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prudish mom

⁨880⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨violet08@lemmy.today⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.today/pictrs/image/d74c52e4-169b-4edc-91f2-1f10a4905f50.jpeg

source

Comments

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  • JoMiran@lemmy.ml ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I hear this a lot from young women, “there’s just no pleasing my mother”. I cannot offer words of wisdom or comfort, but I can promise you this. I will try my hardest to please your mom, as I always do. 👍

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    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Just need to apply some cunning linguistics.

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    • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If you get down there and really work that clam anyone can please their mother.

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      • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Don’t sleep on nipple play.

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    • Skullgrid@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I will try my hardest to please your mom, as I always do. 👍

      this is like that time I told my brother in law “Don’t worry, I’m not doing anything to your sister your dad wouldn’t approve of”.

      This is when we were trying for a baby

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I was an awkward youth and accidentally said something like this to my friends mother. I kept trying to correct myself and the phrasing just kept getting worse.

      by the end of it she was deep crimson and my friend was begging me to stop.

      she always treated me…differently after that.

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      • okmko@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        Hi Mrs. Smith, I’m pleased to your meet

        Err, I meant, your pleased to my meet

        Err, meeting your pleasure

        Err, acquainting our meet

        Look, Mrs. Smith, I just came over to deliver the sausage pizza my whole family wants to give to you.

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  • Zoabrown@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Sometimes being 100% honest is the most chaotic thing you can do. The contrast between her question and that answer is pure comedy gold.

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  • JDPoZ@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I am convinced that violet8 is the single most horny poster on Lemmy now… which is fine… because I am entertained by your posts.

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    • kungen@feddit.nu ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Is Violet8 the evolution of Mickey7 ?

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      • some_random_nick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        Most likely since Mickey7 pivoted. Someone had to fill the niche

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    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      She’s like intellectually horny because she posts funny things that make us think & laugh, while refraining from posting her naked horny body everywhere. This is highly commendable horny behavior.

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    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Nah, she just has an NSFW humor type of sense of entertainment.

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      • TheSeveralJourneysOfReemus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I humor everything, matter of survival of course. I don’t want to be a bad thing.

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  • vantablack@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    i love big fat cocks in my mouth and am still a lesbian lmao

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    • Quill7513@slrpnk.net ⁨39⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      having known a lot of sex workers and lesbians we need, societally, to engage with that some people enjoy giving blowjobs and that this doesn’t invalidate their sexual preference to be with women

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    • ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      RIP your inbox

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      • doingthestuff@lemy.lol ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        I’m getting old reddit vibes, back before it turned to shit

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  • Soulphite@reddthat.com ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Sarah, a big fat cock strapped to a girl still makes you a lesbian. It’s okay!

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    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      There is no sensory reward for Sarah to put a dildo in her mouth.

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      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨48⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

        Perhaps there is? I don’t claim to know sarah that well

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    • eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      A big fat cock that the girl was born with is still lesbian.

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  • WingsofLove03@retrolemmy.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    I am bi so the lgbt is no biggie to me but to my parents it is. I have not told them yet

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  • Grail@multiverse.soulism.net ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Maybe she’s mad at you for girldick erasure

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  • ieatpwns@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You can’t win them all

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    • fartographer@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Charlie Sheen has entered the chat

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  • Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That’s cause mom is a lesbian.

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  • BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Plot twist: She meant male cickens

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      big black cock

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      • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        Now there are at least THREE definitions of BBC.

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    • axexrx@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Theres a local band where that goes by the name Coq au Vin.

      Only some times, they put up signs that say ‘coco van’.

      And rarely, they do a invite only, more raunchy, and generally drug friendly show (like i was up on stage doing coke off the keyboard mid song with the now topless singer last time) under the name ‘cock oven’

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      • JoMiran@lemmy.ml ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        …i was up on stage doing coke off the keyboard mid song with the now topless singer…

        @axexrx@lemmy.world be like:

        Image

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      • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        she’s a screamer.

        www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWNBcE_Bf0iWB3Z8Jy…

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  • MrNesser@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Can’t please everyone

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    • SoloCritical@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Not with that attitude you can’t

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  • funkajunk@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What about perfectly average cocks?

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    • plyth@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      A very rich cock would be perfect.

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  • tetris11@feddit.uk ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    In then immortal words of Super Hans:

    Would you like a parrot?
    Ah that’s right, you’d probably like a Cockatoo

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    • blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      That’s not even correct…

      Oi Mrs C, answer me this - Have you ever had a parrot?

      Err… No

      It’s just you look like you’d enjoy a cockatoo

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      • tetris11@feddit.uk ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yeah. But I was in charge of the quotes, Tom. I drew a line, you crossed that line.

        I’m going to have to have a think about you. I don’t think you can be trusted in a combat situation.

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  • TrickDacy@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Totally happened

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  • JelleWho@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Did you had a pause between “way” and “I”? I presume not since there is no comma “no way, I like”

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨41⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      i also had a pause at no. like a big one. valley girl style

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    • Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      when you wrote this comment did you think the original op was going to see it

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      • tetris11@feddit.uk ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Walls have ears. It’ll propogate through the grapevine, and her cheeks will be red they will. And covered in jizz.

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      • Scranulum@feddit.nu ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I do not give lemmy permission to use my photos or my personal data

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  • phoenixz@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Prude. Who doesn’t love big fat cocks in their mouth?

    Don’t say children, we know that.

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  • MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I bet she’s got legs like a bowl of cereal

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    • darvocet@infosec.pub ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Soggy?

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      • MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        No, full of moose hair and elephant semen. What the hell kind of cereal are you eating?

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  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Damned if you do…

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  • 1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Damned if you do damned if you don’t

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  • DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    But, what did your dad think?

    (I’ll see myself out)

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  • istdaslol@feddit.org ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    With that pfp I would also doubt their answer

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    • alaphic@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yeah, because - as everyone clearly knows - one’s propensity to enjoy sucking cock can be determined directly from their profile picture on any given social media site.

      Brilliant.

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    • PhoenixDog@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      On a scale of 1-yes, how alone are you?

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      • WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yes. Feel free to to go to the bathroom at the back of the place (surely you aren’t going to be using that to scope out the place).

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