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A succulent meal

⁨1000⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ickplant@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/26787dd8-7915-4a60-9d1f-ae2a4ee76fa9.jpeg

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A vegetable wouldn’t hurt you.

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    • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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      • Hazmatastic@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Stop it, you’re killing him!

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    • Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It would if it fell on your head. Checkmate atheists.

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      • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        lol gottem

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      • Hackworth@piefed.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        -Dr. Steve Brule

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      • KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It would also kill you if it was fired out of a cannon without breaking apart somehow

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    • Soulphite@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Potatoes could. The leaves, sprouts, and underground stems (tubers) of potatoes contain a toxic substance called glycoalkaloid. Glycoalkaloids make a potato look green when it’s exposed to light, gets damaged, or ages. Eating potatoes with a high glycoalkaloid content can cause nausea, diarrhea, confusion, headaches, and death.

      Also, the sentient mutant vegetables on Atrack of the Killer Tomatoes will definitely want to do harm toward OP.

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      • ch00f@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Not to mention, if you try to swallow a potato whole (as one does), you risk choking to death.

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      • Gullible@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        From what I understand, green potatoes are rendered harmless by boiling, as the poisons are water soluble. Though they are not rendered inactive by boiling, they are diffused through the water, rendering it inadvisable to reuse for boiling other foods. Following that, harvesting these poisons is relatively easy and a good way to get Cheney, that asshole, to keep to his own fucking food.

        Not disagreeing, trying to keep food waste down.

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      • thisbenzingring@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        now I have Attack of the Killer Tomatoes song in my head, what a fucking classic!

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      • Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I am sure uou shouldn’t eat raw potatoes anyway

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      • samus12345@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Tomatoes are fruit! Although I don’t know if the mutant tomatoes still count as such.

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    • AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m a vegetarian once removed. A lot of the animals I eat were vegetarians.

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      • robocall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        A chicken would eat you if it could

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      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        This at least reduces bioaccumulation.

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    • mc900ftJesus@lemy.lol ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Is wheat not a vegetable?

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      • stray@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Wheat grain is strictly a vegetable, being an edible plant part. But people usually use the word to refer to a socially-constructed category which is completely feels-based. Membership tends to be determined by flavor profile, nutrition content, and whether the given part falls into another popular sub-category (such as fruit or nuts). This is why fruits like the tomato and pumpkin are usually sorted as vegetables separately from fruits with generally sweeter flavors like the banana or orange.

        Vegetables like grains, legumes, and certain tubers will often be grouped together as “carbs” due to their high carbohydrate content which distinguishes them from low-calorie, high-fiber vegetables like spinach or broccoli.

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      • CannedYeet@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Wheat is a plant. If wheat was a vegetable we wouldn’t need the distinction between plant and vegetable.

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    • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Probably hard to from their hospital bed, but I don’t see what this feast fit for a squire has to do with that.

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    • Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Oh yeah? Do you think a bit of fiber finally moving all that trapped poop is harmless? We don’t all have guts of steel like SOMEBODY.

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    • YellowParenti@lemmy.wtf ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      When I was on a strict diet, I actually bought 5 dollar rotisserie chicken and made a stir fry of sorts with broccoli, spinach, carrots, peas. I’d skip breakfast just to be able to have a big dinner and be satisfied going to bed. I’d try to get close to 120g of protein a day, (I’d eat half a chicken a day) and technically as much veg as I could stomach. I figure I was eating around 1500 calories a day. It worked but it was boring.

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    • tino_408@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Most vegetables are poisonous just saying

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      • axx@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That’s really stretching the definition of “vegetables”.

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  • manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Even in the 1960s eating a whole chicken would have been a luxury, this isn’t peasant food, that’s the gout inducing diet of a king

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    • ronl2k@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I doubt anyone today eats a whole chicken for lunch.

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      • Faildini@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I used to work at Boston Market, and there were definitely customers that would order a whole chicken just for themselves and eat it. Not every day or anything, but it wasn’t rare enough to raise eyebrows either.

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  • Tattorack@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Soft white bread? Nobody but rich upper class people could afford soft white bread until well past the industrial revolution.

    That’s also a pretty large roasted bird that’s being eaten in complete absence of stew.

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    • Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Roast chicken on a nice crusty sourdough is amazing. Get some butter or gravy in there it’s a hell of a meal

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    • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      fun fact: whole-grain bread is probably healthier than soft white bread anyways due to an increased content in fiber, so there’s that …

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      • EddoWagt@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I thought this was common knowledge?

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  • Stern@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Skyrim ass meal. need a wheel of cheese with it.

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    • arc99@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Try a ploughmans meal - bread, cheese and pickle. Awesome as a lunch.

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      • TimeNaan@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Btw, that “ploughman’s lunch” was created in the 1960s by british politicians. It has nothing to do with medieval times, it’s just meant to evoque that vague feeling.

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      • lovely_reader@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Is that a pickle or some pickle?

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      • Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        And a wineskin full of barley water, chilled in the stream

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  • timestatic@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A medieval peasant on a celebration day. I doubt they could eat a whole as chicken every day

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    • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Depends on which era honestly. The medieval period lasted for nearly a thousand years and could very about as much as one would expect, so for example a very well off peasant during the high medieval period maybe could have eaten a whole ass chicken for a while at least. Probably wouldn’t have though, at least not without turning it into soup or a sandwich equivalent.

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      • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        stew 🤤️

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    • Godric@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I understand if any more words come pouring out of your cunt mouth, I’m going to have to eat every last chicken in this room.

      youtu.be/DyztFOogj8Y

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    • CaliforniaSober@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Cornish game hen… maybe a quail.

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    • DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah communally like a couple times a year if lucky and most likely spent hens or cockrels not this monstrosity of a broiler meat bred bird.

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  • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Oh damn, that’s a fucking feast! Peasents can’t afford that shit.

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    • Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      He stole the chicken and bread, calm down Mr medieval economy

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      • FloatingAlong@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        All Javerts are bastards.

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  • Damorte@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    [deleted]
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    • SpongyAneurysm@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The roast chicken is usually not an egg creating machine though.
      They are fairly young male chickens, that have been raised just past their maximum growth rates.

      I guess that wouldn’t have been that much different in medieval times. The difference nowadays is, that we have specialized breeds for egg-laying or meat production vice versa and the respective ‘wrong’ sex of each will just be ‘discarded’ right after hatching.

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  • ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Peasants? Even many nobles didn’t eat like that every day.

    People think that the typical nobleman in the Middle Ages ate like King Henry VIII. That isn’t true. Did you that they determined that at least at a few points in Vlad the Impaler’s life he was basically living on a vegan diet? They ate a hell of a lot of vegetables and grains because meat was still expensive for everyone involved.

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    • Lucky_777@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This. You had a steady diet of vegetables and bread. Maybe eggs if you had chickens and some small bit of land. Those times were harsh as fuck

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      • vga@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Or our lives are abundant as fuck, which makes everything else look like absolute poverty.

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      • ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Also they weren’t guzzling wine and ale at all hours and when they did drink it was usually cut with water or what they called ‘small beer’ and very young wine (which didn’t have time to properly fermented and reach full potency) that had limited alcohol content. Also they did drink water. In the same way that in places in the world where they have limited water treatment facilities they still drink water even if it isn’t the best.

        Again… they weren’t stupid. They might not have had the depth and breadth of modern medical technology on how alcohol affects you, but people knew what it did and they know what addiction is (even if they made it out to be a personal weakness) and how terrible it was.

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    • elbiter@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Hell no, he had brochettes almost every day…

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      • Hlodwig@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Vlad, the real inventor of gyros/kebab

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      • ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Humans on a stick don’t count!

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  • JAPHacake@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    More like a medieval king.

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  • john_t@piefed.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent chicken meal?”, “Get your hand off my baguette!”

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    • Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I had to scroll way too far for this.

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  • S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You’re eating like Final Fight.
    (Hits a trashcan)
    Roasted chicken.
    (Hits some tires)
    Bread.
    100% health let’s go!!!

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    • Maultasche@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Oh look, a lead pipe!

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      • S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Haggard:
        Oh yes I’m tournament viable now!

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      • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Just don’t drink out of it and you’ll be okay.

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    • humorlessrepost@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Needs more golden carrot

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  • AHorseWithNoNeigh@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    chicken

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    • AmosBurton_ThatGuy@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      chicken

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  • Sanctus@anarchist.nexus ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    No utensils required

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  • Aeri@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If by “peasant” you mean “knight of the fucking round table” then yes

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  • DragonOracleIX@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A medieval peasant would be wishing they could est like this.

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  • mlg@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    No one before the 1930s had access to such a large breed of chicken lol.

    They probably would have confused this picture with a miniature Turkey.

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    • Hule@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      HA! A mini Anatolian peninsula, you say?

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    • Ummdustry@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      or a very lean goose

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  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A few things to unpack here.

    • That chicken is roasted nicely, but I completely understand if that was bought in that condition at the grocer’s.
    • Plain bread is a travesty. it needs to be either toasted and/or you need some melted butter or gravy to sop up.
    • Pair this with some fruit or pan seared/roasted vegetables. Even microwaved beans would make this nutritious. Takes very little effort, very easy to do.
    • Even peasants had access to beer, ale, or home-made short-beer/kvass. Gotta calorie-max so you can work in the field tomorrow. Plus, the alcohol helps with the constant muscle-aches and fatigue from endless labor.

    There are innumerable ways to elevate this meal, but I’ll keep this comment short. Anyone, feel free to message me or reply here if you want tips for that.

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    • edinbruh@feddit.it ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Plain bread is perfectly fine as long as it’s not one of those super dry breads

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      • ThirdConsul@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        super dry breads

        Technically that’s not bread. That’s… Hm… Wheat scratcher? Anywho, a proper bread with no industrial processing is moist. :)

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    • Alaknar@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Plain bread is a travesty

      This isn’t plain bread, good sir, this is a baguette! Well, rather small one, but still.

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  • arc99@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A lazy supermarket special - a roast chicken in a bag and a baguette roll picked up on the way to the checkout. We’ve all been there and I’m sure it makes a passable meal, but cooking is a skill everyone should endeavour to be proficient in.

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    • chilicheeselies@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah but lets face it, a supermarket rotisserie chicken is generally cheaper and better than a chicken roasted at home. I dont understand the economic of it, but its true. I have up roasting chicken at home because its just never as succulent

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      • fairyfuzz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        $5 at Costco babyyyyyy 

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    • pintsandsocks@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The bachelor’s handbag.

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  • thethrilloftime69@feddit.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You’re going to be constipated

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  • Eat_Your_Paisley@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The person for sure needs to learn how to cook

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  • Siegfried@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Peasants? That wpuld be a medieval noble

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  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Looks pretty good, but I’d like some BBQ sauce, at least.

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  • heiligerbimbam@lemmy.wtf ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    😂 I don’t think I eat that much meat in a whole month, but I also “cook” very simply. Quantity and taste are more important than style.

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  • whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Reminds me of a pretty recent game called Pentiment that’s like an old school point and click adventure about a murder in a middle age German Abby where a bunch of conversations happen over meals & who you eat with can have an effect on a bunch if stuff in the game. it was pretty cool to include and I’m guessing they tried to go for some accuracy considering how much detail they use on the foods.

    Image

    Image

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  • DrSleepless@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Minecraft dinner

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  • Diddlydee@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Needs butter.

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  • ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Lol no. How about porridge with water every day of the week.

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  • pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A medieval king more like

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  • robocall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That’s a US$5 Costco rotisserie

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  • sommerset@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Bro where is the greens?

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