Submitted 2 weeks ago by RmDebArc_5@piefed.zip to [deleted]
https://piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com/posts/yL/YS/yLYS2vQ2UN2jnnv.jpg
#4 looks like a shoehorn. Is that even concave enough to use as a spoon? Likely not. That’s out.
#3 is definitely not a spoon. No idea what it is, but it’s not gonna work well as a spoon. Not gonna deal with that one.
#2 is actually a spoon, but a small one. It’ll be frustrating to use forever. I’d prefer not to use it.
#1 is actually a decent sized spoon. Oddly shaped, but it’ll hold a decent amount of food or liquid. I guess I could live with that one.
3 looks like my grandmothers sugar spoon from one of those little jar and spoon sets
It doesn’t say we get a fork or knife, so I’ll choose 2 for it’s pointy/stabbing ability.
Mooooomin spoooon
As a bonus, I’m pretty sure #1 is tarnished Sterling silver.
You’re also going to keep cutting the sides of your mouth with #2 (maybe not at first but if it’s the only one you can use, forever?).
you can kill a zombie with #2.
Four looks like the only one made of stainless steel. The rest will have a flavour.
#1 looks like tarnished silver. That’s clean up easy.
Do we know if it’s maidenless?
Why the fuck do you want to spend the rest of your life cleaning silver?
Silver actually interacts horribly with and ruins the flavour of some foods. There’s a reason why silver cups often have gold plating on the inside to not ruin the taste of wine.
I’d stick with the steel any time.
Dont clean off that patina! Rick would be displeased if you did.
Childhood memory of surprisingly disgusting pudding 🔓
Why wouldn’t anyone choose 1? It’s just a bit blocky, but a spoon nonetheless.
And the question said eat, so small spoons are available for cooking or jars when needed
It’s the only thing that would even work inside a mouth. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t want it, but 1 is the most spoon-shaped and endurable.
It’s tarnished and might taste funny. Plus it’s got those weird ridges which would bother some of the neurospicy peeps until they learn not to suck it like a goddamn “lollipop” when they’re eating.
If 4 is some weird ass moomin spoon like I think it might, definitely that one because fuck yeah moomin!
Otherwise it has to be the goblin shovel.
Do you hate soup?
What’s stopping you from using it for soup?
Not OP but I reckon I could live life comfortably without one.
Yes and I’m tired of apologizing for it. Go enjoy your dirty puddle meal you slurper
/s
I drink soup from a sports bottle. Like an Olympian.
this will still hold soup, just not as much.
3 and use it to threaten OP into letting me use a normal spoon again.
OP’s lawyer here
I discussed your request with my client, and we decided to move forward with accepting it.
However, it’s up to you, yo approve this decision. Your options are (a) use spoon number 3 for the rest of your life, or (b) use a normal spoon for the rest of your life.
Keep in mind that:
Then we have an accord. IRL, I carry a cutlery set among the various other accoutrements in my bag, so we should be good.
2, all the other ones can go to hell holy shit i’d cry if i had to eat with them (yes, i’m neurodivergent hello)
But 2 is spiky in the back and it will stab your lips when you pull in out of your mouth.
That just gives you an excuse to practice your lip game while eating
i can live with physical pain if it saves me from mental anguish
#1.
Otherwise, you’re a fucking moron.
Nooo the creases would drive me crazy
Don’t clamp down on the spoon like you’re trying to pay rent with alternative options
impossible to clean
you die a few weeks later, unable to clean your utensils.
has to be #1. Can eat soup comfortably, will balance in hand well without your hand touching the soup. Still small enough to stir coffee.
Sorry but in my house that’s the cat food spoon.
The one with all the ridges that’s hardest to clean?
I’m with you. All those spoons are abominations.
I’d definitely pick 3.
First of all, if you can only eat with one spoon, you might as well pick a cool-looking one. Imagine being at a social event and people are handing out spoons to eat soup or whatever, and you’re like “no thanks, I always eat with this spoon I brought from home”. That would be kinda cringe and weird if you pick a spoon with a boring basic design. But if you pick the third one with it’s interesting demon handle, it’s gonna make you look mysterious. People are going to wonder and ask you about the story behind the spoon. Women will giggle at you and ask if you’d share the spoon with them.
Secondly, it has the most generally useful shape. Being smaller than the others can be very useful for eating from some containers. It has corners instead of being perfectly round, which allows a bit of scraping. But because the corners are rounded, you don’t have to worry about leaving scratches or carving microplastics out of plastic containers.
Looking to introduce the spoon thing for non-autistics too eh?
2 is the only one that doesn’t look so big it won’t fit in your mouth.
also makes a good arrowhead / eye stabber.
My fingers. My. Goddamned. Fingers. Fuck you. I’d rather go through the sensory hell of shoveling chicken noodle in my gullet than use any of these textural monstrocities.
4
This. Like, I might be crazy, but I’m kinda into #4.
None of the above, I will use my fingers instead.
in spite of myself i choose Saucy Goblin Spoon and am angry every time i eat cereal until i die
1-3 are out of the question
1: unpleasant form 2 and 3: unpleasant material (coarse/blunt, don’t know the English word) 4: weird but ok
1: unpleasant form
I thought the very opposite lmao! That 1 shape looks very appealing to me. Like eating with a more symmetrical seashell. Nice
It is subjective of course!
I (and many Germans I assume) know that spoon all to well being used for sugar. As such you’d imagine it’s in there forever with stuck sugar pieces making the spoon rather unappealing, too.
Going with Indiana Jones logic I’ll pick 2
The Spoomin is obviously the only correct choice here!
Number 4 because its the biggest
Gimme the little shovel. (3)
No.
#4 -> melt it down, make 3 normal spoons
the availability of spoons is not the matter at hand
4
Great shape for soup, scooping out ice cream, sliding your foot into a tight shoe, eating oatmeal and eating cereal.
I dislike all of them but if I had to choose I’d be spoon 1
No more soup for me, i guess.
#3. It has a little guy!!!
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Seriously, someone with internet search powers, please tell me where I can get number 3. I want to carry it in my pocket at all times and reveal it in the middle of conversions like a badge of my goblinage.
toynbee@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It seems likely there are at least two letters missing here.
TeddE@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
GOBLIN ASS-SHOVEL
GOBLIN ASS-SHOVEL
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago