In a sense of understanding the wife’s perspective, proximity is just as important as the other major factors that affect how likely a relationship is to begin. There was a cool study of college students who lived in an apartment style building that showed you were most likely to begin a relationship with the person who had a door immediately next to yours. The only exception to that was for the person who had a door immediately next to the mailboxes. Proximity matters because it lets another person see you enough to form opinions based on a lot of interactions, and we all know someone who ‘shines’ despite their physical looks.
Plot twist: new neighbor was wearing a shirt that read, “I <3 dad bods,” and was already flirting (asking for help moving boxes /eyeroll) with the guy in sweatpants.
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
wife in a healthy relationship, looking at her sweatpantsed husband: heavy breathing Oh my!
MissJinx@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
never underestimate the desire of some women for married man. I had a friend once tell me shw only dated married man because she knew he was good enough. No need to say the friendship didn’t last long
troyunrau@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
This is a real phenomenon. Men are more attractive when they’re already in a relationship.
There are similar psychological effects that exist elsewhere. A job applicant is more attractive if they currently have a job. A scholarship application is more attractive if you list your existing scholarships. The effect is basically: someone else found you desirable, and therefore I must also.
The effect is so strong that it encourages people to fake it to gain the benefits.
xkbx@startrek.website 3 weeks ago
It’s like when children grab the toys of others. They don’t want to play with the toy, the fact of the toy being possessed is what makes the toy desirable. The grass is always married on the other side of the fence.