jubilationtcornpone
@jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
- Comment on Saviour 14 hours ago:
No, no. I believe what he said was “Muslin Ban”.
- Comment on BRB, need more cheese 22 hours ago:
Velveeta: Bringing Washington style gridlock to your colon.
- Comment on U.S. Employee engagement sinks to 10-year low 5 days ago:
Employers: “Let’s treat our entire workforce like they’re all completely expendable and let each of them know that we would happily shove them off a cliff if it would have a positive impact on our bottom line.”
Also Employers: “Why are all our employees so disloyal and disconnected? NO oNe WaNtS tO wOrK aNyMoRe.”
- Comment on S̵̢̡̠̣̜͍̘͍̈́̿͒̈̎̉͌͂̎̾̓Ḩ̶̡̛̯̰̤̻͖̹̝̼͍͔̰̃̅̋̍̈̆̋̋́̔͝Ǫ̴̺͔̫͈͉͎̤͎͗͂̅͒̀͒W̶̛͖̺̰̠̙̲̓͆̋̉̌̆̂͛̀̒̕͘ ̷̨̦̤̇̀̓̉́̅͒̄͝M̶͓̗͚̩̬͈͎͗̓̈́́͜͜Ẹ̵̢̢̺̞͓͓̤͙̙͖̈́̈̉͝ ̶̧̡̲̺͓̮̰̘̮͚͉̝͈̝̀͒́̎̾̓͜͝͝͠T̷̡̟̘̫͋͋̑͊̓͐̊̐̎H̸̪̋͛̓̀̍̂̐̂͐̾̈́̒̃É̵̛̾̅̀͛̃̄̏ 6 days ago:
From what I’ve seen, nothing will make a bunch of lineman hit the deck like the sound of high voltage switchgear opening when they weren’t expecting it.
“NNNNYYYYYYAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZTTTTT”
- Comment on sports are popular with sports fans follow for more 1 week ago:
My wife and I always get a kick out of it when sports commentators say things that are just stupidly obvious. I think the best one so far was “if you want to win you gotta win.”
I think that was Joe Buck during a Jets game but I’m not positive.
- Comment on [deleted] 1 week ago:
I remember when Emma Watson turned 18, and there were websites that counted down to it. Same for Lindsay Lohan. It was so creepy, and also weirdly presented as ‘normal dude behavior’ back in the aughts. I’m glad that’s no longer acceptable. It always gave me the ick.
I’m with you there. Anyone who looks at a person and thinks “I can’t wait until they’re 18 and legally fuckable” needs to go spend some time seriously re-examining their life choices.
Younglings, if you’re reading this, rest assured, you look great, and I’m just an old twisted weirdo with specific tastes.
This is great btw. There are some awesome things that come with getting older. Maybe not hair loss or joint pain. Or the decline of your metabolism that happens in your early 20’s when you’ve finished growing.
You’re gonna lose the “cool” factor. You will. It’s inevitable. But you won’t care. I’m 35. I like myself now. I don’t give a shit what other people think of me and 99.9% of the time they’re not thinking about me at all. My 30’s have been my favorite decade so far. I would have thought you were crazy if you told 16 year old me that was gonna happen.
- Comment on It shows you love them 1 week ago:
The man is literally a walking national security threat who has no problem blabbing state secrets for free because in his mind, it’s a way of showing how important he is.
- Comment on [deleted] 1 week ago:
I know a few couples like that. I also have a 16 year old daughter with plenty of 16(ish) year old friends. For the life of me, I cannot fathom what a 30+ year old man could see in a 16/17 year old girl, other than maybe being easily manipulated. That may be enough. Cause it’s definitely not their personal hygiene, conversation abilities, or depth of experience in any given area.
- Submitted 3 weeks ago to [deleted] | 18 comments
- Comment on It's Christmas, my dudes. 3 weeks ago:
Humbug.
- Comment on It's Christmas, my dudes. 3 weeks ago:
They can do anything. Of course they can!
- Comment on Literally 4 weeks ago:
“No. I’ve been working out every day in preparation for this rematch.”
- Comment on I'll light the candles around the tub, baby. 4 weeks ago:
- Comment on AT&T's CTO tells his US team there won't be 'one-for-one seating' upon the return to 5 days in office — read the memo 4 weeks ago:
By coming together in person, we can strengthen our connections, foster a vibrant culture, and achieve our shared goals.
strengthen our connections
That’s a cruel irony coming from a telecom that refuses to sell connections to millions of Americans who already have an AT&T cable connected to their house.
vibrant culture If by “vibrant” you mean “lumbering dinosaur that is the textbook definition of ‘engineered incompetence’” then ok because good corporate culture is definitely not what AT&T is known for.
- Comment on I guess I'm just a cubicle monkey now 4 weeks ago:
“The Taliban used to be free of restrictions, but now we sit in one place, behind a desk and a computer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Life’s become so wearisome; you do the same things every day.” – Some dude with the Taliban
- Comment on Every time I search a windows error 4 weeks ago:
Somewhere in the not so distant future…
Google Search: “Install printer driver windows 11”
Result from random blog:
“My first experience with printer drivers was 35 years ago. My grandma had an IBM PS2 that ran MS DOS and an HP Deskjet printer. It connected to the computer via a parallel port and printed a whopping 1 page per minute. Every year at Christmas, Grandma would print off her famous pecan pie recipe and we would all gather around the printer, eagerly listening to the sound of the print head slowly whooshing back and forth in anticipation of the tasty goodness to come. Blah blah blah. Five more pages of meaningless stories that have nothing to do with installing print drivers followed by a solution that only works for Epson printers.” - Comment on Skoolie from Temu. 5 weeks ago:
Probably didn’t phase that GMC van a bit. Those things were built like tanks.
- Comment on War on Christmas 1 month ago:
We already abandoned the laws of physics at flying reindeer but more importantly, it fits. F-35, not so much.
- Comment on War on Christmas 1 month ago:
🎶Santa Clause got shot down by an A-10. Dropping gifts at our house Christmas Eve. You can say there is no war on Christmas. But all the murdered reindeer disagree.🎶
- Comment on The beetles were heretics! 1 month ago:
I knew it! I was sure I heard John say “hail Satan, Lord of Darkness” when I played one of their albums backwards.
- Comment on Just one toke! 1 month ago:
Mariwhata?
- Comment on 🎵 You know the season and so do I 🎶 1 month ago:
I was confused until I read the music. 😏
- Comment on BACK IT UP 1 month ago:
Ask and you shall receive.
- Comment on BACK IT UP 1 month ago:
I think we should take full advantage of this opportunity. Ok, here we go.
“Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Is a baby murderer! He thinks people should be able to inject themselves with stem cells which are just another name for little bits of unborn baby! President Trump is appointing a pro-choice Democrat baby murderer to head up the FDA!!”
How am I doing so far?
- Comment on New Xhitter policy just dropped 2 months ago:
Anyone still on Shitter is just asking for whatever they get at this point.
- Comment on make it make sense 2 months ago:
“It’s not a lie, if you believe it.”
- Comment on What do zoos do with dead animals? 2 months ago:
Definitely easier if you can plan it in advance.
- Comment on What do zoos do with dead animals? 2 months ago:
What do you do if you have a horse that dies or has to be put down? You call your neighbor down the road who has an excavator and ask him to dig you a horse sized hole. Then you bury it. If you don’t, you won’t want to leave your house for at least a week.
- Comment on Love her or hate her, she’s spitting facts 2 months ago:
If you’re a dude and you’ve never tried a prostate massage, you don’t know what you’re missing. Feels a little weird at first but then it feels really good.
- Comment on Mythology 2 months ago:
God: Go tell Joseph I did it.
Gabriel: Yeah… It was God.
Joseph: Oh… Uh… Well Ok then.
Gabriel: And you’re gonna be cool about it.
Joseph: Yep. I’m cool. It’s all good. We’re cool.
