jubilationtcornpone

@jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨AT&T's CTO tells his US team there won't be 'one-for-one seating' upon the return to 5 days in office — read the memo⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  By coming together in person, we can strengthen our connections, foster a vibrant culture, and achieve our shared goals.

  strengthen our connections

  That’s a cruel irony coming from a telecom that refuses to sell connections to millions of Americans who already have an AT&T cable connected to their house.

  vibrant culture If by “vibrant” you mean “lumbering dinosaur that is the textbook definition of ‘engineered incompetence’” then ok because good corporate culture is definitely not what AT&T is known for.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I guess I'm just a cubicle monkey now⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  “The Taliban used to be free of restrictions, but now we sit in one place, behind a desk and a computer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Life’s become so wearisome; you do the same things every day.” – Some dude with the Taliban

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Every time I search a windows error⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Somewhere in the not so distant future…

  Google Search: “Install printer driver windows 11”

  Result from random blog:
  “My first experience with printer drivers was 35 years ago. My grandma had an IBM PS2 that ran MS DOS and an HP Deskjet printer. It connected to the computer via a parallel port and printed a whopping 1 page per minute. Every year at Christmas, Grandma would print off her famous pecan pie recipe and we would all gather around the printer, eagerly listening to the sound of the print head slowly whooshing back and forth in anticipation of the tasty goodness to come. Blah blah blah. Five more pages of meaningless stories that have nothing to do with installing print drivers followed by a solution that only works for Epson printers.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Skoolie from Temu.⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Probably didn’t phase that GMC van a bit. Those things were built like tanks.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨War on Christmas⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  We already abandoned the laws of physics at flying reindeer but more importantly, it fits. F-35, not so much.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨War on Christmas⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  🎶Santa Clause got shot down by an A-10. Dropping gifts at our house Christmas Eve. You can say there is no war on Christmas. But all the murdered reindeer disagree.🎶

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The beetles were heretics!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I knew it! I was sure I heard John say “hail Satan, Lord of Darkness” when I played one of their albums backwards.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Just one toke!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Mariwhata?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨🎵 You know the season and so do I 🎶⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I was confused until I read the music. 😏

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨BACK IT UP⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Ask and you shall receive.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨BACK IT UP⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I think we should take full advantage of this opportunity. Ok, here we go.

  “Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Is a baby murderer! He thinks people should be able to inject themselves with stem cells which are just another name for little bits of unborn baby! President Trump is appointing a pro-choice Democrat baby murderer to head up the FDA!!”

  How am I doing so far?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨New Xhitter policy just dropped⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Anyone still on Shitter is just asking for whatever they get at this point.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨make it make sense⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “It’s not a lie, if you believe it.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What do zoos do with dead animals?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Definitely easier if you can plan it in advance.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What do zoos do with dead animals?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  What do you do if you have a horse that dies or has to be put down? You call your neighbor down the road who has an excavator and ask him to dig you a horse sized hole. Then you bury it. If you don’t, you won’t want to leave your house for at least a week.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Love her or hate her, she’s spitting facts⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  If you’re a dude and you’ve never tried a prostate massage, you don’t know what you’re missing. Feels a little weird at first but then it feels really good.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mythology⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  God: Go tell Joseph I did it.

  Gabriel: Yeah… It was God.

  Joseph: Oh… Uh… Well Ok then.

  Gabriel: And you’re gonna be cool about it.

  Joseph: Yep. I’m cool. It’s all good. We’re cool.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Enshittification only hurts product itself, not users.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  To be fair, Windows has huge, maybe even unreasonable, demands placed on it for backward compatibility due to corps not wanting to dump their 30 year old legacy software. And to Microsoft’s credit, they actually manage to do that pretty well while maintaining a reasonably stable OS. Most of the time, anyway.

  The increasing interest in using Windows as a conduit for ads and data collection is what they really chafes me and is the primary reason I’m slowly moving away from Windows.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨"The American experiment endures," Biden said. "We're going to be OK."⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  overstay torso

  It happens to a lot of people after their mid 20’s. Damned slow ass metabolism.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨aerodynamics⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m gonna need to put oversized tires, a jack, and a custom air intake on it for all my trips to Walmart.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨lemmy rn⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I think Jon Stewart would make a great president. I also think he would probably be miserable and I would hate to do that to him.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨US Democracy⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Kind of feels like our “crossing the Rubicon” moment. Except instead of an intellgent and accomplished general leading an army, we got a clown leading a circus.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm not worried you're worried⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I have an idea! Let’s put the guy whose policies partly contributed to our current economic state back in charge of everything. He’ll definitely fix it this time.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm not worried you're worried⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh, no. They will be hurt the same as everyone else but The Donald will just tell them that it’s the Democrats/immigrants/gay people’s/critical race theory’s fault and they will believe him because having someone else to blame for their problems is a lot easier than fixing their problems.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ignore the Cosplay. Trump's Record Shows He 'Does Not Give a Damn About Working-Class People'⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  1. Sign tax cuts into law.

  2. Pat yourself on the back as God’s gift to the middle class.

  3. Conveniently fail to tell non-rich people that their tax cuts are going to expire until it’s time to…

  4. Blame Democrats for their impending expiration.

  5. Profit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨lemmy.ca user Is this true?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The Book of Mormon is a wild ride.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨He's a little feisty, but he looked cold⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  “I think your little dog looks tasty. It’s literally the only reason I’m here right now.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pretty sound reasoning here.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  What about double barreled shotguns? Those are each going to require two fingers. I’m beginning to think the creators of this change.org petition haven’t really thought this through.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pretty sound reasoning here.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s called an elephant gun because it’s for shooting elephants. Not because it’s the size of an elephant. There is no way a horses hoof or an elephants trunk will fit in the barrel of a gun thats less than .50 cal.

  But you know what will? A finger. You’re just going to want to shove it in their really good because those cartridges pack a punch.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨That cereal ain't right⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Say old top, that is one fine lookin’ bowl of hot bewilderment you got there.