jubilationtcornpone

@jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  In some ways, yes. At 36, I have a wife and kids whom I love and enjoy. I’m a very lucky man in that respect. During my 20’s and my first (God awful) marriage, I resigned myself to the idea that I would never have a family.

  My job is not particularly fulfilling. In fact, when asked in interviews which parts of my career I’ve enjoyed most my answer is, without hesitation, “the jobs I didn’t get paid for.” Volunteering for things that had a meaningful impact on people’s lives has always been very satisfying. Sadly, I haven’t had time to do much of that in recent years. In my experience, there is a lot of truth in the statement, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” I hope to get back to doing more volunteer work when my younger kids are a little bigger.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ġ̵̻ͅį̴̹̜̼̙͍͋̈̕m̷̦͎͈̎̄̄̿̈ṁ̶̭̫͓̞̻̾̂̚ë̶͚́̍̀͆ ̴̻͗̈́̿̂̚͝f̴̧̳̝͓̫̆̍͌͠u̸̧̖̠̗͔̽̽̾ȇ̶̝̠̎̔l̵̡͙͔̀́̃́̓͘,̵̠̜̽͛ ̴͙̜͇͚̥̜̑͛͐̓͆͒ḡ̸̮͝͠ḯ̸͍̩͛͗̍͝ṁ̶̛͎̖̭̖̓̃͑̃ḿ̵̫̇e̸͈͕̍̍͒ ̸̧̣̣̣̹̺͌̃ẇ̴̤̳͇̪̝̑̈́̏̚i̶͖͒̒r̶̢̪̙͉̭̥̂̐e̵̞̳̻̍͘⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Substation switchgear: Opens circuit

  Electricity: “Nnnneeeeeooooooooowwwwwzzzzzzzzzttttttttt!!!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Harken, mortals, your saviour is born⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream…

  Joseph: “Holy mother of God!!”

  Angel: “Yeah, funny you should say that…”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Attitudes⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Relegated to a random shared drive, never to be opened again.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Attitudes⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m here because I find fulfillment in creating spreadsheets and having my expertise routinely ignored.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can I use your shower?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Depends. Is that what you want us to be talking about?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Get ready for...⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Image

  Spoiler

  Engine topper topper.

  Image

  Spoiler

  Engine topper topper topper.

  Image

  Spoiler

  Engine topper topper topper topper.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can I use your shower?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Smells like a tossed salad.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  First off, Hank Green, it’s The Muppet Christmas Carol. Second, it is the best film version of A Christmas Carol hands down. I will die on this hill. Finally, we pretty much kicked any scientific accuracy to the curb, starting with pretending that Gonzo is Charles Dickens.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨it is legal to keep a kangaroo as a pet in oklahoma⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  🎶Ooooaaaaaaklhoma, where the ‘roos come hoppin’ down the plain. With poverty, as far as you can see, and casinos on each reserv - a - tion.

  Well we know that you’re stuck on that land. And the land that you’re stuck on is bland. And when we saayyyyy, Yeeow! Ayipioeeay! We’re only sayin’ are you sure you’re fine, Oklahoma? You don’t look like you’re OK.🎶

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨megashark literature⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  My favorite Tolstoy work is Anna Godzilla. It’s about a giant pre-historic lizard who has an intense affair with an imperial Russian count before completely wiping out Saint Petersburg.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I just learned 37% of Americans fear vaccinating their dog will cause the dog to develop autism. 😐⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Fluoride

  /S

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The most predictable sequel ever filmed⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Me: “Huh. That’s weird. I don’t remember eating corn.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Revelation!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I spent a week “shoot bagging” seed corn when I was a teenager. It’s kind of like putting condoms on corn stalks. It helps prevent this sort of thing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨same shit every day, on god⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Nuclear Powered Steam Locomotives

  Pros:

  • Looks cool as hell.
  • Only needs to be refuled every 25 years.
  • It’s a steam locomotive.
  • It’s a steam locomotive.
  • Did I mention it’s a steam locomotive?

  Cons:

  • Have to replace the fireman with a nuclear engineer.
  • Still have to stop to grease bearings and take on water periodically.
  • Hazardous radioactive materials.

  Pros clearly outweigh the cons. What are we waiting for?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨same shit every day, on god⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Where’s the cloud? The cloud has to be involved somehow.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Stick⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Core memory unlocked.

  🎶Stick-to-it-ivity
  If you’ve got that stuff called Stick-to-it-ivity
  You’re gonna do all right.
  Old Man Adversity gonna have his bluff called
  Stick-to-it-ivity never lost a fight.🎶

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Piano man⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Image

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Read it in a southern accent, it'll makes sense⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  See also: “We ain’t got no soda right now cause the city done put us under a boil order. Somethin’ about a broke water main.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Everyone's got a fetish, I guess.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Tarrantula Hawk Wasp: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair dryer has just been dropped into your bubble bath.

  The first time I ever saw one of these it was dragging a paralyzed tarantula back to its nest. That big fucker stopped what it was doing, turned around, and stared at me like it was sizing me up. It then turned back around and continued dragging the tarantula across the ground like, “Oh. It’s just a human. Not an actual threat. No biggie.”

  No biggie is right. No way in hell I was getting anywhere close to a 3 inch long wasp.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Would you date someone that uses a hammer?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Image

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨so every shitpost sub is going to be swamped by American politics? please can politics be banned⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Am American. Our politics are currently one giant shit post.

  Also, there are no rules against shit posting about international politics. So, fire flush away.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Screw your zodiac sign, tell me..⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  #4

  I forgot my money even had those dishes.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump suggests Joe Biden’s prostate cancer diagnosis was a cover-up⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  “President Trump has the body of a morbidly obese 80 year old with congestive heart failure 27 year old athlete who runs 8 miles per day. The doctors ran more tests because they wanted to know what his secret for longevity is. Turns out it was all that making America great again with nothing but his tiny bare hands.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The existence of billionaires is a policy failure⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Richard Branson.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Knows more than most scientists… according to one extremely reliable source: themselves⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Reminds me of my neighbors complaining some websites had “liberal views” on vaccines.

  I didn’t even bother to ask what that meant because the phrase itself was so stupid. I just knew the explanation was going to be even stupider.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The car of the guy who insists that you have a terminal case of TDS⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  “Always Tell the Truth”

  Buddy, I have some really disappointing news for you.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨You can do anything at Zombocom⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  “Welcome to Zombocom.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I didn't verify the headline.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Image

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨877-CASH-NOW⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Still waiting to get my healthcare “fixed” after 10 years. Any day now…