jubilationtcornpone
@jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
- Comment on 1 day ago:
“This would be a real banger if we mixed in a synthesizer and some orchestral music.” --Jeff Lynne (Probably)
He may not have actually said that but he certainly thought it and he was not wrong.
- Comment on Tips 4 days ago:
That’s pretty much my littlest one. He got forced out into the world and he’s been pissed about it ever since.
- Comment on Tips 4 days ago:
You spend too much money in electricity. Have you thought about just freezing to death?
- Comment on [10] Guy 6 days ago:
Five foot eleven!? I didn’t know they stacked shit that high!!
- Comment on Huh? 1 week ago:
Totally get it. You wanna be where you can see your troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name.
- Comment on Annual merit increase 1 week ago:
You guys have jobs??
- Comment on You never know who you're arguing with 1 week ago:
If it were, “Share your stuffies and go out for ice cream”, it would be far from the worst marriage advice I’ve ever heard.
- Comment on You never know who you're arguing with 1 week ago:
Playing video games with my nephews
Me: Get obliterated because I suck
Nephew #1: “Ha ha!”
Nephew #2: “What a fucking noob.”
Wife: Appears seemingly from nowhere “Excuse me!? Do I need to talk to your mom about your language?”
Nephews 1&2: “No ma’am.”
Me: 😏
- Comment on Triggers 1 week ago:
One of the best teachers I have ever seen was one of my kids teachers during COVID.
All the other, mostly younger, teachers were just “herp derping” their way through doing school remotely. And this one lady, who was like two years from retirement, just points a camera at a blank piece of paper and writes out the math lessons by hand while talking you through each step.
I’m just watching this like, “where the hell was this lady when I was in 6th grade??”
- Comment on Triggers 1 week ago:
My parents: “You just need to focus and finish your math homework.”
My undiagnosed ADHD brain: “No can-dos-ville babydoll.”
- Comment on [deleted] 1 week ago:
Thankfully that was a long time ago. I’ve had a chance to heal and I learned a lot from that experience, especially about myself. I’m doing good now. I appreciate the good vibes though.
- Comment on [deleted] 1 week ago:
Same for my ex wife! Except I would never send her this message because I never want to see her miserable face again for as long as I live.
- Comment on Life pro tip for friends of pharmacists 2 weeks ago:
Yellow Mustard.
- Comment on A conservative think tank is suing Oregon over a new law that makes it illegal to impersonate a union representative 2 weeks ago:
“We should be able to commit fraud” is
a… bold stancethe Republican party platform.FTFY
- Comment on 2 weeks ago:
…if it’s white
beg for your liferun away! - Comment on The shrinkflation 2 weeks ago:
OK, Art Vandelay.
- Comment on Adtech is not tech 2 weeks ago:
More shovels to the face. That’s the power of the Home Depot.
- Comment on Internet picture of a monkey 2 weeks ago:
Nowadays people spend their money on sensible crazes, like Stanley Mugs.
AKA “Big Dumb Cups”
- Comment on When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child 4 weeks ago:
In some ways, yes. At 36, I have a wife and kids whom I love and enjoy. I’m a very lucky man in that respect. During my 20’s and my first (God awful) marriage, I resigned myself to the idea that I would never have a family.
My job is not particularly fulfilling. In fact, when asked in interviews which parts of my career I’ve enjoyed most my answer is, without hesitation, “the jobs I didn’t get paid for.” Volunteering for things that had a meaningful impact on people’s lives has always been very satisfying. Sadly, I haven’t had time to do much of that in recent years. In my experience, there is a lot of truth in the statement, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” I hope to get back to doing more volunteer work when my younger kids are a little bigger.
- Comment on Ġ̵̻ͅį̴̹̜̼̙͍͋̈̕m̷̦͎͈̎̄̄̿̈ṁ̶̭̫͓̞̻̾̂̚ë̶͚́̍̀͆ ̴̻͗̈́̿̂̚͝f̴̧̳̝͓̫̆̍͌͠u̸̧̖̠̗͔̽̽̾ȇ̶̝̠̎̔l̵̡͙͔̀́̃́̓͘,̵̠̜̽͛ ̴͙̜͇͚̥̜̑͛͐̓͆͒ḡ̸̮͝͠ḯ̸͍̩͛͗̍͝ṁ̶̛͎̖̭̖̓̃͑̃ḿ̵̫̇e̸͈͕̍̍͒ ̸̧̣̣̣̹̺͌̃ẇ̴̤̳͇̪̝̑̈́̏̚i̶͖͒̒r̶̢̪̙͉̭̥̂̐e̵̞̳̻̍͘ 4 weeks ago:
Substation switchgear: Opens circuit
Electricity: “Nnnneeeeeooooooooowwwwwzzzzzzzzzttttttttt!!!”
- Comment on Harken, mortals, your saviour is born 4 weeks ago:
Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream…
Joseph: “Holy mother of God!!”
Angel: “Yeah, funny you should say that…”
- Comment on Attitudes 5 weeks ago:
Relegated to a random shared drive, never to be opened again.
- Comment on Attitudes 5 weeks ago:
I’m here because I find fulfillment in creating spreadsheets and having my expertise routinely ignored.
- Comment on Can I use your shower? 5 weeks ago:
Depends. Is that what you want us to be talking about?
- Comment on Get ready for... 5 weeks ago:
- Comment on Can I use your shower? 5 weeks ago:
Smells like a tossed salad.
- Comment on 5 weeks ago:
First off, Hank Green, it’s The Muppet Christmas Carol. Second, it is the best film version of A Christmas Carol hands down. I will die on this hill. Finally, we pretty much kicked any scientific accuracy to the curb, starting with pretending that Gonzo is Charles Dickens.
- Comment on it is legal to keep a kangaroo as a pet in oklahoma 5 weeks ago:
🎶Ooooaaaaaaklhoma, where the ‘roos come hoppin’ down the plain. With poverty, as far as you can see, and casinos on each reserv - a - tion.
Well we know that you’re stuck on that land. And the land that you’re stuck on is bland. And when we saayyyyy, Yeeow! Ayipioeeay! We’re only sayin’ are you sure you’re fine, Oklahoma? You don’t look like you’re OK.🎶
- Comment on megashark literature 5 weeks ago:
My favorite Tolstoy work is Anna Godzilla. It’s about a giant pre-historic lizard who has an intense affair with an imperial Russian count before completely wiping out Saint Petersburg.
- Comment on I just learned 37% of Americans fear vaccinating their dog will cause the dog to develop autism. 😐 1 month ago:
Fluoride
/S
