jubilationtcornpone

@jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mid Career Marine Biology⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  The names’s Bond. James Bond.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mid Career Marine Biology⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  If there’s a “best” assassin, it only stands to reason that there’s also a “worst” assassin.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Me irl⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

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• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This is real⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I served on the board of a Section 8 housing authority for a number of years.

  You would be amazed at the number of people who don’t understand that leases are legally binding contracts and there are actual, enforceable consequences for violating the conditions of it.

  “You guys can’t evict me.”

  “Uhhh, yeah, we can. It just so happens that hording 30 cats in your house and letting them soak every inch of the place with piss is a violation of the terms of your lease.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This is a real post from the official DHS account on X⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s them there liberal talking points from Democrat Jesus.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨When you say you don't like linux on Lemmy⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  MAGA… “Free thinkers.” Lol.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What is up with Gen Alphas love for Austin Powers?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  My Teenager: “That’s gas.”

  Me: “Lol. Ok Nana. What year is it? 1965?”

  Teenager: “What? Nana doesn’t know what ‘gas’ means.”

  Me: “You wanna bet? Ever heard of the Rolling Stones? 🎶Jumping Jack Flash. it’s a gas🎶.”

  Teenager: 😧

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My (incredibly divisive) dessert choice⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Laughs waaaayyyy too hard at his own jokes.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m gonna guess you live in either Bella Vista, Holiday Island, Cherokee Village, or Hot Springs Village.

  I could be wrong but if you have a rock yard in Arkansas, the odds go way up that you live in one of those four places.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A proposal of sorts... Skink about it⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “I reject your offer. Now prepare to die! Wait… where did you go? Goddammit. Oh well.” --Cats (Probably)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨QUACK QUACK QUACK⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Apparently someone of Kenvue Inc. (owner of the Tylenol brand) forgot to pay the bribe.

  Next week it will be some random product that Bayer makes that may or may not be linked to autism.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  You think that’s bad? Allow me to introduce you to rock yards. I’m slowly getting rid of mine but removing several dump truck loads of gravel is hard work.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨*A clean colon is like driving on a country road on a sunny day...*⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Sigh Kids… Always wear PPE. A dirty snowball to the eye is no joke.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨*A clean colon is like driving on a country road on a sunny day...*⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  All we need is a toboggan, a funnel, a couple shots of fireball, safety goggles, and a positive mental attitude.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Not even half a year left ⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  You guys can afford more than two pairs of underwear??

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Good luck!⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I am not even going to attempt to climb those stairs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A conundrum⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Then there’s all the expenses you didn’t know about before you bought the house. If you don’t have at least some DIY skills, you get to pay people a lot of money to fix things for you.

  …BTW, the county just did a reassessment on your property and your property taxes have now doubled. In exchange, you get nothing. Congratulations.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨3 out of 4 is pretty good⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  A little surprising since I’ve heard they’ve not been getting along recently.

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• 3 out of 4 is pretty goodsh.itjust.works ↗
  Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨7⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Someone else will retire me when the time comes.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Absolutely. As long as the boots are made properly and the sole isn’t just glued on. I think a lot of Danner and Redwing boots are resolable.

  I’ve got a pair of Danner’s that I really like.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Someone else will retire me when the time comes.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Timberland boots don’t retire. They constantly slack off at work and quit in a rage when confronted about it.

  …also I’m pretty sure they were smoking crack while driving the service van

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This bacon grease⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That goes in the grease jar in the fridge to make gravy later.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Porca miseria, ma perche!⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  But he ate-a my canolli!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ia Ia!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  TBF, you should have known that can of Natty Lite in the back of the fridge was no good.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨“The Bark Defense: A 99.999% Successful Method for Keeping Emily Safe from Strangers and Garbage Trucks”⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Definitely not. His bark is pathetic like a silly little Pomeranian.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They didn't stop to think if they should⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  And you thought bladder stones were bad.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A love story⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

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• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Someone came and trashed our replacement glass nursery.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Lol that was not the Amazon guy. That was probably a cat that decided your planters were as good a port-a-potty as they were going to get in the moment.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Toot toot⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Your neighbors would probably prefer that you didgeridon’t.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  You also need to know how to “vibe white”.

  Does wielding an absurdly large Starbucks cup and angrily demanding to speak to the manager count?