jubilationtcornpone
@jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
- Comment on megashark literature 11 hours ago:
My favorite Tolstoy work is Anna Godzilla. It’s about a giant pre-historic lizard who has an intense affair with an imperial Russian count before completely wiping out Saint Petersburg.
- Comment on I just learned 37% of Americans fear vaccinating their dog will cause the dog to develop autism. 😐 1 day ago:
Fluoride
/S
- Comment on The most predictable sequel ever filmed 1 day ago:
Me: “Huh. That’s weird. I don’t remember eating corn.”
- Comment on Revelation! 2 days ago:
I spent a week “shoot bagging” seed corn when I was a teenager. It’s kind of like putting condoms on corn stalks. It helps prevent this sort of thing.
- Comment on same shit every day, on god 1 week ago:
Nuclear Powered Steam Locomotives
Pros:
- Looks cool as hell.
- Only needs to be refuled every 25 years.
- It’s a steam locomotive.
- It’s a steam locomotive.
- Did I mention it’s a steam locomotive?
Cons:
- Have to replace the fireman with a nuclear engineer.
- Still have to stop to grease bearings and take on water periodically.
- Hazardous radioactive materials.
Pros clearly outweigh the cons. What are we waiting for?
- Comment on same shit every day, on god 1 week ago:
Where’s the cloud? The cloud has to be involved somehow.
- Comment on Stick 2 weeks ago:
Core memory unlocked.
🎶Stick-to-it-ivity
If you’ve got that stuff called Stick-to-it-ivity
You’re gonna do all right.
Old Man Adversity gonna have his bluff called
Stick-to-it-ivity never lost a fight.🎶 - Comment on Piano man 2 weeks ago:
- Comment on Read it in a southern accent, it'll makes sense 2 weeks ago:
See also: “We ain’t got no soda right now cause the city done put us under a boil order. Somethin’ about a broke water main.”
- Comment on Everyone's got a fetish, I guess. 2 weeks ago:
Tarrantula Hawk Wasp: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair dryer has just been dropped into your bubble bath.
The first time I ever saw one of these it was dragging a paralyzed tarantula back to its nest. That big fucker stopped what it was doing, turned around, and stared at me like it was sizing me up. It then turned back around and continued dragging the tarantula across the ground like, “Oh. It’s just a human. Not an actual threat. No biggie.”
No biggie is right. No way in hell I was getting anywhere close to a 3 inch long wasp.
- Comment on Would you date someone that uses a hammer? 3 weeks ago:
- Comment on so every shitpost sub is going to be swamped by American politics? please can politics be banned 3 weeks ago:
Am American. Our politics are currently one giant shit post.
Also, there are no rules against shit posting about international politics. So,
fireflush away. - Comment on Screw your zodiac sign, tell me.. 3 weeks ago:
#4
I forgot my money even had those dishes.
- Comment on Trump suggests Joe Biden’s prostate cancer diagnosis was a cover-up 3 weeks ago:
“President Trump has the body of a
morbidly obese 80 year old with congestive heart failure27 year old athlete who runs 8 miles per day. The doctors ran more tests because they wanted to know what his secret for longevity is. Turns out it was all that making America great again with nothing but histinybare hands.” - Comment on The existence of billionaires is a policy failure 3 weeks ago:
Richard Branson.
- Comment on Knows more than most scientists… according to one extremely reliable source: themselves 3 weeks ago:
Reminds me of my neighbors complaining some websites had “liberal views” on vaccines.
I didn’t even bother to ask what that meant because the phrase itself was so stupid. I just knew the explanation was going to be even stupider.
- Comment on The car of the guy who insists that you have a terminal case of TDS 4 weeks ago:
“Always Tell the Truth”
Buddy, I have some really disappointing news for you.
- Comment on You can do anything at Zombocom 4 weeks ago:
“Welcome to Zombocom.”
- Comment on I didn't verify the headline. 4 weeks ago:
- Comment on 877-CASH-NOW 4 weeks ago:
Still waiting to get my healthcare “fixed” after 10 years. Any day now…
- Comment on What the democrats just did. 4 weeks ago:
C’mon guys. The Republicans are totally going to fix healthcare just like they promised in
1993,2002,2008,2010,20162017,2020,2024, The Last Week.Shouldn’t take more than about two weeks.
- Comment on Protip: Don't lose count 5 weeks ago:
Pro Tip:
If you ever find yourself in the position of having a pistol shoved in your face and you cannot safely escape, it is possible to disarm your assailant.
Quickly grab the wrist or forearm of the hand holding the weapon with one hand and grab the weapon’s muzzle with your other hand. While directing the weapon away from your body, push down on the muzzle like a lever. Your assailant will not be able to maintain their grip on the weapon. Be prepared for the to discharge because it probably will. If you decide to attempt this maneuver, DO NOT hesitate or you will probably get shot.
- Comment on My impression of the americas (based on nothing but prejudice) 5 weeks ago:
- Comment on Our bad 5 weeks ago:
“In 1804, Richard Trevithick developed the high pressure steam engine, unwhittingly dooming all of humanity.”
- Comment on YouTube TV loses all Disney content 5 weeks ago:
I’m just glad I can still block ads on the cheapest subscription for Disney Plus since I haven’t been able to talk my wife into getting rid of it …yet.
- Comment on [deleted] 1 month ago:
I had a Zune. It was a phenomenal product. It was just priced too high and trying to compete in a market flooded with cheap MP3 players.
I think the video player functionality wasn’t as big a selling point as they thought it would be to the average user since you either had to purchase films from the store …or acquire them in other ways and convert them to a supported file format.
- Comment on It's just a fancy new name for a lobotomy 1 month ago:
I think some ENT’s like to downplay the severity. I was told “we’ll do it on Friday and you’ll be back to work on Monday” which was completely unrealistic.
Recovery time is more like 7-10 days.
- Comment on for future fireflies 1 month ago:
That’s how you know it’s really bad.
- Comment on It's just a fancy new name for a lobotomy 1 month ago:
They didn’t put you under for that?? God Almighty. My septiplasty was brutal but successful so it was worth it for me. At least they had the decency to knowxi me out for it.
- Comment on Marylin Mothroe 1 month ago:
She tried but was thwarted by her incompetent henchmen.
