It sounds like you’d be comfortable in prison. There is probably a Luigi to-do list somewhere you could pick a name from and then arrange to join him in a neighboring cell.
Anon is 33
Submitted 6 days ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/3cb626fc-46af-4c97-bc58-699a8a808176.jpeg
Comments
graycube@lemmy.world 6 days ago
TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Hoenstly, probably better than being homeless. Life in prison as a local hero among inmates for deposing a capitalist.
from_D4rkness@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I was homeless, and also briefly in jail for doing something others had respected; jail sucks and is never preferable, but it certainly made things a lot easier than it would have been had I not entered with respect. On my first day I was receiving gatorades, instant noodles, and muffins from people stopping by my cell. I even was given all the paper and pencils I wanted to do my art.
Homelessness was risky, but I would still choose it over jail with respect. Not to say that the sacrifice wouldn’t be worth it if you did the right thing.
WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
There’s not a lot of overlap in the Venn diagram between the type of person described in this text and someone like Luigi. Remember, Luigi was the Valedictorian of his class. To do what he (possibly) did requires a great deal of knowledge, planning, and skill. You’re talking about someone that allegedly manufactured their own weapon from scratch, tracked down the CEO of a fortune 500 company, plotted for a moment of peak vulnerability, and was able to escape the scene of the crime in a daring and intricately planned escape. Oh, and he also managed to do it all in a way that turned him into a beloved folk hero.
With Luigi’s alleged crime, you’re looking at the work of genuinely skilled and intelligent person. Someone like the guy in this green text isn’t going to be taking down any CEOs or politicians any time soon.
Sergio@slrpnk.net 6 days ago
I know all greentexts are fake, but:
- get a job at local walmart / krogers / etc. Try doing full time but if you can only handle part-time, stick with that
- after doing that for a while (at least 3-4 months, pref. at least a year) go to the local community college and ask about doing a GED (high school diploma)
- take it slow at first. maybe one class at a time. try to work your way up to 3-4 classes, OR 1-2 classes while holding down a job. keep an eye out for a better job.
- once you’re getting toward the end of your GED, talk to your counselor about your career goals.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 days ago
And start walking and counting calories today. Cutting weight can happen later, you start by figuring how much you’re actually eating then slowly reducing it.
And if you start exercising by running while out of shape and obese you’re just going to be too miserable to keep going. So you walk, figure out how much it takes to get exhausted then do it every day you can. I once did 10k steps every day indoors. What was that like? 3 hours of walking in circles. But it was what I could do. From there start trying other things trying to find things that have reasonable impact that aren’t so miserable you won’t do them.
If you have to choose between dieting and exercising, pick exercising. A sedentary lifestyle destroys motivation in all aspects of life. Every other aspect of self improvement is going to take a long time to see real benefit, but it doesn’t take long to get fit enough to notice and it impacts every aspect of your life.
Also numbers are easy to overprioritize. The goal is health. Not some amount you can lift, not some distance you can bike, not a waistline size (though I’ve heard it’s a useful indicator for heart health), not bmi, and not weight. All of those numbers can help you figure out how healthy you might be, but I’ve seen people walk into eating disorders and body dysmorphia over all that and the fact is you don’t need to look like a movie star to be healthy.
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 6 days ago
- Take a 30 minute walk every day regardless of weather.
- Take three months off from video games. The first three weeks will suck. Remind yourself several times a day that this is for something possibly better.
- Don’t linger on your past mistakes beyond a reminder of where you don’t want to be. Buildingg your character is a path filled with wrong turns and mistakes. The best we can do limit the effects of those mistakes based on our setup. … Build character like you would in a rogue like if that’s helpful
- Develop emotional awareness and intelligence. That’s a book and a skill.
- Talk to people with the respect you want to receive.
- Accept the parts of yourself you can’t change. You’re 5’ 3". Stand tall and own your space.
Shittles… I need to do some of this stuff myself. Ha!
ddplf@szmer.info 5 days ago
Build character like you would in a rogue like if that’s helpful
Not gonna lie, developing oneself around instant gratification and easy disponibility to make it easier for the next guy after you is surely a hell of an advice
muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 6 days ago
Anon needs to do some serious fucking work to unfuck his life.
inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Well turning to 4chan for advice is a good first step. I have high hopes for 'em!
idunnololz@lemmy.world 6 days ago
anon needs to start watching anime. If he watched 8 hours of anime per day he can learn social skills from the anime. /s
superkret@feddit.org 6 days ago
Anon needs to become a Mukbang Youtuber.
quant@leminal.space 6 days ago
He’ll turn into another nikocado if that ever happens.
stevedice@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
That sounds like a very severe case of untreated depression. I know anon is 33 but where the fuck were his parents for the first 20 years of their life?
ma1w4re@lemm.ee 6 days ago
The parents were most likely thinking that the problem will resolve itself and it’s just temporary. Speaking as a person that will write this exact greentext in 9 years.
normanwall@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I hope you find something you are interested in
My life would be much easier now and Id be able to buy whatever I wanted if I had applied myself earlier instead of just coasting and partying
LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Honestly? I know nothing about your situation. So maybe this is completely off. In that case, sorry for being But try burger flipping (or shelve packing, or…) at least once. In the worst case, you have a better reason to hate the system now, in the best case, you get some routine. Or, I don’t know, help some people with stuff. Does not even matter what it is. But humans were not meant to do nothing.
insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe 6 days ago
The last 2 lines of the text make it sound like bait if the 6-figure thing wasn’t a joke (otherwise, delusional). Depression likely, if not other health issues that led to this.
I am not quite as bad as the text but for me: parents are doing their own thing (these days, computer time), almost as isolated as I am.
It probably helps that I do tasks for them (mostly sweeping, unloading dishwasher/garbage, carrying firewood etc). Not that I can do much given that I, much like they (who are anti-doctor), have untreated health issues. Seemingly is enough they don’t threaten to kick me out (though maybe they know that I would just leave with no place to go, and likely die).
Also it was unlikely in car-centric areas of the USA as-it-was
but I don’t think there’s hard-working out of this after medicaid is gutted (not that was even an easily accessible path before). Maybe anon can lose 50 pounds, get a hobby, and leave the house a few times a month when the weather is nice… but probably not getting a job/moving out with no help while the government implodes and normal people were already struggling to pay bills.
dev_null@lemmy.ml 6 days ago
The 6-figues line could very well be a joke without the story being untrue.
ToyDork@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Separated from me because I have severe anger issues, which led to Social Services forcibly removing me - not to help me - but to make putting me under what amounted to house arrest at 11 years old to save taxpayer money instead of actually caring about an autistic child by placing me in a group home where I was the only child capable of speech.
When my parents got me back, I was three years behind my peers in tech knowledge that I prioritized re-learning over assoviating with my idiot wigger classfoes. Then I realized I was incapable of handling the stress of university and simply couldn’t go.
I tried a writing career but my only option for a psychiatrist (literally the only psychiatrist within a 1.5 hour drive of my hometown) destroyed my life and online social networking with psychiatric malpractice.
The internet never forgives, I hate you all and hope you’ll die painfully because you already hate me. If you don’t, it’s because our hobbies didn’t overlap in 2017-2024, and thus I have no reason to bother discussing anything with anyone ever again.
nifty@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Dont care if this is fake, just feel like floating an idea in case someone fr is stuck like this.
-
try volunteering with online-only things which don’t require social interaction, like maintaining a code base, maintaining a wiki (on a topic of your choice), doing translation/digitizing or other services for a library.
-
do work via Amazon mechanical Turks or similar services.
-
read about how to self-care for autistic personalities, or people with neurodivergent traits. Just read everything you can find on the topic.
-
volunteer for non-invasive research with universities, like answering psych questions. You’ll get some pocket change. I’d advise against volunteering for clinical stuff where you inject stuff into your body or take pills, it’s too risky.
-
join an online dnd group, or other game group.
-
don’t talk to people about being vulnerable or lonely, unless you can tell the difference between predators who prey on lonely people, and normal people.
-
get a certification in something, whatever you like. Doesn’t have to be programming or coding related. At least start learning for it, and preparing for it in some way. Don’t spend money on training materials till you know what you want for real. If you don’t have money for training materials, do a gofundme.
-
volunteer at your local library, or national parks service to clean up trails.
-
volunteer with your local church or food bank or or homeless shelter.
-
I cannot stress this enough, don’t open to strangers you don’t know/trust unless you’re sure they’re not a predator. Emotionally vulnerable people are like moths to a flame for such people. Read about the signs of narcissistic or cult-like influencer personalities.
And idk what else, but I’ll leave it here. Don’t know if the above would work for everyone, and I am open to corrections
-
haywire7@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Clean yourself up and find a rich spouse?
Win the lottery?
Insurance fraud?
No? I got nothing.
victorz@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Holy hell. Even if it was fake, that was depressing. Even more so if real.
1337@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Of course it’s fake. A loser like this wouldn’t know how many digits is a good salary to begin with.
w3dd1e@lemm.ee 5 days ago
I know someone like this. In fact, I read this and I think it could be him. I don’t know for sure. I would reach out, but I honestly don’t know him well.
He’s good friends with my partner. They went to school together. They play games together over Discord regularly. I’ve only met him once.
victorz@lemmy.world 5 days ago
😐🤷♂️
_____@lemm.ee 6 days ago
I played so many games from 8yo to 22yo that I legit ran out of games to play, I emulated old consoles. I played on good hardware, I played competitive games, single player. at some point after my first year out of highschool I was like damn I’ve rna out of games to play.
I guess it helped that the game industry ran out of juice in the last decade or so and the number of games that interest me plummeted (probably because I’m older also)
tetris11@lemmy.ml 6 days ago
Same. Nothing really seems to grab me anymore. For the past decade or so, I mostly look up last years top N games, filter for the offline ones, pick one I want to play, and then play it for a couple of days straight (with cheats/trainers to jump the grindey parts).
Afterwards, I’m done. Back to normal schedule. See you next year, games.
Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 6 days ago
I genuinely snorted at the “six figure jobs” bit.
Poor chap.
thefluffiest@feddit.nl 6 days ago
OP sounds like THE person to found a tech startup, sell a load of bull, get rich off ephemeral VC money, cozy up to Trump and join the dismantling of the US.
US career advice AD2025. No brain cells necessary
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 6 days ago
Bullshitting seems like a social skill to me…
Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Very much is. Is BSing corpos to get somewhere easier than working for it? Sure. However, you actually need to be good at BSing, you need to know your mark, and you need to be able to make yourself someone those people like. There are not that many people out there really capable of this.
AlexisFR@jlai.lu 6 days ago
And how do you found a start up with no money, genius?
piccolo@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Invest in Gigachad coin and advertise it to elon. Dump it once he pumps it.
subtext@lemmy.world 6 days ago
What is a NEET?
RangerJosey@lemmy.ml 6 days ago
Bro is living the dream.
Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 5 days ago
My brother in law is this guy but doesn’t care about the getting a job part. He plans to kill himself when the second parent dies and I belive him.
ToyDork@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
This is me at 34. Fuck reality, everything ever has been destroyed and I just need an excuse to stand by the railroad tracks until I hear the horn.
meowmeowbeanz@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Speedrunning the NEET questline with 100% completion
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 6 days ago
Manosphere/conspiracy theory podcaster.
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 6 days ago
kaprap@leminal.space 6 days ago
Oh wow interesting site
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Yeah it’s aight.
JS and React are way better documented than ASP dot net otherwise I would recommend learning that because C# and C++ knowledge is generally more useful than javascript.
I also don’t know if FullStackOpen covers multipage sites very well, but it’s easy to convert a site later on anyways.
Other than that 10/10 resource that can really help people like the ones described in the image.
Alpha71@lemmy.world 4 days ago
This DEFINITELY fake. You don’t hold a job, get groceries or buy gas and only go outside 6 times in 15 years.
KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
They don’t drive, why are they getting gas? They said never had a job, how does that equate to going outside? No mention of groceries at all, I’d assume they are mooching those off their parents as well.
Not saying it’s real, but your stated reasons of it being fake are pretty much directly in contradiction to what they claim.
thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 5 days ago
This isn’t terribly far away from being me, except i randomly went to an art school for a couple years. Didn’t exactly pick up many marketable skills there lmfao
Pacattack57@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Being obese and being poor are mutually exclusive.
SpermHowitzer@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
That is wildly incorrect and ignorant.
kandoh@reddthat.com 5 days ago
Obesity is considered low status because it shows you don’t have the resources to eat healthy. The cheapest, quickest foods are highest in fats and sugars.
IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I thought it showed you are too lazy or have poor self restraint or you just don’t care enough.
thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 5 days ago
The nicest way that i can put it is that this has been true for most of human history until industrialization, let’s say that the 50’s is when industrial food starts to make poor people fat.
The less nice way to put it is that this hasn’t been true for 70 years. You are completely clueless to health food and poverty in the 20th century, let alone the 21st. Nowadays, eating nothing but the cheapest food will in fact make you fat.
Pacattack57@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Getting mad about comments on a green text 4chan thread is crazy
1337@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Mutual exclusivity means you can’t be poor and obese at the same time. If you meant they are independent of each other though, that I get.
Pacattack57@lemmy.world 4 days ago
This is a green text thread so my comment isn’t meant to be taken seriously.
w3dd1e@lemm.ee 5 days ago
Not exercising doesn’t mean you’re obese. I know a guy who could be this person. He’s very skinny. He doesn’t exercise but he doesn’t eat much. And he eats the same food every meal.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 4 days ago
I wish I lived this life. Sleeping in your car is awful, but I have been told to be grateful I had a car to sleep in. Low fucking standards…
MooseTheDog@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Life over at (age under 40) get real
jqubed@lemmy.world 6 days ago
High School dropout NEET directly to 6-figure would probably need to involve selling drugs or something, right?
BrundleFly2077@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Obese, awkward, stammering, stumbling INTERNATIONAL ASSASSIN 😎
shades@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 days ago
Q: ¿What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
A: ¡A prostitute can wash their crack and sell it again!
stoy@lemmy.zip 6 days ago
Nah, getting a 6 figure job is easy, just make sure you are born to parents with contacts in the top leaderships of several good companies and who like you enough to give you a do-nothing-job
imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Meh you still need basic social skills. Even for a nepotistic job, you have to be socially aware enough to pretend that you do something. Otherwise the contacts who gave you the job are going to be pissed off about you embarrassing them.
Shortstack@reddthat.com 6 days ago
Let’s be real, anon would be back in his cave within the first week. You don’t go 2 decades of not lifting a finger to being a hard worker no matter what the pay is
rtxn@lemmy.world 6 days ago
That’s more or less what happened to me. I found a factory job where I could spend most of the time operating machines instead of conversing with people. The pay was extremely average, but I ended up becoming one of the most productive workers simply because I liked the job.
That was until the early pandemic supply chain issues caused productivity to implode, the veteran talent left, management doubled in size, so did overtime (well paid as it was), and I decided my health was more important.
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 6 days ago
Drug trade seems ill-advised if you have that little social skills. Where do you get your drugs? How do you avoid getting stabbed etc. by your buyers and the people who sell to you? A lot of these people are aggressive and carry weapons, you really don’t want to be the type who doesn’t have the social awareness to avoid pissing them off accidentally.
RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Maybe Darknet Markets would be an option then. You can’t get stabbed through the screen and trust becomes a matter of cryptography instead of social deduction. But you need some non-trivial computer skills and a healthy dose of paranoia.
Treczoks@lemmy.world 6 days ago
He sounds like he would need luck to even get a four figure salary…
adaveinthelife@lemmy.ca 6 days ago
This is how rig pigs are born.
PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world 5 days ago
After being fat and sedentary for 15 years? Yeah, no. Maybe a trucker if he can manage to stay in training long enough to get his CDL.
subtext@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I mean they’re not hard if you’re willing to go to a trade school and then put in long hours as a welder or something.
I’m getting the feeling though that that will be off the table.
jqubed@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I’m assuming that would still take some time to get to that point, with training and apprenticeship
answersplease77@lemmy.world 6 days ago
two words for you: rig pigs
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 5 days ago
No he’s able to keep up physically if he’s obese and unemployed right after dropping out of highschool …