Why are people so offended over the fact there are some ppl who don’t like phone calls? 🤷♀️ who cares
How did a simple phone call become so problematic?
Submitted 1 day ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
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Comments
uxia@midwest.social 10 hours ago
NoFun4You@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
It’s kinda childish, especially when you need something done now that requires details and understanding with no failure
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 8 hours ago
especially when you need something done now that requires details and understanding with no failure.
That’s about the only reason a call is better and should be scheduled as a meeting If at all possible. If there’s no need to have a back and forth conversation just text or email so I don’t have to disrupt the half dozen other things I’m currently working on to deal with you. As for humanity I spend enough time interacting with people I don’t want to talk to. I’m not hurting for more.
Antiproton@programming.dev 6 hours ago
Nothing you want needs to be done immediately. NOTHING.
Lennny@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
if I have any questions, I can refer to the text instead of calling your ass…I do shit late, want a call at 2am?
ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 7 hours ago
People who are so used to getting everyone to stop what they’re doing get upset when they aren’t the center of attention.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
How? Asynchronous communication is better for a lot of people. And now that we have really good choices for that, it’s hard to ignore.
A phone call demands that you drop everything in that moment and pay close attention to the person on the other end. If they ramble, deviate, breathe heavily, have a lot of background noise, etc, you’re stuck with that experience for the duration. Also, recording without consent is illegal in a lot of places, so you have to be able to write things down in order to refer back to the conversation if it contains any important information.
In contrast, everything else is self-documenting, can be read through multiple times, and can be handled when there is time to focus on that task. As a bonus: most people can read and understand text faster than they can listen. So it’s just more efficient.
AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 12 hours ago
Which is why I’ll never understand people who send recordings. It’s the worst of both worlds.
LotrOrc@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
People who send voice notes piss me off so much.
bluewing@lemm.ee 13 hours ago
I absolutely detest text messaging or emails. You have a problem? Call me because I can probably solve your issue in one minute of phone call. I have been almost always been subjected to texting sessions that lasted for several hours because the dumbass on the other end lacked the spelling and vocab skills to provide an accurate written description of the problem.
Time is money and even sometimes life threatening unless the fastest method of communication is use. And fastest ain’t an email or text.
Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 13 hours ago
Long way to say you’re a slow reader
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 10 hours ago
I firmly disagree, but that’s because for me writing and reading are much easier than verbal communication.
This issue really only comes up when people like you have people like me have to communicate.
This is also why I keep a notebook at work. Without it, spoken exchanges would essentially be a lacuna in a conversation for me.
Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
That thing about there not being a recording is precisely why emails give me mad anxiety and calls do not. Granted, you have to tell/text me to find a time that works for both. Otherwise, I’ll return the call at my convenience. Also, I hate when a task has to be on my mind for several days because there’s back and forth over email because of questions. Makes me anxious as well. Guess what I’m saying is, people have different preferences for different reasons and that’s fine. No reason to argue why you think your preference is objectively superior.
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 7 hours ago
Oh wow that’s so strange. I love emails, because I can reread everything I just said before hitting send. Whereas when I’m having a verbal conversation, I’m never going to say things as clearly/accurately because I feel like I’m just riffing off of the top of my brain pan.
werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
This is precisely why you should never quit via a conversation with HR. You should send HR and your personal email an email detailing your resignation. Same for anything else that is sensitive. I’m fact you should keep record of everything you do for the company via email. It helps you personally because you can show how many good things you did that year. They can’t comeback and say you were Lazy if you can show an email trail showing the exact opposite. Similar in cases of sexual or racial abuse…don’t say anything to the perps…email them describing exactly what they did and cc or bcc your self and HR.
argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
This was a teacher that told me in the 90s. “Phone calls are an invasion. When you call someone you’re saying ‘stop everything you’re doing and talk to me’. This was specially true when Caller ID was not a thing.”
Leaving a message equals to a DM or text. The recipient can respond later, but a call, it must be at that moment. It’s synchronous.
superkret@feddit.org 1 day ago
It infuriates me when I’m talking to someone, their phone rings, and they instantly take the call while I’m still talking. It’s like someone interrupting me and they instantly switch focus to the other person, like what they have to say is more important than me.
And it irritates my friends how I’ll quickly check who it is, then ignore the call while someone is talking to me. “Aren’t you gonna take that?” No, I’m listening to you right now.Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 day ago
And people who use text apps for synchronous communication are holding it wrong. I shouldn’t be expected to respond immediately to a slack message.
Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Your not. They have false expectations and that’s their problem.
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
Leaving a message equals to a DM or text. The recipient can respond later
You’ve never met my wife.
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
I don’t have a problem with phone calls and prefer them for urgent matters, but people need to stop with the preamble and reiterations. Asking me if I have time takes as much time as just telling me what you have to say. I already know you don’t really care if I have a moment because you’ll just say what you want regardless of my answer.
MintyFresh@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Phone calls used to be better when they were analog land lines. The fidelity(idk if that’s the right word, but go ahead and catch my drift) was amazing.
You could hear every breath, every intonation in voice, every shift in body language. I think our subconscious works on stuff like that a lot more than anyone cares to admit. Every phone conversation you’ve had in the past 10 years has been digitally compressed.
The headsets themselves were ergonomic. Easy to use, fit the face and head alot better than the phones we use nowadays.
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 10 hours ago
In a world where async communication is effortless, demanding immediate attention is antisocial.
You’re saying that you don’t care what I’m doing at the moment. You want my full attention immediately. Even leaving a message is more of a time waste than a simple text message
- don’t call unless it’s urgent
- if you’re calling me it’s not urgent
This doesn’t apply to landlines, ofc
nyamlae@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Strong disagree. A phone call isn’t a demand, and doesn’t mean that you don’t care what the other person is doing. It’s a request to talk to them, and can always be declined. Some things are more quickly and easily sorted out by phone call than text.
IzzyJ@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Add, some things are time sensitive; which means yes, I do need your attention immediately
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 7 hours ago
I guess that can be true because my phone is usually on silent, but a message would still be preferable because a missed call in my notifications doesn’t tell me much of anything.
I would also put forward that a request to talk could also take the form of a request to talk, like hey are you free to talk about my part in the xyz project?
PS. I would ask the people who you call if they would prefer a text first. It could be you’re calling people who are like you, but it’s also possible that you’re calling people like me, and they’re too polite to tell you.
ininewcrow@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
And if you really don’t want me to call you or call you back … text or send me a message that says
CALL ME
That is the single most disgusting uninteresting uninformative and ugliest thing that anyone can text me. You can text me a dick pick, ransom demands, blackmail images, racist crap or gore pictures of something and I wouldn’t complain and probably might even respond to you … but if you just text me ‘CALL ME’, I’m blocking your number or contact and never answering anything from you again.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 hours ago
RIP your inbox
ArsonButCute@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 hours ago
Easy:
Between ages 13 and 18 if I received a phone call it was because I was in trouble, so now when I get one there is a pang of guilt and panic over whatever it is I could have possibly done
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 hours ago
The idea of having a phone at 13 seems foreign to me. I wouldn’t have known what to use it felt r, the again smartphones weren’t around yet when I was 13.
ArsonButCute@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 hours ago
I had a flip phone because I was a latchkey kid who walked to school. My parents wanted to be able to contact me and vice versa.
Tiefkuehlkost@feddit.org 10 hours ago
Its my right to be not reachable, outside of work i will take time for your matter when its fitting for me.
And im forgetful and prefer to be able read important information again.
jj4211@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
Easy, back in the day all we had was phone call for instant communication, so not much to compare to.
Also, you didn’t call a person, you called a house or place of work. This meant it was used more sparingly (need to keep the line open/share with the test of the house) and of you were away, then that phone call couldn’t bother you. This also meant people were used to not being able to reach who they wanted to talk to, so of you felt like letting the answering machine get it, no one would think anything of it. You were either on the phone or present in the moment, not trying to talk with a number of people who don’t know each other.
Now everyone has a phone at their hip. You can call someone and if that someone sends it to voicemail, you know they did and it can become a point of drama depending on the circumstance. Now I can be in the middle of text conversations with a half dozen people across half the world and so when my phone unexpectedly rings then I won’t who is this asshole who thinks they deserve my full attention over these other folks, even though the other person has no way of knowing about those conversations. We are expected to juggle concurrent conversations and a phone call derails that.
kerrigan778@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Y’know, I’ve been thinking it’s more than that lately. Yes, all that is true, but I think the younger generations who grew up being terminally connected to everything, always having to have a phone on them, always needing to be able to be reached by people, all their business on social media etc… I think we’ve developed an unspoken respect that when we contact people we let them respond on their own terms. If you text someone you are telling them, hey, I need something but, you can read this when it’s convenient, and you can respond when and in the method that’s convenient to you. When you call someone you are saying, I need something and I need you to deal with it right now over immediate voice chat. Yes, we can say I’m busy therefore I’ll let it go to voicemail, but in this day and age of respectful texting being the norm, we often assume a call out of the blue from a known number IS something important that requires immediate attention.
jj4211@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
This creates a generational disconnect. Like when my phone rings unexpectedly at work, it’s 95% this one colleague in his 70s who is nice enough, but it instinctively feels rude because I feel like I need to answer. From his perspective, if I just don’t answer that’s fine and that’s the etiquette he was used to, try to call and no biggie if it doesn’t connect.
Going the other way, I know someone dealing with a person in their 80s over urgent important stuff and that person just will be utterly unreachable so much of the time. For them, there’s no such thing as “urgent enough to need immediate attention” because that was just not possible for them and society developed around the norm of folks just not being available as much.
Stern@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
I want shit that leaves a record so when someone pulls a “I didn’t say red”, I can pull out the text or DM or whatever, and say, “So when you said red here was it that special red that’s actually blue?”
nyamlae@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Do the people around you do that a lot?
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 hour ago
Sometimes I forget that some people actually make it in life. That they are left so intensely naive from living in a good place, surrounded by good people.
Good for you.
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 7 hours ago
You’d be surprised how often honest disagreements arise from bad recollection. It doesn’t have to be ill-willed: we’ve all had the experience remembering a shared conversation completely differently from the person we had it with.
zhill29@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
9999 Teams
MTK@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
No no, teams is number 2
Because it is only on my work computer that I shutdown when I’m done
CaptPretentious@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
For me I hate phone calls because it’s someone demanding I drop what I’m doing to address whatever they want. Keep in mind, 99% of phone calls I get are at work form co-workers.
The number of “quick calls” that are actually quick I can count on 1 hand, and still have room for more. I have tasks to accomplish, things to do. And I’m spread so thin between all the things I do, there’s a fair chance I’m going to forget something about what you asked/told me. If it’s in text form I can review it when I loop back to it. You need me to check/validate/run something, cool. I have record of what, when, and if I completed it. Just because you have a question does not make it an emergency on my part.
As for my phone phone, the only folks who ever call me are either telemarketers or scams. If a friend called I’d probably answer (if I have the time). But I think most of my friends are in the same boat, we have so much to do these days (non-recreation) that it’s just not easy to find time. A lot of my friends have side-hustles or a second job or are in class (like me) in order to stay competitive. When I was a kid, I remember my parents could unwind at the end of the day, friends would just come over to hang out. It just ain’t like that no more.
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 7 hours ago
Just because you have a question does not make it an emergency on my part.
This is it for me. If someone is an auditory processor, or needs a more nuanced conversation in order to understand something, I sympathize. But not everyone is like that. Just send a quick message asking to chat (or better yet, find time on my calendar if it’s for work), and then I can prepare what I know on the subject, review it, and get back to you.
Otherwise you’re going to get an ear full of ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm uhhhhh hmm hang on, just loooking that upp… click scroll scroll click click scroll scrolllll Right, so silence while I’m reading Right, uh, so Okay It was last Tuesday Was that it?
Sea_pop@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Two words for me. Read. Receipts. I have found that someone will inevitably text me and say, “why didn’t you respond?” Fucker. You texted me. Want me to actually engage with you? Call me. Otherwise you’re now at my mercy.
I prefer calling because it’s easy to silence and just let it go to VM if I am busy. Call back immediately and that’s usually a sign of being needed.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 day ago
One thing that severely degrades the usefulness of the phone network is all the spam calls. It’s all I get these days. I can’t just call someone and have them pick up because nobody answers calls from unknown numbers.
It’s especially frustrating when I’m waiting for a call, like for a delivery, and have to pick up every unknown number.
Mickey7@lemmy.world 1 day ago
excellent point.
sep@lemmy.world 1 day ago
How is spam calls such a problem? Have probably had 2 cold calls the last 10 years. In norway you register on a goverment do-not-cold-call list and basically I have not gotten sales calls since.
Archer@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
How is having a functioning government? I hear it’s wonderful
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 6 hours ago
It’s more of a problem in different countries. Also I find there’s a blitz every now and then and I’ll get 3+ spam calls a day, and then months without any.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Sadly, I live in the USA and do not have a functioning government. We can’t get health care, let alone reliable span call blocking.
knexcar@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
I wouldn’t be surprised if the scammers used my country’s do-not-call list as a list of known live numbers to call. Because no one’s enforcing it and you don’t really know who’s calling with the number is spoofed.
doingthestuff@lemy.lol 14 hours ago
I get about 10-15 spam calls a day, but I do have two business lines forwarded to my personal phone too. If I do answer a call from a number I don’t know because I’m expecting a call, and it turns out to be spam I just hang up immediately.
sqibkw@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Unfortunately I’ve heard the list is not well-enforced, so the do-not-call list functions more as a list of confirmed working numbers with humans on the other end. That’s why I’ve never tried using it…
I get probably 5 spam calls a week so if that keeps growing, I might have to give it a try…
pfr@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
For the workplace, calls are king. If you’re a professional, calling another professional, it’s the easiest and fastest way to exchange information back and forth. Long email chains that take several days to reach their conclusion are inefficient. If you need something done, in the work/business arena, just call. Younger generations are entering the workforce for first time and are scared to make or answer calls. It’s embarrassing.
Sure, outside of work, keep calls to a bare minimum. Family usually text first to arrange a phone call.
People have no back bone anymore. Oh no, I’m getting telemarketing calls… Just hang up.
Delphia@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
Id say 20% of the time at work when someone calls its usually someone trying to do a sketchy end-run around the rules or get access to something they shouldnt have and they dont want it documented that they asked.
Cornelius_Wangenheim@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Sure, but cold calling someone is still a dick move. Professionals have schedules and deadlines. The proper etiquette is to first engage over email or text and ask if they’re free for a call.
teslasaur@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Sure, but cold calling someone is still a dick move
Thats an insane take. Especially for anyone that isn’t slave to the notification storm on a phone.
recarsion@discuss.tchncs.de 19 hours ago
Yeah but why phone calls? Slack or some equivalent is just superior in every way.
DV8@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
Calling with IT professionals is extremely inefficient when discussing technical details where correct settings (ip’s, ports, paths etc) matter. At best a call here is only useful to indicate the urgency of the mail that was sent.
gerryflap@feddit.nl 19 hours ago
For me it’s a few reasons:
- It demands my attention right here, right now
- I don’t know that it’s going to happen, I cannot prepare
- Usually during the call I’m forced to hold the phone, meaning I can’t look stuff up or write stuff down easily
- I fidn listening way harder than reading, and the quality of calls doesn’t help with that
I much prefer text because it give some time to delay answering until it’s convenient for me, look up answers to any questions I may have, and because I can re-read and think about stuff.
Calling is like an interrupt forcing me to drop everything there and then and immediately provide an answer, messaging is something I poll every now and then when I’m not overloaded or focused so I can actually take the time to answer.
Gladaed@feddit.org 18 hours ago
You are perfectly allowed to say not right now, let’s call tomorrow in the evening.
Texts are easy to forget and difficult to write.
Demdaru@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
In what way are they difficult to write?
And saying that is going to piss off a lot of folk. Nope. Best I can do is ignore the call and then send a message “can’t now, will recall”.
teslasaur@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Why would a call necessarily need “an answer”?. If my parents call, it’s because they want to talk like humans do.
If someone calls because they need an answer, perhaps you should answer?
Granted, i’ve noticed that people call for the most basic things nowadays, just cause they can. That’s the real issue, not calls in and of themselves. Its a skill like most other things.
CrowAirbrush@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
I feel attacked on a call, i need a breath of air to process and reply to something.
On a call i feel so forced to reply faster otherwise i can notice people get annoyed. Which often leads to me saying things i didn’t want to.
teslasaur@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Sounds like you need practice. How do you talk to people when you’re not on the phone?
Klear@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
Also text leaves a record behind, so if I forget an important detail from the conversation, I just just look it up.
cley_faye@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Not having to be available at the ready for people is great.
If you arrange for a call, through another asynchronous mechanism, then it’s fine. If you cold-call me to ask about the weather (or, more seriously, anything that could have been a text message), I’ll leave decapitated horse head in your fridge.
HalfSalesman@lemm.ee 8 hours ago
I say this as an autist who used to fucking loathe talking on the phone: Its that the phone takes up too much mental energy and time, yet has a time limit on your own responses. Its hellishly stressful when you are socially incompetent, and now a lot of even non-autistic people are becoming socially incompetent.
Now its funny, I hated phone calls back when everyone loved them. Now I’m pretty OK at them because I worked at a call center for a year and now it seems like everyone now hates phone calls. I kinda recognize that the one nice thing about phone calls is there is no “set up your account before ordering your food” type bullshit. There is a consistency.
pyre@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
I think I’m fairly neurotypical but I don’t like calls either (though I recognize some things are better on a call). for me it’s just that it’s feels unnatural that you’re supposed to be talking to someone just as you would normally but there’s no visual component. it’s awkward. imagine two people in the same room having a conversation but they’re looking at the wall instead of each other.
colourlessidea@sopuli.xyz 8 hours ago
There’s also a faster sense of done-ness with a phone call: the conversation is almost always over at the end of the call, whereas with something like text it can take ages because it’s so spread out.
monolalia@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
That… and my insecurity as to what a sane-and-polite-but-not-overdone phrasing would be fades quicker than when that phrasing has been immortalised through writing. It’s just over sooner (provided you actually manage to get through to someone)
frezik@midwest.social 13 hours ago
In addition to everything else, there’s also a feedback loop of spam calls predominating. The more legit conversation moves to other methods, the more spam calls stick out. That, in turn, means even more people prefer something other than phone calls. It eventually gets to the point where 99% of calls are spam, and that whole method of communication becomes useless.
MutilationWave@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
There are people like me who use voice calls about half the time for work. My number is on my email signature and my emails may get passed around, which I don’t mind. When I arrive to a new work site I give my number to at least one person, more commonly three or four. So if I practice what seems to be common today of not answering numbers I don’t know, I miss critical communication, and waste time hearing a voicemail and calling back.
I’m not saying one or the other is more correct, just that there are different situations to consider.
phoenixz@lemmy.ca 23 hours ago
Why though?
What is so hard about getting a call and talking to someone?
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
I check my texts. I check my email. I check my DM. When I want to.
YOU choose when the call happens.
Gerprimus@feddit.org 19 hours ago
And ignoring the call or turn DND on isn’t an option? No judgement, just curious.
Gork@lemm.ee 1 day ago
I 'member when they used to be called PMs.
I guess they aren’t private anymore.
recarsion@discuss.tchncs.de 19 hours ago
Everybody in the comments claiming it’s social anxiety but I have no problem talking to people face to face or in an internet-based voice or video call. But phone calls are just ass. The audio quality sucks, I barely understand what the other person says and I don’t get to choose when and where it happens, might be one or both people are in some noisy situation etc and it’s just all around so awkward. I also think it’s kinda rude. A message is “Hey I want to exchange X information, reply whenever you want”, a call is “YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION TO ME RIGHT NOW”. It’s also incredibly annoying when some official place insists on phone calls only. Fucking brilliant, now I have to take half an hour of my day queueing and/or calling repeatedly to get done what I would have typed out in half a minute as an email. It’s even worse if it’s them who call you. “You will get a call from us in the next 3 days”. Now I have to be on fucking high alert to be available at that exact time or the back and forth missed calls start. Instead of just receiving an email and replying whenever.
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 15 hours ago
A phone call allows people to hold a conversation. All the others are just correspondence.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
I don’t like phone calls either. But now people are starting to send voice messages. Might just as well call me if you’re going to steal 3 minutes with every message, with info which could have been typed in 5 words. I ignore voice messages, I tell people I do yet they still get angry with “why didn’t you reply, all the messages is only 7 minutes of listening time it’s not that bad”. FFS
Carighan@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
Personally since chat/messages are now ubiquituous, call implies you need my reply/attention/input now, and/or need the vocal tonal part of communication.
If you call, and it’s clear there was neither reason, I’m annoyed. There was no reason to interrupt me, as I’ll assume there’s an emergency or urgent situation and pick up dropping whatever I’m doing.
rumba@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
About the same time that 99% of the incoming voice calls are scammers.
lefixxx@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Because the more serious discussion the more time I want to have to be able to convey myself concisely and prepared. Phone calls can be awkward and reactionary. plus how the fuck have we not yet solved phone audio quality and consistency problems.
Majorllama@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Combination of spam callers being more prevalent and the younger generation has unbelievably high social anxiety as a direct result of them mostly being raised indoors and alone with family.
I’m not saying that the way we older folks grew up was inherently better at all times, but it certainly forced us to converse with strangers and develop those skills.
My little twin brothers and my little sister were actually afraid to call a pizza place and order pizza when they were younger. They still don’t really do phone calls aside from work related things or direct family.
ngn@lemmy.ml 15 hours ago
why there are no dots after the last numbers
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 hours ago
Since I have to give away 99% of my “confidential” information to landleeches to beg for a basement to barely survive in, scammers infest every nook and cranny of the rental market. Does anyone do anything about it? Fuck no!
Every call I get is a scam call. Every single one.
Till you call I guess. Well guess what, the actual people who want to call me aren’t much better then the scammers.
I’m so glad you are living such a good life that you look forward to a phone call. Not everyone has such a privilege.