Submitted 3 months ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/649b41e0-a7f7-4ba4-87b7-38c61b429706.jpeg
One thing that severely degrades the usefulness of the phone network is all the spam calls. It’s all I get these days. I can’t just call someone and have them pick up because nobody answers calls from unknown numbers.
It’s especially frustrating when I’m waiting for a call, like for a delivery, and have to pick up every unknown number.
excellent point.
How is spam calls such a problem? Have probably had 2 cold calls the last 10 years. In norway you register on a goverment do-not-cold-call list and basically I have not gotten sales calls since.
Sadly, I live in the USA and do not have a functioning government. We can’t get health care, let alone reliable span call blocking.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the scammers used my country’s do-not-call list as a list of known live numbers to call. Because no one’s enforcing it and you don’t really know who’s calling with the number is spoofed.
It’s more of a problem in different countries. Also I find there’s a blitz every now and then and I’ll get 3+ spam calls a day, and then months without any.
How is having a functioning government? I hear it’s wonderful
I get about 10-15 spam calls a day, but I do have two business lines forwarded to my personal phone too. If I do answer a call from a number I don’t know because I’m expecting a call, and it turns out to be spam I just hang up immediately.
Unfortunately I’ve heard the list is not well-enforced, so the do-not-call list functions more as a list of confirmed working numbers with humans on the other end. That’s why I’ve never tried using it…
I get probably 5 spam calls a week so if that keeps growing, I might have to give it a try…
How? Asynchronous communication is better for a lot of people. And now that we have really good choices for that, it’s hard to ignore.
A phone call demands that you drop everything in that moment and pay close attention to the person on the other end. If they ramble, deviate, breathe heavily, have a lot of background noise, etc, you’re stuck with that experience for the duration. Also, recording without consent is illegal in a lot of places, so you have to be able to write things down in order to refer back to the conversation if it contains any important information.
In contrast, everything else is self-documenting, can be read through multiple times, and can be handled when there is time to focus on that task. As a bonus: most people can read and understand text faster than they can listen. So it’s just more efficient.
Which is why I’ll never understand people who send recordings. It’s the worst of both worlds.
People who send voice notes piss me off so much.
What if I send you a link to a video message I recorded and posted on YouTube? Also it has ads on it.
I absolutely detest text messaging or emails. You have a problem? Call me because I can probably solve your issue in one minute of phone call. I have been almost always been subjected to texting sessions that lasted for several hours because the dumbass on the other end lacked the spelling and vocab skills to provide an accurate written description of the problem.
Time is money and even sometimes life threatening unless the fastest method of communication is use. And fastest ain’t an email or text.
Long way to say you’re a slow reader
I firmly disagree, but that’s because for me writing and reading are much easier than verbal communication.
This issue really only comes up when people like you have people like me have to communicate.
This is also why I keep a notebook at work. Without it, spoken exchanges would essentially be a lacuna in a conversation for me.
That thing about there not being a recording is precisely why emails give me mad anxiety and calls do not. Granted, you have to tell/text me to find a time that works for both. Otherwise, I’ll return the call at my convenience. Also, I hate when a task has to be on my mind for several days because there’s back and forth over email because of questions. Makes me anxious as well. Guess what I’m saying is, people have different preferences for different reasons and that’s fine. No reason to argue why you think your preference is objectively superior.
Granted, you have to tell/text me to find a time that works for both.
My nightmare: when I ask someone what times they are good for, and they give one specific time on one specific day.
Oh wow that’s so strange. I love emails, because I can reread everything I just said before hitting send. Whereas when I’m having a verbal conversation, I’m never going to say things as clearly/accurately because I feel like I’m just riffing off of the top of my brain pan.
This is precisely why you should never quit via a conversation with HR. You should send HR and your personal email an email detailing your resignation. Same for anything else that is sensitive. I’m fact you should keep record of everything you do for the company via email. It helps you personally because you can show how many good things you did that year. They can’t comeback and say you were Lazy if you can show an email trail showing the exact opposite. Similar in cases of sexual or racial abuse…don’t say anything to the perps…email them describing exactly what they did and cc or bcc your self and HR.
I 'member when they used to be called PMs.
I guess they aren’t private anymore.
For the workplace, calls are king. If you’re a professional, calling another professional, it’s the easiest and fastest way to exchange information back and forth. Long email chains that take several days to reach their conclusion are inefficient. If you need something done, in the work/business arena, just call. Younger generations are entering the workforce for first time and are scared to make or answer calls. It’s embarrassing.
Sure, outside of work, keep calls to a bare minimum. Family usually text first to arrange a phone call.
People have no back bone anymore. Oh no, I’m getting telemarketing calls… Just hang up.
Id say 20% of the time at work when someone calls its usually someone trying to do a sketchy end-run around the rules or get access to something they shouldnt have and they dont want it documented that they asked.
Sometimes it’s better to not put things in writing. I hear what your saying, but some sensitive topics require a personal connection to truely discuss, with tone of voice to help
Sure, but cold calling someone is still a dick move. Professionals have schedules and deadlines. The proper etiquette is to first engage over email or text and ask if they’re free for a call.
Sure, but cold calling someone is still a dick move
Thats an insane take. Especially for anyone that isn’t slave to the notification storm on a phone.
Yeah but why phone calls? Slack or some equivalent is just superior in every way.
I use ms teams for work, and I agree, it’s been a game changer in terms of productivity. But I’ll still call someone in teams of I know they’re at there computer. Camera on an all. It’s about being personal. Building rapport with colleagues and other professionals aids tremendously with productivity and also job satisfaction.
Calling with IT professionals is extremely inefficient when discussing technical details where correct settings (ip’s, ports, paths etc) matter. At best a call here is only useful to indicate the urgency of the mail that was sent.
Why are people so offended over the fact there are some ppl who don’t like phone calls? 🤷♀️ who cares
It’s kinda childish, especially when you need something done now that requires details and understanding with no failure
if I have any questions, I can refer to the text instead of calling your ass…I do shit late, want a call at 2am?
especially when you need something done now that requires details and understanding with no failure.
That’s about the only reason a call is better and should be scheduled as a meeting If at all possible. If there’s no need to have a back and forth conversation just text or email so I don’t have to disrupt the half dozen other things I’m currently working on to deal with you. As for humanity I spend enough time interacting with people I don’t want to talk to. I’m not hurting for more.
Nothing you want needs to be done immediately. NOTHING.
People who are so used to getting everyone to stop what they’re doing get upset when they aren’t the center of attention.
Easy, back in the day all we had was phone call for instant communication, so not much to compare to.
Also, you didn’t call a person, you called a house or place of work. This meant it was used more sparingly (need to keep the line open/share with the test of the house) and of you were away, then that phone call couldn’t bother you. This also meant people were used to not being able to reach who they wanted to talk to, so of you felt like letting the answering machine get it, no one would think anything of it. You were either on the phone or present in the moment, not trying to talk with a number of people who don’t know each other.
Now everyone has a phone at their hip. You can call someone and if that someone sends it to voicemail, you know they did and it can become a point of drama depending on the circumstance. Now I can be in the middle of text conversations with a half dozen people across half the world and so when my phone unexpectedly rings then I won’t who is this asshole who thinks they deserve my full attention over these other folks, even though the other person has no way of knowing about those conversations. We are expected to juggle concurrent conversations and a phone call derails that.
Y’know, I’ve been thinking it’s more than that lately. Yes, all that is true, but I think the younger generations who grew up being terminally connected to everything, always having to have a phone on them, always needing to be able to be reached by people, all their business on social media etc… I think we’ve developed an unspoken respect that when we contact people we let them respond on their own terms. If you text someone you are telling them, hey, I need something but, you can read this when it’s convenient, and you can respond when and in the method that’s convenient to you. When you call someone you are saying, I need something and I need you to deal with it right now over immediate voice chat. Yes, we can say I’m busy therefore I’ll let it go to voicemail, but in this day and age of respectful texting being the norm, we often assume a call out of the blue from a known number IS something important that requires immediate attention.
This creates a generational disconnect. Like when my phone rings unexpectedly at work, it’s 95% this one colleague in his 70s who is nice enough, but it instinctively feels rude because I feel like I need to answer. From his perspective, if I just don’t answer that’s fine and that’s the etiquette he was used to, try to call and no biggie if it doesn’t connect.
Going the other way, I know someone dealing with a person in their 80s over urgent important stuff and that person just will be utterly unreachable so much of the time. For them, there’s no such thing as “urgent enough to need immediate attention” because that was just not possible for them and society developed around the norm of folks just not being available as much.
Why though?
What is so hard about getting a call and talking to someone?
I check my texts. I check my email. I check my DM. When I want to.
YOU choose when the call happens.
And ignoring the call or turn DND on isn’t an option? No judgement, just curious.
Well yeah, because I need to talk to you
People have been doing this without problems for decades, why is it a problem now if it wasn’t 10-20 years ago?
If I’m trying to work on something complicated, it takes 20-30 minutes to remind myself of all the disparate pieces and get into the “zone” of productivity. Your phone call ruins that and I have to start the process over again. If people keep calling or shoulder tapping me, I get nothing done.
That is stuff that people have been doing for decades already.
I’m a developer (amongst other things) and when I’m busy I need 20-30 mins too to get in the stream of thoughts. I simply close the door, puty phone on DND, and I’m off.
Messages are just as distracting as phone calls
It gets easier the more you do it like most things.
Disagree. Part of my job entails calling people (and I even started at a phone helpdesk 20 years ago) and I still despise and loathe calling on the phone with people I don’t know for making appointments or getting quotes. To the point it will probably impact my health since my dentist only takes appointments by phone. (Before my sister in law worked there so I could DM her to ask her directly)
Exposure doesn’t always make it easier.
I agree with that, and maybe that is the problem; I would pickup the home phone at home all the time, that no longer exists. Maybe it’s a “lost art”?
Because it forces you to drop everything out of nowhere, losing all the focus you may have had. And then you might need to hold the phone, you need to find a place where you don’t annoy everyone around you, and so you basically cannot look up anything.
Text is much superior imo, and messages can be answered whenever convenient (depending on urgency). But even people talking in real life are much better than a call. You can see them coming, you keep your hands free and a can usually stay where you are, they’re way better to understand than shitty call quality.
I’ve said this elsewhere but…
First DND is there to stop people from bugging you when you’re busy.
Second, people have been doing this for decades without problems, why is it a problem now?
The “talking to someone” part.
What is the problem with that?
If talking to people is a problem for you then I’d argue that you’re the problem, not obine calls. Not meant in a mean way, just saying that if you’re not able to have a normal conversation with another human being, you maybe want to look into professional mental health support
Depends. Am I trying to get a super quick answer to a super short but urgent question? Or am I trying to haveong form communicationike a pen pal?
For me it’s a few reasons:
I much prefer text because it give some time to delay answering until it’s convenient for me, look up answers to any questions I may have, and because I can re-read and think about stuff.
Calling is like an interrupt forcing me to drop everything there and then and immediately provide an answer, messaging is something I poll every now and then when I’m not overloaded or focused so I can actually take the time to answer.
You are perfectly allowed to say not right now, let’s call tomorrow in the evening.
Texts are easy to forget and difficult to write.
In what way are they difficult to write?
And saying that is going to piss off a lot of folk. Nope. Best I can do is ignore the call and then send a message “can’t now, will recall”.
Texts are easy to forget and difficult to write? Disagree. Texts are easy to remember and can be viewed back at any time. Writing is a bit slower than speaking, but at least it allows you to think about what you’re saying. There’s definitely a place where speaking is preferable, but then it should be in person or via a laptop video/voice call so the quality is better and I can do other stuff.
Why would a call necessarily need “an answer”?. If my parents call, it’s because they want to talk like humans do.
If someone calls because they need an answer, perhaps you should answer?
Granted, i’ve noticed that people call for the most basic things nowadays, just cause they can. That’s the real issue, not calls in and of themselves. Its a skill like most other things.
Most people call me to get some information or to push some information to me. Unless they need the answer now I want a text message of some sort, not a call. I’m okay with people like my parents calling at a predetermined moment to catch up. But most people who want to call me want to do so at a moment when a text message would be hugely preferable, so I don’t answer unless I get a reason (via text) why the call should happen now. In many cases this leads to the conversation going much more efficiently via text and allows me to actually defer it to when I have time or energy for it.
I feel attacked on a call, i need a breath of air to process and reply to something.
On a call i feel so forced to reply faster otherwise i can notice people get annoyed. Which often leads to me saying things i didn’t want to.
Also text leaves a record behind, so if I forget an important detail from the conversation, I just just look it up.
About the same time that 99% of the incoming voice calls are scammers.
In a world where async communication is effortless, demanding immediate attention is antisocial.
You’re saying that you don’t care what I’m doing at the moment. You want my full attention immediately. Even leaving a message is more of a time waste than a simple text message
This doesn’t apply to landlines, ofc
Strong disagree. A phone call isn’t a demand, and doesn’t mean that you don’t care what the other person is doing. It’s a request to talk to them, and can always be declined. Some things are more quickly and easily sorted out by phone call than text.
Easy:
Between ages 13 and 18 if I received a phone call it was because I was in trouble, so now when I get one there is a pang of guilt and panic over whatever it is I could have possibly done
The idea of having a phone at 13 seems foreign to me. I wouldn’t have known what to use it felt r, the again smartphones weren’t around yet when I was 13.
Combination of spam callers being more prevalent and the younger generation has unbelievably high social anxiety as a direct result of them mostly being raised indoors and alone with family.
I’m not saying that the way we older folks grew up was inherently better at all times, but it certainly forced us to converse with strangers and develop those skills.
My little twin brothers and my little sister were actually afraid to call a pizza place and order pizza when they were younger. They still don’t really do phone calls aside from work related things or direct family.
I don’t know why, but I despise phone calls. I’d even rather someone video call me or talk face to face. I just find it worse than every other method of communication.
Voicemail should be lower on that list, I’d rather take a call than check voicemail any day.
Everybody in the comments claiming it’s social anxiety but I have no problem talking to people face to face or in an internet-based voice or video call. But phone calls are just ass. The audio quality sucks, I barely understand what the other person says and I don’t get to choose when and where it happens, might be one or both people are in some noisy situation etc and it’s just all around so awkward. I also think it’s kinda rude. A message is “Hey I want to exchange X information, reply whenever you want”, a call is “YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION TO ME RIGHT NOW”. It’s also incredibly annoying when some official place insists on phone calls only. Fucking brilliant, now I have to take half an hour of my day queueing and/or calling repeatedly to get done what I would have typed out in half a minute as an email. It’s even worse if it’s them who call you. “You will get a call from us in the next 3 days”. Now I have to be on fucking high alert to be available at that exact time or the back and forth missed calls start. Instead of just receiving an email and replying whenever.
Its my right to be not reachable, outside of work i will take time for your matter when its fitting for me.
And im forgetful and prefer to be able read important information again.
And if you really don’t want me to call you or call you back … text or send me a message that says
CALL ME
That is the single most disgusting uninteresting uninformative and ugliest thing that anyone can text me. You can text me a dick pick, ransom demands, blackmail images, racist crap or gore pictures of something and I wouldn’t complain and probably might even respond to you … but if you just text me ‘CALL ME’, I’m blocking your number or contact and never answering anything from you again.
Basically, as soon as other reliable methods became widely adopted. No, I don’t have any phone call related anxiety or whatever, I’ll call someone if I really need to, I would just rather not. I’d much rather get a text that says, “Hey, we’re meeting up at 7pm to go out and do, XYZ, do you want to come?” than a phone call that starts with that and turns to “So anyway, did I tell you my mom blah, blah, blah… And I don’t know what to say, because I kind of want to go, but it would be a lot blah, blah, blah.”
Phone calls with friends and family have a way of spiraling off into tangents when I don’t necessarily have the time to entertain them, but don’t want to be a dick all the time telling people I don’t have time at the moment to listen to them. If there’s a self-service section to a company’s website or app, I can usually do whatever I need faster than it would take me to get through the automated menus and hold music to call and have them do it. Like my pharmacy, if I want to refill a prescription online, I log in, check a box and hit submit. Done. If I call them, I need to go through three menus to get patched through to the pharmacy, tell them what I want, hold for a moment while they help someone in the store, give them my info and wait for them to look it up, etc.
When I plan to meet up with people, I make plenty of time to talk to them and listen to whatever. When I get what I think is going to be a short phone call that devolves into tangents, I don’t necessarily have the time to entertain whether the fact that my friend’s cousin had his toe amputated due to gangrene means he should get the spot on his nipple tested for leprosy, or if he should just improve his personal hygiene and see if it washes off in the shower.
If something really is going to be a pain to communicate via text, schedule that conversation and we can have a call to discuss it, but I’m not answering phone calls whenever somebody calls out of the blue unless I’m interviewing for jobs or expecting a call about some sort of emergency.
I want shit that leaves a record so when someone pulls a “I didn’t say red”, I can pull out the text or DM or whatever, and say, “So when you said red here was it that special red that’s actually blue?”
Since I have to give away 99% of my “confidential” information to landleeches to beg for a basement to barely survive in, scammers infest every nook and cranny of the rental market. Does anyone do anything about it? Fuck no!
Every call I get is a scam call. Every single one.
Till you call I guess. Well guess what, the actual people who want to call me aren’t much better then the scammers.
I’m so glad you are living such a good life that you look forward to a phone call. Not everyone has such a privilege.
Because we don’t have those nice thick hard plastic handles to rest on your shoulder
A phone call allows people to hold a conversation. All the others are just correspondence.
I don’t like phone calls either. But now people are starting to send voice messages. Might just as well call me if you’re going to steal 3 minutes with every message, with info which could have been typed in 5 words. I ignore voice messages, I tell people I do yet they still get angry with “why didn’t you reply, all the messages is only 7 minutes of listening time it’s not that bad”. FFS
Phone calls used to be better when they were analog land lines. The fidelity(idk if that’s the right word, but go ahead and catch my drift) was amazing.
You could hear every breath, every intonation in voice, every shift in body language. I think our subconscious works on stuff like that a lot more than anyone cares to admit. Every phone conversation you’ve had in the past 10 years has been digitally compressed.
The headsets themselves were ergonomic. Easy to use, fit the face and head alot better than the phones we use nowadays.
In addition to everything else, there’s also a feedback loop of spam calls predominating. The more legit conversation moves to other methods, the more spam calls stick out. That, in turn, means even more people prefer something other than phone calls. It eventually gets to the point where 99% of calls are spam, and that whole method of communication becomes useless.
Because the more serious discussion the more time I want to have to be able to convey myself concisely and prepared. Phone calls can be awkward and reactionary. plus how the fuck have we not yet solved phone audio quality and consistency problems.
Because I take no joy in small talk, waste of time. I type basically as fast or even faster than I talk. I can maintaine multiple conversations at once. And I can answer when I want instead of being locked up with one person that gets its way.
Personally since chat/messages are now ubiquituous, call implies you need my reply/attention/input now, and/or need the vocal tonal part of communication.
If you call, and it’s clear there was neither reason, I’m annoyed. There was no reason to interrupt me, as I’ll assume there’s an emergency or urgent situation and pick up dropping whatever I’m doing.
For me, it’s autism.
101 UNSCHEDULED VIDEO CALL
argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 3 months ago
This was a teacher that told me in the 90s. “Phone calls are an invasion. When you call someone you’re saying ‘stop everything you’re doing and talk to me’. This was specially true when Caller ID was not a thing.”
Leaving a message equals to a DM or text. The recipient can respond later, but a call, it must be at that moment. It’s synchronous.
superkret@feddit.org 3 months ago
It infuriates me when I’m talking to someone, their phone rings, and they instantly take the call while I’m still talking. It’s like someone interrupting me and they instantly switch focus to the other person, like what they have to say is more important than me.
And it irritates my friends how I’ll quickly check who it is, then ignore the call while someone is talking to me. “Aren’t you gonna take that?” No, I’m listening to you right now.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 3 months ago
And people who use text apps for synchronous communication are holding it wrong. I shouldn’t be expected to respond immediately to a slack message.
Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 3 months ago
Your not. They have false expectations and that’s their problem.
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 3 months ago
You’ve never met my wife.
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I don’t have a problem with phone calls and prefer them for urgent matters, but people need to stop with the preamble and reiterations. Asking me if I have time takes as much time as just telling me what you have to say. I already know you don’t really care if I have a moment because you’ll just say what you want regardless of my answer.
rekabis@programming.dev 3 months ago
Agreed. There are only three modern/common communications channels which are truly synchronous:
Everything else is asynchronous, and does not necessarily involve an interruption or a disruption of your time - you can get to it when you want to, within polite reason.
And with the fragmentation of our attention due to social media - to say nothing about the broader nature of our modern culture - being able to handle communication asynchronously is becoming very important to people.