[deleted]

Comments

• AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Bro when you pee while shitting and youre not completely soft and you pee out the space between the two parts of the toilet 💀💀💀

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  • Aggravationstation@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    I live in the UK so it’s cold as balls outside a good chunk of the year. Often when I get home from work my dick is so shrivelled it’s practically inverted. No way to aim it. Stand and pee, it goes everywhere. Sit and pee, it goes through the gap between the seat and the porcelain onto the floor or my pants.

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    • Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      You have to give it a little rub before your pee. Mini wank before your pee goes in the tank, rub the willy before getting pissy. Spank the monkey before urine dunky. You know the old stroke and spoke, the fiddle and piddle.

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    • CaptnNMorgan@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      I think this is more honest than “not completely soft” I’m having a hard time imagining a pre chub pointing out but also not hitting the seat

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    • AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      I once had a double stream and one of them flowed right on to my legs

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  • stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    i never expected this to be such a common issue

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  • Ferris@infosec.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    you mean you send it out from under the toilet lid?

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    • pineapplelover@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      I hate when this happens

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  • Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Holy fuck this is the worst thing ever why havent they fixed this flaw in toilet seat design yet

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    • Rentlar@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Actually, you need the cock software update.

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    • n3m37h@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Big ceramics dont want to make new moulds

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  • CaptnNMorgan@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    This only happened when I was a little kid and my penis was so small it rested on top of my balls. I had to push my dick down until puberty

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  • DanglingFury@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Also if it’s cold as shit

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• GoosLife@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Me, looking at my toilet like ???

  Image

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  • BlackPenguins@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    OMG, your dick goes through the plumbing?!

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• starman2112@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Yeah haha I get it haha it sucks having a penis so long that it reaches the water hahaha

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  • kameecoding@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    So relatable am I right? Hahaha

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    • Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Definitely something i experience, hahaha

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• smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  So how do girls drink then??

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  • ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Straw

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    • smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      If I offer them hay is that good enough?

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• ryan213@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  It includes your balls when you’re over 40.

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  • kusivittula@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    my balls reach further than my dong :(

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    • ryan213@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      That’s rough, buddy.

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  • TrickDacy@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    I didn’t get that memo

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  • Sharpiemarker@startrek.website ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    TIL!

    T-minus 4 years until my second puberty.

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• OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  I’ve never had my dick touch the water, but I have had it hit the cold porcelain. That was a surprise.

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  • hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    When that happens in a public toilet Image

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  • MycelialMass@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Aka the witches kiss

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    • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      I’ve always heard that phrase referring to splashback on the butthole

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  • Fades@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    I literally have developed a habit where if I sit down my hand automatically goes down to keep my dick from touching the bowl. Fuck. that.

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    • MenacingPerson@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      touching dick sounds kinda gay… /s

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  • EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    My toilet apparently has a shallow bowl because this happens pretty much every time I sit down, and I’ve never experienced it before moving in. Bad enough experience to replace the toilet imo.

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  • Socsa@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    This is precisely why I won’t ever join the “sit to pee” revolution.

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    • IHateFacelessPorn@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Bro that’s the healthy way. At the ages of 50s it matters very much.

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• Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  [deleted]

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  • soggy_kitty@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Different toilets too, I’m from the UK and the water inside the toilet is a good 12 inches from seat.

    Inb4 comment, ha ha your dick isn’t 12 inches?

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    • Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Im in the uk and my entire dick and balls go fully into the water, around the ubend, down the pipes to the large waste pipe, fill the entire waste pipe and then go all the way to the sewage treatment facility where they have a 9 to 5 cleaning shitty water. They earn more money than i do, and frankly, they are sustaining our life.

      Sometimes, we fight, but then i remember my dick has it harder than i do.

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    • Sigh_Bafanada@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Yeah it’s so weird to me that the US toilet water is so high. I imagine there’s a valid reason for it, but it’s a very foreign concept to me

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    • No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      10 inches diameter. On a cold winter January morning.

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    • Retrograde@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      [deleted]

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    • Enzy@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      IT WAS COLD

      I WAS IN THE POOL

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  • Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Meanwhile, I’m seeing a lot of comments that this isn’t normal and it’s giving me some confidence

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  • stackPeek@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    High-fives you yup same.

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  • TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Can’t do this either, doesn’t take away from my performance in bed, don’t worry about it, brother

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    • olutukko@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Are you sure about that? I bet you havent tried it with a bigger dick /s

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• cosmicrose@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Do not worry brother, your trans sisters know your pain.

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  • Nikki@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    god gave the prettiest girls the biggest dicks

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    • cosmicrose@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      So true queen

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• Zehzin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Why is this toilet half full?

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  • starman2112@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    The European mind cannot comprehend American toilets

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    • Perfide@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Nah, I’m American and the water level should not be that high. That toilets clogged.

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    • stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      are they actually like this? i thought it was just badly drawn

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  • Blyfh@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    C’mon, be more optimistic. It’s actually only half empty!

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• SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Small pp power

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• violetraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Trust me. Some of us girls understand this, tll.

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  • Steak@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    What the Fuck do you mean? Your pussy lips touch the water?

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    • feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Girls, don’t you hate it when you sit down to pee, and your penis touches the toilet bowl?

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  • Eonandahalf@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    But…. How? 😅

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    • Peter1986C@lemmings.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Maybe they meant trans women but I could be mistaken.

      (please don’t shoot me, I mean this well).

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    • Madison420@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      I’ve no personal experience but I imagine if there’s a lot of meat in their sandwich a similar issue could occur.

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    • vsh@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Homophobic?

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• FictionalCrow@yiffit.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  I’m 6’8" and feel attacked. One day I will be rich enough to afford the custom jumbo bathroom

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  • TomAwsm@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    A monster bathroom for your magnum dong?

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• Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Guys, you gotta get your knob between the toilet bowl rim and the toilet seat so its squashed and held in place when you sit down.

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• Sticker@lemy.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  The penis can also touch the cold and wet surface of the toilet bowl without being submerged in water. You do not need to have a large size of your banana to do this.

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• Blackmist@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Grower gang wins again.

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• Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  My dick never hit water, but my balls sometimes do. 🥺

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  • IndiBrony@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    In my mid 30s: can relate 🥲

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    • GBU_28@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Y’all ain’t using your scrote tensioners enough

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• Whisper06@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Only ever happened twice and both times it was because I leaned too far forward and the water was high. Horrible horrible feeling.

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  • RagingRobot@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    It happens to me all the time but only because I have a freakishly long dick

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    • Jax@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Ah, yes of course, me too me too

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    • MenacingPerson@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      That’s so relatable

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• wallmenis@lemmy.one ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Laughs in european toilets. Still pretty annoying though…

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• Evotech@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Fucking hate American toilets like this. So much splashback

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• mechoman444@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Unfortunately I am not endowed well enough for that to occur… Or is it fortunately?

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  • doingthestuff@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Just wait until you’re older and your balls sag that low. And they touch down right after you nuked the bowl with earth shattering diarrhea.

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    • smokin_shinobi@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Gonna need like a sack hammock stretched across the seat if this is real.

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• joyjoy@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Staring at this made me realize toilets use a greedy cup syphon to flush.

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  • thefartographer@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Gotta slurp up them weewees and doodoos

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• mumblerfish@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Ah, finnaly a toilet with no pee back-slash from peeing with too much force. Does it come with hot water. ”UTI"? What do you mean?

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• Toneswirly@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Hate that shit

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• MacNCheezus@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  The struggle is real 😫

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• banneryear1868@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  A solid 6" soft 3.5" and contact with the rim is a problem, it really shouldn’t be at this size I feel. Also I often sit to pee at home cause I got my comfy seat and classy toilet space (Crohn’s things). It’s those super flat restaurant toilets where my balls might come close to the water but I don’t think they’ve ever touched thank god.

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• MenacingPerson@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Not gonna mark that NSFW?

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• Sticker@lemy.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  How do you deal with a problem like the one in the picture?

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• terminhell@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  Gotta let it rest on the seat until it’s time to pee…as a big guy, consumer toilets are just disappointing in almost everything. Commercial commodes are superior.

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• improbablypoopingrn@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  splash

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• fastandcurious@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

  But i thought you had… no banana🍌🚫

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