thefartographer
@thefartographer@lemm.ee
- Comment on pain plant 3 days ago:
Let’s go fight in an epic clash of the immortals! First one to die, loses!
- Comment on pain plant 4 days ago:
I am
- Comment on Remember the good old days? 5 days ago:
Catch my kids standing outside with the molotovs.
I can assure you they were doing no such thing. They were dogsitting for me. And reading white-Jesus books.
- Comment on There are great movies, and then there’s Who Framed Roger Rabbit. 1 week ago:
Nose doesn’t rhyme with walls!
- Comment on Far-left French MEP demands return of the Statue of Liberty as the US no longer stands for its values 1 week ago:
Spraying it with ghost goo and playing '80s pop?
- Comment on Sony launches new version of the best cheap 4K Blu-ray player that drops the streaming tech – but the price looks odd 1 week ago:
I think 1.4 does 4K @30Hz. Anyway, I could have sworn most TVs have the ability to turn off HDR, or at least have picture modes incompatible with HDR. Loophole, baby!
- Comment on Sony launches new version of the best cheap 4K Blu-ray player that drops the streaming tech – but the price looks odd 1 week ago:
Now I’m genuinely curious: what if you get a super-old and cheap HDMI cable? I’m talking like HDMI 1.2 or 1.4. What are the chances that your tv will be able to process whatever resolution video but not receive enough information to interpret HDR?
Or, it’ll likely be more like running gigabit from a cheap router over Cat3 or paired Cat1 where the high frequency generates so much noise on the low-quality unshielded twists of cable that it struggles to assign any standards and you end up with nothing.
- Comment on Starbucks continues to be terrible 1 week ago:
That’s fucking cold
- Comment on wrong again 2 weeks ago:
But at least I still have my freedom, I guess?
Guess again, shit-butt!
- Comment on Classical Meme 3 weeks ago:
FUCK YOU!!!
- Comment on Found these in a cabinet at work. Boss told me to make them disappear. 3 weeks ago:
Which one are you gonna eat first?
- Comment on The science is divided 4 weeks ago:
Oh, I’m gonna make sure you die on that hill!
First, by building you a lovely house on that hill and a nearby Denny’s…
- Comment on Where did Captain Planet go when he flew away? 5 weeks ago:
He does not have genitalia nor a digestive system. While humans have those and experience things such as hunger, horniness, and diarrhea; Captain Planet just itches inside all those areas. Deep inside. Unreachable. An itchiness that starts off dull and tingling, becomes nagging, and eventually crawling and burning.
- Comment on Where did Captain Planet go when he flew away? 5 weeks ago:
His home planet is Earth and his powers are bound to Earth
- Comment on Where did Captain Planet go when he flew away? 5 weeks ago:
He boils off like a salted slug, screaming in agony at the upper atmosphere where his teen pals can’t hear him. Eventually, he evaporates and turns into part of the ozone layer. His consciousness completely ceases to subsist, granting him and Gaia one of the few reprieves from their near-constant agony.
When the Planeteers summon Captain Planet again, the light from each ring forms a 1/5 portion of baby Captain America in Gaia’s photonic uterus. This all takes place in the ultraviolet and ultra-sonic frequencies, but fully experienced by Gaia and Captain Planet. As soon as he begins gestating, Captain Planet achieves full cognisance and all experiences from his past lives from birth to death are forced into his rapidly-expanding brain.
Once the birthing process is complete, Gaia’s connection to her photonic uterus is severed, leaving her feeling empty and mangled. Gaia gives birth and quickly recovers while rapidly teleporting all over the earth so that bad guys who like to loot and plunder cannot discover and take advantage her monetarily distracted state. Captain Planet then descends into the range of visible and audible frequencies, during which he composes himself as to not frighten the Planeteers.
Gaia tries to control the altitude at which this summoning takes place since any humans who unwittingly pass through will receive an instant sunburn, likely leading to cancer, and their bones will shatter.
- Comment on brain blowing orgasms 5 weeks ago:
To prevent decrepit politicians who already had their chance from usurping the resources of the next generation and pulling up the ladder behind them?
You know… Octopus politicians
- Comment on this year has been pretty fun so far 1 month ago:
On the one hand, I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiment. On the other hand, these kids were spared soul-crushing disappointment.
- Comment on I am required to pay taxes to the US government, not elon musk running a fraudulent government agency, why should I pay? 1 month ago:
Because of everyone does the thing with all the might necessary to do it themselves, then together they will do the biggest thing that’s ever been done.
- Comment on [deleted] 1 month ago:
If they call you a fucking princess, they better treat you like a fucking princess. Who invites a princess inside without an already-drawn hot bubble bath, human ottomans, rare cheeses and wines, and a foot massage?
You should probably have your parents execute this friend for their insolence.
- Comment on I liked Star Trek before it got woke. /s 1 month ago:
- Comment on [deleted] 1 month ago:
But we have so much experience! I, too, was once a child for nearly 18 years! /s
- Comment on It's coming 1 month ago:
I’m proud to serve our benevolent leaders
- Comment on If we are going to rename the Gulf wouldn't this be more appropriate 1 month ago:
Gulf of Egg Prices
- Comment on "I know the perfect place for the ESP button! Right in front of the drivers knee!" 1 month ago:
How are vocal sound effects going to help?
- Comment on It's coming 1 month ago:
A mushroom overlord sounds like a fungi
- Comment on As an English language pedant, I find this text message mildly infuriating. 1 month ago:
unstoprestopdestopunredestopantistart - Comment on You wouldn't even need to stop going to work! 1 month ago:
Come on public utilities!
I’m gonna need you to pay my bail
- Comment on Criminal migrant LASHES OUT during ICE arrest: 'F--- Trump!' 1 month ago:
“Criminal migrant,” eh? So fair and balanced…
- Comment on when artists stop being relatable | zaydante [2:26] 1 month ago:
Perfection. No notes
- Comment on moms rule 1 month ago:
Whoops, I’m suddenly bleeding
