Neither one is someone I want to talk to but grey really should’ve just put the phone down and focused on that promising opportunity
Who's in the wrong here?
Submitted 4 days ago by PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/401ff9f6-0e76-4d3d-a7ee-0c8e4587edd0.jpeg
Comments
PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 4 days ago
sheridan@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I don’t think grey actually has another “opportunity”. This feels like a negging tactic to me.
Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 days ago
Green has a decent counter play against being snubbed first, but it surely is a dick move versus just saying “okay, cheers”.
However, we humans do crave drama, and I’ve been entertained, so I think in the grand scheme of things, as a miniature Shakespeare tragic comedy, I will allow for it to be cosmically more good than bad. Perhaps they both learned something. Or it’s all fake ¯_(ツ)_/¯
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Having someone show their red flag this early warrants a “thank god” methinks. Also, “thank the flying spaghetti monster” is more like it.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 3 days ago
I hope they got in such a tizzy over this that it ruined their “plans with someone else” cause they showed up all sour.
Dating culture is so toxic, I’m glad it’s just me and my cat these days…
I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Who’s in the wrong here.
Everyone in this thread who is too stupid to realize this is fake rage bait.
polydactyl@lemmy.world 3 days ago
As is your comment. Rage bait within rage bait. Meta rage bait. Ragebaitception. Ragebaiturducken. I see you.
MadhuGururajan@programming.dev 3 days ago
Have you ever considered that other people are smart enough to realize it’s probably a hypothetical scenario?
therewolftherecastle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
The important thing is that you found a way to appear superior to everyone.
Akasazh@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Greens response could’ve meant (s)he had a busy day at work and was glad to put their feet up. The bluntness met have been unintended.
Grey then exploded and made it a problem, showing that green actually dodged a bullet.
KaChilde@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Counterpoint: Grey’s responses take a solid 30 mins. Green does not bother to clarify what they meant that entire time.
Did green go overboard? Yes. Could grey have communicated at all? Also Yes.
tomi000@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Youre blaming them for not responding for 30min? Im happy when people reply the same day, same goes for me. And Im glad people arent so obsessed with their phones that theyre constantly available.
saimen@feddit.org 2 days ago
Sommehow reminds me of this story:
“A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side. The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman. Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey. The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them. Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?” The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 3 days ago
Mmm the ragebait tastes so good though I feel righteous and angered
zqps@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Although rude, I appreciate when people tell me outright I’m not a priority for them. So I can adjust my own.
But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I hate people now. Nobody wants to keep their commitments. You can invite people to an event and they will all say yes, until a more enticing thing comes along and the flake on you last minute. If you say yes, be there, tell the other person “sorry I already made plans that day” like an adult
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 3 days ago
For me the issue is that everyone is always busy.
Me: hey, how about we meet next Friday
Person1: I can only do Sunday from 17 to 19
Person2: I can only do Saturday
Person3: I can do Sunday but from 19 to 21
Person4: I can only do the Friday after that
Or even better, they take 5 days to reply and in the end say something came up.
But once I manage to find the one date that fits most people and plan something people do show up.
zqps@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Yeah I mean that makes sense, your friends respect prior commitments.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
There was this serbice 10 - 15 years ago: you created a few possibilities, shared it and the shared-to could add where it fits. What was it’s name? And wouldn’t this also work as a local-wifi-only mobile app?
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 3 days ago
I for one will not invite you for anything if I don’t want to do it with you. I also will not accept an invitation to do anything that I don’t want to do with you. I greatly enjoy my own company and have a lot of things I love to do by myself. More people would be happier if they would learn to like themselves and found some hobbies.
SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 days ago
The one who flaked, and then said that there were better options. I’d respond just like the one who luckily got away.
“Hey, I’m so sorry to do this, but, something came up”.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 3 days ago
“Excuse me?!? You’re supposed to be absolutely crushed by me blowing you off! I’m clearly in the right and you should be upset about it.”
Green dodged a bullet.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 days ago
If grey’s other opportunity didn’t work out, they probably would have unashamedly reached out to green again for a new date, if that exchange hadn’t happened.
Non-zero chance they will anyways, especially if grey is a guy.
Though I had a woman get surprised and upset when I declined a 3rd reschedule after she went uncommunicative twice when I asked the “we still on today?”. Apparently she didn’t have a mobile plan or internet at home and had to go to some public WiFi to communicate and both times had shit come up with her kids, though the second time was her son’s birthday party, which isn’t something that generally just pops up on you by surprise. It’s not even punishment, just the emotional rollercoaster before we even had a first date killed any interest in having a good relationship with her, just like that cancelation message in the OP would have.
ColonelSanders@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I must be weird, or maybe it’s because I used to date someone like Grey, but the impression I got about green is not that they said that because they didn’t want to go out anyway, it was that they were glad grey revealed themselves to be uninterested in them even if it was kind of in a sleazeball way, acting like it was just fine to cancel last minute to go be with someone else.
More like green was happy grey pretty much just sent up a red flag and confirmed that they dodged a bullet.
Dozzi92@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Was that not the point we were supposed to take away from this?!
Love your chicken, by the way.
BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 days ago
Grey didn’t value Green’s time, even stated someone better came along. Green responded with shade in response for this lack of respect, Grey had a crash out because her lesser choice had teeth.
titanicx@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
Interesting you feel that was the her. There at no genders stated.
blarth@thelemmy.club 3 days ago
This is an /r/SipsTea male rage bait post, of course the chuds think it’s about them.
KingOfTheCouch@lemmy.ca 3 days ago
I mean, for most of the post they tried not to and a single “her” fell out. Something to consider.
I feel it is an interesting question though. I too assigned genders while reading this the first time so is it naturally ingrained in me? Or is it because of the first person POV of text message exchanges like this?
Are women reading this and assuming the other way around? Would a different format (eg changing the bubbles to other side, or paragraph format like in a novel) change who we think is which gender?
chunes@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I don’t get why people are confused about this.
Grey was horrible human being first. Green’s reply was a response that horribleness. It’s not like green was genuinely waiting to spring that.
…probably.
Kommeavsted@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
The only reason grey is in the won’t is for not giving more notice. Like either cancel earlier or plan your other date on another night in the first place. Calling that “horrible” is a but strong IMO. Definitely rude and inconsiderate but dating is completely unpredictable these days.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Gray does not understand the relief of cancelled plans.
PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.world 3 days ago
“Cancelling plans is like heroin.” -John Mulaney
Pacattack57@lemmy.world 3 days ago
It is literally like being told you can leave work early and still get paid.
tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 3 days ago
I am for having read this. Doubly for commenting,
Klear@quokk.au 3 days ago
Hahaha, sucker!
…
wait, shit
fartographer@lemmy.world 3 days ago
You deserve this
Damn right they deserve to be free from that kind of personality
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Tell me you got banned from reddit and miss it dearly without telling me
BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Woman bad. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
DankDingleberry@lemmy.world 2 days ago
stop posting ragebait this isnt reddit
nightlily@leminal.space 3 days ago
See this is the variety of shitpost where it’s just a shit post.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Most likely, statistically, they’re both shitty people.
texture@lemmy.world 3 days ago
what did green do wrong?
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 days ago
He knows exactly what he did.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafe 3 days ago
Born male.
psycho_driver@lemmy.world 3 days ago
That’s my take.
tomi000@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I mean its 95% fake but it doesnt really make a difference for discussing it as if it was real.
I think it deoends on the relationship between the two and the kind of meeting they had planned. If its a date and grey bailed for an other date, thats really shitty. If it was a casual meetup between friends and grey bailed for a dating opportunity, its not that shitty and green was a bit rude with the follow-up, but again depends on their relationship and how they usually communicate. In any case, the last few messages are completrly overboard.
rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Maybe they were pals and Green was saying “thank god” in a cheerful “yay, you finally got a date, happy for you bruh” manner but the response went right over Grey’s head and led Grey to make a total ass of themself.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Though if that were the case, I’d figure they’d clear that up rather than no reply and posting the screenshot.
tomi000@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Oh I didnt even think of that.
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 3 days ago
Eh, even taking the must charitable view for the canceller, you could also bee charitable to the other one and say that everyone feels relief at cancelled social plans
tomi000@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Hm, not sure I understand what you mean? I dont think its common to feel relieved about cancelled plans. If you dont want to meet, why make plans in the first place?
SunshineJogger@feddit.org 3 days ago
That’s the best answer he gave. Based on the limited, implication based knowledge we have of this conversation we don’t even know is real or staged.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Of course it’s real, there’s literally a photo. The day we can fake things like that will be a dark day indeed.
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Also green could have meant “thank god you found someone good luck”
OrgunDonor@lemmy.world 3 days ago
The Lmao negates this. This is definitely a thank god I don’t have to go on a date with you.
texture@lemmy.world 3 days ago
“thank god i didnt waste my time going on a date with someone who would treat me like this lmao”
seems totally reasonable to me
blarth@thelemmy.club 3 days ago
Can all of you just stop reacting to stupid rage bait please?
qualia@lemmy.world 2 days ago
OP, for posting drama bait. Woof.
Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Both half wrong imo. I’m relatively new to the whole dating and multi dating thing but what I’ve come up with is:
Never ghost if you’ve made plans or texted a lot off app (so points to other person for actually cancelling)
Don’t rub it in people’s face that you’re seeing other people but be honest if asked (negative points to other person)
Accept rejection gracefully with no hard feelings. I got ghosted recently and struggled with this one but stayed strong.
Any tips appreciated though because it can be tough out there.
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
I really don’t think teal did anything wrong, in fact I think it would have been wrong to keep it to themself.
Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Fair enough. I’d have gone with a more generic message like “something came up.” instead of “sorry you were my backup option but you are no longer needed for tonight.”
blarghly@lemmy.world 3 days ago
The impression I get is that teal and grey have been hooking up casually for a while and have been open in their discussions about actively looking for other people. Teal’s “thank god” is a call back to grey’s consistent difficulty finding s suitible partner or complaints about being unable to find one. Grey then responds with faux outrage.
I’ve had these sorts of message back and forth with fwbs before, but even meaner. They’re hilarious
KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 days ago
Fake outrage isn’t spread out over a half hour…
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 3 days ago
Nice fanfic, but next time stick to the prompt
Slayan@lemmy.ca 3 days ago
Grey is faking outrage to get out of the situation
timestatic@feddit.org 3 days ago
Assuming this is not made up obviously grey is in the wrong
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Could’ve been, “Thank God, you found a promising opportunity. Hope it goes well”.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 3 days ago
No, he said Lmao. She dumped him after he lost his. job.
captcha@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz 3 days ago
Did they lose their. job. though?
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 days ago
Lmao, the other person for sure. There’s no reason to lose your shit like that
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
We can’t know for certain based on one single conversation. We don’t know the dynamic between these two. We don’t know the intent behind the “thank god” comment. We don’t know if the response was an overreaction, something that’s been building between these two, or what.
It wouldn’t be smart to make a judgement in this case because we lack full context.
Snowclone@lemmy.world 3 days ago
teal really proved living well is the best revenge.