Mom with the real questions

Comments

• sausager@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  “Better hang on to it just in case” ~boomers

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  • CaptDust@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My parents rented a storage unit when my grandma passed because no one had room for her nice furniture. And it is nice furniture very well built - but no one is ever going to have the space. Let it goo.

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    • RBWells@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I like those big cabinets in place of kitchen cabinets. Glass front makes everything look better, I don’t put curios in them. Plates, glasses, bottles, booze, whatever goes in them ends up looking good.

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  • lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If it was something nice, they weren’t wrong. Everything manufactured today is fucking garbage.

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    • Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You can get good furniture, it’s just really expensive.

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    • slaacaa@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You need to look at the positive: this way they make more profit for the megacorporations manufacturing and selling them.

      Tap for spoiler

      /s

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    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If it was nice, they would be keeping it for themselves

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  • NotSteve_@piefed.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s probably an easier decision to make when you were born early enough to own a big house

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• Canopyflyer@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  A few years ago my wife and I decided to finish the basement. The first step was to clean it out, which involved going through all the junk that I had inherited from various family members. My mom always asserted that all of it was very valuable and CONSTANTLY checked that I still had it all and was taking good care of it.

  I went through each item one by one and looked them up. Dishes, nick knacks, all of it. It took me hours. The highest value item was maybe $10. Several large and heavy boxes that I had been obligated to haul around to all of the places I lived for the last 30 years, as my mother constantly asked me about them. It was all worth maybe $100, if I made the effort to attempt to sell it. Which would have taken a lot of time as we’re talking dozens of fragile things. It just was not worth it.

  I shoved it all into the trunk of my car and took it to the dump. My Mom died in 2011, so she wasn’t around to check up on all that crap.

  God damn I was so pissed. 30 fucking years of hauling that worthless junk around probably cost far more than it was worth. My mother was so insistent that I even had it sitting around taking up space in my basement 12 years after her death. Just another one of her little power plays.

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  • hazeebabee@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Glad you freed yourself from all the stuff. I had a similar experience clearing out my grandma’s hoarded house.

    I am curious though, why take it to the dump instead of donating it to a thrift store?

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    • Canopyflyer@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Spite.

      Honestly, it was all junk.

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  • limelight79@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’ve read that a lot of that “valuable” china really isn’t - some of it may have been at one point, but the younger generations just aren’t interested, so the market has just dropped out.

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    • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Oh yeah none of it matters, gramma’s china is mass manufactured catalog crap.

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  • Tabula_stercore@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Good on you.

    Just as advice for next time; bring it to a secondhand/thrift shop.

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    • Canopyflyer@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Honestly, I just wanted that junk out of my house and my life. These were several very large and heavy boxes that I had been obliged to haul around for nearly 30 years, all because my mother was playing one of her power games over me. My mother was so far up Cluster B that they probably should add a letter.

      I did not want to shackle anyone else with it, because who would have bought it? Other assholes to keep around till they foist it off on their kids or some other unsuspecting schmuck. It was all mass produced garbage. The “China” dishes that were supposed to be “fine” were listed on Ebay and a couple of other sites for $1 each. My mother insisted they were extremely expensive and sought after. I never used them because I was afraid of breaking them. The crash they made when I flung the box into the dumpster was cathartic and healing.

      So while it might have been a bit of a waste, it wasn’t as much of a waste as you might think and nobody needs it.

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  • Starski@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Watch, there was actually a hidden fortune stuffed somewhere in there

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    • Canopyflyer@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      LOL. That would be funny.

      But no, my wife and I went through every piece, opened all the lids. No fortune.

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    • ChexMax@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      There’s always money in the banana stand

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  • BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Yeah, I feel a lot of the boomer generation has a hoarding problem despite so many not being in a situation to need to. I would have taken it to a thrift store though regardless. Even if they don’t sell it someone of the staff may make use of it. That said, good on getting rid of a burden on your life mentally.

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    • fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I wonder what caused it? was it stuff all of a sudden becoming cheaper than places to put it? was it wisdom passed down from parents who experienced the great depression. an ideological commitment to assigning moral worth to wealth and by extension material possessions?

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  • nomorebillboards@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Luckily this is less of an issue in the future with “Ikea” or whatever

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    • fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      it’s furniture adapted to the different needs we have. little space, frequent moving. cheap furniture that only has to last until the next change in space usage renders it obsolete

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    • fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      it’s furniture adapted to the different needs we have. little space, frequent moving. cheap furniture that only has to last until the next change in space usage renders it obsolete

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  • skisnow@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Never met her but there’s a chance she might genuinely not have known.

    My grandparents and great-grandparents thought a lot of family stuff was worth something but they never actually got it professionally valued. One thing that really stuck out was an ornate silver tea set that looked really nice, was in great condition, was a complete set, hallmarked, turned out to be worth fuck all because nobody actually wants silver tea sets in the 21st century, but they were a big thing a hundred years ago so there’s millions of them out there flooding the market.

    There was also a minor hoo-hah over inheritance of the family piano, which then turned out to be a mass-produced budget model that was no longer physically able to be tuned to concert pitch without risk of damage. Turns out budget pianos don’t become antique, they just become old and you have to pay someone to take it away.

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    • Canopyflyer@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You’re probably correct… For most people’s mothers. No, I know mine and I’m positive it was a power play on her part. The reason why I say that is because when she died, my brothers, Dad and I went through her things and guess what we found?

      If you guessed items that actually had value, either sentimentally or financially you’d get a prize.

      So she purposely separated anything of value from the junk. Then gave the junk to me and my brothers. My brothers also went through their items and sure enough it was all junk. Of course the apples don’t fall too far from the tree. So when our Dad died two years ago my two brothers kept everything. We are all now permanently estranged as far as I’m concerned.

      So yeah, I had a fun family growing up. My wife and kids are now fully protected and will never see those people again.

      But just to be clear, my family is not rich. I’m not talking about enough money to make dealing with narcissistic power plays worth it.

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• Janx@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  They inherited the poverty mentality of “hang on to it just in case” while failing to give the “I should pay my fair share so the next generation can survive” one…

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  • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    So fucking spot on that it’s kind of unbelievable that I’d never thought about this before

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• DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I have a big bread baker’s Hoosier cabinet in my kitchen. I’m not a baker, I’ve never had any use for it.

  Very similar to this one, with a flour sifter, and slide-out porcelain steel table:

  Image

  My older sister shipped it to me without asking me, and then told me it was coming about two days before it arrived. Our mom had just died, and my sister didn’t have room for it, but she “wanted it to stay in the family.”

  It is a beautiful piece, solid oak, probably over 100 years old. So, I kept it. It just sits there, taking up space in my barely-big-enough kitchen. I expect when I die, my only son will sell it. I should probably just sell it now, my sister would hate me for it, though.

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  • marighost@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You should ship it back to your sister without telling her.

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  • can@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I should probably just sell it now, my sister would hate me for it, though.

    I’m sure you could give her a discounted rate

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  • curbstickle@anarchist.nexus ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Now that’s the kind of thing my wife would love to have. Maybe at some point we’ll take away someone else’s space occupier.

    We’ve got a few pieces of furniture, the one in really not looking forward to is the musical instruments. We’re talking full grand piano, player piano, pneumatic uprights, etc. They are huge. There is no way my wife won’t want at least one, and I’m probably the only one who knows how to do the maintenance despite it being her parents stuff and she has a few siblings.

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    • dondelelcaro@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You probably already know this, but there is a collectors market for player pianos and other automated musical instruments. See AMICA in the US. (Not sure about non automated ones; heavily depends on the instrument.)

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  • Drusas@fedia.io ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You could use it for something other than baking? That is a nice piece of furniture.

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  • alienzx@feddit.nl ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’ll take it

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  • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I get it, family and all, but “wanted it to stay in the family" is a silly reason to inconvenience someone else.

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  • TheBat@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If I was in your place I’d put that cabinet in the living room lmao.

    Maybe use the middle compartment as display for Lego and action figures.

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  • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Dude, sell it. Someone else WILL want it and use it. You want money. And your sister will get over it.

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  • thisorthatorwhatever@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Maybe buy a small log cabin in the middle of nowhere. realtor.com/…/867-Lippert-Hollow-Rd_Allegany_NY_1… realtor.com/…/489-Martha-Ave_Olean_NY_14760_M4650… and fill it up with everything.

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• SethTaylor@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I am currently living in my great-grandparents’ house. Every room is tiny and filled with stuff three generations of my family kept. I have four tiny rooms and my whole life is stuffed into 3/4 of one cause they refuse to part with anything.

  I guess what I’m really asking is… could you use my grandma’s antique dining table in your studio apartment?

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  • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My grandmother’s house. I have two sewing machines, a 6-place dining set, fine china to serve 8, two sewing machines, several rickety old pillar tables and candle stands, a cabinet full of random glassware, a drawer full of ratty, yellowed old doilies my father “remembers from when I was a kid.” So much shit my father wants, but won’t move into his own heavily cluttered house.

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  • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Boomers hoard.

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    • lesley@hilariouschaos.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Hey hello how are you doing 

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  • lesley@hilariouschaos.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Hello 

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• drcobaltjedi@programming.dev ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Years ago in collage my mom tried to dump her old CRT TV on me with a roku.

  “we’re leaving this tv with you”

  “I don’t want it, if you leave it here I am throwing it out”

  “Oh son you could use it to watch netflix”

  “or mom i could watch netflix on my phone, my smart tv, my xbox one, my xbox 360, my ps3, my computer, my other computer, my other other computer all of which would be in high resolution. If you leave that here I am putting it where it belongs, in the trash”

  This is a shortened version of the conversation that went on far too long with me getting more and more annoyed with being given garbage.

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  • Turret3857@infosec.pub ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I would take a CRT in a heartbeat. It makes watching 4:3 content feel right, especially older Star Treks.

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    • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Allegedly it is good with vintage video games (e.g. NES). The weird idiosyncracies of CRTs were accounted for when developing the games.

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    • xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah, CRT’s are awesome in the right hands, not for watching Netflix

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  • llama@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    They’re obsessed with this idea that people they perceive to be lower on the social hierarchy than them can somehow always have a use for their old stuff. As if using their old stuff is part of the process to become successful like them.

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    • fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      stuff used to be more expensive relative to wages, especially electronics. our parent’s generation were from a time where a TV cost 3 months rent. now a month of rent is 3 TVs. this also accounts for “you’re poor but you have an iPhone” discourse

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  • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It is chock full of yummy copper though!

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• pseudo@jlai.lu ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  The table are never the issue. The problem are the impratical heavy and bulky chairs. I could put the table against a wall and use it as a countertop move it to the center once in a blue moon when I receive lots of people. But what should a do with chair to feel up a room.

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  • Gerudo@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I did this. The only thing I took from my grandparents when we had to sell was the dining table. Too many memories to let go, and it’s solid wood. Its a 4 seat table but expands to 6 if needed. Perfect size. Fuck those matching chairs though. Solid wood too, but my god, they are so bulky, heavy, ugly and uncomfortable. We went and got cheap, modern chairs instead, and it actually worked out really well.

    My inlaws have a GIANT 10/12 person table with matching high back solid wood chairs that they beg for the family to take when they are gone. None of us will have space for it and will see it more than likely donated/dumped.

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  • Don_alForno@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Chairs are fucking expensive though. It’s always like “oh, this table is only 300” “yeah, but the matching chairs are 120 each”

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    • pseudo@jlai.lu ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah and most of them are bad. So many people have matching chairs but such chair are too heavy to put easy in a place when you’ll sit confortably and they will fall over easily from lack of balance. The antique ones are balanced at least.

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  • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I am looking to replace my dining room chairs, and I just can’t find any that I actually like. It’s as if the general design of dining room chairs is unappealing. I’ve considered getting some comfy office chairs.

    It should be noted that I use my dining room for tabletop gaming almost as much as actual dining.

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• Delphia@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  A friend of mine lost his 4 generations old family home in some bushfires about 10 years ago. He will never admit it to his extended family but he says it was a blessing.

  His house was full of shit that as nice as it was and the sentimental value of the huge dining table that great grandad built with the tree that got brought down in the storm in the top paddock in 32 was real. He felt like he couldnt change anything, couldnt sell anything and was stuck living in his grandparents house.

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  • explodicle@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Perk of being in a big Irish family: when someone dies we all descend like vultures and I get like, a nice hat.

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• Markus29@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  If it’s solid oak you bet your ass I’ll take it. I’ll never tell you that I’ll scrap it for parts though. New wood is expensive and planing and joining wood is a pain, cutting some cabinet doors from a table is way easier.

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  • bobzer@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Those would be some thick ass cabinet doors.

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    • TheOakTree@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not if you do an ungodly amount of sanding!

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• udon@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Everybody out here complaining that their apartment is not big enough to fit this in but… do you even have 11 friends?

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• vogi@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I really don’t like how it’s so common nowadays for furniture to not even outlive one person. It became fashion thanks to IKEA. Fuck IKEA.

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• Blackmist@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This type of shit is why we have a 1980s cot in the attic. We have no children. We have no plans of having children. We have stated multiple times that we don’t want children.

  Yet there it is anyway, covered in nicotine stains, until mother in law carks it, and the wife can finally be satisfied that she’s not going to visit for a random inspection.

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• Tenderizer78@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I’ll take it to use as a computer desk.

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• BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  My wife’s parents have a ton of antique furniture. They’ve given us some stuff, it is out in the garage now. They see our furniture, it is more modern. My mother in law has been pouty, “oh, I guess we need to sell all this before we die! You aren’t going to want any of this.” Thank you, yes. That is exactly what I want. I know that was supposed to be a guilt trip, but that is exactly what we want. Lol

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• hsr@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  If a landlord can split a 100m2 apartment into five 20m2 studios, she needs to cut up the table and make 5 leaner, easier to implement, 2.4 person tables. Embrace the hustle grindset, mom.

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• 13igTyme@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  My grandparents had a table that could seat 24. It was insanely big, but made for some nice holiday memories.

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• CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  They’re lovely pieces of furniture and yes absolutely better than IKEA fingerboard but there’s no way I can fit a 2.5m2 table into my 100m2 house.

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• mech@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  In this economy, I’ll need it for firewood soon.

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• M0oP0o@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Mom is in the same boat, that is why she is asking!

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• FranciscoLopez@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Classic mom logic: ‘It’s an heirloom, it’ll fit.’ 😅 Honestly though, the table deserves a dining room… and your studio deserves to keep having floor space.

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• driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I was raised by my grandma but over to another country, she died and my dad and aunts got the house I grew up and everything. I never expected to inheritance anything anyway so it’s was no problem. When I came back for Christmas I joke that I did get anything, not even a bag of her ash. One of my aunts were like aww, is true, let me find something from here that you could take home and came back with a fucking 12 tomes British enciclopedia. I laughed my ass off and told her that she was crazy if she tough I was going to travel back with something I already have in my phone.

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• lepinkainen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  My grandma was the last one to go of all her sisters.

  Her apartment had EIGHT full coffee sets, cups, plates, saucers, sugar dishes etc. just because she inherited them from her siblings and thought we’d want them

  Nobody wants any of them, they’re old and pretty and also worth exactly zero euros.

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• SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  How many sets of china would you like?

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• Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Well, it might be enough wood to make a hoovel to live in that fits all the 2 m^2^ of land a young person can afford nowadays.

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• Mr_Fish@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  My parents have a shed with all the shit that they have amassed over the years. Somehow my moonboot from 2016-17 ended up there, and I think it’s still there to this day. Along with other random things like a slide projector.

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• OozingPositron@feddit.cl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  My grandma’s table can only fit 6 people but it can extend (as seamlessly as moving wood pieces can be) to fit 8, it’s the only shape shifting table I’ve seen.

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• nexguy@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Sounds like they get to turn a studio into a loft for free.

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• Rooty@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Slaps tabletop This baby can hold so much wargaming terrain

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• smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  It won’t fit between the hutch, buffet, and five corner cabinets.

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• Aljernon@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  “I spent a life time making professional and political decisions that robbed the younger generations of the same prosperity I enjoyed and just can’t wrap my head around the fact that they can’t physically fit huge heirloom furniture into their tiny living accommodations”

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