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Piss Post

⁨749⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨balderdash9@lemmy.zip⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/91617d56-dcb3-424f-80b1-b2e4fe9261d5.webp

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Comments

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  • hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Shitting while pissing is ok, as long as you’re sitting pissing

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    • javiwhite@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I imagine it would take a great deal of both mental and physical fortitude in order to curl one out whilst standing tall.

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      • ThePantser@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Or Rotavirus

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      • angrystego@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Remember some people need fortitude to shit, some need fortitude not to.

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      • ZeffSyde@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        You never see someone taking a shit while running at full speed. -George Carlin

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    • errer@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s more a surprise than anything

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  • rustyfish@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Soon or later this will be you:

    Image

    Now we can all laugh about it. So we can long after. But in that moment? You will learn what pure dread feels like.

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    • chuckleslord@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Happened on my 30th birthday, after all the festivities. Felt appropriate

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    • GoodMonson@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      God I hope someone reads your comment, laughs and accidentally shits and lives the very moment you are describing. Just staring at the face they are now making.

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  • dgbbad@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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    • not_IO@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      pissing while pissing Image

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  • Zamboni_Driver@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I love that someone took time out of their day to carefully plan and prepare this chart.

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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  • Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    According to this, always be shitting and you’ll never have a bad time.

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    • TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      A-B-S. A-always, B-be, S-shitting. Always be shitting! Always be shitting!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention – do I have your attention? Interest – are you interested? I know you are because it’s shit or walk. You shit or you hit the bricks! Decision – have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the turtlehead comin’ out; you think they came out to take a look around? Guy doesn’t sit on the toilet unless he wants to shit. Sitting there waiting to deliver the goods! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to Moss) What’s the problem pal?

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      • klugerama@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        PUT…THE TP…DOWN! TP is for SHITTERS.

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      • reptar@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Oh my God, is this a script except? I honestly thought you might be insane until the “(to miss)”

        Always be shitting does sound familiar…

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    • Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Unless you do it while farting😧

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  • OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This chick loooves pissing

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  • IWW4@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The real terror begins when vomiting enters the chat.

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    • NikkiDimes@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I was sick when I was like 9 while sitting on the toilet. The sink was too far away, there was no trash can in sight, and the toilet was in use by my ass. I threw up half digested Chef Boyardee ravioli on the floor on the floor :(

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      • IWW4@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        BRUTAL!

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    • BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You rip the bag out of the trashcan and youre good to go. Been there many times.

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  • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Now add rows and columns for:

    • cumming
    • vomiting
    • bleeding
    • menstruating
    • dying
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    • ThunderComplex@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      No, add these as new dimensions and make it a matrix so we can have pissing while shitting while cumming while dying

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      • frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        The hypercube of gross.

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      • Samsy@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Elvis-Mode?

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    • Chiarottide@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      And sneezing. Have you ever sneeze-sharted? Worst feeling ever

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      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        sheezing

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  • Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Quality shitpost

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    • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I think it’s more of a pisstake

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  • pipe01@programming.dev ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Farting while pissing is cool though

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    • IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      you can see the autistic vibrations in the pee stream

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      • A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        the wat

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      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        the autism leaving my body as i take a piss

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  • RagnarokOnline@programming.dev ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Had me cackling

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    • Duranie@leminal.space ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Scrolling during an in person meeting. My God this one tested me 🤣.

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  • Oaksey@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I once did a piss, fart and sneeze at the same time. Got sort of like a really pleasant shiver.

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    • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Your body took a screenshot

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  • acockworkorange@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Farting while pissing is awesome.

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    • LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Brother you’ve got my upvote

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    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      why not all 3, pooping farting and pissing.

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      • acockworkorange@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Just not as satisfying, especially while standing.

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  • TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Why is pissing while pissing more happy than shitting while shitting or farting while farting.

    Wait… I get it now.

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    • Pacattack57@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I don’t please explain

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      • SPRUNT@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        If your intent in the bathroom is the left label, the face is the one you make when the top label happens.

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      • TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Oh… Don’t worry about it. Its just me taking the piss.

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  • stevedice@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Sitting to pee instantly solves half of these

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    • jsomae@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      are you imagining this woman pees standing up…?

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      • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I am now.

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    • qarbone@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This chart is for sitting to pee.

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      • stevedice@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Then I don’t see the problem in shitting during peeing.

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  • rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My version of this would have the smiley face in every square.

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    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      it’s all smiles so long as you’re sitting on the toilet, anything involving shitting is never smiles if you’re not on the toilet

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      • rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Excellent point!

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  • SassyRamen@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Wait until you get food poisoning 🫠 hopefully you have a tub beside your toilet.

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    • D_C@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Oh man, I used to get gastroenteritis every few weeks before I found out what was causing it.
      Gastro was horrible. When the astonishingly painful cramps hit you you didn’t know which way the ‘projectiles’ were evacuating from until the very last second.

      Unfortunately the toilet in my house at that time was in a separate room as the sink and bath. Which meant if I needed to throw up I’d either have to do it in the horrible diarrhea covered toilet or just throw up on the floor.
      Decisions decisions.
      On the really bad episodes I would just sit in the bath for hours on end so I could turn the shower on to wash the puke and/or shit away.

      Fortunately I haven’t had an episode in twenty years now.

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      • burgermeister@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        What was causing it?

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  • socsa@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I can fix her

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    • sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      There literally nothing to fix

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      • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Babe, everytime I fart, I piss and shit myself.

        “There’s literally nothing wrong with that.”

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  • Pacattack57@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I have never before seen such a perfect chart

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