Men are finally leaving women alone? I never thought I would see this day!
Anon is worried about men
Submitted 2 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/f5f25e71-0ce3-4f54-bfd1-e2dd835be8e6.jpeg
Comments
missandry351@lemmings.world 1 month ago
ConstantPain@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Yes, and now a lot of them are complaining that men are not chasing anymore…
JayDee@lemmy.sdf.org 1 month ago
Probably many women are now complaining because they didn’t have to approach - they could get guys by just waiting. These two groups of women, those complaining about being approached and those complaining that they aren’t being approached, are two different groups with little overlap.
At the same time, not having to approach was a privilege while being approached without wanting it was an infringement.
I think it’s much better that women who are just trying to enjoy their nights are spared some drunk person trying to solicit sex or a date from them. Conversely, I don’t really think women having to face rejection is as big a deal.
missandry351@lemmings.world 1 month ago
I can’t stand these women. They need a psychologist, a psychiatrist and many meds, because I don’t believe that even for a second.
IEatDaGoat@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Yeah and they’ll vote for people like Trump because they won’t give a shit about women since they’ve distanced themselves from them.
missandry351@lemmings.world 1 month ago
“Gimme sex or I kill you” is basically what you are saying?
TheBat@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Yeah but the men who are leaving women alone are the same men who should be leaving women alone? Or is it decent men who have taken a hint while douchebags will continue being douchebags?
REDACTED@infosec.pub 2 months ago
Well, there was a time when women were THE thing making men happy. In modern age, we have computers.
echodot@feddit.uk 2 months ago
It’s not quite the same.
Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 2 months ago
You’re right, computers are way better
MBech@feddit.dk 2 months ago
My computer is always in the mood for whatever activity I wanna do. My wife is usually too busy with her computer.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Damn, I thought I was the only basement dweller
We are to broke to spend $10 on a beer and $10 on Frenchfries at a bar.
It’s free to post a dick Pic on grindr and have a guy deliver himself to your basement to give you the most enthusiastic blow job of your life.
ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 1 month ago
Lol
Mac@mander.xyz 1 month ago
For what reason would men randomly approach women? Women online have made it clear that doing so results in being made fun of and that women hate the features of testosterone-having men and they’ve made it clear there is a long list of “icks” that yoi can’t have.
The only dating i do is within the circles of friends.
Currently working on an absolute package, btw. Funny, fun, beautiful, sheeeeeesh.
The heart flutters at the thought.starman2112@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
women online have made it clear
Have you ever asked a woman in real life?
Mac@mander.xyz 1 month ago
Hard to believe, i know, but i have actually dated women IRL. lol
cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I sense a generation shift where literally everyone I see that’s under 25 has airpods in or is looking at their phone while in public. You can’t even interact irl anymore.
Tattorack@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I remember a picture of a train from “the good old days” where everyone was with their face in a newspaper and not interacting with anyone.
I remember reading about complaints against younger generations spending too much time reading novellas rather than living in the real world and interacting with people (was around the time the industrial printing press was invented).
Geetnerd@lemmy.world 1 month ago
What women hate is some stranger approaching them, out of the blue, in the most obvious and clueless way.
“Hello, female, I see you’re having fun with your friends. You don’t know me, M’Lady, but I wanted to let you know that I think you’re prime mating material, and would like to invite you back to my parent’s basement for Chicken Tendies. We will listen to music you like, until your mating orifice is sufficiently lubricated. Or we can watch Naruto. Rest assured, I am attentive, I watched many videos on foreplay. Shall I summon an Uber?”
Mac@mander.xyz 1 month ago
Lol do those people actually approach women?
01011@monero.town 2 months ago
Nobody really cares about men besides a minority of men and even an even smaller minority of women. The remainder only care about men in as much as it pertains to validating women. If you reduce women to being brood mares and play things for men it’s sexist but men being seen as nothing but wallets and sex toys for women is just fine.
taladar@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
I sometimes wonder why so many people consider negative effects of porn on relationships obvious while completely disregarding negative effects of romance fiction on relationships (among other things the concept of a soulmate you have to just find and then everything in the relationship is effortless afterwards).
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
Christians are actively waging a war on porn, that’s why.
MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com 2 months ago
I’d love to see what you’re basing that conclusion on. Most American women identify as feminist, which aims to liberate men as it does women from deeply entrenched gender norms. Less men identify as feminist, and one could argue some of that loss is because some men don’t value the liberation of women while still valuing the liberation of men. Admittedly, not all feminists are working towards liberation equally, but at its core it’s about self determination for everyone regardless of sex or gender. Most marriages in my social circle have the woman earning more than the man, and the men are not operating as “sentries” or “sex toys” in these relationships. Most do not need a male protector at this point and can certainly get sexual gratification solo or elsewhere if something happened. If you’re not American I can’t really speak about your country, and even in America lived experience can differ, but it seems reductionist to say nobody cares about men.
It seems like you have an interest in crypto, which is fine, but that community seems to self select for a certain type of person. It’s possible you’re just not in spaces where the majority of people behave the way the general population does.
Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 2 months ago
Most American women identify as feminist
white women voted for trump 65 to 35, so thats a lot of feminists voting for a rapist or your statement might be wrong ;)
01011@monero.town 2 months ago
Many Americans also identify as Christian while also chasing wealth. My point being, ideology does not always change or improve behaviour. Most people who claim a particular dogma will not accept or even understand its core tenets. I dare say that most self identified feminists are not in it for the benefit of all, I have had conversations with such women, listened to their issues and watched as they have dismissed the concerns of others. I know from close acquaintences that white feminists really struggle to extend that spirit of equality to non-white female feminists, how much worse will they thus act towards men?
There is a reason why marriage rates have dropped while rates of sexlessness for younger men have increased. Maybe your circle and observations are not the norm?
P.S. Your assertions about cryptocurrency are way off base, I’m into tech. I used to mine and there are some projects that I have found useful. I do not associate with too many crypto people in meatspace. Certainly not when it comes to women.
mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Tbh playing Magic the Gathering or Warhammer 40k with random dudes at a hobby store is cheaper and more fun than most traditional dates I’ve been on.
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
We need less gender separation in all sorts of social activities
SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Nobody’s stopping women from enjoying MTG or Warhammer
AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 2 months ago
And just as likely to get you laid
AnimalsDream@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
Unless you’re doing mainly proxies, MTG is anything but cheap these days. 😐
UniversalMonk@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Tbh playing Magic the Gathering or Warhammer 40k with random dudes at a hobby store is cheaper and more fun than most traditional dates I’ve been on.
You 100 percent just fit the stereotype of most Lemmy users. lol
I mean, hey, it’s your life, you do you. But that sounds like a horrible life to me.
ConstantPain@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Women have been told they only need to exist to be desired and are not putting any effort at the beginning of the relationship and men are getting tired of doing all the lift without any reciprocation.
That has been my experience, anyway, and I’m getting tired of meeting women that show no effort to make things work.
ScoopMcPoops@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Who told women that?
azvasKvklenko@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Didn’t they explicitly ask via #metoo movement and what not for men to NOT approach them directly ever or else they screem that this is harassment?
Burghler@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
No that’s totally different. You can approach women just don’t be a douche/creep and respect the rejections and otherwise when it works you’re in.
Your point holds under circumstances that make them uncomfortable like during night or when they’re feeling unsafe because a few bad apples do invoke trauma.
If you’re not a bad apple you have nothing to worry about. Except femcels, those ones are misandrists and theres no hope like for incels. Leave them to correct themselves or stay alone forever.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
If you’re not a bad apple you have nothing to worry about. Except femcels, those ones are misandrists and theres no hope like for incels.
It’s not always immediately obvious who those are. So every interaction is a dice roll to see if you get a date, get rejected politely, or screamed at and publicly dragged through the mud. Remember the Instagram gym girls telling at gym bros glancing in their general direction? For a lot of younger men, the consequences of the risk, however small, outweigh the reward.
azvasKvklenko@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
I think that speaking out loud about malicious activities towards women is important and yes, harassment is real, but it really feels like society became almost too sensitive when it comes to approaching women. Some years ago there were video campaigns where they would literally show how one men stops another from talking to stranger female, before he was given a change to be either creepy or nice and respectful with like assumption that this is bad anyway. And also who’s to judge where’s the boundary between being creep or not anyway, this can be very subjective.
And it’s not my POV, I just speak about what I see in internet/media. Being gay introvert I couldn’t care less about talking to strangers…
Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Not all men. You. They don’t want YOU to approach them.
SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 1 month ago
*you all
surph_ninja@lemmy.world 2 months ago
If you mistook ‘don’t be creepy’ for ‘don’t approach women at all,’ then yeah. You’re probably in a mental place where you shouldn’t approach.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
No dating for the autists, got it.
calcopiritus@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Given how a lot of women are, don’t be creepy does mean “don’t approach them at all. Unless I’m interested in you, which I won’t tell you because men have to make the first move”.
BlackSheep@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
People used to “socialize” in person. We had nightclubs, bars, parties, dances. Young people gathered and met—in person. That doesn’t seem to happen anymore. Why?? The allure of nightclubs was live bands… too expensive now. Bars?… too expensive now outside of special occasions. Dances? Not sure what happened there… too expensive to rent a hall and hire music? And parties? Not sure about that either.
Geetnerd@lemmy.world 1 month ago
You forgot the part about that’s where the potential to get laid was, for dudes and chicks.
You learned from trial and error, until you got it right, instead of whining on social media about it.
SuperSpruce@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
I’ve tried and I’m still trying. As someone who is a bit shorter than average and is socially awkward, it’s tough. Recently I’ve been able to get dates with 3 girls from dating apps (due to me being better at flirting and getting a few more matches than before), but they all went nowhere.
1 girl didn’t seem to want any touching or flirty things on the first date and the conversation wasn’t smooth, so I friendzoned her.
The other 2 girls immediately started with a flirty text conversation.
I hit it off with first one over text, we were having long phone calls and sending raunchy stuff over text. I had one short date with and was planning a spicier 2nd date with but she cancelled because I asked her to be my Valentine on Valentine’s Day.
The 2nd one wanted to take things slower, and friendzoned me after 2 longer dates. She also wasn’t that into touching.
I never kissed any of these girls. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, especially with the first flirty girl.
ace_of_based@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Not doing anything wrong homie in fact youre doing it perfect. Just keep trying cuz you either vibe or you don’t. Keep being natural so when you do click with someone they’re connecting with the real you
rekabis@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
For the average man making unsolicited approaches, the latest stats I have seen tend to bounce between the 1-in-300 and the 1-in-1,500 range of a successful approach per total attempts. And this is just first-date-is-successful territory, it gets a good magnitude worse if you are looking for an LTR.
From what I understand, the flip side is a lot lower: an average women making unsolicited approaches to men seem to be hitting a 1-in-5 to 1-in-20 success range, depending on conditions
So yeah, being a man outside of the desirable 10% is indeed playing on hard mode. And from what I can see, things have only gotten much, much worse for the average man in the last few decades since I was young. I don’t envy young men these days, at all.
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong
You are suffering from a lack of experience.
Women have the ability to learn by proxy, when having intimate conversations with sisters, mothers, aunts, and other female role models. This gives them a massive buff long before they ever begin dating, because they are able to gain an emotional roadmap of how things go down, and then build on that with experience.
Men don’t have this same transfer of knowledge, nor are we even psychologically set up to build one, so in aggregate we are massively nerfed straight out of the gate. This means our only way of learning is via direct experience and sheer volume: you need to circulate and learn from your experiences in order to percolate. It sucks, but that’s the breaks. The rare guy will get lucky straight out of the gate. The vast majority, however, will have to approach and be rejected by many hundreds to even thousands of women before they “find their groove” enough to catch a break.
And your own insecurities are working against you: being nervous, desperate, or unsure of yourself is something that women - again, through that buff of intergenerational information transfer - are able to “smell” almost instinctively. If you want to vanquish those issues, you quite literally need to work on yourself, to focus on improving yourself and gaining confidence within yourself by overcoming obstacles and challenges that you set for yourself.
Stoicism can assist in helping you become a better version of yourself, in becoming intrinsically motivated such that companionship shifts away from being a clawing need to merely a value-added proposition.
TheBat@lemmy.world 1 month ago
For the average man making unsolicited approaches, the latest stats I have seen tend to bounce between the 1-in-300 and the 1-in-1,500 range of a successful approach per total attempts. And this is just first-date-is-successful territory, it gets a good magnitude worse if you are looking for an LTR.
From what I understand, the flip side is a lot lower: an average women making unsolicited approaches to men seem to be hitting a 1-in-5 to 1-in-20 success range, depending on conditions
Where can I read more about this?
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
it’s a dating app. Nobody wants anything from them.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 month ago
but she cancelled because I asked her to be my Valentine on Valentine’s Day.
You can’t just say that and not provide the rest of the story. Do you have the transcript still? Because either you’re lying or this is the wildest thing ever. Either way I think we’d want to see.
SuperSpruce@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
Sure, I’ll give more details.
I matched with her on Tinder and waited a few hours and she messaged me first, and not something generic but something about my profile. We started chatting over text and I suggested a short first “piano practice” date in a few days (we both play piano).
The next day we had a 2+ hour call where we played video games (Fortnite, don’t judge, I don’t play that unless I play with someone else) together and just chatted. Everything was going great.
The following days she was sending me super flirty texts (“my skirt will distract you”, and suggestive stuff about touching each other all over). I’ve never gotten texts like this in my life so I was slightly reserved but still flirty.
The date went well, we both got along with each other and we sat real close to each other. I even sent her a flower, and she told me that made her feel so special. There was one point where our faces were close to each other and she might have wanted a kiss, but I chickened our and just hugged her.
We planned a 2nd date as a movie date at my place. All the while we were feverently texting each other lots of things, from platonic to romantic to sexually suggestive. We even had a call meant to be a half hour but it lasted 1.5 hours. It reached a boiling point where we agreed on an “inter-date” study session the day before Valentine’s Day.
It was just about half an hour and we were both trying to get work done in a very public place so I wasn’t touchy at all. She also brought up more somber topics like politics (we have the same political views for the most part). At the end, because Valentine’s Day was near, I asked her to be my Valentine (as per the suggestion of a female friend) and got an unenthusiastic “sure.”
10 minutes later she texted that we’d be better off as friends because there was “no romantic physical chemistry” and cancelled the 2nd date.
I really wanted to explain that I had little experience and that the 2nd date was where the “action” would truly begin. By this point I had developed a huge crush on her and my heart was broken. Heck, I’m crying as I write this right now.
UniversalMonk@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
As someone who is a bit shorter than average and is socially awkward, it’s tough.
You can fix the socially awkward part. And women aren’t as obsessed with height as Lemmy and the interwebs make them to be.
Eyeszaque@lemm.ee 1 month ago
These types of posts always get so spicy, and not in a fun way.
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 month ago
Yea, I’m not into these types of post’s comments either. I just wanna laugh at a chud sucking for being mega racist or sexist or something.
Ledericas@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Maybe because they are getting advice from other men how to trick a girl into giving them sex, this why alot look at pickup artist, it involves manipulation and tricks
ameancow@lemmy.world 1 month ago
For the same reason we don’t have productive political debates anymore, people don’t have productive interpersonal relations anymore. Everyone withdrawing to their internet safe spaces has made a whole generation of men and women who instead of talking to each other, read horrible stories from other men and women and retreat further and further from actually talking to each other.
Now when you put a young man and woman in the same room together, they’re both on edge because both their minds are consumed with anxiety about what the other is “planning.”
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
is the joke here that this thread is fake and gay?
Did i do a 4chan correctly?
Guns0rWeD13@lemmy.world 1 month ago
i guess they’re not getting laid and are very angry about it too. sorry about your fee fees, incels.
BRING ON THE DOWNVOTES CUCKS
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
i mean, you’ve almost got the spirit.
ConstantPain@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Found the 13 yo.
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
right here apparently, lmao.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 months ago
For me at this point in my life trying to find someone to date just isn’t worth the effort. I have limited time, money, and mental energy and there are better ways to spend it than on women who for the most part won’t be interested in me anyway. Unless the relationship turns out great and we’re amazingly compatible it’s going to add more stress than it’s worth. I still go out with my friend (about 30% of whom are women) and we do various activities that I enjoy. I have hobbies that interest me and basically all my free time is occupied between stuff I want to do and chores. If some woman I know I get along with likes me enough to pursue something romantic I might give it a shot but otherwise I’m comfortable with things as they are and I don’t want to risk fucking that up by adding someone else into the mix.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 2 months ago
My kid is almost 27, and he hasn’t been on a date since he was six. The little girl down the street, with very strange parents, asked him over for a play date.
(No, I don’t say anything to him about it. It’s none of my business.)
zakobjoa@lemmy.world 2 months ago
It’s giving
April – 1805 Napoleon is master of Europe. Only the British fleet stands before him. Oceans are now battlefields.
Yoga@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
I don’t buy the “speed dating has more men than women” thing for a second unless they’re talking about the 45+ bracket.
In fact I just checked a local speed dating event and the male tickets were sold out and the female ones had a 2 for 1 promo lol
aamram@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
Too busy playing WoW. Ain’t nobody got time for that…
vagabondvisions@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
The men who are successful with dating are already dating or active in places where they are finding better success than clubs and arranged dating events.
The men who are unsuccessful at dating are confused and wary about women, who are no longer the compliant trad-wife wannabes that these men were lead to expect exist in numbers by the likes of “manospherian” influencers like Peterson, Tate, et al.
nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
if bars are empty that’s because you live in a weird suburb
Bojack411@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Most of the men in these comments have never tried speaking to a women.
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
Tbh I would probably try speed dating if I was looking for someone these days.
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I just don’t think people want men around.
Banana@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
They’d rather complain about being single and resent women than become vulnerable enough to make a real human connection.
ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 1 month ago
This thread is just incels outing themselves
L0rdMathias@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
The difference is that primarily one of these parties will possibly suffer the consequences of both social perception and legal action while the other will not. If all possible attempts to advance or approach carry disproportionate amounts of risk, then it is foolish to knowingly progress without an obvious opportunity.
TheBat@lemmy.world 2 months ago
What speed dating trouble anon is talking about?
blady_blah@lemmy.world 1 month ago
So… Over the phone doesn’t count? Texting doesn’t count? Email? Those don’t count? I would think that in this day and age texting would be the normal way to ask a girl out for a first date.
You know it’s REALLY hard for someone not super social to ask a girl out in person. I’m 50 and i think I’ve never asked a girl out for a first date in person… But then again, I am an introverted nerd so that’s probably to be expected. Hell, I asked the girl I ended up marrying out over email…
JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
I usually get people asking for my number or socials when they’re interested, asking out tends to happen over electronic communication after that.
My process is basically
- Casual conversation- if you don’t hit it off naturally here, let it go.
- Reciprocal flirting
- Exchange contact info
- Develop friendship
- Ask out directly
- ???
- Go back to 1
I also get told I’m very attractive in various verbage near daily so 🤷♀️
Idk, just be respectful and don’t be pushy if they’re trying to let you down (and pay attention for if they’re trying to do it gently)
dan00@lemm.ee 1 month ago
After my long relationship (7+), i started dating again. Unfortunately i discovered that no one is looking for a meaningful connection or a serious conversation. Everyone wants to catered and be heard, no one wants to listen for just a second. I actively stopped myself from flirting/dating anymore, it’s just a complete waste of time 🤷♂️im sorry to say many many many girls are VERY VERY superficial people.
starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Imo that’s just people in general, most have a lot of issues they want to talk through and don’t have people to talk with. After seeing about 9000 online profiles with “pamper me” or “over 6 ft or don’t message” I get the feeling though :>
DNS@discuss.online 1 month ago
Try being a single dad on the dating scene. It’s like a yellow star on my shoulder everywhere my profile goes. For fucks sake, even had single mom’s tell me they don’t date single dads. Legit had a woman tell me I’m cute, but having a kid is a dealbreaker due to her not wanting “baggage.” Says the person resorting to online dating.
Thankfully, I found someone and been out of the game for the past 5ish years or so. I can only imagine how much more superficial it all is now.
dan00@lemm.ee 1 month ago
It is a bit everyone yes, I just never had to convince a lad to have a drink with me. Maybe it comes out differently for men, don’t know and don’t care.
ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 1 month ago
Well anytime you see someone constantly complains that women won’t have meaningful or “deep” conversations, that women are superficial, calls women girls they are typically just sexist incels and have zero meaningful conversations beyond complaining…. O_o
starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Thankfully you are aware enough to write “typically” and know this commenter is an individual person with their own experiences and manner of speaking, so we shouldn’t make assumptions!
dan00@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Fair, I wish it wasn’t like this. It’s nobody fault really but how is it possible that the majority of my friends (man and women) have mental issues? Is it normal to be bombarded 24/7 with unrealistic standards and norms?
I bet many men are hyperfocusing on money in life because at the end of the day we see and being taught that money buys anything, women included. Do you blame them? Yes yes, it’s fucked up but do you really want to die alone? Because ugly, depressed and broke won’t cut it but ugly, depressed and rich will.
I’m just tired, people live in dreamland and I’m nobody’s daddy.