marriage update

Comments

• CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Gotta love they ask for your income level before asking your name.

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• dumbass@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I could go for a big pile of towels to hide in.

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  • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    you can put that in the lover’s style section

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  • GladiusB@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    It must stink

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    • SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I’m not sure what you wrote. Do you think it will stink? Or do you demand that it has to?

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    • dumbass@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      You know you can wash towels, right?

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  • SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Yeah, I want a snuggle hut!

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• Gork@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Yet another marriage ruined by Big Towel. Smh my head

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• blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I really hope this isn’t satire.

  I mean, it’s pretty good satire but it would be good if it’s true

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  • aeiou@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    It’s a @truewagner bit.

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    • buddascrayon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Is that the same person who made the milk bath advertisements?

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• Soulphite@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I’m going to need to see a rear picture of both Darlene and Tom before I can really decide. So I suppose I’m still deciding.

  Quick question, is the pile of towels still around?

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  • daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    It doesn’t say “check one only”.

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  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Quick question, is the pile of towels still around?

    God I hope not. Once it rains, that’s a recipe for mildew and fungus if I’ve ever seen one. You can probably smell it for a mile in every direction, to say nothing of what that’s doing to Tom.

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• gigastasio@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Father Donovan was always pretty chill.

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  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Everybody knows Father Donovan’s a got thing for Darlene. Word is she’s wild in the sack.

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• BigDiction@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Tom looking forlornly out of the towels is gutting me.

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• explodicle@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  What an absolute frood.

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  • jj4211@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Absolute gigafrood energy.

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  • baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    some may even call him a hoopy frood

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    • smeenz@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Well he certainly knows where his towel is

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• Etterra@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I’ve never seen an analog digital media post before.

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  • tetris11@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    it was delivered by a snail flown by a pigeon

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• Mulligrubs@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Tom gets it

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  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    He understands.

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• Lumidaub@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Very considerate of them.

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• BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  GODDAMIT! Here I was thinking that this was a wonderful way to maturely alert the world to their new status, and in the end it just turns out to be nothing but another AD! SPAM!

  I’m profoundly disappointed.

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• GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  growing up in a small town, this is accurate.

  the Jr high science teacher was the town whore. you could find her at the bar most Fridays. you knew she was there by the smokers cackle.

  how would a student know who’s in the bar you might be asking yourself. because it was the town watering hole and everybody went there.

  how did a student know she was the town whore? because several high school students couldn’t keep their mouths shut after losing their virginity.

  she did throw the best parties in highschool though, if you were into the swingers lifestyle.

  fun fact, her husband was a cuck.

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  • sangeteria@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Unfortunate that she was a pedophile but at least she has event planning skills

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I mean…these were 17-18 year old students. well within the age of consent in the state this happened in.

      still gross though.

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  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    we had two.

    we had the BEST high school cross country team in the public high school leagues. came in 2nd at state every year behind the private catholic school that recruited all across the state of california, you know, Jesuit? Because we had the best coach. He knew what to do because like, he was a regular ultramarathoner. Did ironman. All that shit. We had steep hills to race on. English teacher saw Coach J at a local fun run, and I will not deny she was a good runner (came first in her age group, men and women. I ran fun runs from age 10-17 and it’s a small enough town everyone knows everyone. Like i was out on my bike today and ran into a woman i haven’t seen in 20 years, she literally moved into town last week and was walking her dog. she thought everyone she knew had left town), English Teacher got a crush, and wangled her way into being the girls’ coach at the high school the next year. First year, i’m told they behaved. Would run with the students unless they were doing fartleks, because instead of fartleks the team tradition was to play tag in the park for an hour and then do hill charges. Second year, (my first year) they would send the kids off on runs and sneak into the locker room to fuck. The high school locker rooms. That were unlocked because cross country, football, soccer, several clubs, etc. would have practice. They got caught several times and were fired not just from the coaching jobs but from their teaching jobs for conduct unbecoming (if you’re going to cheat, do it where students won’t catch you. also, one of the people who caught them on campus was his daughter. in my grade. we did music and drama together and were in the same elementary class like 4 times so like, we’re still friends even though we haven’t seen each other in forever. so like, the entire team was out for blood). Next year we got new coaches. Men’s coach taught physics, women’s coach taught PE. Special varsity coach was hired, I’m not sure we ever learned his name. We just called him Mysterio (he was into comics and loved it). Also one of the English teachers would come down and set up a water table for us (and was absolutely obsessed with sunscreen and other sun protection. i think her sister had just gotten a melanoma so i get it. well, i get it now. i’m that obsessed now about hats as sun pro). On hot, sunny days we would take our shirts off and try and fail to tan as we ran, which would upset the English teacher and cause her to go back to her room but like, it’s our workout leave us alone. The physics teacher would follow her up and the PE teacher would go back to her office and monitor the locker room for fucking (i wonder why they needed someone for that) and Mysterio would hang out by the track. Three godsdamned weeks was all it took for the physics teacher and the English teacher to start. So like, my experience is English teachers are town bicycles. I’m sure not every one is, but like shooting 2 for 2 here for the ones i got to know. Actually i know one more, but i have not inquired as to her wheeled status. she’s shy about that.

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• AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  It’s always a good day when a new TrueWagner project hits the wild.

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  • luthis@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    This guy hits my humor button perfectly

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    • AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Same. We’ve got a local guy here in New Haven, CT that’s doing similar stuff. Once a week or so, I take a walk around town looking for new ones. I’ll post the next one I find.

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• sangeteria@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I wonder how the big pile of towels is resilient to the elements, such as wind, rain, or earthquakes

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  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Yeah, I need a LOT more clarity on this “pile-o-towels” situation. 48 hours? Is there a chamber under there? Or does the pile just press down on him? Isn’t it soggy from the rain? What if you have to pee? Or eat? Or watch TV? How is the wifi reception in there? Does he only do it when she’s getting frisky with random dudes in the house?

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    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      It’s the old tarp and towel. 3 layers of towels, then tarp, then 15 more layers of towels. You climb in between the 15 to get the comfort/weight right. The top 3 layers absorb the loud rain drop noise and the tarp keeps out the leaks.

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    • brbposting@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      48 hrs)

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• slaacaa@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Love Alan Wagner. Such a recognizable style. It feels like handmade, bespoke humor. Such a rarity nowadaS

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• robocall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I have no idea what’s going on please explain the joke

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  • luthis@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    ‘I have no idea what’s going on’ < this is the joke.

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• HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Image

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  • rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    You will certainly not regret having 3 pile of towel.

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• sem@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  “All our fucking neighbors” this is the internet you dont have to self censor

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  • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Doesn’t really match the tone, it’s probably the name of the apartment complex

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  • bss03@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    In their defense it might be the name of the subdivision / street and not a curse word, but censored to avoid “doxxing”.

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• ClownStatue@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Lover’s Style? I’m surprised this hasn’t been jumped on yet. “All Conquering?” “(Power) Bottom?” “70s Porn?”

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  • jballs@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I would prefer a few standard options to choose from. Leaving it as a fill in the blank is a lot of pressure.

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• gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Very whimsical stuff going on.

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• 4grams@awful.systems ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  And just where can one procure such a pile of towels?

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  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Oh don’t worry, the post office delivers them all the time.

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• MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I bet those towels have tons of nutrients.

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  • Railing5132@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Always have your towel, you hoopy frood!

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