jballs

@jballs@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Yep⁩ ⁨⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

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• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Lest you scar yourself for life⁩ ⁨⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Think of this from our perspective. We are two teenage boys. We find a hidden tape. We don’t know what’s on it. What’s the next logical move?

  Or if you’re saying once the guy in the tape does his intro, what are you saying you’d do differently? Are you saying you’d send your brother out of the room so you could watch the tape of the guy jacking off by yourself? Cause that’s weird as fuck dude.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Lest you scar yourself for life⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  I reminded my brother of this and he responded youtu.be/reNvytfN820

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Lest you scar yourself for life⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Growing up, my brother and I found a camcorder tape hidden in the basement of the house we moved into like 6 months prior. We had to buy a mini tape to VHS converter so we could play the thing on our VCR.

  It was a tape of some young dude in the our (now) basement going “this is going to be a video showing you how to make love to beautiful women.”

  Me and my brother were like “hell yeah!” Then the guy in the video goes “but before you make love, you have to learn to love yourself.”

  The entire video was then just this dude jacking off. We were so mad we went out of our way to buy a VHS converter just to watch this dude beating his meat. There were no beautiful women to be found.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Google is excited about money!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Edited for clarity:

  Back in my day we used our phone plan money to pay for google play purchases / hand jobs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Make gravity your bitch⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Exactly. Raise your hand. Great, you overcame gravity for a second. Keep your hand raised for a minute. 10 minutes. An hour. Fuck, gravity doesn’t stop. It’s exactly like us.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon makes life choices⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I was trying to explain this to my son yesterday. He’s in middle school but already has a career path picked out. I was like, “dude, I didn’t even know my current job existed until a decade after I graduated from college, you don’t have to have this all figured out yet. Plans change, life gets in the way. Just go with it.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I assume it’s purely for her to get US citizenship. She posts lots of thirst trap pictures on Instagram.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  My divorced 43 year old friend just did this. He’s got a smoking hot 21 year old Filipino fiance. It’s weird as fuck.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨SPIRIT WEAPON⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  And then if she chooses the cheesy pickup line:

  Girl, are you made of iron and animal bones? Because you’ve got all the elements to forge a bond stronger than a Viking axe.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨SPIRIT WEAPON⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Jokes on her. The recipe is iron and animal bones to make a sweet axe.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Ring is a lot cuter than I remember⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I saw The Ring in the theater and people legit freaked the fuck out when she came out of the screen. One person straight up got up and ran out.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon orders food⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Lol

  “I want to destroy your dick,” SJ Son whispers into the ear of an unknown man as she walks by.

  Yeah 99% of dudes I know would be ecstatic to hear a woman whisper that to them on the street.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨shrimp colour drama⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  If you love the old murder mystery games like the Laura Bow Mystery Series, you will enjoy this game

  Oh man, I had completely forgotten about the old Laura Bow games! Might have to check this out!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨shrimp colour drama⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I remember experiencing the EGA to VGA graphics evolution when I was growing up. I remember thinking the VGA almost seemed too real.

  In my mind, this was a game that felt like it was pretend:

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  But this felt entirely too real:

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• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm just happy you thought it was funny, dear⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The not shitting guy came before the beans. The beans was mindless. The not shitting guy was an enigma.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Here's one more for you 🐸⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I was searching for Macho Man gifs the other day to send to friend. I made the mistake in doing it in Chrome and not in an incognito window. Now my algorithms serve up a constant stream of WWE content. Figure it’ll take a couple weeks to go back to normal.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Starbucks continues to be terrible⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m theory, the board of directors is supposed to keep a CEO in check if they do something that is against the best interest of the shareholders. But the share price actually went up after he made this move.

  Same reason share prices often go up when a company announces layoffs. The market isn’t always tied to how well a business is run.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Moo Deng has had enough⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  What’s that watermark in the bottom right?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Starbucks continues to be terrible⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Of course that wasn’t the official reason he gave. He hired a management consultant group to do a study of where all the top restaurant talent was in the country. Surprise, surprise, all the criteria they were given led them to narrow down the ideal location for the corporate headquarters to be right next to his house in Newport Beach.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Starbucks continues to be terrible⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  That was just the 400 FTEs. There were also lost of contractors that were affected as well! Most people don’t count them since they could have been let go for any reason.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Starbucks continues to be terrible⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, same guy who fired nearly everyone at the Chipotle corporate office in Denver so he didn’t have to commute.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Celebrating my 1000th comment. Here is a shitpost.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I’ve been in Lemmy for almost 2 years since the API migration, and I don’t know if I’ve ever encountered a tankie, despite seeing hundreds of memes about them.

  I’m guessing my instance just doesn’t federate with the same weird shit y’all are seeing?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨no ragrets⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  They are absolute crackheads. Adorable, fuzzy, crackheads.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon encounters magic⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  This song was my jam circa 2000

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon disturbs the Force⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  In my experience, Lemmy users are pretty old compared to most other online communities. I don’t know if there’s been a poll, but my guess is most users are older than their late 30s.

  Hopefully y’all old mother fuckers have gotten some ass by now.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mr. Grey, can I go to the bathroom?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  She is an HTML element that specifies inline text that should be displayed as a subscript.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon experiences freedom⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  It seems like it would be lucrative

  My mind read that as “it seems like it would be lubricative” and it still made sense.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ow ow ow ow ow⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  This may very well be the weirdest comment I’ve ever upvoted

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What Did William Burrito Mean by This?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  And at those BBQs, they’re gonna fix you a bomb ass plate of some awesome meat that they’ve been working on for hours.