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fragile masculinity

⁨507⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨fossilesque@mander.xyz⁩ to ⁨science_memes@mander.xyz⁩

https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/468e7aa7-d082-44a5-94b6-85eb06cfda20.png

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Comments

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  • Broadfern@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Plant growing is gendered now?

    All the cishet men I’ve known who have had gardens grew all kinds of stuff, from fruits and vegetables to culinary herbs and flowers.

    Maybe I’m in a bubble but damn I feel sorry for the dudes in the OP.

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    • glimse@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah this is weirdly sexist. I only know one person this describes because he’s growing weed (legally) in an apartment so he can’t have a outdoor garden

      Hell, I know over a dozen men with gardens and only two even grow peppers. Everyone grows tomatoes, though…

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      • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Fresh tomatoes out of your own greenhouse are amazing, that’s why

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      • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Hornworms and squirrells always wreck my tomatoes:(

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    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      yes. everything is gendered for gender warriors.

      i’m cishet and i have a garden and most women i date think it means I’m secretly gay. the cat doesn’t help.

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      • jimmux@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That’s wild. Have they seen how much you can provide from a garden?

        Also, having a garden doesn’t preclude one from hunting… whatever that means in the modern era. You can only eat so much meat.

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      • Broadfern@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That’s wild, I’m sorry you gotta deal with that.

        Survival skills + demonstrated empathy/care with other living beings are positives for any person. Hopefully you find someone who appreciates that. /gen

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      • Rothe@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Sure, but the OP doesn’t say “gender warriors”, it says “Western man”, which includes a whole lot more people than the tiny minority of those bigots.

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      • Pot8o@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Well it looks like your garden has at least a double function - it filters out women with weird ideas about gender and sexuality 😁

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      • blackbrook@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Just grow an unkempt beard and wear overalls.

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    • yakko@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Seriously. Who could talk shit on local wildflowers? I’m feeding bees up in this B.

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      • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I’m encouraging wild flowers to grow in between my berry bushes.

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    • smeg@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Male gardeners as depicted in popular fiction:

      Image

      A real alpha male helps you carry The Ring to Mordor

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    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Same, I don’t know any dudes into gardening that care about that shit. One of them does grow peppers, but it’s because he likes peppers, not because he’s worried growing other stuff (which he also does) will make him look like a pussy.

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    • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I grow several varieties of peppers from sweet bells to habaneros, tomatoes, okra, cucumbers, and mint, plus a few odds and ends that look cool at the garden center. I tend to grow plants that either produce more per dollar to grow than I can get at the store, or in the case of tomatoes, of better quality. And mint is eternal.

      I also harvest beautyberries that have sprung up wild on my property, and have recently learned that the big weird thing looming over my wood shop is a black walnut tree, so I think I’m gonna go nuts next summer.

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    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      theres whole subs for growing succulents, carnivorous plants, but usually its mostly women in those subs.

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  • StrixUralensis@tarte.nuage-libre.fr ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Who does this ? This looks like ragebait

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    • OldChicoAle@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Maybe it’s the same men that don’t wash their ass cuz that’s gay.

      /s maybe

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      • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        /s maybe

        Well done; that gave me a chuckle…

        Its not gay if it your own soapy fingers right…right guys…oh fuck maybe I’m gay. No I can’t be, I hate the gays!!!

        • some closeted jock probably.
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      • polydactyl@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I literally know someone like this…

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  • Zgierwoj@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Cacti and carnivorous plants are super cool tho??? Especially that you get cacti cuz of how resilient they are, a great first plant, can recommend. And growing your own food/spices as well? Also Ive never seen that stereotype lmao

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    • GottaHaveFaith@fedia.io ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah it's kinda weird. As if anyone is growing weed because it's manly and not because it's awesome

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  • catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Wtf lol? This is completely made up

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  • Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Fellas, is it gay to participate in agrigulture?

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    • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Its confirmed, every farmer secretly has a boywife

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      • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Fellas, it’s it okay to have a boywife?

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      • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Plowing them fields is hard work.

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    • IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      according to dross’s comics yes

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  • Soktopraegaeawayok@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This is some poor bull shit… when did growing anything make anyone fragile?.. get outta here with your bs. Do you just go around trying to start shit?

    Why would make up something like that?

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    • joenforcer@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      When I was young, I got made fun of for wanting to help my mom plant and tend to a garden with basil and tomatoes. It didn’t kill my love for plants but childhood cruelty sticks with you.

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      • Soktopraegaeawayok@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I had 2 older brothers and 1 younger while growing up, we lived rurally and we would have a huge garden and we were all expected to work in it. Personally, i liked it, but I didn’t always like it cuz I was a kid I guess, but I liked it enough I have my own garden now and nobody forced me.

        I was also homeschooled, so I didn’t know a lot people, but I never got made fun of for gardener.

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  • TheFrirish@jlai.lu ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I don’t even understand this. I haven’t heard anyone even in the alt-right say growing plants was gay

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  • Engywuck@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    What a bullshit.

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  • ThisOne@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Eh funny but untrue. The dudes I know who are plant people grow anything cool. Ive got a lot of weird and cool plants.

    I do grow the super hot peppers, and i like feeding ticks to my carnivorous plants tho. So its not far off.

    I also grow tomatoes, eggplants, garlic, cuces, squash, etc.

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    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      it’s true in experience. I’m a single guy. I date around. Most women I meet think gardening makes me queer. It is not considered a desirable hobby for a man. And many men who don’t garden, also think it’s queer/feminine.

      People who do garden, don’t see it that way, of course. But every garden group I’ve ever met up with was 70% women, and most of the men were not ‘manly’.

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      • jimmux@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I grew up assuming every adult should be self-sufficient, so I learnt all of cooking, cleaning, gardening, basic repairs, home maintenance, sewing, etc. I think the most likely people to have a problem with that never learnt it themselves, so they feel inadequate.

        It became an issue in my first serious relationship because she didn’t cook or clean much. She definitely never tried to nurture so much as a plant. I had no problem with that because I could, but she started to feel less feminine, and eventually turned it around on me. The guys she left me for were completely useless, but they didn’t highlight her insecurities so she was happy. At least for a short while.

        People who are confident in their identity and abilities don’t do this, and that’s who you want to find anyway, regardless of gender.

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      • fireweed@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Traditionally it’s been similar to cooking:

        Farmer/chef? That’s a man’s work.

        Gardener/home cook? That’s a woman’s work.

        Fortunately we’ve got shows like the Great British Bake Off and a myriad of popular YouTube gardening and home cooking channels featuring men to help shake this up, but sadly it’s still something that’s seen as gendered by way too many folks. Still, if spicy peppers and cacti (and on the cooking side dishes like pizza) help get insecure men in the door, that’s great. But I’m with TTF: it may not be a strong stereotype, but I’ve also observed it.

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      • StrixUralensis@tarte.nuage-libre.fr ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That’s sad

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  • infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’ll be honest, I’ve never come across this.

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    • fireweed@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Which is too bad, because including flowers in your garden (even if it’s in the form of bolted plants) helps attract critters that will pollinate your “productive” plants as well as those that will help protect them from pest infestations. A balanced ecosystem lifts all boats, to mix my metaphors.

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      • infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I refer more to growing flowers for sale. Most people I know who garden use flowers in the way you described.

        I do however have one extremely “dudebro” guy friend who literally grew almost nothing but flowers, specifically to sell them to a florist :P

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  • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You avoid growing plants because it’s embarrassing.

    I avoid growing plants because I’m awful at it and it’s cruel.

    We are not the same

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  • RubberElectrons@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I like flowers and tomatoes 😎

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  • ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I genuinely regret all my cacti. I have like 8 Peruvian torches about a decade old from seed, and I like to put them outside in spring, so they don’t get all spindly and pathetic, and dear god are they heavy and dangerous to move now. They are like 4 foot tall or so, but can get up to 16 foot… whoops.

    But I don’t want to kill them because, like… I’m proud of them for thriving with me.

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    • SpikesOtherDog@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If you have a botanical garden nearby, you could see if they’ll adopt them. You could also check with any greenhouses.

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      • ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That’s a great idea! There’s actually a couple places I can think of that might be interested.

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      • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I wish I’d known this before committing inadvertent genocide (aren’t they all?)

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    • glimse@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’ve been resisting buying a cactus for awhile now and I think you just gave me the courage to put the idea out of my head forever lol

      For anyone feeling the same, maybe check out caudiciforms as a substitute! They grow slow, don’t need much water, and come in a bunch of cool varieties. It’s like bonsai without all the pretentiousness

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  • Skullgrid@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I wanted a house so I could grow the first three.

    Am currently stuck in in law’s house, with collapsing job market after being denied a mortgage for being too fat 3 months before the job market collapsed.

    help me.

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    • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Denied a mortgage for being too fat…?

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      • Skullgrid@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yep. Based on age and mortgage length, and beurocracy they said I had to take out a life insurance policy which got denied due to health factors.

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      • CaptDust@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        CICO Score was too low

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  • crimsonpoodle@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I dunno i just doubt this person exists to any great extent. All plants are great.

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    • stevedice@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      They do exist. They usually look like this, though:

      14934

      So probably nobody on Lemmy.

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      • Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Jesus, guys cant even wear sunglasses while driving cars now without it being seen as some kind of weird statement about what plants they do or dont grow…

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      • falseWhite@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I can’t see them growing anything other than beards.

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  • normalexit@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If you have weed, hot peppers, and carnivorous plants, can I come over?

    Normal plants are great too, but clearly you are a person of taste.

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    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      carnivirous and succulents are pretty finicky in thier care too. depending on the species. echeveria and outside ornamentals are easy, but if your looking at something lithops or a different succulent it might harder.

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      • CucumberFetish@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        How to keep a lot of plants at home alive: only buy the Aloe™ plants. I don’t know if it’s even possible to kill the ones I have without straight out drowning them. Forgot to water one of them for half a year and it started blooming instead of dying out. Now it gets watered only when I remember to water it.

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    • Crazazy@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Idk after enough very hot peppers their taste buds are probably pretty fried

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  • Darohan@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This bait is objectively hilarious in how BS it is.

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  • waigl@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My plants are tomatoes, bell peppers, basil, oregano, garlic and coffee (no serious hopes for a good harvest in my climate).

    Am I still allowed to call myself a man?

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    • GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      No. Now go and sit down to pee (like any sane person)

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    • fireweed@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      That privilege is heavily dependent on your maintaining a strong garlic harvest. The first year that slips (or your basil/oregano perform too well) you’re getting downgraded to nonbinary. Then there’s a three year grace period before you’re sent straight to full-blown woman. So make sure to fertilize your alliums well!

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  • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I love hot peppers :3

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      …fuckin’ pussy?

      Sorry, I don’t understand the rules, do we hate peppers now?

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      • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Not sure don’t care, I dont consume spicy food because I think it makes me strong I eat spicy food because it makes me feel and id rather not develop a drug addiction :3

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    • __nobodynowhere@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      peppies 😍

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  • meekah@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    jokes on you, my manliness is not in jeopardy if I just let all my plants dry out

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    • FosterMolasses@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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  • smh@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My dad grew tomatoes, loufas, and those decorative gourdes you turn into bird houses.

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I can grow my own loufas!? The scratchy kind? Wait. Aren’t they sea creatures?

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      • Formfiller@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yep you can grow luffa. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luffa

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  • Jax@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’ve gardened all my life and my favorite flowers are morning glories, please shove a cactus up your ass. Thank you.

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  • AceOnTrack@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I grow whichever plants I want, which includes hot peppers, yes.

    But also zucchini and rhubarb and strawberries and cherry tomatoes and…

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    • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      tell me about rhubarb. I don’t have any experience with it, eating or growing.

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      • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It has a large inedible leaf. The stalk is what you are after. The stalks can get sizable, and grow in a patch. I transplanted a root ball in smaller clumps and got more rhubarb. Easy to grow in good soil and not to much shade. Doesn’t need a huge amount of water, but dry growing conditions will create smaller more bitter stalks.

        Most times I see rhubarb in food it has been cooked to a mash consistency and sweetened. For things like pies, jams, sweet sauces for Ice cream and the like in my experience. I’m sure there are other uses. It’s pretty sour raw IME.

        Easy to store long term in the freezer as well. Cut and remove leaf, wash, either dice or leave whole, package then freeze.

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  • Voyajer@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I grow native plants and vegetables 🤷‍♂️

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  • quediuspayu@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I don’t grow anything, whatever is in my backyard grows by itself, I just go out there from time to time and forage the useful stuff.

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    • 7bicycles@hexbear.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      honestly whatever the plants in my yard do is mostly not my problem. they’ll figure it out.

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  • REDACTED@infosec.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I feel like weed does not really belong in either. You don’t grow it to be masculine and you don’t really grow it because you like to see it.

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  • floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Solanaceae are awesome. The fact that half of them will fuck you up is purely coincidental.

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Definitely one of humankind’s most utilized and important plant families.

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  • PixelatedSaturn@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You can grow hot peppers and not be fragile as well. I hope.

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    • infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I grew jalapenos and no joke, they were too hot for me. Way hotter than store bought.

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      • fireweed@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Jalapenos have become victims of their own success.

        They’re so popular and mainstream now that buyers (especially food processors) have started demanding high levels of consistency in terms of spice; Tostitos and the like want to ensure that every batch of salsa and such they mass produce is going to have the same spice level, which is understandable. Unfortunately this drive for increased consistency has led to an overall weakening of flavor, similar to what happened to produce like tomatoes and apples once industrialized farming and food processing created demands for longer shelf lives, consistency in appearance, etc., and like tomatoes and apples, the jalapenos you buy at most stores nowadays are going to be much weaker in flavor than they were in the past.

        Jalapenos not sourced from these industrial-oriented seed companies are going to vary much more in terms of spice level based on growing conditions, like temperature and rainfall. There even exists nowadays the “nadapeno,” which has jalapeno flavor but minimal spice. You can also remove the seeds and veins of the pepper before eating it, which makes a huge difference in reducing spice levels. Picking them earlier and growing them in “ideal” conditions for lessened spice is trickier, but can also help.

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      • TurtleTourParty@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Did you wait for them to turn red? I did and they were crazy hot even after removing all the seeds.

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  • OozingPositron@feddit.cl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If growing only cool plants is insecure then I want to be the most insecure man on earth. Except for weed, that’s just ugly looking grass.

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  • bizzle@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I grow all kinds of plants including weed and really hot peppers… but also roses

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