Written by Coolguy Sexhaver.
Foolproof advice
Submitted 3 weeks ago by sus@programming.dev to [deleted]
https://programming.dev/pictrs/image/ed8ff874-fc1c-434d-82e3-e08b6caf039d.png
Comments
kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
CoryCoolguy@lemmy.myserv.one 3 weeks ago
No relation.
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
In the unlikely event that she reacts poorly she might be on her period. You should ask her to make sure though.
LemmyThinkAboutIt@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
And if the woman happens to overreact to the period question, just politely tell her to calm down.
icelimit@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
If she doesn’t, tell her she’s acting crazy.
Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
… not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as “sweetie”, “honey” or “babe”.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Yeah i always take stock and usually calm down when a guy points that out.
TheBat@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know anything about women to dispute it.
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
This has to be satire.
wander1236@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
There’s no way that last sentence especially isn’t satire
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I thought so too until I went to the website and I still couldn’t tell :/
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
There’s lots of really fucking stupid people out there so who knows.
thrawn@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
It’s not. It’s from 2009 and the site is still posting weird shit now.
Here’s an archive of this particular tip, the others are cringe too. So are the comments
Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
I am once again asking lemmy users to check what community they're in before commenting
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
I understand the user is using this as a shitpost but that doesn’t mean the original content was for sure satire. It could also just be written by an idiot.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
You can’t really expect consciousness from straight cis men.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
It’s nit. This has worked on me four times.
ileftreddit@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?
db2@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It’s typo progressive for him. He’s the “your wife shouldn’t get wet” type.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Dont get her wet, don’t feed her after midnight. Hes very strict about rules for his wife.
ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed
ToiletFlushShowerScream@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You’re right, and I find it hilarious that this needs to be noted.
Malfeasant@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Can confirm, was stabbed.
LookBehindYouNowAndThen@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?
BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Madam, my compliments to your ovaries 🎩💪🏼🥚🙇
Denjin@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.
Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Why, thank you, I’ve just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Pretty sure that’s my first gag-upvote. Thanks, I guess.
dis_honestfamiliar@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
Oh yeah. Zero chance of back fire. Zero. Had sex all my life - once with a women. Trust me.
Noodle07@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
once with a women. Trust me.
Stop bragging
CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The sad thing is that some people will take this advice.
blarghly@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
What’s sad about learning something new and getting laid?
Denjin@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Please fertilise my egg, I just vacuumed.
CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I sincerely hope you’re /s ing.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
And some woman will have a good laugh and a narrow escape
ValiantDust@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
Yes, please do that. So we will immediately aware that we should get away as fast as possible.
itslola@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
TIL I ovulate every Sunday 😂😅
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Where the fuck do you keep all the eggs? Do you have a walk in fridge?
madjo@feddit.nl 2 weeks ago
In europe we store our eggs unrefrigerated
shalafi@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Rings true to me. My wife never vacuums and is past menopause.
Etterra@discuss.online 3 weeks ago
Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.
cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
We all love some good ol’ mansplainimg.
thebudman420@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I feel sorry for any guy dumb enough to try this. Also my friends mom when i was 13 vacuumed every day and rearranged all furniture and vacuumed behind everything once a week.
QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
This is for betas. It says so in the upper right corner.
omniman@anarchist.nexus 3 weeks ago
if i fill her in will she respectfully become my gf ?
Formfiller@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Damn I guess I’ve never ovulated in my life
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
“No, stop, where are you going? I have it on very good authority that you enjoy this!”
Gork@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
This must be why the site is still in Beta
LolaCat@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Poe’s law
Geodad@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I do all the vacuuming here.
Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as “incel drivel” and thrown into the fire.
MyDogLovesMe@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My wife always, always wanted pasta right before her period. It was always a good warning flag for her/us. So, this thread is a bit believable, …for me.
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Suckers gonna suck
Winter_Oven@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Feels like an example of crabs in a bucket
spiffynova@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
We all know that won’t work. Try this instead. Image
Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 weeks ago
“Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are.”
SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they’re ovulating.
krunklom@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
The cheese is under my foreskin
Spezi@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
Image
DharmaCurious@startrek.website 2 weeks ago
Would marry that farmer. No questions asked, no long engagement. Straight to the court house, we’re getting hitched.
hovercat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
That’s kind of an insane gift for a first date given how expensive cheese is.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
True love right there
kilgore_trout@feddit.it 2 weeks ago
Bro, plastic cheese…
Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I read that as “a slice of milk” and like. Technically yeah it’s not wrong
kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Yeah but this one unironically works for a lot of women.
Etterra@discuss.online 3 weeks ago
Works for a lot of men too. I mean not me. I prefer mozzarella.
Sunschein@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Idk, this piece of advice legitimately works on my wife.
BlueLineBae@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
That show one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women’s shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.
SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
If they were all the same size, perhaps amputee?
Or maybe a really specific fetish.
Maybe both.
Quite possibly a question best left unanswered, at least until you no longer live there
Etterra@discuss.online 2 weeks ago
Maybe they robbed a shoe store. On displays they frequently leave one shoe from a pair so that stealing them just nets you a pile of left shoes lol
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.
DharmaCurious@startrek.website 2 weeks ago
My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can’t believe. 10/10 mom and person.
icelimit@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
How do you steal each other fancy cheeses? Or steal fancy cheese from each other?
faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.
achance4cheese@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Fascinating
cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
🖖
also: username checks out
madjo@feddit.nl 2 weeks ago
I keep stealing shoes, and filling it with rue, but all it’s given me are shouting matches
Etterra@discuss.online 3 weeks ago
I tried this with my fiance with a dairy allergy and now I’m single again.
krunklom@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Bitches love cheddar
Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!