“RFK questions guidance on not putting spring rolls up your anus.”
Don't tell me what to do.
Submitted 1 day ago by BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/26abd5ba-7628-4c54-b4a8-92b4cc468c0d.jpeg
Comments
FancyPantsFIRE@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Geodad@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Is that him or the worm talking?
MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Maybe the worm likes spring rolls.
Onyxonblack@lemmy.zip 23 hours ago
I’m not watching him and his grandchildren do this on live TV…
Appleseuss@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
My body, my choice.
terminhell@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Well DUH! It’s summer idiots.
barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 14 hours ago
Several years back, I went to the store at the beginning of summer to get some foam pool noodles for the pool. I couldn’t find them anywhere, not even Walmart.
The next spring, they were everywhere, but they all included a tag or sticker that read “Not to be inserted rectally.”
So we had to go a summer without pool noodles so the government regulators could protect us against some butt stuff some weirdo tried.
Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 13 hours ago
if you can shove a pool noodle up yer arse, I don’t think the government should tell you not too
genevieve@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
FLARED. BASE.
Machinist@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 16 hours ago
I have so many questions about the train of thought that led to this… situation.
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 19 hours ago
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 16 hours ago
What goes up must always come down
Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Literally 1984
tourist@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
olafurp@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
Don’t shove spring rolls up your ass, shove autumn wraps into the digestive system in reverse. :)
5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
The surveillance is a bit anal.
Willy@sh.itjust.works 18 hours ago
I missed that page.
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 17 hours ago
First they told us not to eat the yellow snow, now they’re telling us not to stick spring rolls up our poop chutes. It’s like doctors don’t want us to find any joy in our lives.
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 16 hours ago
Or give them reasons to earn money while also telling crazy ass stories to their friends and family. Literally.
LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
The new sexually frustrated boomer trend
Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 1 day ago
It’s the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.
The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 day ago
If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan’s eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they’ve fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn’t get Thursdays off, it’s been a minute.
GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 17 hours ago
First they invented great barrier reef, now they make great barrier ointment. My God what horrors and highlights, the hubris of humankind.
musubibreakfast@lemm.ee 15 hours ago
Best thing to do is just fry the egg rolls inside your bowels. First you coat your lower intestines with aluminum foil, then you shove in the egg rolls and pour in the hot oil.
huppakee@feddit.nl 1 day ago
Thank god I’m not a patient then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 23 hours ago
Doctors don’t know what you put in your but if you also shove an apple up there beforehand.
_AutumnMoon_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 hours ago
Well, I wasn’t going to before, but now I am wondering what hidden secrets they are keeping from us??
olafurp@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
“Breaking news”
Senseless@feddit.org 1 day ago
Use summer rolls instead. They’re usually bigger anyway.
kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com 1 day ago
just gonna leave this here walesonline.co.uk/…/doctors-warning-people-not-in…
lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 hours ago
“I can almost recognize my bottom again” is an all time quote
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 15 hours ago
A spring roll a day…
elevenbones@sh.itjust.works 12 hours ago
Yeah probably the same “doctors” that give vaccines and think covid is real 😳
LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 hours ago
More importantly, is that soy sauce? Y’all eat spring rolls with motherfucking soy sauce? Ewwwwww
JustARegularNerd@aussie.zone 19 hours ago
The fuck? First person I’ve met that objects to this. Even the sushi places usually throw in soy sauce for your spring rolls
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 hours ago
Yeah. You should be lubricating your spring rolls with sweet&sour sauce.
Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Fuckin’ big pharma. I ain’t sticking Pfizer’s goddamn wantons up there, I’m sticking with PF Changs just like my paw-pee and his pee-paw before 'em.
Deceptichum@quokk.au 1 day ago
Well excuse me for being a good host during my digital rectal exam.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 day ago
He didn’t complain about the tea kettle at least, that’s just being hospitable
lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 hours ago
they are going that way anyway, why not have a couple take a shortcut
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 14 hours ago
This is why we can’t have universal healthcare.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
“Insert from other end”
D_C@lemm.ee 20 hours ago
Instructions unclear. Urethra is now also unclear.
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Tik Tok challenges are really going to another level.
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
If I insert the spring rolls into my ass, will I shit them out from my mouth?
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 hours ago
No. Secret third thing. If you find out, do not tell them.
Honytawk@feddit.nl 17 hours ago
If you put enough up there, sure.
You’d be like one of those PEZ dispensers.
Poach@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
I think there is only one way to find out…
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Doctors are giving this patient a new idea he’d never considered before.
Honytawk@feddit.nl 17 hours ago
It’s because those doctors already have anal beads up there.
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 23 hours ago
Doctors hate this one trick where patients stick spring rolls up their ass.
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Image
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
Chaotic Good Karen.