D_C

@D_C@lemm.ee

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Viscous scoundrels⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ve been on the internet since it was screechy dial up, and this is the first time I’ve seen it. Ty.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Misunderstood the assignment…⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  On the negative side now I know I’m not supposed to poop in my hands 😢

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Life hack⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I did not know this. Thanks!!!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm a bit freaked out⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Which is a bit unfair. I’ve not butchered any pigs, and I’ve only ever eaten one or two humans!!

  (My autocorrect switched butchered to buggered above. (Un)Luckily (?) I had time to proofread and catch it before posting.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨>:)>⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  “I’m scared, Poncho”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They're unstoppable⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  She’s always been a hussy 🤤

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They're unstoppable⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Wait, Marge is a hotwife?
  Brb, I’m, err, going to look for…things? unrelated to this conversation.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨He tried to give you the right answer⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Too busy looking at the penis like me, yeah?
  …
  Right?..right!!!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Love this⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  That half-pipe in the graph looks very tempting. I can’t wait until I’m 80 so I can be a cool skateboarder again.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨“This script is fantastic. Let’s get Julia Roberts to play Harriet Tubman.”⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m a top exec for a very big movie company and I hear you on this. No more Julia Roberts. Got it. Roberts out, Catwoman in. …

  Someone get me Michelle Pfeiffer on the phone. I have a great idea, Catwoman as Harry Tubmen.
  That’s an Oscar winner, right there.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨butt mogged these zoomers today⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Wait, I’ve crouched outside on many occasions, am I going to be arrested?

  I’ve also knelt down, is that also a sexual crime? I…I was just kneeling, officer.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Lemmy Shitpost⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Fucking casual.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Onion be onioning again⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  m.youtube.com/watch?v=SN7RQYVNYy8

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Never gonna loosen them laces⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:
  55. I bought a few pairs of slip in trainers.

  Or I use a shoe horn if I have to wear something else. Bending over is for rays of light and harlots!!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What a gentleman⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s exactly what I said last night when I was in a hot tub with David Bowie and Harry Potter.

  Anyways, it’s time for me to go and see my girlfriend. You won’t know her as she goes to another school, an errrm an astronaut school.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Saint > Pope⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes, but you’ve forgotten far worse things such as:
  The selling of documents to hostile countries.
  The alleged ‘wink wink’ Epstein island kiddie fiddling.
  And the adjudicated rape stuff.

  Though, in your defense, there’s so many abhorrent things he’s done that it’s easy to forget most of them!!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨May the 4th be with you⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Scott, is that you? Call the gang!!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pope⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  And both are evil cunts. There’s more to this, we must delve deeper!!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Literal interpretation⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Vids or it didn’t happen.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why am I seeing political ads for Donald Trump in April of the year of his second inauguration?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  He’ll not run again.
  However, unless he is stopped by the American people, or death, or death by the American people -wink wink- then his second term will be for as long as he wants it to be. Putin style.

  It’s up to the people of the USA if he is allowed to do that or not.
  I doubt they’ll do anything though. They’ll wait and wait hoping for someone else to do something and when they finally realise no one is going to stop him it will be too late. He’ll have taken over everything that could topple or stand against him and filled it with his cronies. The backwards school yard bully will have become the backwards despotic dictator.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Put him on the cart.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Pics or it didn’t happen!!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Even his doctors are full of it⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  About 143 kilos

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The poop psa absolutely no one asked for⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I hear you.
  Obviously, eat fibre etc etc. If that’s not possible then the bare minimum I’d suggest is getting some psyllium husk. It’s cheap and easy to get powdered fibre. Add a teaspoon to water and drink quickly. Or on your cereal, etc, and eat it.
  Though I personally don’t like the taste so I take it in water just before bed.

  Also, spray bidet. If nothing else then get one. It’s a game changer. There are ways to attach them to your pipes with no cutting, etc, as well.

  Have your monumental turd then spray and dab. Spray more if necessary.
  No more wiping and wiping. Just spray, dab, check, spray more if needed.
  Your arsehole will thank me.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Give us your craziest ocean facts. 🦑⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Same.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Asking the important questions.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  To agitate the fart in 20 years.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Late 1900s⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I know, I was playing along.

  I’ve also seen pictures of it being spelt in both different ways, and they both looked genuine. No idea if they were or clever fakes though

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Late 1900s⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  You spelt that wrong, mate.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Good morning. What's wrong honey? Part III⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Bah, humbug!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Physicists vs Normal People⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Too*

  (You asked for this. Asked for it!)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨At some point, you start to forget how old you are⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  Right there with you. I’ve been 27 for a good few years now, before that I was 26 for about 5 years.