Fuckfuckmyfuckingass

@Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How was your valentines day weekend?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Nice.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I can't be the only one seeing this⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Immaculately impenetrable.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mainstream media's face when Trump dies of a hamburger heart attack and they have to go back to reporting like they used to.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Is it a Fosters?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨people who drink, how long do your hangovers last?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Eat food ya dip.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Man Who Met Kit Duncan⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Gob Bless Ken M.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's just like it's pulling them from thin air!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s prolly more like millions I’d think.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's just like it's pulling them from thin air!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Actually home grown eggs taste much better than the shit-tier store eggs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Actually come to think of it, the dude she cheated on me with wasn’t either.

  How’d you find that out?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨So it goes⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The red alert siren started playing unbidden in my head.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Heartthrob with the flying elbow⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  …but have you tried running him over?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨There is a scene in Saving Private Ryan where a soldier gets shot in the helmet and it bounces off. Now a days soldiers seem to get shot in the helmet and it goes right thru. How come and why?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Well it’s a movie, so there’s that. Helmets primary use is to stop shrapnel and protect against bonking your head. I’ve heard stories of, and seen pictures of helmets stopping bullets, but there’s lots of factors. How far away did the bullet originate? Did it ricochet off something first? War is a very chaotic environment. Lots of weird things happen. There are stories from WWI and WWII where a bullet was stopped by a bible in a breast pocket, but it’s really up to random chance.

  I believe most modern helmets are rated to stop a 9MM, but beyond that it’s a crap shoot.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Are they finally doing a Ninja one? Goddamn, took 'em long enough. It seemed obvious to me after I played the 2nd one.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Would you do Onlyfans if needed the money?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  “As for asshole pictures, as far as I know, asshole recognition technology isn’t as developed as facial recognition technology yet.”

  Fecal recognition technology.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I need a flicker free LED lightbulb running in the 3000 K range.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Beautiful comment, I love it.

  Also: “pressuring users to move to “philips security” which will require your lighting to be connected to their servers 24/7.”

  Is the most unhinged boring techno dystopia shit I’ve read. It’s a goddamn light bulb, kindly fuck right off with that shit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Someone is already crying in the walk in, so can't go hit it in there.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Jesus, yea I’d say so. I smoke like 5-7 a day, and I think the only time I’ve ever gotten close to a pack was tripping balls. You might want to consider switching to rolling your own. It’s cheaper, and you can get waaay better quality tobacco and better quality paper.

  Another nice feature is the cigarette doesn’t exist until you make it, might help you cut back.

  Viva La Revolution!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Someone is already crying in the walk in, so can't go hit it in there.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I also smoke ciggys and it’s readily apparent. It’s not the same smell as burning flower, but kinda like when you crack a jar of real dank nugs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Someone is already crying in the walk in, so can't go hit it in there.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I can assure you that the pen does indeed smell like weed oil. A bunch of my coworkers will slink around the corner and blast a toke and insist there’s no smell.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Saint Luigi⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  How’d you know that thing about my balls?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Binary search⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  What Rumba said. Why full ass a job when half is plenty.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Binary search⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s the case with virtually every breaker box.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are Increased Colorectal Cancers Rates Linked to Using Laptops on Stomachs?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  “Safesleevecases.com”. I think they’re selling you something as opposed to reporting news.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Cooking advice⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Medium rare even.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bird Bath⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  “Tobacco Sauce”. That’s what I’ll start calling my morning loogies.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Claim Now!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Yep it’s gone.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Claim Now!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  YES

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why is Gen Z so Poor?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Calm down grandpa, your blood pressure can’t take it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mysterious Ways⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I think they’d be connected inside so if you stuck something in one far enough it’d come out the other. The Alpha and Omega of anal.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mysterious Ways⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Truly a parable of hubris.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The most powerful brain on Twitter⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Isn’t there a character limit on shitter?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Losing the pivotal extortionist vote⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Sighs, and begrudgingly resets a counter labeled, “Days Since I’ve thought about Martin Shkreli.” Then, I place my head in my hands and begin to weep.