Maybe they just forgot which cave they left him in, couldn’t find the right one later and then decided to commit to the resurrection thing rather than admitting that they lost him.
Praise jeebus
Submitted 3 weeks ago by diemartin@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/64008c82-41f2-4498-b55a-c0cad0c0d1a0.jpeg
Comments
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
Is that what they mean when they say “have you found jeebus?”
I always say “how did you cunts lose him in the first place, he was nailed to a fucking plus-sign?”
libra00@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
He was behind the couch this whole time.
FooBarrington@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My Brother in Chrysler, that’s a lowercase t
match@pawb.social 3 weeks ago
was jesus’s first name Kilmar?
zakobjoa@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
TIL that Jesus was 4ft tall.
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
People were a lot shorter back then
Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
And darker skinned
barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah, but where’s Sadam Hussein?
floo@retrolemmy.com 3 weeks ago
Happy zombie Jesus day!
daggermoon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Where the fuck is Saddam Hussein?
Mim@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
In a Schnitzelbrötchen in Erlangen apparently.
circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
He seems pretty short for a messiah
BootyfulBoy@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The short king of kings
Jerb322@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
People thought that Dalton would be taller too…
fleebleneeble@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.
n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Ramen
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
So Jesus Christ is the English translation for Saddam Hussein? Interesting, also short king.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
so being a made up pagan and growing up in a cult i don’t quite understand christianity. is the reason easter was so late this year because jesus saw his shadow on mardi gras?
diemartin@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
We all wanted a 420 themed easter.
TeddE@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The First Council of Nicaea (325) established common Paschal observance by all Christians on the first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the vernal equinox.[18] Even if calculated on the basis of the Gregorian calendar, the date of that full moon sometimes differs from that of the astronomical first full moon after the March equinox.[19]
They wanted “first Sunday of Spring” but defined using their calendar, but that calendar doesn’t mesh perfectly with our calendar (and has leap months every few years), so converting to Gregorian makes it appear to move around.
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
They just make shit up as they go and expect everyone to obey and call it the truth.
kiagam@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
the first Sunday after the full Moon that occurs on or after the spring equinox.
Definition of arbitrary lol
Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Jesus was tiny.
TheBat@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Resting place? More like hiding place lol
easily3667@lemmus.org 3 weeks ago
He had to come out cause he ran out of water.
Una@europe.pub 3 weeks ago
What? Jesus was shorter than 6ft?
j4k3@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
inssain
diemartin@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
It isn’t (probably)
MisterFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This feels like a Lemmy OC, is it?
diemartin@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
It isn’t (probably)
MisterFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Then it’ll just be so in my heart
libra00@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
TIL Jesus was only 5’ tall, and also red for some reason.
Jerb322@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Crown of thorns…
libra00@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Those must’ve been some really long thorns if he need to be made that much shorter for his crown to fit within the allotted 6’.
wick@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Short king
raoulduke85@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
His body is short bread.