Haha hahaha who would buy this! This is so funny! Does anyone have a link by any chance? So I can make fun of it there, of course. Totally not to make an offer. No no, I would never do that again. Trust me, I’m a professional couch fucker.
Love, JD
Only $50?
Submitted 17 hours ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/0d2f65c0-4fe1-45f3-a569-83534a7dbe5a.jpeg
Comments
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
SoloCritical@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
If they have to advertise no skeet…. There’s definitely skeet.
over_clox@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
JD Vance would like to know if this couch is still available
Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
JD: “no skeet yet.”
demizerone@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
OK GOOD!
InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
because he wants it back
mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 11 hours ago
malloc@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
It’s just a little piss, bro. Stop being a bitch
MeatPilot@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
goofystench@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
actually, squirt isnt technically piss but female ejaculate🤓👆
Darrell_Winfield@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
It’s piss. Squirting is pissing. That’s been proven beyond reasonable doubt. Will link when I find the research I came across a while ago.
kungen@feddit.nu 13 hours ago
Nothing wrong with having a piss fetish nowadays; you can call it what it is without shame.
Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Yes, but what most peoplecall squirt is actually piss.
EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 11 hours ago
Dude, piss baby was right there!
RejZoR@lemmy.ml 16 hours ago
Considering how much Belle Delphine was charging for her bottled bath water, this is bargain!
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Right? This is just a marketing problem. Charge $5000 and photoshop some bikini model on there.
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 hours ago
Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Well without skeet it’s clearly only worth $30 tops.
jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 hours ago
Quagmire would pay $5000
thatradomguy@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Legit question though—as someone who doesn’t get to participate in such activities but: do people who are active with this stuff and who perform it on a bed not wash it after hanky panky? Like I see in amateur stuff that some people definitely put towels on top of the bed and all that but hollywood movies make it seem like people still inevitably sleep in the bed naked anyway without washing themselves. So, all that grime is still bound to get on the blankets/sheets anyway. This has me thinking people do at least go out of their way to wash it or at least replace the sheets the next day but do they really? Asking for me…
Fizz@lemmy.nz 8 hours ago
Mattress protector so youre only really getting the blankets dirty. If there’s a massive fucking puddle I’ll usually change the sheets but otherwise I’ll just shower and change the sheets the next day. If I’m smart I’ll throw down a towel or a shittier blanket but I’m not smart often.
SirQuack@feddit.nl 14 hours ago
but hollywood movies make it seem like people still inevitably sleep in the bed naked anyway
As is customary, Hollywood is lying to you. You don’t fuck and be merry and fall asleep. The ladies usually go pee afterwards (helps for everyone to prevent uti) and with creampies a shower after is basically essential.
Replacing the sheets depends on how dirty they got, but it can usually wait till next morning. Sex is pretty exhausting and we are all a little lazy.
spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 hours ago
One of my partners squirts like a fountain, and we just put a towel or 3 down to catch it so she doesn’t have to sleep in a wetspot
Fortatech@gregtech.eu 17 hours ago
Reminds me of a certain American politician…
realitista@lemm.ee 13 hours ago
Well… as long as it was done gently…
Vanilla_PuddinFudge@infosec.pub 14 hours ago
flips the seat over
buggybug@sh.itjust.works 49 minutes ago
uh… what does a roughly squirted on couch look like then 🥲