tourist

@tourist@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨For people who want to play their favorite games but are unable to, what are you currently doing?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I would probably be unable to buy a PC or console ever again.

  Shit dude, that’s rough
  If I may ask, what happened?

  Otherwise, no nearby gaming cafés? They’re usually reasonably priced

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Microsoft layoffs are reportedly underway, with ZeniMax and King employees losing their jobs⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  people just don’t want to work anymore

  NO

  THEY CLEARLY FUCKING DO

  BUT YOU FUCKING GREEDY CUNTS KEEP FIRING EVERYONE AND TAKE FAT FISCAL QUARTER BONUSES

  AND THEN IT’S A 19 STEP INTERVIEW PROCESS WHEN THEY TRY TO LOOK FOR A NEW JOB

  AND THAT’S IF THEY’RE “LUCKY” ENOUGH FOR THE DOGSHIT AI TO RANDOM.CHOICE() THEIR RESUME OUT OF THE 900+ OTHER DESPERATE APPLICANTS

  THEN THEY FINALLY SOMEHOW GET AN OFFER: $1.89 per full uninterrupted hour at your desk and a single bag of skittles (opened)

  Sorry for the caps, I’ve been in the job market recently and it’s fucking brutal. I have to constantly justify my value as a human being and then just face rejection after rejection.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'll be doing their dad sooner then 5 years⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I genuinely don’t know how to answer this question

  “I really don’t know, man. 5 years ago I did not see myself having lived through a global pandemic, be clinically institutionalized twice and have fucking AIs argue with me on the internet. You might as well ask me to describe the 5th spatial dimension.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Imagine going to the hospital for help… and the CIA secretly gives you LSD instead.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The stories from Abu Ghraib alone make my skin crawl.

  That was 20 years ago. I can only imagine it’s a lot worse for people detained by ICE right now.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨EA CEO Andrew Wilson got a nice pay bump last year, while the company's workers earned less on average⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Fuck it, if I worked there, I’d straight up just steal from his office while he’s doing bumps in the bathroom

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Maybe its for the best stranger. I say weird shit.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s nothing personal

  I’m not comfortable around anyone

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Sign me up⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I will swim across the Atlantic ocean if that’s what it takes

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't tell me what to do.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Image

  DO NOT SHOVE SPRINGROLLS UP YOUR ASS

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨no way right⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m declaring war on Iran because the Ayatollah fucked up my McChicken ☝️ and we don’t like that 👐 they say sir how do you fuck up a McChicken and I tell them it’s too much sauce and you can’t do that

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The real question is, which color?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  emergency perc purity ring

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨wtf i love capitalism now⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  pay the gay unaway

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Suggestion⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  the feds confiscated my laptop because I kept sending them extremist laughables

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Basically⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  100 year old artifact

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's the dream⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  do not put your pets in an air fryer

  they will not live longer

  but then again I haven’t actually tested it, so maybe

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Nuclear family⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Ive seen these JD Vance facemorphs so many times that when I saw an actual image of him the other day I almost couldn’t recognise him

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Cool shirt?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’d respect it

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Cool shirt?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Every other technique I’ve used to attract goth girls has failed so I’d be willing to try this

  As far as cringe goes, I feel like it has some self awareness baked in, so it’s not the worst, but yeah nah if I saw a 40 year old man wearing this I’d wince a bit

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We don't have⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  but what about ball sport

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We don't have⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Okay so let me think out loud

  August is month 8

  It takes 9 months for babby to formed

  Okay so 9 months prior to August is…

  Wait fuck does that include the first month

  No wait yeah

  So human mating season peaks in December

  Makes sense.

  In the north, it’s too cold to go outside and play ball sport, might as well impregnate partner.

  In the south, it’s too hot to go outside and play ball sport, might as well impregnate partner.

  So the solution to the declining birth rate is to criminalize ball sport

  I will take my findings to the UN

• You ever just take a shit so huge it boosts your mood after?
  Submitted ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨20⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I've got something special for you⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Mr Stamina

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They don't get it. They think we are A holes. And they are right⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t know what it is, but if you tell me “You shouldn’t laugh at this because only 13 year olds laugh at this” before you show me something, I will involuntarily laugh 200% harder.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Avocado⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I imagine that’s not the best place to find a sample of clean penises

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨So which one?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I didnt even know he was sick

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Wet your hands with clean, running water, turn off the tap, spread cheeks, and apply soap.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Wash hands before boofing psychedelic mushroom

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Grow up⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Rough, because my solution to fatigue is to drink enough caffeine to cause severe heart palpitations and chest burn

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't like em? Ghost em⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  romanc

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Did they already take the porn?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Killer name for a garage rock band

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Me too⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Which is your favourite

  (that you can disclose without fully incriminating yourself)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨i broke⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  stop smoking marijuana