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Be prepared

⁨556⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/572e5935-c19e-4c42-84f3-f6c49ed6c5b0.jpeg

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Comments

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  • rustyfish@piefed.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Needs a cheat sheet for his own name. I like this guy.

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    • toynbee@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Doctor Who: "Look, they gave me a badge with my name in case I forget who I am

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      • jjj@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I don’t know what that’s from, but the premise of “person thinks name tag is for their benefit” alone would be funny enough even if it was actually a name tag.

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    • Pixel_Jock_17@piefed.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Used to get so black out wed write our address on our arm and just point to it when the taxi or cops came.

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    • RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Probably not his name, but still solid

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    • zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The name was my favorite part. Like he’s the worst spy imaginable.

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  • kboos1@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    $75k salary, a house, a boat, a lake house, and a trust fund. What year is this?

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    • Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This is Mississippi, Meridian; $30k is middle class.

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    • Duranie@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      “a house” Shares a duplex with a drug dealer. “a boat” Dealer took a guys boat who racked up debt, but it’s sitting mostly in your backyard. “lake house” Their street floods regularly. “trust fund” He trusts the money he keeps hidden in the back of the bathroom sink is still there.

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    • LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Debt is a hell of a drug

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    • PapaStevesy@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Doesn’t matter what year it is if your parents are stacked.

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  • NoraLenderbee@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Pace yourself, 5 beers an hour lol

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    • Smug_Marmot@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Sounds more like he’s in sales than finance.

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    • tourist@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Highlighted

      implying he regularly exceeds five beers per hour

      it’s been a while since I had a drink, just over 5 years

      but a twelve pack and some shots lasted about most of the evening for me

      Guess I wasn’t much of a drinker?

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    • justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      depends on the beer…

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  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Really hate when I forget my own name in the middle of a date.

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    • nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      He’s drinking 5 beers/hour, it’s a good precaution.

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    • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Getting your legends mixed up is bad tradecraft

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    • linkipinki@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I though the joke is that he made up a personality to pick her up

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  • Mac@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Disclaimer: i recognize this post is a joke

    You will never find the Honda you’re shopping for if your filters are set to Toyota

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    • hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I bought my toyota before he went crazy.

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  • danekrae@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “Astrology is such bullshit. Flowers hate sex, so they get bees to do their dirty work. I’ve never heard of the Colleen hoover, is it a good brand? Primus sucks. I feel I could be on a main character in Grey’s Anatomy. I like you woman, you don’t talk much, unlike that Taylor Swiftmouth.”

    Why am I single?

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    • BreadOven@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Primus sucks!

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’ve really been wanting to get into astrology. Do you want to go to the local telescope depository?

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      • hansolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        All you need is a star chart and a sense of wild abandon.

        What’s your sign? Born in March? Yes, looks like you’re an… Ursa major! What good fortune!

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      • TheFunkyMonk@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I was chatting with a bartender about my telescope a while ago, and the woman sitting next to me asked me when my birthday was. I told her the month, and asked why. She said “it sounds like you know a lot about astrology.” I said “oh no, I’m into astronomy,” to which she replied “same thing.”

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  • Seimhe@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Neurodivergent people: where can I buy this?

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    • peopleproblems@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The real trick to relationships for neurodivergent people is that you REALLY need to date other neurodivergent people.

      It’s so much easier than having to explain why you need a nap after the neighbor set off fireworks in the middle of the day while you were trying to mow the lawn.

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      • TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Damn… you just described me.

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      • BurgerBaron@quokk.au ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That was oddly specific AND relatable.

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      • Seimhe@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Hard agree

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    • seathru@quokk.au ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      For anyone windering. Its called a “wrist map pouch”.

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    • slaacaa@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      www.apple.com/shop/buy-iphone/iphone-duo

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  • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    5 beers and hour max? Now that’s a responsible man.

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  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If pacing yourself is five beers an hour what is Michael’s regular intake?

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    • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      4 beers.

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    • darthsundhaft@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This is one of them SAT type questions that I’ll never learn to solve. Hats off to you.

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  • balderdash9@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Honestly, more men should wear thick soled shoes on causal dates. Women have so much help to boost their natural attractiveness; we gotta even the playing field.

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      get your shirts tailored

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  • Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Nah, just spend the week before the date going over all that stuff in your head over and over and over, making sure it basically the only thing on your mind. Practice ALL the conversations you’re going to have. over and over again.

    Then when things don’t go exactly as rehearsed, panic and blurt out something stupid. If she laughs, she’s a keeper - and if she doesn’t leave she has flag color blindness.

    Perfect system.

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    • bstix@feddit.dk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Soo my hobbies? Yeah, Uranus, I mean stuff in asstrophyligy, like I’m really into cancer … Yeah and boats.

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  • Battle_Masker@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Five beers an hour WHILE there’s a tequila shot right next to him

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    • hansolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      That’s just to get up the nerve to drive over there.

      … Wait…

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  • Zkuld@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    ok, in which freedom units do I have to think, such that 5 beers/h falls under “pace yourself”?

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    • DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      12 ounces (350ml) or 16 ounces (470ml) would be typical for an American beer.

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  • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Armand play calls are cool but the radio in the QB helmet is the way to go

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