KingJalopy
@KingJalopy@lemm.ee
I’m the king. Of jalopies.
- Comment on Anon confesses a secret 5 minutes ago:
Cumbox was worse
- Comment on so how do the kids defeat this clown, stephen? 30 minutes ago:
??
Profit
- Comment on Me looking at your posts like 1 hour ago:
Please don’t
- Comment on me when theres soup 1 hour ago:
Guaranteed to break down even the toughest oils
- Comment on be 400 pound fat fuck 4 days ago:
Checkmate atheists
- Comment on Bugs 4 days ago:
I’m doing my part!
- Comment on 2025 be vibin' 4 days ago:
I need that emoji on my phone keyboard that’s super cute
- Comment on 🤯🤯🤯 1 week ago:
Radiation did a number on those poor sea creatures
- Comment on 🤯🤯🤯 1 week ago:
I mean he’s an absorbent sponge that lives in bikini bottom…
He’s a tampon.
Sandy cheeks…
- Comment on 🤯🤯🤯 1 week ago:
Get the fuck out of here. This thread is Easter egg gold
- Comment on Dredd Sheeran 1 week ago:
Judge Redd
- Comment on Does anyone use a phone without a protective case? 1 week ago:
I have a case on my $79 Motorola lol. Even if I ever bought a $1000 phone (I wouldn’t) I would still put a case on it. Unless I trying to flex 💪🏼
- Comment on Anon has an unexpected day 2 weeks ago:
That is wild so many of us are best each other lol
- Comment on Anon has an unexpected day 2 weeks ago:
You might be right, but what’s an ⅛" between friends?
- Comment on Anon has an unexpected day 2 weeks ago:
Lol, I have 2 employees that live there. They will fuck you up if you mispronounce it
- Comment on Anon has an unexpected day 2 weeks ago:
Right, my poor dog thinks we hate her so if a sudden because we walk every night but for the last 2 days with no ac we won’t even let her in our laps less yet go walk. Fortunately AC gets here tomorrow morning. 107° instantly after months of awesome weather is brutal. No time to acclimate, fuck you, you fucked the planet, deal with it.
Reminds me of that movie They Live… Mother nature’s a bitch, and she’s in heat
That movie is so great. Just shitty tag line after that line delivered by America’s most prestigious thespian, Roddy Piper.
- Comment on Anon has an unexpected day 2 weeks ago:
Oh shit nice. I see your shit here all the time, that’s awesome. Since you’re from the area I live in Auburn. Even up here it’s too fucking hot right now! My ac went out Thursday and as I’m sure you know that was perfect timing… Bout to take my ass to Tahoe if it doesn’t get fixed soon and sleep in a hammock I swear.
- Comment on Anon has an unexpected day 2 weeks ago:
Yeah I live in California and there’s a million cities that are not pronounced the way they are spelled. It’s like California has to be unique and everything. I live near a city called Lodi. (Low die) And another called ione (I own uh) then there’s my favorite, Los Banos which is ABSOLUTELY NOT SPANISH FOR TOILET! IT IS LOS BANE OHS!! Lol, it’s actually cool how different regions will mutilate similar words based on who the fuck knows what
- Comment on Anon has an unexpected day 2 weeks ago:
In America at least we generally use 4’x8’x¾" or ½" to cut corners. Where I live fire resistance is important but I’ve been out of the construction game for awhile so I’m not sure if it’s code here. I do know that in shower areas we use purple/green board for obvious reasons. I live in California now and I suspect fire wall is code here but I’m not certain. I live in a house built over 100 years ago so it’s all plaster.
In general just use sum gyp.
- Comment on Anon has an unexpected day 2 weeks ago:
There’s a city (town) in Oklahoma called Miami. If you pronounce it as you would you’d be quickly and redneckedly corrected. It is pronounced “my am uh” as anyone with a shred of sophistication would already know.
(It’s actually a native word, but still, I like jokes. They hide the pain)
- Comment on Anon has an unexpected day 2 weeks ago:
What a gyp
- Comment on Anon roleplays as Kif 2 weeks ago:
😮💨
- Comment on Realistically 2 weeks ago:
Trying, tryharder!
- Comment on Realistically 2 weeks ago:
Reddit, redditor!
- Comment on Realistically 2 weeks ago:
We’re you trying to re-traumatize everyone? Fuck that video. There’s maybe 3 videos ever online that can do that and that video is 2 of them, at least.
- Comment on Realistically 2 weeks ago:
Simple. Seen this a thousand times.
Freeze frame - cue narrator
“I bet you’re wondering how I ended up here…”
Then I fuckin bail before the freeze frame is over.
Roll credits.
It’s obvious you all haven’t taken American media seriously, and it’s sad. The great story tellers of our time have spent countless hours and mountains of money to teach you lessons from the annals of history and it consistently falls on deaf ears to the inevitable demise of civilization.
One day people will tell tales of the great visionaries such as James Wong, true prophets of times long past who spent their lives and vast borrowed fortunes attempting to warn the masses of future catastrophes as foretold by the wise and all knowing producers, the forgotten gods of our times, who sacrificed their own lives and hard earned connections, in a fruitless attempt to spare future generations from the predicted inevitable rise of death itself, using math to systematically destroy us one by one.
If only we had paid attention and not been distracted by the irresistible whores of Hollywood who tempted us with dreams of superheroes and anthropomorphic stones assuming the the roles of so called “actors”, posing as “action heroes” we might leave a better legacy for the future generations of content consumers who will surely mock us for our ignorance as they smash that like button.
- Comment on Got some more folks?? 2 weeks ago:
That’s cute. OP thinks they’re the one who is fucked here lol
- Comment on Challenges accepted. 2 weeks ago:
I’ve seen diabetic family members so fucked up they ended up in hospital.
Then again that’s because they weren’t on their drugs…
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
Phones and computers are only limited by your ability to understand and use them. That said, the majority of people I know give me shit for my android while simultaneously asking me how I did a thing on my phone like change permission settings, or have YouTube with no ads without paying, or how I was able to send automated text messages at certain times. But it’s cool because their iPhone “just works”…
Yesterday at a meeting a coworker (a manager) said he didn’t have that particular app we were discussing so I sent him a link to download, he got frustrated and said, “it says I don’t have a compatible phone dude wtf?” I asked for his phone and he was trying to download an app from the Google play store… I didn’t realize he had an iPhone until then. I said that’s the android app store, and he was like dude I have an iPhone it should work. He truly did not understand why it wouldn’t work.
Long story short, it’ll be locked down. Because the majority of people have no idea how the magic box in their pocket works at all, as long as it “just works”
- Comment on Touch grass. 2 weeks ago:
Yeah it’s a rental house so it was there when I got here. Been a huge pain in the ass. It directly on my driveway so when I cut it I have to cut it flat to the ground or it will pop my fucking tires.