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Anon measures up

⁨386⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨greentext@sh.itjust.works⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/2abcde9e-31e8-4320-906e-da5569816d30.jpeg

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Comments

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  • rustyfish@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I don’t know who needs to hear this, but:

    Do not take dating advice from people who never dated.

    Do not take relationship advice from people who never had a relationship.

    Do not take sex advice from people who never fucked.

    And especially do none of these things on 4chan.

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    • Nangijala@feddit.dk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Seriously, I have been in a relationship for a decade and a half and some of the relationship advice I have seen men give other men on the internet the past several years tells me that they have never been in stable relationships themselves.

      It also tells me that most of them have no clue what women want.

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      • whostosay@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        You know what a woman really wants?

        Have meaningful conversations, clean up a little bit, eat puss, sometimes cook food.

        This isn’t rocket surgery.

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      • Dreaming_Novaling@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Quick video about what body type women think is attractive vs what men thought women think is attractive.

        Spoiler alert: Most men think they have to be ripped like a Marvel superhero while most women thought that shit looked scary and wanted the slightly toned body or the dad bod.

        Please don’t starve/dehydrate yourself, take steroids, and stay at the gym for 5 hours everyday. Exercise and be healthy because it’s good for you and that you love yourself. Be as normal as you can be. Take a shower, clean your room, do hobbies and activities, including outdoor ones.

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      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        That’s why I only give advice to people trying to break up.

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    • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Marriage advice from priests? Hell no.

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      • termaxima@programming.dev ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Depends on the religion

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    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Only take the advice of people you want to end up like. It’s such a simple concept that so many people don’t heed

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    • markovs_gun@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      A better way to say this is “don’t take dating advice from the Internet” because it’s not just 4chan where you’ll find shit designed to make you feel bad about yourself and how you look to try to sell you something- whether that’s a product or an ideology. It’s everywhere.

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    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Ask jesus’ wife

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  • Fleur_@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    To every guy feeling a little self conscious about size, try putting something the same size as your penis inside you. It’ll feel a lot bigger after that.

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I prefer to put something larger in me (last time was a sandwich)

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      • MTK@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Yeah but for sex to be pleasurable for both parties chomping the thing going inside of you to pieces is considered a dick move

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      • Schal330@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Baguette sandwich 🥖, normal sandwich 🥪?

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    • Landless2029@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Less painful. Take a piece of paper and cut it your your length and girth. Then hold it up to your face.

      Looks way bigger up close.

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    • Allero@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      While it may sound weird, it’s actually super true.

      You’ll be amazed at how long it actually is once you try to slip it out.

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    • OhVenus_Baby@lemmy.ml ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      😂 I am dead. It’s time to get off lemmy for the night.

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  • Allero@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Let’s put that super clear:

    There. Is. No. Good. Dick. Size.

    There are ladies that prefer 7 inches, and ladies that prefer 4.

    Some will not feel it deep enough, some others will say it hurts because it’s too deep.

    Just…make sure you and your partner find a way to make good use of whatever you’ve got. Select poses that will set you on the right depth, do magic with other sorts of penetrative and non-penetrative sex, and just listen to each other’s bodies.

    Also, to everyone who goes with “big dick = alpha” shit, you’re both wrong and make it hard to unfuck some guys’ minds on what makes them good for sex.

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    • Anomalocaris@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      if you have a dick at all you should consider yourself lucky. half the population are born with a condition that causes dicklessness.

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      • exasperation@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Yes, it’s true.

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      • Allero@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        It’s just a negative penis size!

        (But really, clitoris is kinda a derivative of penis)

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    • Owlboi@lemm.ee ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      correction: there is a social stigma that having a big dick is good, thus having a big dick is good.

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      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        stigma - a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one’s reputation.

        I’m not sure what word you meant to say, but I don’t think “stigma” was it?

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  • DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Aight, so whomever needs to hear this. The average vaginal canal is only about 3-4 inches long and might lengthen to about 5 inches if relaxed. Despite what bad porn anatomy might tell you it can hurt to go deeper than that. All of the nerve endings are clustered at the opening.

    The prostate is two inches deep. Virtually all the same mechanics apply.

    Your penis is fine.

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    • BreakerSwitch@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      This is the correct take. As someone well endowed, I get to either be real real careful and avoid a lot of positions, or date exclusively masochistic girls who want it to hurt. As a result, I have had the thought “I’m not sadistic enough for this girl” during sex before.

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      • DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yeah as a bottom with a large partner with delayed ejaculation I can say that while people seem to value length and stamina/lasting power in porn… the reality is there’s advantages to not accidentally knocking the absolute stuffing out of your partner and tiring them to the bone whenever you do the deed.

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      • pressedhams@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        What a humble brag.

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      • OhVenus_Baby@lemmy.ml ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Hitting the cervix does NOT feel good. Its painful.

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      • RBWells@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yeah. I actually do like big, occasionally. But also I like everyday sex, and with big guys you need some time between to heal & recover. This is NOT an advantage. Guys seem to think bigger is better, full stop. That’s just not true.

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      • weissbinder@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Some like to get their cervix poked though

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  • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    All dicks are good dicks, just like all boobs are good boobs. Don’t let your dreams be dreams.

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    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Well, except for Nixon

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      • altasshet@lemmy.ca ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        That one’s tricky

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    • Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      As a pansexual man, I’d like to second this. All genitals are good genitals.

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  • jballs@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Fake: Anon has sex with a woman

    Gay: Anon started this whole thread just to get guys to talk about dicks.

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  • TomasEkeli@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Remember having that boring conversation about size, and a girl in the group summed it up perfectly: “The most important thing is the guy it’s connected to”

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    • Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Have I met girls that will outright reject anyone who doesn’t have like 7 inches, or more? Yes. Have they been anywhere near a representative portion of women? No.

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      • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Like the women that are up front about their demands for prospective partner’s earnings.

        Sure, they’re honest.

        Honestly best avoided.

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    • Default_Defect@midwest.social ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Maybe when “small dick energy” stops being a common insult, I’ll believe that.

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  • Cruxifux@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Most chicks don’t know how big 5.5” is.

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    • gigachad@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I mean, as a European I don’t even know how big that is

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      • Allero@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        14cm

        I’d say it’s a fairly average European dick

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    • umbrella@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      or how tall 6 feet really is either.

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      • Nangijala@feddit.dk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Most women want neither, tbh. I think the internet has curated an extremely skewed perspective on what women want thanks to the manosphere. If you move into female-centric circles on the internet and listen to how we talk about men and what we want, it is a completely different solar system from the one the manosphere has perpetuated online the past few years.

        I for one, was absolutely obsessed with Joey Jordison (RIP, king) when I was a teenage girl.

        Image

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      • Cruxifux@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        I’m 5’11 and have the averagest penis ya done ever saw and neither thing has ever stopped me from getting laid or dating.

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      • TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        6 ft is just over 180cm

        i noticed that in metric countries people seem to think about height relative to 180cm, like Americans do with 6ft. (cept 180 cm is more like 5’11’')

        so 6 ft is 182.33 cm

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    • Anomalocaris@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      most chicks don’t even have one, they shouldn’t be judging dick sized

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  • RBWells@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Is that not an ideal size for most? It seems so. Don’t think anyone should say they are packing “only 5.5”, that’s at least average, maybe more. Preferences vary of course, but this seems a crowdpleaser size.

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    • mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What a coincidence! I call mine The Crowdpleaser

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    • tiddy@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Average in Canada, above average in america

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      • Schmuppes@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Shots fired.

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  • DeusUmbra@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    To anyone feeling self-conscious about their dick: My wife’s best friend was with a guy for years who had a 3 inch dick, and he was overweight. From what I was told, she enjoyed sex with him quite a bit, it was the rest of the relationship that was awful.

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    • Landless2029@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Statistically smaller equipment usually translates to developing other skills and being more giving in bed.

      Sex is about more than just your dick.

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I mean that doesn’t really help still bigger

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  • SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I’m 6’4 with a 6 inch wang and I was always kind of pissed that I didn’t get a proportionally large love muscle, until I saw multiple sources saying average is 5.5 inches. With average male height being around 5’10 this actually makes my crotch missile almost exactly proportional to my height, based on the averages. So guess I can’t complain.

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    • whostosay@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Dude I’m rocking 6.5 on a real hard day, and it’s going fine.

      More than that is for porn, and don’t get me wrong I do like seeing it, but everyone I’ve talked to has actual human feelings and doesn’t like being hurt. Giant dongs hurt.

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      • MTK@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Personally I think the ideal size really depends on the acts being done for each person. Some people can really enjoy an 8 inch going in their ass or vagina, some might prefer even a 4 inch for oral, some like chocking on it, etc.

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      • SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Kudos to you, sir, just for being cool.

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    • MTK@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Once knew a 6’5ish dude who had a 4 inch tool. I don’t how he felt about it but I can only assume he had sime struggles because of societal norms.

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  • j4k3@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Isn’t the world average supposed to be like 4 or slightly under at ~100 mm. Donkey Kong’s are like wildly mutated freaks. Porn just needs them because a camera is in the way so diagonosexnastics is required.

    It’s a rather dumb plot hole IMO. I never met a drummer rocket scientist type. I’m sure they are out there somewhere, but pounding the cervix like a drum is a boring tune fit for an absentee-alpha brain. If that is what a person is interested in – ehh just consider me tiny to maybe make you feel a little better.

    If you feel self conscious, become a roadie (bicycle). Everyone says I won’t wear the clothes and we all learn the clothes have a solid purposeful reason to exist. A few years of solid riding and you will not give a fuck about how anyone thinks of your junk. If you want to look, go ahead you dirty slut. I don’t care if you look or that you are a slut.

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    • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Does anyone know what this individual is trying to say here?

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      • BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Its interesting when its not obvious whether someone is on drugs or just isn’t very good at writing clear English. Maybe both? Certainly was a ride!

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      • ParetoOptimalDev@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Let bike rider spandex being revealing but necessary act as exposure treatment for your small penis complex?

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      • breakingcups@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Or why (at the time of writing) 14 people apparently upvoted them?

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      • starman2112@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        This is like interpreting Dickens, let’s see if I’m smarter than an English major

        Isn’t the world average supposed to be like 4 or slightly under at ~100 mm. Donkey Kong’s are like wildly mutated freaks. Porn just needs them because a camera is in the way so diagonosexnastics is required.

        They posit that the average penis is around 4 inches long, and that porn tends to employ people with abnormally large penises so they look better on camera.

        It’s a rather dumb plot hole IMO. I never met a drummer rocket scientist type. I’m sure they are out there somewhere, but pounding the cervix like a drum is a boring tune fit for an absentee-alpha brain. If that is what a person is interested in – ehh just consider me tiny to maybe make you feel a little better.

        Here it’s getting more metaphorical. They poetically compare sex with someone with a large penis to “pounding the cervix like a drum,” drawing a contrast against someone with a more standard penis who has to use it more intelligently (a “rocket scientist” in this analogy).

        If you feel self conscious, become a roadie (bicycle). Everyone says I won’t wear the clothes and we all learn the clothes have a solid purposeful reason to exist. A few years of solid riding and you will not give a fuck about how anyone thinks of your junk. If you want to look, go ahead you dirty slut. I don’t care if you look or that you are a slut.

        Here they’re poetically describing someone who receives anal sex regularly as a “roadie” or a “bicycle,” suggesting that once you’ve had a variety of penises of varying size inside of you, you’ll feel a lot less self conscious about whatever you’re packing.

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      • Rivalarrival@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Looks like some weird AI slop to me.

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    • GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      you are a slut

      but will you treat me like one?

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      • j4k3@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        take off your pants and find out

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    • Anomalocaris@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      because you used a gorilla as a reference, they actually have tiny dicks. so little in fact, that King Kong dick might be in the fuckeable realm

      no, you can’t unlearn that, I tried

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      • starman2112@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        I imagine the girth may be an issue with King Kong. 12 inches is manageable, but I have no idea how thick a gorilla’s dick is

        But also I’m aware of Bad Dragon. No matter its size, there are people who would enjoy it

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  • helpmyusernamewontfi@lemmy.today ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    pic unrelated…?

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    • lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Pic very cute <3

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  • Derpenheim@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I’ve met women who would tell you to get lose if you weren’t 8 inches. They were very much the minority of women I’ve met, and among them, very few would be women I’d like to be associated with.

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