I hate being on ladders, I’ll stay down here with the penises.
Stop touching your stuff!
Submitted 1 month ago by ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/9349eb87-3a8d-4c99-91bf-534120c65a14.png
Comments
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Thanks for assuming it’s a handful
Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 month ago
What if I make a penis ladder?
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 month ago
What songs lyrics are these fire verses???
Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 month ago
This is gonna drive me insane wondering what tune you sung those words to in your head. 😬
Darohan@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
Bloodhail by Have A Nice Life?
“Faces sweaty, arms and legs, what a glorious set of stairs we make” 😉
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 month ago
If the boners are consistently rigid enough, you might be able to space them out a little to allow for a wider climbing stance, considering the tip-to-tip pressure would be unlikely to generate much added support for your bodyweight.
toynbee@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Hopefully it doesn’t take more than four hours to ascend.
zloubida@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I know it’s shitposting, but even if we accept the idea that God would be interested by what you do with your own body when you’re alone, isn’t the whole point of the Bible that you don’t have to climb to go to heaven, but accept God’s grace?
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Some would even argue that the point isn’t to accept god’s grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
zloubida@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Yes, I agree. I meant the point about heaven 🙂.
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Some would even argue that the point isn’t to accept god’s grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
slackassassin@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
hperrin@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
So stop at every rung to jerk off. I’m not in a hurry.
velummortis@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
What about two penises
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Protip: you can climb perfectly well if said dicks are in your ass.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Wait, I have to climb all the way up there? No thanks. I’ll rather stay down here and spank the monkey.
pulsewidth@lemmy.world 1 month ago
modifier@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
I was literally touching my penis when my eyes alit on this post.
My first thought was that this was an incredible coincidence, and worthy of remark, but now I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m subconsciously handling this thing more than I realize.
Prime_Minister_Keyes@lemm.ee 1 month ago
🎶 What’s love but a second hand in motion. 🎶
realitista@lemm.ee 1 month ago
No!?! Watch me!!!
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 1 month ago
TBH I could easily climb 1 handed if I tried.
realitista@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Just switch which hand grabs your johnson as you climb each rung.
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I hoping to ascend and not to climb. I’ve gotta say, I’m worried that after a while god might not be able to do it. Like he gets me half way up and then I just kind slowly drop down to earth… And hes like all apologizing … “Sorry, it’s been a long day. This has never happened to me before. Maybe we can try again in the morning.” So on and so on.
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
I can sure send the guy to heaven though…
Holyginz@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Fuck that, I better at least get a damn elevator.
Juice@midwest.social 1 month ago
You say that, but what about St. Paul who is definitely in heaven and was a pathological gooner
DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Sex gives you STI STOP SEX NOW
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
Oh fuck, for free???
I love Subaru
Professorozone@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Touching your penis IS heaven.
Allero@lemmy.today 1 month ago
Aw, thanks :3
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Plot twist. The ladder is made of penises.
djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
Hey who said I had to have my hands full of my own penis? I don’t need to touch it to masturbate, and I’ve touched plenty of other guy’s penises. Is my “ladder to heaven” just going to be made out of every guy I slept with? Seems a bit sexist.
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I mean, wouldn’t you have fairly strong grip strength with a lot of “practice?”
bstix@feddit.dk 1 month ago
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I guess someone with that condition could climb the ladder in a hurricane.
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
Unless you’re climbing a penis ladder
Omgboom@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
Even if I have a Jacob’s ladder?
M0oP0o@mander.xyz 1 month ago
“Hands full of penis” is a great title.
Mrs. Jane “Hands full of penis” Smith or Mr. Samuel “Hands full of penis” Finch
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Hands full of penis is my new album
M0oP0o@mander.xyz 1 month ago
I don’t know if that would be a great or the worst. But I am down for it.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 month ago
No… I like touching myself way too much
Dabundis@lemmy.world 1 month ago
You will never touch your penis with your hands full of heaven ladder
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Bold of you to assume I want to go to heaven with all of those “good Christians”
I would consider that an eternal punishment
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 month ago
I didn’t think we were supposed to climb to heaven. Isn’t that what the tower of Babel was about?
Professorozone@lemmy.world 1 month ago
LOL. Must learn to think before I speak/post. So hard.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Fuck you. I’m waiting for the shuttle anyway.
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
You can hang onto the penis of someone who’s climbing.
joyjoy@lemm.ee 1 month ago
You can also buy an auto-jacker and go hands free.
rockSlayer@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I love living in the future
DickFiasco@lemm.ee 1 month ago
Does the auto-jacker go on the penis or the ladder? Honestly sounds like it could work for either one.