I hate being on ladders, I’ll stay down here with the penises.
Stop touching your stuff!
Submitted 2 months ago by ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/9349eb87-3a8d-4c99-91bf-534120c65a14.png
Comments
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Thanks for assuming it’s a handful
Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 months ago
What if I make a penis ladder?
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 2 months ago
What songs lyrics are these fire verses???
Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 months ago
This is gonna drive me insane wondering what tune you sung those words to in your head. 😬
Darohan@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Bloodhail by Have A Nice Life?
“Faces sweaty, arms and legs, what a glorious set of stairs we make” 😉
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 months ago
If the boners are consistently rigid enough, you might be able to space them out a little to allow for a wider climbing stance, considering the tip-to-tip pressure would be unlikely to generate much added support for your bodyweight.
toynbee@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Hopefully it doesn’t take more than four hours to ascend.
zloubida@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I know it’s shitposting, but even if we accept the idea that God would be interested by what you do with your own body when you’re alone, isn’t the whole point of the Bible that you don’t have to climb to go to heaven, but accept God’s grace?
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Some would even argue that the point isn’t to accept god’s grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
zloubida@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Yes, I agree. I meant the point about heaven 🙂.
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Some would even argue that the point isn’t to accept god’s grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
slackassassin@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
hperrin@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
So stop at every rung to jerk off. I’m not in a hurry.
velummortis@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
What about two penises
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Protip: you can climb perfectly well if said dicks are in your ass.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Wait, I have to climb all the way up there? No thanks. I’ll rather stay down here and spank the monkey.
pulsewidth@lemmy.world 2 months ago
modifier@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
I was literally touching my penis when my eyes alit on this post.
My first thought was that this was an incredible coincidence, and worthy of remark, but now I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m subconsciously handling this thing more than I realize.
Prime_Minister_Keyes@lemm.ee 2 months ago
🎶 What’s love but a second hand in motion. 🎶
realitista@lemm.ee 2 months ago
No!?! Watch me!!!
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 2 months ago
TBH I could easily climb 1 handed if I tried.
realitista@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Just switch which hand grabs your johnson as you climb each rung.
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I hoping to ascend and not to climb. I’ve gotta say, I’m worried that after a while god might not be able to do it. Like he gets me half way up and then I just kind slowly drop down to earth… And hes like all apologizing … “Sorry, it’s been a long day. This has never happened to me before. Maybe we can try again in the morning.” So on and so on.
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
I can sure send the guy to heaven though…
Holyginz@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Fuck that, I better at least get a damn elevator.
Juice@midwest.social 2 months ago
You say that, but what about St. Paul who is definitely in heaven and was a pathological gooner
DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Sex gives you STI STOP SEX NOW
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Oh fuck, for free???
I love Subaru
Professorozone@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Touching your penis IS heaven.
Allero@lemmy.today 2 months ago
Aw, thanks :3
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Plot twist. The ladder is made of penises.
djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Hey who said I had to have my hands full of my own penis? I don’t need to touch it to masturbate, and I’ve touched plenty of other guy’s penises. Is my “ladder to heaven” just going to be made out of every guy I slept with? Seems a bit sexist.
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I mean, wouldn’t you have fairly strong grip strength with a lot of “practice?”
bstix@feddit.dk 2 months ago
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I guess someone with that condition could climb the ladder in a hurricane.
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Unless you’re climbing a penis ladder
Omgboom@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Even if I have a Jacob’s ladder?
M0oP0o@mander.xyz 2 months ago
“Hands full of penis” is a great title.
Mrs. Jane “Hands full of penis” Smith or Mr. Samuel “Hands full of penis” Finch
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Hands full of penis is my new album
M0oP0o@mander.xyz 2 months ago
I don’t know if that would be a great or the worst. But I am down for it.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 2 months ago
No… I like touching myself way too much
Dabundis@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You will never touch your penis with your hands full of heaven ladder
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Bold of you to assume I want to go to heaven with all of those “good Christians”
I would consider that an eternal punishment
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 months ago
I didn’t think we were supposed to climb to heaven. Isn’t that what the tower of Babel was about?
Professorozone@lemmy.world 2 months ago
LOL. Must learn to think before I speak/post. So hard.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Fuck you. I’m waiting for the shuttle anyway.
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
You can hang onto the penis of someone who’s climbing.
joyjoy@lemm.ee 2 months ago
You can also buy an auto-jacker and go hands free.
rockSlayer@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I love living in the future
DickFiasco@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Does the auto-jacker go on the penis or the ladder? Honestly sounds like it could work for either one.