This is close enough to reality that I’m irritated.
Subscribe now for more clicks!
Submitted 3 weeks ago by Gork@lemm.ee to [deleted]
https://files.catbox.moe/6t18s3.jpg
Comments
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
DmMacniel@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Close enough? Ma dude, Logitech really wanted to do this shit, but has to backpedal after getting massive flak.
FelixCress@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I didn’t believe you so I googled it and you are correct. For fuck sake…
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Quickest way to make me DIY my own mouse.
GreatAlbatross@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
It’s reminding me of the 3rd party utility apps on the Apple Store.
They seem to have ditched “limited features for free” in favour of “nothing at all until you subscribe, first 7 days free”
Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Do not read aloud from a book that summons demons. Not even as a joke.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Well, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve read in a while. I have a Trackman from 2004 that’s still plugging along, no subscription software updates required. If your stuff isn’t shit, it lasts forever anyways.
Breadhax0r@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I remember back when Logitech was a brand that was known for quality.
psud@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
I have a mouse that plugs into a COM port as my 286 doesn’t have USB or PS/2. I’m not entirely sure how old it is, but I’d be surprised if it post dates 1990
Anyway, good luck making a forever mouse when the main cause for replacing mouses is their connector being out dated
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
My current led mouse has been going for 10 years with no signs of slowing down, so take that sub and stuff it
Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
You know what, I’d be all behind a subscription mouse so long as it includes periodic hardware upgrades and unlimited warranty replacements no questions asked so long as the subscription is paid.
Admittedly, I’d be trying to figure out the most interesting ways to actively destroy mice to make them rue the day they thought a mouse subscription was a good idea, but that’s beside the point. Why no, I can’t return the damaged mouse, it’s at the bottom of a hole in the woods no human has been down since the civil war. Just like it was none of your business how I found out that the mouse isn’t resistant to hydrofluoric acid.
synapse1278@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s all fun and games, until it becomes real and people buy it, then all competitors align and it’s the new norm.
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
your red pixel clicking cartridge has run out. you wont be able to click on any other pixels until you refill your red pixel clicking cartridge.
NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Third party clicking cartridge detected. Please purchase a supported cartridge from Logitech, or our partnered retailers.
Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
It’s a meme now. Give it a few years and it’ll be more than a meme.
modifier@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
One man’s meme is another monster’s inspiration
superkret@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Drink a can of Monster to continue clicking
Kornblumenratte@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
WELP. Can’t say I’m surprised.
cmrn@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Oh god oh no I used my last click now I can’t select a plan
Anti_Iridium@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yes you can! Only $0.10 per additional click!
ByteMe@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
And how will I click that? Oh, it’s automatic! For our convenience!
Gorusnor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
☹️ but i cant click to subscribe.
Valmond@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You can, but it’s 10 cents a click!
KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Just buy a second mouse. C’mon dude, it’s like you’re not even trying to pay!
GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
puts dollar near CD drive
it actually takes it
Holy shit.
I have a CD drive!
sudo42@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You can only click after watching
3511 ads.telllos@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Data pack work like that, the page to order the data pack doesn’t cost anything to reach.
I would assume that the app would have click working
taiyang@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It’s a good thing that market is so saturated that there’d always be a cheap uncomplicated mouse with all your features, unless you’re some sort of MMO mouse person.
That said, a company can probably still sell this to the government with enough lobbying. Those chumps love wasting cash on subscriptions they don’t need (looking at you, Adobe Cloud).
queermunist@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
That’s why they’ll make it so Windows requires your mouse to have official Microsoft drivers for compatibility.
Hupf@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Hahaha, Windows, lol.
fox@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Living in 2024, I’m not even sure if this is a joke or not. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a subscription for damn oxygen soon. Oh, wait, that’s taxes!
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s only partially a joke. I can’t remember who but some company was bragging about their subscription based mouse they had in the works.
Breadhax0r@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This reads like an onion article. Who’s constantly buying new mice? And they’re trying to target consumers who “don’t have both a mouse and keyboard” by trying to sell them a $200 mouse…
I’ve been using the same razer chroma I bought 15 years ago and it’s still perfectly fine.
5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Unless you pay a carbon tax or pay taxes that pay for CCS, taxes aren’t supplying air.
Irelephant@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
I can navigate with keyboard shortcuts.
udon@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Business idea: The mouse manufacturers play the middle man in the click economy. Users can add an extra “click safety” package for $3,99/month, which prevents them from clicking on ads/misleading content. “Good” and “ethical” advertisers can get in touch with the “business communication” office of the mouse manufacturers to buy exception deals, because “their ads are okay”
pivot_root@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Vim users are laughing from their high horses.
Agent641@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
They won’t even see the ad because they can’t get out of Vim.
coffee_tacos@mander.xyz 2 weeks ago
“I can get out anytime I want, I just like it here” - vim user
FelixCress@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Is it HP mouse?
OpenStars@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
is Logitech known for this? Not this exactly, I get that it’s a meme, but enshitification in general? I have a Logitech mouse and haven’t experienced anything that’s particularly money hungry other than the initial pricing and I think a twitch popup or something stupid
Toes@ani.social 3 weeks ago
move those decimals over one.
Add a free tier and base it around gacha mechanics.
andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Every now and then there’d be a duck hunt bird flying over your windows and it would stop turning only if clicked. This is accumulative, meaning you being AFK gives you two, three ducks flying over your desktop, up to the arbitrary limit of 255.
Toes@ani.social 3 weeks ago
Ah yes and once you’ve reached max duck you get a 90 second ad for essential oils or you’re free to click all the ducks.
problematicPanther@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Don’t give them ideas
humanspiral@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
I’ve managed to pay under $20 for all I can click mice. They last more than a year typically. Even with tariffs, I’m getting a chinese mouse, and y’all can f the f off.
acidrobot@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I see you’re getting a subpar keyboard rate
Mesophar@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
That honestly sounds like a bad deal. Before recently replacing it, I had a $35 dollar mouse that lasted through 12 years of heavy gaming. Either you are inhumanly rough on your mice, or you might want to spend a little bit more for something quality.
zerkrazus@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’d just get a mouse that doesn’t have this bullshit before paying for this. I’ll buy used if needed. I’m not subscribing to a fucking mouse.
maiskanzler@feddit.nl 2 weeks ago
Nah, I already got the 24,99 family plan that includes 500 premium clicks every month. I just hope they don’t follow through with their crackdown on account sharing.
Rubanski@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
What do those premium clicks do?
Test_Tickles@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
When you click a button it’s actually two events, a button down and a button up. That is how you are able to grab something and move it, by clicking and holding and then later releasing.
Premium clicks include both the button down and button up events. Non-premium clicks are button down only.
CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
I want to know what priority support looks like for a mouse.
Like what questions would you ask? How would they troubleshoot before sending you to tier 3 support?
actually@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Enhanced clicks use AI to help predict where you want to move the mouse and pre-clicks it, saving some time and effort .
The elite plan allows game cheats in selected games developed by trusted partners .
Not at all responsible for wrong clicks.
ByteMe@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Is scrolling extra?
andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I’d like to unironically place this popup on public office laptops in order for users to collect themselves and stop being afraid of touchpads and keyboard commands.
Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
10000 clicks a month? Man I might do that in a day or 2
Mwa@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
We need to reverse engineer this software so it can be used.
superkret@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Laughs hysterically in XMonad
4oreman@lemy.lol 3 weeks ago
thats a good deal
GreenSkree@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
They missed so many opportunities to make it actually a nightmare. Adding these should help…
Standard plan: 2 DPI settings. (50, 32000)
Premium plan: 3 DPI settings! (50, 100, 32000) Ad Free!
Pro-gamer plan ($45/mo) Mouse acceleration toggle 1 customizable DPI settings (more available @ $5/mo each) Middle mouse click functionality unlocked! (Bound to backspace. Customizable binding @ $2/mo) AI tooltips to suggest when/where to click next. ($5/Mo to disable) Cloud backup*
*Requires Internet connection. Mouse falls back to standard plan and settings when not connected. Requires device reboot to re-enable subscription after disconnect.
negativenull@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Thanks Satan
bangsnooter@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
This hurts to read.
Archer@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
How long could a mouse take to reboot, Michael? An hour?
NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
$10 for unlimited scrolling!
Valmond@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
And it will anti cheat a little on the cheap tier when you play games.
dutchkimble@lemy.lol 2 weeks ago
At least this provider gives unlimited free scrolling!