How do I... Do court? I didn't realize my license was expired and got pulled over. Now I have court tomorrow.

Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Aeao@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

I know the obvious of being polite and respectful. do I show up early like an airport? Do I just show the guard my ticket? Anything I should know or be aware of?

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FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Dress as well as you can, be on time or a little early, don’t piss off the judge.

Be honest.

if you’re wanting to talk to somebody before hand… they should have a public defender you can speak to. Bring relevant paperwork.

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- tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Be prepared for the public defender to ask you two questions then shun you the rest of the day while they tend to their other 30 clients that day
  
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  - Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Do I need a public defender? I didn’t intentionally do anything wrong I just didn’t know my license was expired? I’ve got a clean record it was just a mistake.
    
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FireTower@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
We have no clue where you are so we can’t give any good advice. For all we know you live in Elbonia and driving without a license gets you the guillotine.

But

Show up ~30 minutes early, there will likely be metal detectors and a line at them. If you are in line be ready when you get up front, if you need to empty your pockets do that before you are at the detector. This makes it faster for everyone.

Showing up early will also give you time to find your courtroom in the building. It also will let you watch the court for a few minutes before your time to shine.

Turn your phone off. Court house rules might require you leave it outside.

Dress appropriately, a polo should be fine. Any collared shirt tucked in with pants and closed toed shoes will show you put some effort into dressing yourself. No hats unless you’ve got to for your religion.

It’s the judge’s courtroom don’t interrupt them. Don’t lie. And being on your best behavior starts the moment you step onto the lot not when you enter the room, be polite to court staff as well.

Read the ticket front and back for specific instructions. Check the court website to see if there’s any announcements that you should be aware of (like local rules).

Don’t listen to other people’s advice on how you should plead. We don’t know the facts of your case. Most people here aren’t lawyers. Nothing here is legal advice.

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- EddoWagt@feddit.nl ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  We have no clue where you are so we can’t give any good advice. For all we know you live in Elbonia and driving without a license gets you the guillotine.
  
  Rule no.1 on the internet: If they don’t tell you their country of origin, its the US
  
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  - FireTower@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    “the US” doesn’t narrow it down much. I kinda assumed that much. What really matters if which one of the 50+ legal systems in the US he is subject to. And which courthouse he is going to.
    
    This is going to 100% be a state law matter, unless he lives somewhere like D.C. or Puerto Rico which aren’t states but fall under federal jurisdiction.
    
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  - Cryophilia@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Less true on Lemmy, but still a fair assumption.
    
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- orcrist@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Best behavior is subjective. Talking less is usually smart, but some people mistakenly believe it’s good behavior.
  
  (Which is to say, the above comment has good advice, but it’s not universally reliable. Use your own judgment or pay a lawyer if your judgment sucks.)
  
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jagged_circle@feddit.nl ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Tell the judge you’re a sovereign citizen and he has no authority over you. If they try to touch you, just call “help! I’m being kidnapped!”

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- Allero@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  To be super clear: this is a joke answer, NEVER do this.
  
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  - Tja@programming.dev ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    But if you do anyway, please record it.
    
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MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Don’t argue with the court or the judge, keep your personal comments to yourself. If you disagree with the ruling, keep your mouth shut about it, thank the judge regardless of the outcome.

A lot of “turn the other cheek” applies here. Anything less and you will be held in contempt of court and it will make things worse.

Listen carefully, speak when it’s your turn to speak, don’t talk over anyone, especially the judge.

Beyond that, be honest, and don’t conceal the truth. Do everything you can to be a good participant in the system. Arrive early and if you can, watch what others do and learn from their actions. What they do, what they say, and especially what not to say or do.

You’ll be fine at the end of the day.

Also renew your damn license ASAP. Don’t drive the vehicle that got the infraction (duh), and if possible, get a ride to the courthouse and back again, whether that’s a friend, a taxi, an Uber/Lyft, it doesn’t matter. If the judge decides to put you in jail (unlikely, but possible) you don’t have to worry about your vehicle being towed or something, and you won’t get additional fines as you travel there.

All the best OP. You got this.

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- MapleEngineer@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Renew your license today. Going in with your license renewed will help.
  
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- Xanis@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Two final things: If you do accidentally speak over the judge apologize and admit your mistake.
  
  On that same vein, be honest, especially with simple responses. We hear mostly about the bad judges in the system. Reality is most are fine and will treat you fairly, if you treat them and the court with respect.
  
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Cenzorrll@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I’m a bit late, but I used to testify in DUI cases and have sat through many court sessions.

First, you didn’t commit a crime, you made an oopsie. Don’t stress out too much, a lot of people just don’t show up, you’re a light in the dark for just showing up.

Wear nice clothes, put together the best you can with what you have, don’t go buy a suit for traffic court. Slacks and a collared shirt (no visible holes or worn spots) is typically enough, especially if you’re living paycheck to paycheck. Save your money for fixing the situation, not looking nice. Looking nice does help and shows respect to the court (judge) but trying to fix things on your own without them intervening makes you look even better.

Explain that you made a mistake and accidentally let it lapse. Talk to the public defender if you can. They are overloaded with cases but will help, court proceedings and the language they can use is confusing.

Try to make amends now, renew your license, sign up for whatever you need to sign up for, if you can’t afford to renew let the judge know that you’re walking/biking/bussing to work until you can afford to renew/sign up/etc. Ask the court for mercy since you have a clean record to the best of your knowledge and are already taking steps to remedy the situation.

Be very nice, the judge is the law in their courtroom, the only person with more power is the court stenographer because they get to correct the judge.

Bring receipts or any proof that you have of what you’re doing.

As many have said DO NOT DRIVE YOURSELF TO COURT.

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y0kai@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Don’t wear a hat. Judges HATE hats.

Idk what hats ever did but they’re automatically guilty in a court room.

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- Routhinator@startrek.website ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  This actually stems from long forgotten common courtesy to remove a hat when entering someone’s home or place of business.
  
  bestlifeonline.com/rude-to-wear-a-hat-indoors/
  
  It’s an ancient custom dating back to the days of knights, and generally courteous when visiting some one new or entering any professional establishment.
  
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  - thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    don’t wear hats in the house white boy
    
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- Illuminostro@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  [deleted]
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  - PriorityMotif@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Or just wear your work clothes because you work for a living. That’s better than trying to get dressed up to look better.
    
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rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Did you fix the problem? If so, just show that you fixed it and they will probably drop it.

If you haven’t fixed the problem, be prepared to explain yourself.

In any case, be prepared to deal with the fine immediately. Even if you have to use credit. Judges never want to hear that you cannot pay a fine same day.

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- Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  There’s no way I can deal with the fime immediately. That’s kind of information is exactly what I was asking about…
  
  I live paycheck to paycheck. I don’t get paid again until next week.
  
  They really expect people to pay the unknown fine immediately?
  
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  - rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Yes they do. It’s not a show stopper if you can’t pay, just be honest. “No sir/ma’am, I cannot pay that today as I live paycheck to paycheck. May I set up a payment plan with the clerk?”
    
    Judges see it all the time and really since you don’t have any actual charges there’s nothing they can or will do to you.
    
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  - Pandantic@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I have been assigned public service for the same offense when I could not pay my fine. I worked at a food shelter for a couple of days (sorting donations, packing bags with cans, etc) and was good. You may ask the judge or public defender if that’s an option.
    
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HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Leave your weed in the car. Get a ride to court if you’re not doing zoom court.

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- Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Also, if it’s zoom court don’t drive while your zoom court session is going on… seems like it would be obvious, but someone literally did that a few months ago.
  
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  - dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Well that guy wasn’t actually banned from driving if I recall, it was all a mix up and not his doing.
    
    Still, better to air on the side of caution.
    
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Anticorp@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
It’s a bit late now, but you should have immediately renewed your license after receiving the ticket. Your best defense would have been “I forgot, but I have already renewed it”. Since you didn’t do that, and you don’t have an attorney, and court is tomorrow, I’d just be honest, and let them know that you will go from the courthouse immediately to the DMV, or DoL, or whatever it’s called where you live, and renew it. Hopefully they don’t suspend your license for driving without a license. Other than that, get there on time, dress nice, comb your hair, don’t be intoxicated, or on any drugs, and refer to the judge as Your Honor. Good luck.

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ulkesh@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
It’s simple really. Be honest and reasonable to the judge, and they will likely be reasonable back especially if this is a first offense. Give only as much information as requested, though, never offer information unless you’re certain it won’t be used against you.

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- Anticorp@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  never offer information unless you’re certain it won’t be used against you.
  
  Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
  
  Offer only as much information as is necessary, even if you’re sure it won’t be used against you.
  
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  - Cethin@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Special emphasis on against. Theirs no “in favor” there. They have the burden of proof and you can’t really defend yourself out of it, only poke holes in their argument (which you almost certainly aren’t going to be able to do if they present any, so mostly just shut the fuck up). Admit the license was expired, because that’s not in question. Don’t admit really anything else that may be important, but be respectful and honest.
    
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joe_archer@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Be humble, apologetic and polite. Explain the facts, don’t offer opinions.

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Pacattack57@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Go to the dmv asap to get the license, ideally before court. If you get it done, show your new license to the court and they will dismiss your case, (hopefully)

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AnAustralianPhotographer@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
If it was me, I would go in, dressed smart casual, be on time, polite, own up to the issue, say sorry I forgot to get it renewed and I hadn’t realized it needed doing, inform the judge of any mitigating circumstances that might have distracted you and ask that because it’s your first offence if they could be lenient as there were no other aggravating factors (speeding, drunk, crashed car with injuries rtc).

Was the car or truck in pretty good condition ?. It’s what I’d try if all indications are you are an otherwise legal and safe driver. I’m not asking for you to answer to me, but they seem relevant to a judge. I hope things work out ok for you.

The only other thing I could think of is if someone could be a character witness but the court might not want to hear them.

Maybe you have a good reason to ask for the fine to be waived if you have sick kids etc, or have been saving for a worthwhile cause and this would be a major setback or a penalty like losing your license would make you unable to work or look after kids.

If you are pleasant and don’t make things harder then they might have discretion to adjust the penalty and decide to do so. But the law might also be written so the judge has no say in the penalty or a minimum penalty is required.

I know of some drivers over here if they have an established safe driving record they can write and ask for a speeding fine to be reviewed and possibly waived (if it was just a few kms over, cant see it work gor 30km/h+ over).

I think there’s also been a few cases where people who would otherwise have their license suspended over here get an exemption for work etc.

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- Cryophilia@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  Maybe you have a good reason to ask for the fine to be waived if you have sick kids etc, or have been saving for a worthwhile cause and this would be a major setback or a penalty like losing your license would make you unable to work or look after kids.
  
  Judge waived a ticket for me because it would have made me unable to work.
  
  Also, to be fair it was a bullshit ticket. Raining, slick road, spun out, solo accident. Doing the speed limit, not distracted or intoxicated. But county laws say that every accident gets a ticket for negligent driving, regardless of circumstances.
  
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Crackhappy@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Sweet summer child, just be honest and forthcoming. Admit fault, pay your fine. Be the person that contributes to our society instead of the downfall.

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- Cethin@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Be honest and respectful, but don’t admit more fault than you need to. Yeah, you fucked up driving with an expired license. Admit to that and be humble. The judge is dealing with much worse than that even just that day. If you’re not an ass, the judge may be nice if you’re lucky. However, don’t admit to other things that can’t be proven. They are required to prove that you did something wrong, which obviously the license thing is easy and there isn’t a doubt over. If they try to make you admit it’s intentional or anything else, you don’t have to say anything.
  
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Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Court? For an experience license? Where do you live?

I was pulled over for speeding and my license was expired. I got a ticket for my license being expired )which wasn’t that expensive) and the cop told me I couldn’t drive home. I asked her if she’d drive me home because it was one of the worst days of my life (long story) and she told me she’d be happy to. She did not give me a speeding ticket. My mate drove me to renew my license, and I mailed in the 85-ish USD for the ticket. No court.

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Starbuck@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
It might be too late, but if you have your license renewed bring that up to the judge. They will ask you how do you plead, I wouldn’t try to pull any shit with the not guilty plea. Just say you plead guilty, it was a mistake, and you renewed it immediately.

I had my state inspection expire and it was dismissed by the judge. Just dress nice, be respectful, and tell them it happened and you fixed it ASAP. You will still have to pay a court fee, so you won’t get out of jail free, but not having points on your license is worth it.

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- Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I haven’t renewed my license yet. In my state I have to take the written test again so two appointments at the DMV
  
  Im also in retail management so between COVID call outs, holiday roll outs, and a hurricane… I haven’t had a day off in months.
  
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  - Mac@mander.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I personally would schedule something even if i know i cant make it so i can tell whoever i talk to that i have it all scheduled.
    
    it won’t look great if you’re taking no action toward correcting the issue.
    
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  - Starbuck@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    That’s a bummer. I would have a plan for how to get to the courthouse without personally driving, otherwise the judge might take offense with how you arrived there illegally and do something more drastic.
    
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johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
You might not even go to open court for this. A lot of times for minor traffic offenses there’s just a standard deal they give you.

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NecroParagon@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I’ve been to court a few times, once for a traffic incident where I hit a pole and totaled my car. Got an improper lane usage ticket. I just showed up in regular clothes, went to the front desk thing and asked where my courtroom was. They made us wait outside of it until it was time. Then I just plead guilty or whatever and had to do one of those driving classes. I wouldn’t worry too much. Yours isn’t that serious either.

Honestly kinda shit of the cop to make you go to begin with.

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- lud@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  Honestly kinda shit of the cop to make you go to begin with.
  
  I thought you really only had to get to court for speeding if you denied settling the matter with the cop there and then. So you are not forced to go to court but if you want to dispute the ticket you have to go to court.
  
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  - Rekorse@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    It depends, in some areas that part where you either accept by default or choose another option is part of court. In my area they clear out everyone who is taking the default judgment at the beginning and then go through the rest one at a time.
    
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muculent@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
If it was just a traffic ticket you can hire a traffic lawyer for fairly cheap if you don’t want to go to court or would like the comfort of someone there for you who does this often. In CA, I’ve seen this typically cost around $50 for handling a traffic ticket. They can get most tickets dismissed or at the very least the fine reduced. If a cop no shows it gets dismissed.

Best to get it renewed asap though as previous commenters suggested, then it becomes a non-issue, so a trip to the DMV might be a good idea. I’d head your DMV website since the address varies depending on the state you’re in. Renewing a REAL ID may require you take a short refresher course and provide two documents that prove residency, one that proves identity (US Passport, previous license, SSA card, etc) they’ll tell you what you need on there though.

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- phoenixz@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Why could an expired license possibly require court? It’s an administrative issue at best, should require a 50 dollar fine for the mistake and we all move on
  
  The US legal system is a giant abusive mess
  
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  - muculent@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Agreed. Unfortunately this is what happens when you attach dollar amounts to key performance indicators for effectiveness with policing. Fines = revenue for government so they try where they can. It’s why carpool lanes are so heavily policed here. The base fine rate is higher.
    
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  - Rekorse@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Oh you are in for a treat. I spent time in the local jail when I was much younger, and was surprised that some of my fellow inmates were in there for some absurd things. The two that stick out are:
    
    Driving without a license - apparently if you do this more than once, good chance they will just take you jail and impound your car, and if you can’t afford bail you wait until court, which is weeks or months.
    
    Unpaid child support - I actually have no idea the logic here. You have unpaid child support, so we will put you in jail, charge you 30$ per day to be paid upon release for “housing”, and guarantee you have no way to earn money.
    
    The bail and housing fees are not actually specific to those crimes, it applies to all crimes but really compounds things in some situations.
    
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dumbass@leminal.space ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Don’t wear a shirt, cover yourself with some form of grease, you MUST bring a goose (anger level is up to you) and last but certainly not least, you have to walk in the court room singing the opening lines of Get Low by lil Jon.

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- Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Glad I asked I had no idea. Do I need to make the hand motions when I get to “skeet skeet godamn”
  
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  - spankmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    YES
    
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  - dumbass@leminal.space ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Just doing my part to make the world a better place!
    
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- BreadOven@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Get a Canadian goose. Those things are crazy at times.
  
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- eestileib@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  “Cop Killer” by Ice-T and Body Count is also acceptable entrance music.
  
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muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Pls update us with the result tommorrow

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BlameThePeacock@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Dress well

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- Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Yeah, that’s one thing I’m worried about. Powers out because of the hurricane. I’ve got black jeans and a polo shirt clean.
  
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  - FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    That should be fine. It’s traffic court, not a murder trial, just don’t show up in a ratty shirt if you can be in nicer.
    
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  - Nollij@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    The bigger thing is to look like you put effort into your appearance. Everything clean, no wrinkles, etc. Dress as nice as you can within that. Think whatever you would wear to a job interview.
    
    You will probably (and should) be dressed better than most of the people there. It does get noticed, and will help you out.
    
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Hikermick@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Dress fairly nice. No shorts, no wacky t-shirts

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- Tudsamfa@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Also works for the other kind of courting.
  
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militaryintelligence@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
A cop giving a ticket for a simple expired license is a dickhead. Don’t say that in court.

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- EatATaco@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Lol what the fuck? Why on earth would anyone get a license if there were no punishment for not having one? Also I assure you that they didn’t get pulled over for having no license; they were breaking another driving law.
  
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  - militaryintelligence@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I said expired, not suspended. Not the same thing and you know it
    
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Today@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I went once for something similar - maybe registration - i can’t remember. I got there early and asked the clerk what to do. Before court started someone came out and made a deal for me to pay half the ticket, plus court fee (like $30) and get it resolved. Went with my DIL who had her license suspended many many times. Clerk helped us get the hardship paperwork and the judge was firm about following the rules but nice about explaining them.

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BearOfaTime@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
There’s lots of resources online specifically about your state, that will be important, as every state is different.

In one state where I lived, you had the right to transfer moving violations to criminal court (the court for tickets was generally a Justice of the Peace, which is an appointee, so a legal education isn’t required to be one).

Criminal court has higher requirements for everyone involved, so it can be useful for defense purposes. It also costs more, both for the state and for you in court fees (fines will be the same). The advantage is the state is motivated to plea your charge down to clear the docket. I’ve seen this many times, for everything under the sun. But, every state is different.

I assume since you have court it’s because this is your first ticket, and you’re young - not sure why they do that, but it’s not uncommon. I guess they want to put the fear of the legal system in you. Had the opposite effect for me, saw it was just a process, that goes on all day, every day. Later tickets you just pay.

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- Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Actually I’m not young. Im 35 but I drive like an old man so never even get tickets much less had to go to court for anything.
  
  I’m assuming my chance of going to jail over this is low but I’m still worried about it. Ive never been to jail and that would cause me to miss work and I need my job.
  
  I don’t know if criminal court would be a better option because I can’t think of something lesser than letting my license expire accidentally.
  
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  - rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    You aren’t going to go to jail. This is an administrative ticket, you didn’t even do anything wrong like speed or run a stop sign.
    
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  - LesserAbe@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Like others said. you’re not going to jail. You’ll be ok. You’ll get a fine and maybe points on your license.
    
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Illuminostro@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
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- Default_Defect@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Just say “No contest” though, spouting off latin makes you look like a dork.
  
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Dagwood222@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Get there as early as you can. They may have free legal aid on hand.

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toynbee@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
How’d it go?

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Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Ok, here’s what you do. Basic step 1, and I can’t believe I even have to say this…but you GOTTA show up 45 minutes late, and completely wasted. Wearing clothes that have been worn daily for years, but never once washed.

Then, you INSIST there’s no drugs in your system, and you’ll give them a free urine sample right now! That’s when you whip out your cock, and power wash the judges face with your urine from 10 feet away.

Next…you need to INSIST you know the legal proceedings of a court better than the judge, the baliff, the cops in the courthouse, any public defenders or lawyers in attendance. YOU get to tell THEM what to do. Rememer, you’re entitled to everything you demand. They’ll respect you so much more for knowing how these things work. You’d be surprised how many disrespectful assholes show up in a suit, with combed hair, and brushed teeth, totally sober! It’s a disgrace that they would accept responsibility by saying they made a mistake, and plead no contest. How do they expect to have anal sex with the judge, and super models, and do cocaine, when there’s no reason for them to fear you. That’s how the world works!

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- Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  With this new solid advice, I had an idea and wanted to check with you.
  
  When they call my name should I ignore it, as to not seem too desperate.
  
  When they call my name again should I say “daaaaamn I heard you the first time! My license is expired not my hearing. Chill you’re shit nigga” (to clarify I’m unambiguously white)
  
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