Stop my parents from meeting.
the chance to do it all over again
Submitted 3 weeks ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/0d94a387-48da-485c-bab9-591b8405330f.png
Comments
Ariselas@piefed.ca 2 weeks ago
Save Sarah Connor
Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
Best answer by far.
sundray@lemmus.org 2 weeks ago
You’ll have to wait for the terminator to move on her before you zero him.
hansolo@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Other than Save Sara Connor, engine has this wrong.
Faking an identity is easy. Back then it was all paper, and for Americans, SSNs were only just barely standard. Say you grew up in some rural bumblefuck place and sign up for everything fresh. Full Tara Westover story would work.
Next, find your grandparents. Convince them you know them from something through a friend they’ve mentioned to you and crash on their couch long enough to get a basic job, then apartment, car, and grow a moustache. Which should take about 3-4 weeks. Restist your mom’s advances and attempts to take you to a high school dance.
Next, get to the west coast and start selling and buying up real estate. Buy and sell Hollywood back to itself until 1988. Then start buying real estate in New York. On the side, buy stock in all the classic tech companies, Nintendo, and in the military industrial complex. By 1993, you’d be a millionaire. From there, do whatever you want. Buy early and sell AOL stock. Blackberry. GE.
Then do good things in the world. Pull the fire alarms in the WTC at 8:45am on 9/11. Get a certain orange therapy so he stays with Ivanna for the kids. Invent Paypal first and steal the other half of it from Peter Thiel. Convince Woz, Gates, and Jobs that the future is in open source software. Find Linus Torvalds and mail him a billion euros. The morning before the Citizens United decision, bribe Clarence Thomas to abstain and pull the fire alarm. Mail Bernie Sanders $52 every week, anonymously. Get the pilots of Pam Am 103 super hammered the night before so the fight gets cancelled. Organize a London public transit boycott for 7/6/2005 lasting 3 days. Find the people that cancelled Firefly and murder them, wear their faces as a mask, and make sure the series goes at least 5 seasons.
You know, chill stuff like that.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Full Tara Westover story would work.
Who is Tara Westover? Nevermind, I’ll just Google i- FUCK.
hansolo@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Yeah, wild, isn’t it?
I grew up in a place not too dissimilar from how she grew up, with plenty of fundy LDS nearby. My wife read her book and was telling me about it, and the whole time I was thinking “Oh, good for her. Wait… do I know this person? I don’t know anyone named Tara…” Anyway, the world isn’t as wrote and straightforward as people think.
zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I have to say, this plan is well thought out.
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
Assuming I’m transported back as myself at my current age?
Figure out the whole identity issue (no paperwork), but then invest in Apple and Microsoft, wait it out a few years, stop my mom from marrying my dad, and help her figure out her medical troubles early enough to change things.
zeejoo@thelemmy.club 2 weeks ago
But what if you stop your mom from marrying your dad and then you just cease to exist because you’ve paradoxed yourself? 🤔🧐
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
Nah, Mama found out she was pregnant less than hour before walking down the aisle.
She said many times she wished she had not gone through with it once she knew. And while I love my dad, he was not good for her, or her business, or a great dad during his dad-ing years. He’s a lot better now, but all of us, including him, would have been better off if he’d been the guy we saw on weekends, y’know?
sicarius@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
What if heading never been born they become outside of time and can never die!
Mongostein@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Say “why’s it so dark in here?” from my dad’s nutsack
huquad@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
The boys are back in town!
Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio 2 weeks ago
Might as well talk some shit to the other sperm about what a bunch of slow-ass lames they are.
Jerb322@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Like my house blips to 83, or I’m 8 again?
House: sports bets
Me: sports bets
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
“bet it all on green”
“sir this is horse betting”
“GREEN”
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
“And the winner by a nose is GREEN THE BROWN HORSE!”
dektep@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
visit New York and take out some trash before it gets too orange
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Find evidence of Trump’s crimes and try to get him convicted, or at least discredited, before people even think about electing him
MisterD@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Great idea until you realize that the architects of project 2025 would have found a replacement that would be smarter and more capable to bring Fascism to America. It would actually make things worse.
nathanjent@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
smarter and more capable I don’t think you understand the part he plays. A smarter replacement may not have been so easily manipulated to follow their plans.
Nalivai@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
They still would need a charismatic leader in a position of power to do anything.
boaratio@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s funny that this has become the new “kill Hitler” move.
monkeyslikebananas2@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
What is my living situation? Do I have money? If I have the resources I’m gonna be planning a roadtrip to remove a bunch of future problems from the timeline.
mEEGal@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You must be fun at city councils
the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Cease to exist
Varesti@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Wait 3 years and tell my mom to get an abortion.
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Same
Xahvoc@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
See my brother and mother again.
W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Oof. Sorry.
Nouvellalia@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Fuck off even harder than I ever did, enjoy bikes and the woods and frogs and friends and arcades even more (if that’s possible).
Then in the 90s, invest in stocks, real estate, more stocks, then bitcoin.
OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Freak out coz i didnt exist then and dont know whose house i woke up in
Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
First I’d bask in all the social and financial safety nets that Reagan and the Bushes hadn’t been able to destroy yet. Watch some pro-union TV ads. Then try to meet Mr Rogers and Ramblin’ Rod.
Then I’d probably try to invent rechargeable lithium tetrahydride batteries a couple years ahead of time, use the money to invest in MS and Oracle, and funnel the profits to Enron and Bernie Madoff before their bottoms drop out. Once I’m too rich to jail, I’d have some other people I’d want to “meet”… while armed.
itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Do you know how to invent rechargeable lithium tetrahydride batteries right now?
Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
I know the chemistry and I know some of the universities working on it in the 70s and 80s. I don’t know how I’d get in the door with no credentials. I like to think I could talk myself into Oxford… it’s delusional, but I like to think it.
RaoulDuke25@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Your mom does
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Buy some shoulder pads and cocaine. Kill Elon Musk.
CrimeIsLegalNow@ani.social 2 weeks ago
That’s peasant talk.
Steal his future.
Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Then we’d just have an other Musk to kill.
dasrael@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
go back to sleep, too early for that bullshit.
YoSoySnekBoi@kbin.earth 2 weeks ago
Ur mom
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Top kek, xXxButtMuncher69420xXx
bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Go to kindergarten, same as always
Tiral@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I was born in 1983, so everything?
Monument@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
To my existing body?
I guess I would shit myself. It’s gonna be a bit before I can walk and talk and tell everyone of the horrors to come. I won’t really have autonomy until the 2000’s.In my current body?
I guess I take what little I know of that time period to try to send people to prison for Iran-Contra/prevent the crack epidemic, try to help blunt the HIV epidemic, get renewable energy moved forward, and other pro-social things. I’d give OJ a flat, so SUV’s wouldn’t have gotten popularized. I’d prevent the election of Bush in ‘00, and would give several politicians little nudges here and there. I would of course also become filthy fucking rich by using knowledge of the future (that I was actively changing).HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Jork it to some bush tri folds then look for a t top
AstroLightz@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Go back to sleep. Finally I can get the 43 years of sleep I always wanted!
Quilotoa@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Invest in CD players.
Jumi@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’d be broke af because I dont have the right currency and probably start a pandemic with some ultra resistant virus.
BaraCoded@literature.cafe 2 weeks ago
Sterilize one of my parent, whichever.
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I stop existing
Agent641@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The dream
SaltyIceteaMaker@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
nothing because my parents were barely in elementary school
cattywampas@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Buy some stock.
Uranus_Hz@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Buy Apple
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Or oranges, produce used to be mad affordable
toddestan@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I guess I don’t know the rules around this time traveling adventure, but hopefully you’re in it for the long haul.
I’d buy Microsoft myself. Perhaps sometime around the very late 90’s sell it then buy Apple.
bigfish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
80s? Get as big of a loan as you can from anywhere you can, then buy Hasboro, Nike, Disney, McDonald’s, Walmart. Then sell off Hasboro in the 90s to buy Apple or Cisco, sell McD’s and Nike in the 00s to buy Sandisk or Nvidia, and sell Disney in the 10s to buy Tesla, and enjoy your fuck off money from there out.