Monument

@Monument@piefed.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We ain't happy anymore...⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  We could try to whoop him, but he’s got a truncheon, a handgun, and a small Christmas ham hidden in his hat and he knows how to use them. They make him happy, you see.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We ain't happy anymore...⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Don’t be intentionally obtuse about the TV. People buy what’s available. Yes, there are edge cases, and no it’s not the argument you think it is to assume everyone has the foreknowledge, means, and wherewithal to employ one of those edge cases.
  The U.S. government does not offer its citizens a right to privacy against corporate surveillance, and that is not something you can blame on the average person.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm not saying you should...⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Why would I want to scoop ice cream into cubes? That’s the same shape as wallaby poop.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  You all have never met my cat.

  Look - I’m married, and I’ve tended to regard myself as a dog person my entire life. We got this cat like two years ago because my wife kept talking about a chihuahua, and that is a line I will not cross.

  So anyway, we get this cat for her, and he has clearly chosen me as his human. He spends most of his days in my home office. He’s constantly jumping into my lap. If no one else is around, he will loudly beg for my attention. He sleeps next to me. He lets me pick him up and hold him upside down at the furthest extent of my reach. He is my baby cat and I love him.
  (It’s okay, we got a very sweet kitten a year ago, and she has clearly chosen my wife as her human. She literally climbs onto her chest and falls asleep with her head on my wife’s shoulder every day.)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hey mods, would one of you please fix a thing?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh, no, not overnight, just that one rare Saturday morning that nobody wakes you up, the pets and or kids are lazing and you’re getting that excellent stolen morning sleep that just restores your body and heals your soul, allowing you to feel like you can keep going.
  But then there’s the clatter of tools and construction equipment.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hey mods, would one of you please fix a thing?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Just boring harassment.

  I’m going to go dig a hole next to your property. It’ll have all the correct permits, but I’m going to start construction while you’re sleeping in and I’m going to put a fence around it that prevents you from looking into the hole to see why I’m digging.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's taking forever⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh, of course! How silly of me.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's taking forever⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Why the fuck is that person not wearing their mask correctly?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tough choices⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Depends on the monkey’s paw.
  Total calorie immunity could be read as not being able to process any calories, including the ones you need to live.
  (I’m assuming the body would eat through reserve fat and then begin to break down its own muscles, even as the person gorges on food vs, like, almost insta-death if the body couldn’t even rely on its own stores.)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The musicians of the Boston Symphony Orchestra are poised to strike for the first time in their history⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  What does an orchestra strike look like?

  Do they all charge out at once on foot, or are pianist and tympanist on mounted drones or like, do the heavies stay in cover while the flautists, tromboners, and violinists charge out on foot to make some noise?

  (Look, I know. But I chose to interpret it this way. Because a greedy orchestra owner should start quaking in their monocle whenever they hear Flight of Valkyries while walking around seemingly empty streets at night.)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Had it coming⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Turdonuclear explosion.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Let’s see them⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I counted his fingers. Net because I thought the image was AI, but because the fetal alcohol face and the shirt made me wonder if he had the right amount.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I got your 6-7 right here, kids!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Some clever bastard figured out an exploit (buoyancy) and humanity has just been going ham on god’s plan of creating utopia since. He’s just been trying to come up with ways to wipe humanity without a full reset since and the fuckers keep out-engineering and out-breeding his efforts.
  Sooner or later he’s going to have to eat crow and reconcile with the god of Jupiter or with Sol to either fling a big rock from the asteroid belt or send a giant solar flare. It’s a hard sell, though. After bragging for so long about creating life, both are a little sick of Terra. Besides, they kind of like that more of Terra’s insane little creations revere them than revere Terra.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We've All Been Here⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I didn’t want to weigh in while the conversation was “hot” but as someone who survived a stint in foster care, and an extremely dysfunctional childhood, I tried to both avoid catching charges and also avoid putting her back into a situation where she was suffering abuse.
  She was here for about an hour before we called the police. Before we called, we checked with an attorney-friend (sorta, I told a buddy I wasn’t sure what to do and he asked his friend that practices family law). We also spoke with several of her family members. We ascertained she had run away from her mother, whom she had only lived with for a few weeks. She had been living with another family member before being kicked out. She tried to convince a friend’s family to take her in, but they refused. Privately (she used our phone, so I spoke with the other adult), they described her as someone who lies and is frequently in trouble, amongst other concerns. For a sweet seeming 13-year old, their list of concerns about her was long.

  She actually ran away again the next day and returned to our place. We called immediately that time, but the police had something come up, so they took several hours. We had her watch TV while we worked.
  When the police were here, my wife realized her phone was missing, and dinged it with her watch. The kid started ringing. I think everyone was surprised. She tried to run, and found herself in a room with no exit.
  We didn’t press charges about the phone. We just wanted the situation out of our life.

  My understand is that she went to go live with her mother again, although her mother (with out consent via the police) actually asked us to press charges on the hope that she would be detained for a little bit and change her ways. My wife’s phone is valued above the felony larceny amount and that would follow her for the rest of her life, so we did not want to go that route.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨YAME!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Who?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They really hate artists⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Honestly, I don’t even think it’s an artist vs non-artist thing.

  It’s a communication thing, and specifically it hinges on leading with curiosity, trusting the people, and clearly defining expectations (or, failing that, setting boundaries).

  I work in a different role now, but a large part of what I do is similar: interfacing between people of differing skill sets, expectations, and needs.
  I’ve found that if I don’t get in front of people, they tend to assume the other party is hard to work with or maybe even dumb, rather than merely approaching from their own frame of reference. It gets easier once people realize that no one is an idiot, and we’re all just trying to check different boxes, often without a clear idea of the others considerations.

  Except for that one colleague. Woof. Do they got blackmail on leadership or something? How do they manage to even feed themselves every day?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We've All Been Here⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  A few winters ago, my wife and I took edibles and then like a half hour noticed some weird movement on our porch.
  It was a 13 year old who had run away from home and snuck onto our porch. She was attempting to stay warm by huddling under the dog blankets we keep out there.

  After a short delay (figuring out what the hell was going on), we called the police. They arrived as the edibles were hitting and we had to keep our shit together while trying to talk to the cops about this kid that randomly appeared.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don’t want your license plate to rust now.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  As a person with modest theoretical knowledge and low practical experience in the matter (read: this might be an utterly bullshit idea), I kind of want to make a “Bluetooth shotgun” that responds to any AWK packets with a slew of spoofed info.
  If such a thing were possible, I would then make it also listen for responses, and log them with a geolocation. I would then spoof those responses every time an awk was received around that area. (This is because nonsense data can be filtered to reveal just the real responses - my device(s), but inaccurate real data would destroy the value of the surveillance.)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨SBA #205 isnk⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I have this sticker I keep on my water bottle that says:

  No one is coming to save you.

  You are the adult.

  And it’s the best daily reminder that I need right now.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Meme template⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Is that a tiny shark fin on the hood?
  This is why you shouldn’t let AI control your car. It saw the appliqué, glitched about what it was doing, and rest was history.

  —

  #SaltLife

  —

  “That lifeguard asked me if I knew my tides tables.
  First off, it’s times tables. Second, I’m not doing math at the beach.
  Idiot.”

  —

  Non-sequitur: I love the SaltLife decals so much. Their font is just so awful that every time I see “Slut Life” on a Jeep Renegade a 12 hour drive from the nearest ocean, I just think of the driver tarting it up every weekend. It makes me giggle.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨modern classic⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That gray laminate is an instant no.

  If houses had red flags, that gray flooring is one.
  The clear, obvious message I receive every time I see that flooring is that someone went for cheap, cookie-cutter shit over every possible other option. They didn’t care, didn’t think things through, and have certainly hidden problems or improperly installed other parts of their cut-rate flip.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Alas, like a dragon, there are some elements of my (and others) privacy that I hoard.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  You absolutely should.

  But as a word of advice: take really, really good measurements multiple times at different times of the day and rely on the largest measurement collected for a given area. Also, only buy one the first time you purchase.

  (The latter thing didn’t bite us, but could have. The elbows, of all places, are a touch too small and after about an hour start to become uncomfortable.)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s very charitable. I can see it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I sort of do this to my wife. She’s unbearably hot. Also sort of hates strangers.

  I’m kind of the attention seeker, but she will dress up for me sometimes. Last year we went to a Halloween party where she wore a black skin-tight snakeskin patterned catsuit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  At peril of stating the obvious:
  You did. You commented.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gotta shit the right way⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Side-saddle gang.

  I don’t know if I was a small kid or potty trained early, but I distinctly remember having to sit sideways until my parents got an adapter seat, because my (likely malnourished) skinny ass would wind up in the water if I sat straight on.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Now that's a real flex⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I’d wager that better than 90% of people’s nipples are smaller than their butthole. Their areola, however…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mister!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  If I travelled internationally, this would be the wallpaper of my burner phone. Trauma for privacy.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨when you eat a cherry cordial, do you bite off the nipple and suck out the cum first?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Are you free this weekend?