Monument
@Monument@piefed.world
- Comment on 2027 gonna be our year Lemmy! 1 day ago:
She could do squats, but if the yard is any indication, she hasn’t been within arms length of the ground for a while.
- Comment on 2027 gonna be our year Lemmy! 1 day ago:
Is she a tarted up Megamind?
- Comment on Young, Dumb, and Full of Press Releases 2 days ago:
It’s weird - a parasocial relationship that has replaced real ones, and the person just does product placements at you. But it works for some people.
I’d rather talk to my cat. The only thing he tries to get me to buy is cat food. And a million small toys. - Comment on Young, Dumb, and Full of Press Releases 2 days ago:
I’m not sort sure if you’re aware but because voter registrations are public records, it’s documented that she registered as affiliated with the Republican Party in June 2024.
- Comment on Young, Dumb, and Full of Press Releases 2 days ago:
I didn’t know who the woman with the misspelled first name was, so I looked her up. I was sure the joke was that she is a porn star. Nah - some kind of social media influencer that moves a lot of products through banal videos.
In 2026, Earle claimed that the only book she may have read was Dr Suess, and other than that she has “never read a book”, despite having gained a degree in marketing.
Seems right for Trump.
- Comment on the chance to do it all over again 6 days ago:
To my existing body?
I guess I would shit myself. It’s gonna be a bit before I can walk and talk and tell everyone of the horrors to come. I won’t really have autonomy until the 2000’s.In my current body?
I guess I take what little I know of that time period to try to send people to prison for Iran-Contra/prevent the crack epidemic, try to help blunt the HIV epidemic, get renewable energy moved forward, and other pro-social things. I’d give OJ a flat, so SUV’s wouldn’t have gotten popularized. I’d prevent the election of Bush in ‘00, and would give several politicians little nudges here and there. I would of course also become filthy fucking rich by using knowledge of the future (that I was actively changing). - Comment on True story 1 week ago:
Okay, I feel you, but my real issue is that I don’t want them to dry my hands, I want several of them mounted high up on the wall so that after a shower I can just rotisserie myself in front of them like a car at the end of a car wash. Or like naked old men at the YMCA.
The problems are that they blow air that is too hot. You’re going to start sweating, and then why did you shower?
And also, those things are fucking loud. We’re talking ‘hearing loss’ loud. And if you want to use them on your hair, you’re basically blowing them right into your ears!Now, see - I bought this medium-sized shop fan for other purposes. But that fucker blows. And I realized that I could just tuck it away in a corner and stand in front of it after I towel off. Yeah. It might make you a little chilly for a minute, but you won’t spend the next hour getting swamp ass and coffee sweats right as you got clean to start the day.
Instead, if you finish off your shower with a nice blow job, you’ll pop out of your bedroom crisp and dry, like the finest hotel sheets, ready to take on the day. That first harsh edge of your perfume or cologne will be wafted away. Your not-heat-damaged hair will get that ‘touseled in the wind and lovingly teased to perfection by the delicate fingers of angels’ look that will make everyone give you a second glance. It’ll give your pubes a lovely fluffy feeling, and you won’t stick to your clothes or wind up shoving damp feet into non-breathing shoes! - Comment on *Proceeds to append an exclamation mark* 1 week ago:
That is a wonderful compliment. Thank you.
- Comment on *Proceeds to append an exclamation mark* 2 weeks ago:
In systems that accept whitespace, “Live, Laugh, Love” is considered a strong password.
With that being said, “In systems that accept whitespace, “Live, Laugh, Love” is considered a strong password.” is an even stronger password.
- Comment on Fuck ‘em 2 weeks ago:
It’s never too early to do the right thing for yourself.
- Comment on Fuck ‘em 2 weeks ago:
It’s all the unsolicited biting.
- Comment on Useful things at the mall 4 weeks ago:
I’m weirdly disappointed the real product has a gem in the base.
- Comment on Useful things at the mall 4 weeks ago:
Many years ago, before Walgreens started selling sex toys in store, I bought a hitachi magic wand from them. (This was before their mainstream adoption as a sex toy, and they were not labeled as such on their site. They were significantly cheaper there than at places selling them as sex toys.)
But to your point - many believable lies contain plausible truths.
- Comment on About to ruin your whole day 4 weeks ago:
Oh, that’s so rough. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
- Comment on About to ruin your whole day 4 weeks ago:
Thank you. It looks like she’s going to be okay.
Ate one of those plastic cups that you put on chair legs to prevent it from scraping the floor. And a cat toy. But they could pull it out endoscopy.
She’s 15, and a big girl that’s already survived a softball sized tumor that caused her spleen to burst about 5 years ago. She’s a tough girl.
An older brown and white pitbull sleeping on a fluffy blanket with her tongue out.
- Comment on About to ruin your whole day 4 weeks ago:
My dog cast that today.
She had bloody poop and couldn’t stand.
So I’m here.
Waiting on a phone call from the emergency vet. - Comment on This Far and No Further 5 weeks ago:
I bought an ebike online recently and it was 4 days late being delivered. Every day FedEx said it was on the truck for delivery, then every day, the delivery window shifted, before finally getting pushed back to the next day (after their call center was closed).
I finally went outside while the trick was stopped at my house and the guy asked what it was. When I told him it was an ebike, he told me they probably couldn’t fit it on his over packed truck.
I wound up just going to the depot and getting it myself.I say that to commiserate - it seems companies are squeezing their workers to (and beyond) the limit where they can successfully carry out their work.
- Comment on Genius idea. Somehody should share this with the antivaxxers 5 weeks ago:
Got an MMR booster recently. Doctor told me it was a live vaccine and that I’d feel a bit off while my body fought it.
First thing I did when someone asked how the doctors visit went was to respond with “Well, I have measles…”They’re used to my bullshit, so they didn’t believe me!
- Comment on We ain't happy anymore... 1 month ago:
We could try to whoop him, but he’s got a truncheon, a handgun, and a small Christmas ham hidden in his hat and he knows how to use them. They make him happy, you see.
- Comment on We ain't happy anymore... 1 month ago:
Don’t be intentionally obtuse about the TV. People buy what’s available. Yes, there are edge cases, and no it’s not the argument you think it is to assume everyone has the foreknowledge, means, and wherewithal to employ one of those edge cases.
The U.S. government does not offer its citizens a right to privacy against corporate surveillance, and that is not something you can blame on the average person. - Comment on I'm not saying you should... 1 month ago:
Why would I want to scoop ice cream into cubes? That’s the same shape as wallaby poop.
- Comment on [deleted] 1 month ago:
You all have never met my cat.
Look - I’m married, and I’ve tended to regard myself as a dog person my entire life. We got this cat like two years ago because my wife kept talking about a chihuahua, and that is a line I will not cross.
So anyway, we get this cat for her, and he has clearly chosen me as his human. He spends most of his days in my home office. He’s constantly jumping into my lap. If no one else is around, he will loudly beg for my attention. He sleeps next to me. He lets me pick him up and hold him upside down at the furthest extent of my reach. He is my baby cat and I love him.
(It’s okay, we got a very sweet kitten a year ago, and she has clearly chosen my wife as her human. She literally climbs onto her chest and falls asleep with her head on my wife’s shoulder every day.) - Comment on Hey mods, would one of you please fix a thing? 1 month ago:
Oh, no, not overnight, just that one rare Saturday morning that nobody wakes you up, the pets and or kids are lazing and you’re getting that excellent stolen morning sleep that just restores your body and heals your soul, allowing you to feel like you can keep going.
But then there’s the clatter of tools and construction equipment. - Comment on Hey mods, would one of you please fix a thing? 1 month ago:
Just boring harassment.
I’m going to go dig a hole next to your property. It’ll have all the correct permits, but I’m going to start construction while you’re sleeping in and I’m going to put a fence around it that prevents you from looking into the hole to see why I’m digging.
- Comment on It's taking forever 1 month ago:
Oh, of course! How silly of me.
- Comment on It's taking forever 1 month ago:
Why the fuck is that person not wearing their mask correctly?
- Comment on Tough choices 1 month ago:
Depends on the monkey’s paw.
Total calorie immunity could be read as not being able to process any calories, including the ones you need to live.
(I’m assuming the body would eat through reserve fat and then begin to break down its own muscles, even as the person gorges on food vs, like, almost insta-death if the body couldn’t even rely on its own stores.) - Comment on The musicians of the Boston Symphony Orchestra are poised to strike for the first time in their history 1 month ago:
What does an orchestra strike look like?
Do they all charge out at once on foot, or are pianist and tympanist on mounted drones or like, do the heavies stay in cover while the flautists, tromboners, and violinists charge out on foot to make some noise?
(Look, I know. But I chose to interpret it this way. Because a greedy orchestra owner should start quaking in their monocle whenever they hear Flight of Valkyries while walking around seemingly empty streets at night.)
- Comment on Had it coming 1 month ago:
Turdonuclear explosion.
- Comment on Let’s see them 1 month ago:
I counted his fingers. Net because I thought the image was AI, but because the fetal alcohol face and the shirt made me wonder if he had the right amount.
