I have never encountered this situation. I literally am not even sure what situation it's describing
i wonder what goes through men's minds in this situation
Submitted 2 weeks ago by did_you_find_violets@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/c22273ff-b3cf-4bc9-82b6-eaf18ea0074c.jpeg
Comments
Beacon@fedia.io 2 weeks ago
horn_e4_beaver@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
A horny wet dream fantasy.
LemmyFeed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
A “violet dream” if you will
edible_funk@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Eh, I’ve lived a fairly sheltered life but I’ve been at a half dozen, maybe a dozen total parties and gatherings that had casual nudity and sometimes sex. Being in your twenties and going out much at all back in the late aughts, it wasn’t hard to find groups like that.
stickyprimer@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Oh… there are some clothing optional situations in life and for the most part nudity gets very normal very fast but there can be moments when an attractive woman is conspicuously putting her attractive self on parade and just daring you to notice. It’s like a clip from some mating dance on the nature channel somehow pasted onto humans.
Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 2 weeks ago
This specimen of Homo sapiens, commonly known as a human, despite already having a lifelong partner, struts in front of another male to show off and make fun of him; the reasons why this happens are not yet clear, but it seems to be a way of causing trouble, which some individuals find pleasing and arousing.
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Chef@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
FishFace@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
“why is she being weird, this is uncomfortable”
I once knew someone fairly exhibitionist. I consider myself relatively immune to bullshit and once spoke to her about it and how it was a bit rude to make other people uncomfortable for your own gratification, but she didn’t change what she was doing.
(She never hung out naked, it was just stuff she said or how far she and her bf would go when out with all our friends.)
onthesolivine@fedia.io 2 weeks ago
yeah this kind of stuff needs consent from everyone or you're just making people uncomfortable and that's not fun or very nice
FishFace@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
I think there’s a real selfish mindset to it: people who do this like using their sexuality to get a reaction, even if others don’t enjoy it. They like “making a man hot under the collar” or watching someone try to decide whether to say something, or then feeling superior because they didn’t name the violation of social norms.
I kinda get the other side: if we were more open about sex and nudity it’d save a lot of grief. But I think you can tell when someone wants to do that versus when they get a power trip from sitting around with their tits out, because it’s done in smaller ways.
the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
If your hanging about with you junk out I’m looking. If you don’t want me to look put your pants back on.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Used to have “Naked Tuesdays” with another couple we were friends with years ago. Just the four of us hanging out naked watching TV, maybe some other things happening. If you weren’t looking at anyone else, why even bother?
Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
How was this started? Who brought the topic into conversation. Why Tuesday?
vantablack@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
feeling sorry for lots of the people in this thread and their prudish mindsets
i’m queer and in seattle so casual nudity is pretty normal here, we even have a whole beach for it! i go tits out at bridge raves and pride and other stuff all the time and nobody cares. and half the time i’m wearing see-through tops with no bra! like… sometimes you’ll be hanging out and some people will just be naked and it’s fine. most of my friends have seen my nudes i post on mastodon! it’s good and fine and okay. it’s only weird if you make it weird
did_you_find_violets@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
oh, i’ve always found it kind of funny, actually.
the fediverse/lemmy have a very progressive demographic, but they can also be surprisingly prudish when it comes to anything sex-related, especially when it’s coming from a female perspective.
after being on here for months, i’ve somehow been branded as “the horny poster,” even though most of my posts aren’t explicitly horny or freaky. they’re more observational, almost diaristic, in the way they approach these kinds of topics. for example, i don’t find this post horny or freaky at all.
Noobnarski@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’ve never seen you post something that is not related to sex in some way, so yeah you are definetly a horny poster for me.
I don’t mind though.
did_you_find_violets@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
and don’t even get me started on the “mark this as NSFW, please” police patrolling around here, lmao. (the tamest post you can imagine.)
UntimedDiffusion@piefed.zip 2 weeks ago
I’m not comfortable with people hanging out naked around me and no amount of your “feeling sorry” is going to change that
Paddzr@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Especially since I’d wager most of it IS sexual and their fantasy. No one just casually decides it doesn’t bother them and then actively goes out of social norms unless they really want to prove a point or it’s their kink… ergo, they very much do care.
edible_funk@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You likely wouldn’t be hanging out in groups where casual nudity is a thing then huh?
horn_e4_beaver@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
feeling sorry for lots of the people in this thread and their prudish mindsets
Well why try and shame them for their culture?
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
See, there’s a difference between “Yeah I’d rather keep my clothes on” rather than telling other people “You should keep your clothes on in your own house with friends who are also comfortable being naked”.
Magnum@infosec.pub 2 weeks ago
No, its kinda weird to casually hang out naked, like what’s the motivation behind it?
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
When you’re all comfortable being naked together, and pan/poly while being open with sharing partners… Why casually hang out with clothes on when everyone would rather be naked? Like, what’s the motivation behind it?
Yosmonkol@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
Something similar happened to me while playing catan at a friends place and it was pretty weird. One of the sublets we didn’t know very well had a new lady friend over ever month. The lady of the month walked into the kitchen in just panties and asked what we were playing. She obviously didn’t get the response she was hoping for and left with a disapointed look on her face. We all wondered if she was hoping to fluster a bunch of “virgin nerds” like some corney early 2000s movie in order to stroke her ego.
adarza@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
probably something like:
dontgetcaughtlooking…
dontgetcaughtlooking…
dontgetcaughtlooking…
zomg!!!
ihopenobodysawme…AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I actually find this gross, I’m assuming the roommate consented or else your are no better than the guys who flash people naked under a trench coat. But if he did, and he’s obviously so visibly uncomfortable, I can’t imagine as an empathetic person continuing to make them uncomfortable.
Even if them being uncomfortable was because they were trying not to make me feel uncomfortable. I can’t imagine the meme switched genders people would be so cool about it. I guess i could say if a pig has wings it would be a bird, but this is gross. Sorry.
mpramann@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Maybe first ask for context before getting so riled up?
Not everyone on this page has the same cultural background as you. In Germany for example it’s quite common to be naked at the beach/lake. Not everywhere obviously but common enough that a lot of us are not bothered by nudity as much as other cultures.
AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
They posted the context, the person i hope they got consent from is trapped on a boat with them. Making escape impossible from possible discomfort. It’s even worse, it’s a fucking captive audience to torment. Again, I hope there was consent, I’d imagine that still exists in Germany. And again, as a human who’s aware of my effect on other people, I’d imagine they still have empathy in Germany, I wouldn’t want to make a person uncomfortable for my own benefit, that’s selfish and weird, and if it was a dude it would be fucking sinister. Because it’s a girl in the meme, people in the thread are answering with their pants around their ankles.
DanceMomsSavedMe@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
“Damn bro what happened to that chick you had over the other day? She was way prettier than this one”
AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Okay… that’s actually totally fair. If I was in a dunk tank, I would be in the water.
Brainsploosh@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Wow, the comments in this thread are surprisingly bad, even for a shitpost.
Having been in the situation myself, my thoughts were very much “let’s not make them uncomfortable” (meaning feel sexualised), but the first times (as a young’un) it got stiff enough that the person chose to break the tension. Just don’t be weird about it and everyone can be comfortable.
There are plenty of situations and contexts where nudity isn’t sexual, and I highly recommend getting comfortable with that distinction. I find people and groups of all genders to become a lot more safe with that skill.
MyVeryRealName@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Why are you nude with guests over? No offense intended. Genuine question.
did_you_find_violets@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
we’re on a boat which is an ideal location to be perpetually nude (sunbathing, swimming, no need to go anywhere else, etc.)
GutterRat42@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yes, thirst trap police, this comment right here
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Ah violet08 reincarnated again I see.
SunshineJogger@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
I would probably just look. If there is no attempt at hiding anything then why should I attempt hiding looking?
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
That’s my take on it as well. I’ve played some party games where taking clothes off was part of it and I wouldn’t have participated if I was uncomfortable with people looking at me. It’s weird to me to think otherwise, like if you don’t want people looking is your intention just to make everyone uncomfortable? That’s not cool.
bravesirrbn@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Reptile brain: LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!
Sentient brain: it’s rude to look so I’ll try my best not to
rumba@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
That fucking peripheral vision, target lower… no… it’s right down there, you can see it just not focus on it… no… you turn past to look somewhere else, eyes dip…FUCK YOU BRAIN…
Blurntout@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Nawh that’s their face after they peep the plug 😂 We talking sun tanning or suggestive nude yoga while maintaining small talk?
Spread eagle staring contest sounds like a hilarious gangbang opener
did_you_find_violets@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
just casual nudity
Blurntout@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
`crushing my super freak violet theory cold.
Homies gotta chill then lol if it’s on display and you’re not making uncomfortably long eye contact with them just daddy chill lol
Also real pervs know sunglasses are the casual gawkers cheat code 😂
Surp@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This account is such a master baiter to both sides
Keepthoseeyeslockedonmine@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
How can I discreetly sneak off and stroke it til I blow?
FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I’d be uncomfortable if a person isn’t clothed and I’m not mentally prepared for it. No matter the looks.
musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I call bull shit. Last week I caught you furiously masturbating in the lemmy communal sauna. I would’ve believed you if you weren’t constantly yelling: “Oh God, I’m not mentally prepared. Oh God. Oh Please! I’m not ready!” You’re a bad liar.
FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I was curious if this was some violet type shit and it kinda was lol. Good job
Avicenna@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
I don’t think I would like to see my friends naked male or female. I would be more ok with stranger nudity. It is not that I see someone naked and I immediately think of sex or I evaluate their body (though the latter is more likely than the former). It is just years of social conditioning that makes this situation very out of the ordinary and more awkward when someone I know is involved.
SanderZeldenthuis@nord.pub 2 weeks ago
Then came the heatwave and everyone is barely wearing clothes at home on those days here. Even the friends who come over!
SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Or anywhere tropical. Everyone just chilling in their undies
Damarus@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Can’t that bitch at least put something on when they’re having guests over
lengau@midwest.social 2 weeks ago
Less blood than usual?
zxqwas@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Trying to figure out how many seconds I can get away with looking.
HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Depending on context, thats worth a look
DarkFuture@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
As a nudist I could care less.
And I’d look. Just wouldn’t continuously stare. That’s kind of the nudist rule.
WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 2 weeks ago
About the same as a woman getting continuous social media notifications and not being allowed to look at their phone.
ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I sort of had this situation in a house I lived at in college. It only got weird some of the time.
There’s definitely a wide range of, uh, dignity in someone’s nudity.
HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Thinking about the right way to try suggesting a spit roast
pech@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’d be worried looking might be interpreted as leering or being otherwise disrespectful.
DanceMomsSavedMe@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Yes but, if you have someone in the house god damn put on some clothes. This is like one of those “don’t force me into your kink” things.
pech@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yeah I mean I don’t know the rest of the story I guess. Like, maybe there’s a perfectly good reason that they’re doing what they’re doing 🤷
Plus like, i might not mind 👀
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
At that point just say “Nice tits” and get the awkwardness out of the way. I ain’t playing your little power game as one of those friends.
D_C@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
But …what if the tits aren’t nice?
tophneal@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Then you say “nice tits” and don’t look at em.
errer@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Mean titties ya got there
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
“Will you please roll those up and put them away? I’m afraid I am going to trip”
HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Then you say it sarcasticly. Or just flail your arms and say “Quaid, start the reactor”
lost_faith@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Does not compute
Mediocre_Bard_Redeux@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
? What?
Monument@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
Perfect username for this comment.
But also, it just depends. Sometimes it’s about the party, place, and people.
I don’t talk about it much in normal spaces, but a subset of my friends group is fairly routinely naked or (with consent) randomly and casually sexually interacting with others.
At the most recent party with this group, they had to explicitly say the party was kid-friendly until a certain point, to avoid pink bits and inappropriate demonstrations from happening while children were there. (And also to ensure parents knew to get their kids out of there.)
Examples of things that routinely occur -
Some of the women wear dog toy squeakers in their bra to encourage interaction with their boobs.
People just compare undergarments and anatomy. Folks just get partially/fully naked and hang out.
People get tied up on the suspension point in the living room.
The same mount point can also mount to a pole, and the pole can be swapped in if someone is feeling acrobatic.
Sex sometimes randomly happens. I’ve been involved in an impromptu threesome. (A twosome spun up and we had a guest appearance.) People leave doors open.
There’s a hot tub. People use it. (The rule is no bodily fluids in the hot tub.) I mean, it’s kinky people at a party. Not a kink party. But just people at a party that negotiate consent and things happen.
Different rules for different groups, though. The point isn’t to make people uncomfortable or to play power games (doing that probably would lead to a conversation at minimum and possibly a loss of invitation to future parties), it’s to revel in the physical pleasure of interacting with others and to have fun with folks who like to express their exhbitionist tendencies. While also bitching about work and life and all the other things people do at parties.
vantablack@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
stealing this idea tysm
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
If you don’t play their power game then they wind up with a recording of you saying that which they’ll save indefinitely in case you ever run for political office.
Also so they can assassinate your character if you ever mildly inconvenience them.
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
bruh, ain’t no body in the political class here and this kompromat gathering is useless against a bunch of suburbanites that are vicariously living through their friend with the younger partner.
FishFace@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
When has that happened?