There is no male loneliness epidemic; there is a loneliness epidemic. They have been talking about it since at least 2020 and it predates the pandemic. Anyone calling it a male loneliness epidemic is absolutely engagement farming. The entire manosphere is a rage-bait-engagement-farming scam.
Anon questions the epidemic
Submitted 2 weeks ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/74f00282-bc8a-48cf-917c-4bf3050cfa87.jpeg
Comments
ruuster13@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Aqarius@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Not just engagement. Back when it was just a loneliness epidemic, there were talks of maybe bringing back third places, or changing society to help. Then it became a male epidemic, and suddenly it was someone else’s problem, it’s an individual issue, no need to make a cause of it.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
who would want to help men? that’s gay.
zaphod@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
There’s a general loneliness epidemic, but there’s a difference between men and women.
ruuster13@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
If only I knew earlier that the males are all suffering with virginity. I could be out there solving this thing one by one (I’m gay).
baines@lemmy.cafe 2 weeks ago
it is particularly male though because studies show older men don’t have friends
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
no men have friends.
and women have friends, but hate all of them and talk about how awful they are.
which once is better off?
imadethis@fedinsfw.app 2 weeks ago
They were talking about it way before the epidemic. I remember at least as far back as middle Obama presidency that there was a show talking with one of his campaigners and they brought up the statistics on the number of people that would claim to have X amount of “close friends” declining.
There is a definite difference in the man/woman divide though on those numbers.
ruuster13@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
It’s useful to talk about how the loneliness epidemic affects men and women differently. But when someone talks about the “male” loneliness epidemic and all it’s statistics about virginity, you know their bigger problem is how they spend their time online.
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
TIL that the opposite of loneliness is having had sex
webp@mander.xyz 2 weeks ago
We could learn a lot from anon
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
[deleted]heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
The feeling of loneliness is likely the basis for “I missed you.” Forelorning.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
speak for yourself. adulthood is awesome. school sucked.
Nangijala@feddit.dk 2 weeks ago
The movie “Shame” is a pretty good example of lonliness despite having sex constantly. I think it was with Michael Fassbender and from 2012, but it’s been awhile so I don’t remember. Good movie, though. Real feel bad film.
sprightly_exigence@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
Why are we conflating emotional intimacy and sex? They aren’t the same thing. The fact that men are often taught that they are the same thing is part of why there is a loneliness epidemic.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
because for a horny 20 year old they are the only thing that matters in life.
sprightly_exigence@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
See that’s the thing - again, need for sex and need for emotional intimacy aren’t the same thing. The propaganda that says they are is why those boys are both horny and sad - they’re trying to meet two drives at once and failing both because of this misunderstanding. If they were emotionally stable and had community and belongingness, it’d actually be a lot easier for them to get laid and their mental health would also be way better.
UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
EXACTLY.
what these statistics hide is that they dont examine QUALITY OF LIFE , NUMBERR OF RELATIONSHIPS, TYPES OOF RELATIONSHIPS, and THE INSANE RATES OF DEATHS OF DESPAIR AMONGSTT MIDDLE AGED AND SENIOR MEN
pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10721027/ for this study of Korean middle aged men and women it was found thatt those who met more often wiith theiir friends had higher reported levels of life satisfation . YES for men AND women (and ya ya those who reported being married ALSO had higher reportrd levels of life satisfaction too BUT it sshould be noted that wifdowed people reported even higher levels of life satisfaction than all other adults who were included in the study and currently lived alone)
About 70-80% of all deaths worldwide from ‘Deaths Of Despair’ (so that includes deatha from eatting a terrible diet without exercising and dying from a cardiovascular disease, deaths from drunk driving, deaths from deliberate suicide , deaths frrom accidental drug overdoses, deaths from alcohol poisoning, deaths from fatty liver diseases ) were deaths of men per a year since we’ve started measurinng it. And very much middle aged men.
Also havent some studies come out showing that people have reported having less friends or rsther less people that they talk to and confide in per a weeek or even per a month than ever before?
Your spouse is supposed to be one of your friends , ya I gett that. But if you rely on only your spouse as your only friend ? Youre gonna get into A LOOOT of trouble if they eventually divorce from you.
sprightly_exigence@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
Yes, due to a variety of factors, people are more isolated right now than they have ever been throughout history. It’s a real problem and since the underlying factors are systemic, it is going to be very difficult to turn around.
It’s not just if your spouse might divorce you, it’s that putting all your emotional weight on a single person is 1) destined to cause problems, 2) not actually how human beings are supposed to work. We’re highly evolved hypersocial pack predators. Different individuals have different levels of social need, but we do need it. Our brains are wired to hold iirc about 150 people in it for basic socializing - not all of those are going to be deep meaningful friendships, but even the acquaintances help us meet that social need of belonging and acceptance. So many men are essentially taught that their wife is their only emotional outlet, and that showing vulnerability with “the boys” is not acceptable and also possibly dangerous. And then they wonder why they feel unfulfilled - of course they do, you can’t put all that on one person, no matter how close you are with them.
doingthestuff@lemy.lol 2 weeks ago
As if married men or men who have had sex at least once can’t be lonely. “You got your dick wet 20 years ago, what’s the problem?!”
Dudes don’t have friends. That’s the epidemic.
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
They don’t have friends. And even if they have friends, where’s the love? Everybody is doing their own thing. Even a married man can feel loneliness, and if they do, it’s good to start a conversation.
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Yeah, can you imagine living in a house with a glass wall full of strangers? And you feel like the last member of your species?
architect@thelemmy.club 2 weeks ago
Dudes make friends with each other so damn easy it’s a meme for a reason.
Like women have to simultaneously live in a world where you call us all catty bitches who compete with each order but also you all have no fucking friends and can’t make any and boohoo. Pick a fucking lane!
cinoreus@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Cause friendship is surface level. Try talking about your feelings to one of them and see how quickly you feel alienated.
And it’s not sunshine on other side either in their defense. I’ve been in kind of an all women group once, it was genuinely a suffocating experience. Like there are just so many mannerisms and subtle etiquettes you need to pick up, it’s almost harder to talk your mind in all women setting than in all men.
And who’s you? I don’t think either OP or the commenter is the person calling women catty bitches. Everyone’s experience is different, and its better if you give it back to those who called you a catty bitch rather than a random dude on the internet.
Leviathan@fedinsfw.app 2 weeks ago
It’s a fool who believes that the circumstantial “friends” you make because you happen to be in the same place at the same time are true, ride or die, listen to your problems, give good advice friends.
The former you can make practically anywhere you go, like you said, it’s a meme. The latter are tough, maybe a couple in your whole life kind of encounters. The former will fill a room and you won’t be alone, the latter will take up one seat and you won’t feel lonely. Quantity vs quality.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
You’re being very reductive. I don’t know who called you a catty bitch but chances are it wasn’t every man who’s ever complained about being lonely.
So when you throw it in men’s faces and say pick a lane, you’re kinda doing the same thing that some men do when after encountering one or two golddiggers they make sweeping generalizations like “women only want men for their money.”
Men can be lonely. Men can also be assholes. But when you try to invalidate some men’s loneliness because some men are assholes, that’s a problem. And that tendency to generalize is one of the big contributing factors to male loneliness today.
Also, I’ve heard women call each other catty bitches, so don’t pretend that’s something only men do. The men you’ve heard say it might even have been repeating what they heard from other women.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Dudes don’t have friends.
I’ve got plenty of dude friends. And they’ve got friends of their own.
Clubs are full of dudes. Rec leagues are full of dudes. Schools are full of dudes. They’re all hanging out and making friends with one another.
It’s real, it’s happening.
UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
But theres still a sizeable pprtion of men dying from deaths of despair ESPECIALLY in middle age. Why is that?
Have you ever stopped to ask these specific men why they have such shit quality of life that theyd rather kill themselves with food and substances? It probanly has somethjng to do with the fact that they havve so few friends and now that their spouse is divorcored from them or dead they have NOBODY to conmect with cause making friends as a middle aged man or a middle aged single dad is excruciatingly hard.
What you see in clubs and school or on the street isnt super relevant if the data that we are observing shows us something else!
Schmoo@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
There is a capitalist alienation epidemic.
Leviathan@fedinsfw.app 2 weeks ago
‘Everything circles back to capitalism’ is really a meme because it’s true.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I do think people living under capitalism sometimes forget the human condition exists beyond the economic condition.
More free time, less economic precarity, better health, better education, a place to call home. All of that is great. But you still need to go out and meet people.
Socialism won’t make you touch grass.
Leviathan@fedinsfw.app 2 weeks ago
You can have sex and be a totally toxic bastard that people don’t want to be around once they get to know you. You could have sex frequently but still be deeply lonely.
sprightly_exigence@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
Agreed. It’s dangerous to conflate emotional intimacy and sex - they aren’t the same thing and pretending they are is part of what got us into this mess imo.
taygaloocat@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The phasing is as a sudden historically unique crisis, not the generic sense of ennui common to adulthood throughout history.
I can show you black and white French films from the 1960s complaining about the same Male Loneliness
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Eh idk, my experience with the “male loneliness epidemic” is:
It’s not just about “sex” (which it seems like that’s all EVERYONE can focus on, so I get it,) but also about deeper meaningful connections. Personally, I have a few FWB, I want to fall in love with someone again, though, tbf, the part of me that had the ability to do that could also be dead, kinda hard to tell tbh.
It’s also about (again, for me) the fact that increasingly it seems that the ONLY places acceptable to meet a woman you have not yet talked to are:
A) Online dating services that sell your data, are designed not to give good matches because they want you to stay on the app, and charge a fee for the apps to even be useful, and they’re all owned by one company.
B) The bar. That’s it.
Well, as for A, I value my privacy, and don’t enjoy paying money to have horrible experiences. I run GrapheneOS idek if tindr would run. I don’t even have social media, I can’t stand writing my own bio and don’t take selfies, it’s not a good option for anyone but doubly so for me. Also I’m not Tom Cruise (or whoever you’re horny for just sub them in) level attractive and as such I have to rely on my personality, which isn’t really text and picture based. As for B, I do still drink but not like I used to, and even if I did I can’t afford to go out as much as I used to in this fucked economy, and tbh meeting drunk women doesn’t seem like a good idea anymore, feels like it opens me up to problems I don’t fucking need tbh.
So where does that leave me? Well, common advice is to:
“Have your friends set you up with someone.” Ok great. None of them have any single friends, at least none that have expressed interest in being set up with me, or that I am interested in myself. So, either “pray,” or I could actively make new friends just for the express purpose of finding out if they have hot friends that want me, if not, move to the next friend I can find and try again? Sounds like a bad plan to me. I don’t have the social battery for all that honestly.
“Go to the gym,” you mean the place women complain about being hit on the most? Sure, that’ll help, “idfk how to use this giant machine and I know you just watched me look like a giant idiot, and I know you hate being asked here, but I saw you from across the yoga mat and thought you had a cool vibe, wanna go out some time?” That’s setting yourself up for success right there lol.
“Find a hobby,” yes because when I’m not at work or sleeping I simply stand and stare at a wall. OF COURSE I have hobbies, but not only do “women want to enjoy their hobbies without being approached” also my hobby is hiking local trails and taking pics of (mundane to you but to me,) neat animals like salamanders and snakes. Idk if you guys are aware of this, but women would rather meet a literal bear in the woods than a nerd with a camera, I used to talk to people on the trails but now I just give them a wide berth (unless they’re dudes, dudes are chill). Also like the library, but I’m the only one under 70 (well, and above 18, lots of parents with kids but that doesn’t help me lol), other than the cute librarian I have a crush on (but you’re not supposed to ask them out while they’re working either, and also if she says no it’ll now be awkward every time I go cause I’ll feel like a creep, so she’ll never know).
The real solutions seem to be we need a third place that is acceptable to meet someone and ask them out politely and take no for an answer, or women would need to start asking men they like if it’s unacceptable the other way around, or I need to become gay because as I said earlier guys are chill, you can talk to them anywhere. Unfortunately we’re actively killing third places and the ones still alive women complain about being approached, women so rarely ask a guy out and I don’t think it’s becoming more common, and afaik I was born unlucky on the gayness.
And I mean, am I “lonely?” Idk. I have friends, FWBs, kitties, I’ve had abusive relationships worse than loneliness, so “no” I guess, but also yes insofar as “I haven’t felt real love in about 15 years and it’d be pretty cool to feel that for someone again,” and I’ll guaranteed never find it if I don’t start doing the secret solution: Just say fuck it, fuck you, and fuck what is socially acceptable, just start asking out ANY woman I see/like ANYWHERE, politely and take no for an answer of course, but anywhere. At my job, at her job, at the gym, in Aisle 10, on the trails, fuck it. If I don’t it seems my only option is to pray to a god I’ve never believed in that a lady falls in front of me like goddamn Rufus in Dogma.
frostedtrailblazer@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
You need to find a trail hiking group. You don’t need to change hobbies it sounds like. Try organizing a hike in your area and invite people to come along if you can’t find any. You’ll meet people quickly doing that.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I’m down, but where? That whole “not doing social media” thing means no Facebook, where all those local hiking groups would be organizing, or where I’d have to post if I were the organizer (and organizing a meeting then trying to meet a woman there feels sketchy, anyway).
Genuinely though the bar is at the floor for guys right now. If you are well groomed, friendly, and genuinely interested in learning about the specific woman you’re talking to then that alone would bump you up a lot of your potential matches.
Yeah honestly that isn’t my issue, once I get my foot in the door I’m good, but all the doors are locked and I can’t find my pick, the issue is starting that conversation to begin with.
Try going shopping on the weekend; lots of woman are more willing to talk in stores and such when they’re not stressed out from work. If they hold eye contact with you in a friendly way then try saying hi and just chatting to get to know them a little and what they’re out and about for.
Fair enough, this is basically a more succinct and less explicit version of my final conclusion lol. That’s kinda the plan, but most women I talk to (irl or online) seem to indicate that is socially unacceptable now too.
Which actually probably helps the bar being on the floor btw, all the guys afraid of making women uncomfortable and being creepy are not approaching them because they complained and we listened, now the only guys approaching women in public are the ones who don’t care about creeping them out, because they didn’t listen. I’m not saying that’s the whole problem but it has to be some %.
gandalf_der_13te@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
If they hold eye contact with you in a friendly way then try saying hi and just chatting to get to know them a little and what they’re out and about for.
written by somebody who has absolutely zero real-life experience. if you do that, women will say that you can’t just let people “be nice” and have to take everything up as a flirting opportunity.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
That’s an effective summary of the situation. Society has effectively made it taboo to pursue dating/romance in just about any irl space where you might meet someone. Makes me wonder how much was social engineering on the part of dating apps (like Match group astroturfing on reddit/social media).
As for your last paragraph, sorry to tell you this, but that won’t work either. People will start noticing and telling their friends about you, calling you names, saying you ask out literally every woman you meet, calling you fuckboy, creep, or whatever. It doesn’t matter how polite you are or how respectful. In fact if you bring attention to how polite and respectful you’re being, they’ll view that as even worse. Eventually someone will sneak a picture of you and it’ll make the rounds on social media. There are entire sites and apps dedicated to women gossiping about men. It doesn’t take much to kill your whole reputation. And women talk to each other about the men they see, so if you become known as “that guy,” then even if you meet a woman who hasn’t heard of you and things start going well, eventually one of her friends will tell her you’re a walking red flag and she’ll ghost you without an explanation.
So no, casting a wide net is not a solution. And if you’re waiting for the perfect woman to fall into your lap and make all the moves and seem to genuinely like you, you’re more likely to get catphished than you are to find love.
This is just the world we’re living in now. Hate to break it to you…
gandalf_der_13te@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
That’s an effective summary of the situation. Society has effectively made it taboo to pursue dating/romance in just about any irl space where you might meet someone. Makes me wonder how much was social engineering on the part of dating apps (like Match group astroturfing on reddit/social media).
i tend to think it’s a christian thing. “sexuality and lust are evil, you’re not supposed to flirt” kinda thing.
gandalf_der_13te@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
that is so well-written it deserves a place on my disk.
yeah, that’s precisely how it is. effectively you can’t date women today. i’ve given up. i’m bi so i have other options but damn is the situation not good for anyone straight today.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
dating was easy in the 2000s.
mostly because women, and everybody really, weren’t such self-important arrogant assholes. they had a sense of humility and modesty that… basically nobody has today.
everyone today thinks they are an epic hero in a tragic story of their life. It’s insane. nobody wants to deal with that, and yet people can’t get over themselves and realize they are just people.
rawn@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Maybe don’t say fuck it all the time but if it feels like it might be a good idea.
FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
This is actually a really fucking eye opening post, assuming they’re not lying. I personally never thought there was a “virginity epidemic” among my peers, lol.
It seems like people have gotten less cliquey about virginity since then, so maybe it is a good lie?
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I wanted to check if anon was lying, but the only recent numbers I found are on what looks like a website of a conservative think tank with a pronatalist/marriage ideological mission (a little creepy imo). It does reference a cdc survey that seems real as the data source but still a bit sus to me though too much effort to reproduce their work. I’m pretty sure it’s anon’s source of information since it also covers ages 22-34 and they chose that range deliberately:
We focus here on males and females ages 22-34 because this is the key window in which people tend to marry and start families
And the other numbers that I looked at seem to match up. If I’m being paranoid I’d wonder if anon is actually their intern doing social media propaganda campaigns.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
sex rates are falling because people have no money.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Women are about as lonely as men.
The problem is that they’re human and exist in an anti-human environment.
You know who else are lonely? Animals in zoos.
UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
We have created an almost perfect anti-human environment.
The Human Condition is discredited in almost everythimg we plan and do nowadays. The people of the Global South will probably go extinct in the next 200 years because of global warming and we have planned and created car-ceentric, anti-green energy societies all over the planet .
Most people are sad about this but most people have little say in the politics of their country.
LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Most people are sad about this? Most decent people are sad about it. Many people are not decent people, or are being told that being decent people is bad, weak, and probably woke.
Boozilla@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Sex, relationships, and loneliness are all distinct domains. There’s important overlap to be sure. But they are not the same things. You can be a casanova and still be lonely. You can be stuck in a bad marriage and feel very lonely indeed.
I think a lot of modern people (regardless of gender identity) have problems making and keeping friends, too. Long-term friendships take work, sacrifice, and compromise. It’s not just compatible interests and personalities.
WaxRhetorical@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I agree entirely. Anecdotally, dating has always been easier for me than building platonic relationships.
I think for dating the ‘rules’ are a lot more clear, so it’s easier to figure out what works and what does not. I can be fairly straightforward when dating, whereas budding friendships from my perspective and experience require a very different approach.TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
or people have expectations that are unrealistic.
PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Be 2025
…years old?! Not happenin bud
Jankatarch@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I thought “male lonileness epidemic” meant how fucking hard it’s to make friends as a guy.
It takes weeks of hanging out to join a friend group, and as soon as people get comfortable they start ranting about trans people.
Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Fucking this right here. Do these people have any idea how living in a red state fucks with your ability to make friends?
UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Not only living jn a red state only. Ive found that people living in a conservative anything fucks with friend making.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
well if those gays would stop destroying society we could all be friends.
Jankatarch@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Username checks out.
rustyfish@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
If you listen to today’s 4chan, you’re an idiot.
thesohoriots@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
what about 20 year old 4chan?
adwijoma@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
A loneliness epidemic is literally the most obvious effect of capitalism/consumerism/individualism I would expect. But very few of the ‘male loneliness epidemic’ clan has anything to say about capitalism being the problem.
kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Wow, statistics sure do a great job of revealing numbers!
Nangijala@feddit.dk 2 weeks ago
First of all: that is not how it works
Second of all: the loneliness epidemic is noy just happening to men, it is happening to everybody.
Third of all: loneliness can happen to anyone, even people who appear to have it all. It is not just the extreme stereotype of the hermit who barely speaks to a living soul for two years, that is valid in feeling lonely. Sometimes it’s the people who seem to have a big network of friends who are the loneliest because all their friendships are superficial and the person may struggle to commit to others and be vulnerable. Other people become distractions from a deep hurt and selfloathing, they don’t know how to address. No one is ever let in because it’s too scary and risky to show weakness. But you have 50 friends and is everybody’s pal, so you can’t be lonely, right?
And then there’s the more mundane type of loneliness, that happens to a lot of people in the first world when they enter the workforce and/or start a family. It can become terribly lonely when you dont have the time and energy to nurture friendships ans community because you work all the time and then you raise the family and in the currwnt day and age, social activity takes place on screens. People hang out on social media where they share pics and political views instead of meeting up for a beer or a lemonade to chat like our parents’ generations did.
I have seen cpuntless posts from 30somethings pver the past decade, who ask about how to make friends at their age because they feel so lonely and all their old friends live far away. These are men and women. Some of them are parents of newborns others are single career people who have been grinding and suddenly realized they have neglected their social life.
Everybody is lonely in this day and age. I have felt lonely for years because i had to grind at work and didnt have time for recrrational activities. I have plenty of friends, good family and a lovely boyfriend and I was still lonely because I had to work all the time. Doesnt help that all my friends and family live far away so most of our interactions are on screens and not in the flesh. And if there is anything I think the modern first world human being is undervaluing and neglecting, it’s physical closeness and irl community. The screens have replaced that despite being the shittiest substitute for physical touch imaginable.
To me, there is nothing that can calm every cell in my body like a hug from someone i love and whom I know loves me back. It is irreplacable.
festnt@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
how do these numbers work? do they just ask and hope everyone tells the truth?
Waterpumpee@lemmus.org 2 weeks ago
Soo in my group of friends and former classmates the situation is really bad.
Now we were a group of gamers. That didnt help to meet girls LOL. Also early porn consumption. I guess as early as 16 might have had an effect. The guys who dont have obvious flaws but get no women were into mangas early on.
My advice would be skip the porn and the fapping. Select hobbies that give you chances to meet women.
bobbyfiend@retrolemmy.com 2 weeks ago
There is a lot of solid scholarship questioning the label “male loneliness epidemic,” but not because scholars are stupid enough to equate having sex with an absence of loneliness.
daggermoon@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
Me in the >10% category.
UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
what these statistics hide is that they dont examine QUALITY OF LIFE , NUMBERR OF RELATIONSHIPS, TYPES OOF RELATIONSHIPS, and THE INSANE RATES OF DEATHS OF DESPAIR AMONGSTT MIDDLE AGED AND SENIOR MEN
pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10721027/ for this study of Korean middle aged men and women it was found thatt those who met more often wiith theiir friends had higher reported levels of life satisfation . YES for men AND women (and ya ya those who reported being married ALSO had higher reportrd levels of life satisfaction too BUT it sshould be noted that wifdowed people reported even higher levels of life satisfaction than all other adults who were included in the study and currently lived alone)
About 70-80% of all deaths worldwide from ‘Deaths Of Despair’ (so that includes deatha from eatting a terrible diet without exercising and dying from a cardiovascular disease, deaths from drunk driving, deaths from deliberate suicide , deaths frrom accidental drug overdoses, deaths from alcohol poisoning, deaths from fatty liver diseases ) were deaths of men per a year since we’ve started measurinng it. And very much middle aged men.
Also havent some studies come out showing that people have reported having less friends or rsther less people that they talk to and confide in per a weeek or even per a month than ever before?
Your spouse is supposed to be one of your friends , ya I gett that. But if you rely on only your spouse as your only friend ? Youre gonna get into A LOOOT of trouble if they eventually divorce from you.
Uri@infosec.pub 2 weeks ago
20 and still virigin
FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
To me, the Bubonic plague will always be “the epidemic”, but COVID can still be called the pandemic since it happened all over the world at the same time, which makes it more pandemic than the Bubonic Plague
NathanRanch@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
It’s a redirection. Capitalism demands a lot more from us than it did even 50 years go. That makes women, on average, more choosy and men tend to need to work harder to keep up if they want that happy relationship. We’re just selecting for good capitalists because bad capitalists might have kids too, but they’re more likely to repeat mistakes of their parents or die off. It’s kinda how most people can trace their lineage to royalty, because they were the ones surviving and thriving, not the peasants.
If things get worse faster than we can address them, this trend will continue. Maintaining any kind of birthrate in a positive direction would require the people falling out of the system to support it too, which are now in the majority.
So you can’t create conditions for the family makers when the losers have voting power. The family makers will always try, but there will be fewer of them, and the capitalistic pressure only creates more losers.
UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You also gotta pre-emptively accept the possibility that youll NEVER meet friends or a partner who wants to be associated with you despite your best efforts. It is a possibility and there is nothing wrong with you if that happens to you and youre a kind, quiet , peaceful person. It is what it is
Human-Human relationships are sort of an ‘It Is Whatt It Is Type Of Affair’ these days. You can do everything kindly and to your best efforts to meet other like-minded people …and everyone can still not want to be your friend or lover. You can be worst than Adolph Shiter or Suharto and be surrounded with a million admirers and fake friends. It is what it is.
'Sadly it is what it is BUT At least you tried ’ is how I see it nowadays. 🤷🏿♂️
Best of wishes to you and everyone else who is lonely out here. Best of wishes on the journey comrade.🫂🫡
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Assuming the numbers are similar in my country, my circle of friends is more unusual than I thought…
Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
having sex (perhaps just once?) doesn’t equal not lonely, though.
papalonian@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
No, I’m pretty sure that every man who has had sex at least once in their life turned out to be a top bloke
trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
But can’t top blokes be lonely?
k0e3@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Or bottom bloke
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
In fact sex being used as the indicator is actually a clue to one of the largest contributors. There’s a very wide reaching assumption that men should get most of their emotional support from their female partner. This is often very stressful to the female partner and is a fragile way to meet a basic need; if she gets sick or dies he’s probably not far behind her. Men need to learn how to compliment and hug each other. It’s 2026 ffs.
Daywim@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It seems so surreal to me that other men don’t hug each other, or tell their friends that they love them