Turns out a lot of them were in Gaza, they left behind more than their clothes however
Who got raptured today?
Submitted 6 hours ago by IndridCold@lemmy.ca to [deleted]
https://lemmy.ca/pictrs/image/ae6569c2-d702-4838-b5c0-9db51aa32fa9.jpeg
Comments
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 25 minutes ago
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 hours ago
My favourite theory of the rapture
It already happened … no one noticed because no one was taken up.
Ryktes@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Isn’t the rapture supposed to be like… the first step of the apocalypse? Cause I’m lookin around at the state of things right now and uh…
MeatPilot@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Yup, the skull fucking imps will be a part of the first wave of demons. Should get used to wearing helmets now to protect your skull.
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 hours ago
Or so few people were taken up that it just amounted to a few missing person’s cases
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 6 hours ago
HECK YES LETS GET RAPTORED AF
reads closer
Wait what?
raptor sauce
RedSeries@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 hours ago
I got raptured but forgot I left the oven on so I came back and now they won’t let me back in.
Asafum@feddit.nl 4 hours ago
(in a booming voice from the sky)
“Sorry, the bus already left and I didn’t have enough money to pay for a second trip. Try again next rapture.”
T00l_shed@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
I missed something were we supposed to be ruptured today?
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 hours ago
I wish… Would probably solve the American fascism problem overnight when all the Christians vanish
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 hours ago
Okay but then the real Christians are gone and all that’s left are the Christofascists
IndridCold@lemmy.ca 6 hours ago
Not you.
T00l_shed@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Fuck… I had it in my calendar for next Tuesday
Valmond@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
There is some wild pastor (from south Africa?) who “dreamt that jesus is coming. Soon.” Apparently it’s tomorrow to thursday. And then there is some sort of tribulation for 3.5 or 7 years or whatever.
There is going to be lots of people “disappearing” during those two days, according to all this bullshit.
I can’t wait 🥱😴
Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
Occurring over a couple of days? Guess that finally answers my question in whether the rapture would happen planet-wide all at once, or go by time zones.
T00l_shed@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Thank you! I was genuinely curious what happened
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 hours ago
It would be good if all the hypocrites who preach about how christlike they are woukd go away
IndridCold@lemmy.ca 6 hours ago
I got raptured but I was hung up on my bedsheets an just floated in the bedroom for 20 minutes. I guess I’ll have to catch the next one.
MeatPilot@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Ah that sucks! I got halfway up and my beam started sputtering, letting me go a little, and struggling to pull me up again. An angel flew down to warn me there could only be one person per beam due to weight constraints and realized it was just me.
They slowly lowered me back down, stuttering the whole way. Dropped me the last 5ft, than I heard a booming voice from the sky say “No fatties”.
ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 5 hours ago
I remember being sucked up a beam of light and two
aliensangels welcomed me. Then I woke up in my bed with no memory. Was I raptured?IndridCold@lemmy.ca 5 hours ago
How does your anus feel?
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 hours ago
They felt the power of the Lord inside them
ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 4 hours ago
A little tender however I had spicy food last night.
frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 hours ago
Can we circle back and reschedule the rapture for next week? Carrie is on vacation and we need her input.
grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
I was very disappointed at the gym this morning when I realized I didn’t have it all to myself.
cowfodder@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Technically not supposed to happen until the horns sound in Jerusalem, which will happen at sundown. I think we have a little bit longer before we can really mock these morons.
random_character_a@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
I just ruptured.
WanderWisley@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Not me I’ve been sinning since the 90’s.
Corporal_Punishment@feddit.uk 5 hours ago
Shit, I missed it. I guess I’m stuck here now
Stern@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
I chose not to and made a few bucks for petwatching
gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 hours ago
Yes! I did get swiftly kicked out.
Cornflake@pawb.social 4 hours ago
Happy Rosh Hashanah
Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 34 minutes ago
I feel like I had a near-miss