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Anon does some online shopping

⁨447⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Gorilladrums@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨greentext@sh.itjust.works⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/09ccb91d-e950-4a19-9e34-d23c40b78d2f.jpeg

source

Comments

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  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨49⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    This is 100% accurate.

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  • Sciaphobia@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Open browser

    Browser demands updates

    All extensions update simultaneously. Each opens its own tab to proudly announce bug fixes for bugs you never noticed.

    Close ten tabs you didn’t open

    Miss one. It autoplays a video ad.

    Type in search bar. Autocomplete offers suggestions that are 5 years old, NSFW, or both.

    Search for a product. Top results: Ads. Sidebar: Ads. Bottom: Ads. An actual organic result is wedged between an ad and a newsletter signup modal.

    Click real-looking result. Redirected to a shady dropshipper site.

    Back button doesn’t work. It reloads the same scam page five times. You lose the original tab somewhere in a pile of redirects.

    Click Amazon link. It’s a new seller with the business name “USB_Cable_Amazon_Partner_Official.” 13,000 reviews. All 5 stars.

    Try to read reviews. Most are for the wrong product. Many are AI-generated gibberish. The rest complain about shipping.

    Add to cart. You are not logged in.

    Log in.

    CAPTCHA challenge: Pick all the traffic lights. Traffic lights are 1 pixel wide. One is technically a lamppost. Verification failed.

    2 factor authentication push. By the time you get the authenticator open, the session expired. Start over.

    Try to close browser. Are you sure you want to close 37 tabs?”

    Yes. It crashes.

    Reopens all 37 tabs next launch.

    Give up and use your phone

    4 popups, fingerprint required, and every link jumps when the page loads because of delayed ad banners.

    App store ad appears for the site you’re already on

    Clicking “x” opens the ad anyway.

    You close the phone browser

    Go outside

    Get a push notification: “You left items in your cart.”

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    • ch00f@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      I think it’s interesting that in 2005, the internet had a ton of popups and scammy ads that told you “you just won a free iPod!” and everyone knew that was a thing. There was even a gag about it in Scary Movie 3: Image

      Yet you don’t hear people complain about that as much today. It’s like so much of the internet has been cordoned off into walled gardens that most users don’t see pages out in the open.

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    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      One trick for the “back button doesn’t work” is to right click it and select the page you want to go back to from that list.

      Though I do wish back buttons worked on clicks rather than loads or anything a site can override with javascript. I hate the sites that treat scrolling to the next article as a new page. It trains me to not scroll to the next one, even if it looks interesting, because they fuck with my browser like that (even though I can work around it, fuck them for the attempt).

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      • grue@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

        The other day I found one that I’m pretty sure somehow removed the earlier entries from the back button list.

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    • spankmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      This should be etched into gold as a perfect description of life in 2025.

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    • pennomi@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You missed scroll hijacking because reinventing how things move on the screen is important for some reason?

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  • Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    And don’t even get me started on payment.

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    • ChilledPeppers@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Based Brazil has pix: select payment method, scan qr code with your bank app, pay.

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  • A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Honestly like 2/3 of this is handled by the right Firefox plugins but that JavaScript Shuffle bullshit drives me INSANE

    MY PHONE IS AN HTML ONLY ZONE

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    • decipher_jeanne@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Yeah… I tried that for a while. You don’t go very far on modern internet with JS disabled

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  • sunglocto@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Librewolf + Ublock origin with cookie popups blocked

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    • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨33⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Yeah, Librewolf is kinda the best web browser. I still need to use Firefox for some things that just have to be invasive, like I think my bank needs the browser to be a little less locked down, but man I love just browsing the web and only seeing what I want to see.

      source
  • Quik@infosec.pub ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You obviously also need an account for everything. This requirement is only communicated at checkout.

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    • relativestranger@feddit.nl ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      i always look for the ‘guest’ checkout option. some merchants have it, and i’ll choose them over somewhere like azn if the price is reasonably close.

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  • Beryl@jlai.lu ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Also the thing you’re actually looking for will be on the 3rd result page, buried under a dozen vaguely related items that are the site ''recommendation ‘’ even though you typed the exact reference of the thing you were looking for.

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  • happydoors@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Yeah, idk. 2005 internet sucked in a lot of ways too. Nostalgia doing a lot of work here

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    • capuccino@lemmy.world ⁨27⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      I can’t see me doing shopping online in 2005

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  • Gowron_Howard@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    UX my ass. These “improvements” only hinder the user.

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    • currycourier@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I suppose they never specified it was supposed to be a good user experience?

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    • Samskara@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The X stands for eXploitation.

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    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Our target audience is people with cognitive disabilities who still have access to a credit card.

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  • jumping_redditor@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    it is bad enough on some websites to make me wish I could just use a mail catalog thing

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  • MeaanBeaan@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    In 2005 they would have just taken your data without asking.

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  • gibmiser@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It used to be that the ads, viruses and tracking were on the web pages, but now we are so blessed that they are built into our browsers and operating systems! Talk about optimization!

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  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Hitting myself with the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind machine

    Websites in 2005 never had annoying popups and obnoxious JavaScript and a thousand bad design decisions that made using them terrible.

    Everything was so easy back then and you could always trust your anonymous Internet retail vendor to do exactly what you paid them for.

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  • Cruxifux@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Remember YouTube before ads? Seriously profit motive and infinite growth ruins everything. I want to play Luigi’s mansion every time google asks me to switch to an app or sign in when I google something. Like fuck off.

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  • apftwb@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    OK. Someone please drop a comment to this post telling me how to make all the “sign in to Google” and “Allow Essential Cookie” popups to go away. uBlock filter list?

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    • reseller_pledge609@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Consent-O-Matic should make the cookie popups less of a problem at least.

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      • Skullgrid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        Oh man that sounds so great

        Click link
        Already installed

        🗿Feels chad man.

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    • sunglocto@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      There’s a cookie popup blocker in the filter lists by default. You can just enable it and it will dissapear 90% of cookie popups

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