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Depressing awful town

⁨906⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net⁩ to ⁨memes@sopuli.xyz⁩

https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/79db7859-b94f-47b4-91a0-052930589f97.jpeg

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Comments

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  • Please_Do_Not@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Lol I can’t believe this is real. How terrible must food be in your city for this to be successful? en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altoona-style_pizza

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    • db2@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      While originally topped with Velveeta, Altoona-style pizza is popularly topped with yellow processed cheese known as American cheese. The yellow squares of American cheese are a staple of this dish, used instead of the mozzarella or provolone common to other styles of pizza.

      Everything about that paragraph makes me feel ill.

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      • Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Following the destruction of the hotel in 2013 by fire, other local restaurants began serving Altoona-style pizza

        It could have died there, but they had to do this

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      • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I do find it comical that Americans call processed cheese “American”

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      • 30p87@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Mozzarella is nice though, just that it’s mentioned makes me feel a bit better. As if the world isn’t broken completely.

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      • nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That passage explains the what , but nothing can explain the why.

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      • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        This made me discover Velveeta. I wish I hadn’t.

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      • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Lol, I do eat this type of cheese with grilled cheese… But this application is disgusting.

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    • 30p87@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      1000041697

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      • db2@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Fun fact, you can trigger Wikipedia editors by changing the page in developer console and posting a screenshot of it, they’ll scramble to revert a change that doesn’t exist.

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    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The most successful businesses in Altoona when I lived there in the early 2010s were drug rehabilitation centers. All the factories closed, and the town is slowly dying.

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  • expatriado@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    American cheese on pizza? that’s the kind of thing I would do if I’m down to the last two items in the kitchen, and feel too lazy to go shopping, but still would hate it

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    • jonne@infosec.pub ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      That’s the type of thing you make if you have nothing else in the fridge and you can’t go out to get anything else. And you’d keep that shit quiet and never admit to it.

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      • perviouslyiner@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Like Kenji’s smash burgers, “held together with hope and American Cheese”

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    • cerement@slrpnk.net ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      cook with it? yeah
      call it pizza? nope

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  • ThatGuyNamedZeus@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    there’s no excuse for making a bad pizza. It’s pizza, it’s very hard to do it wrong

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    • dufkm@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah like, just don’t call it a pizza and we’re good. Call it an “Altooner” or whatever, but don’t soil the good reputation of pizza with whatever this creation is.

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      • exasperation@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Altoona melt

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    • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Misc toppings on bread dough with some kind of cheese is probably thousands of years old.

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      • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        If memory serves right a round bread with toppings is semi important in the Aeneid. Which assuming it isnt based off of older traditions means its at least 2000 years old, though I dont know if Virgil was pulling from older shit so I cant say for certain. Also I dont know if cheese was in Italy by that point.

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    • Psythik@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The only people who say this are people who have never had good pizza before.

      The “iT’s PiZzA, sO iT’s GoOd” crowd drive me nuts. You would probably put ketchup and Velveeta on a Ritz cracker and call it a pizza. Have some standards, my dude.

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      • ThatGuyNamedZeus@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I do have standards. It’s easy to make good pizza, you’d have to be an idiot with zero culinary skills to mess it up

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  • sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This is a fucking culinary crime.

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  • Rooskie91@discuss.online ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Y’all better be careful or you’re going to fall down a rabithold of locally celebrated yet disgusting pizza in PA. It’s like a whole thing there.

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    • RebekahWSD@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I knew PA was evil, but I never knew just how horrible.

      I am biased being from NJ, but these pizzas vindicate me!

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    • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I propose the removal of Pennsylvania, except Philadelphia theyre chill.

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      • TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        its cuz PA west of the Appalachins is basically the midwest. it’s like having next door neighbors from Iowa

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      • beejboytyson@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Weren’t they a murder capital for a bit?

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  • dumbass@leminal.space ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Is this town filled with broke stoners or something?

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    • rockSlayer@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Broke stoners in rural Pennsylvania? Say it ain’t so!

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    • fishos@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Dunno about this particular area of PA, but the areas I am familiar with… the answer is meth.

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  • pewpew@feddit.it ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This is not pizza.

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  • Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Not even pineapple could save that.

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  • Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Hello? I would like to report a crime against humanity.

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  • bruhduh@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I mean, sandwich bread, tomato sauce, ham and cheese on top, it’s not a pizza, it’s a microwaved 3am sandwich

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    • radicalautonomy@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not cheese. Kraft fucking singles

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      • chaogomu@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Kraft singles are still cheese. They’ve just been pasteurized and adulterated with sodium citrate.

        That actually makes them super useful in making a cheese sauce.

        Add a few slices to a queso and it will not break.

        You fat. Smooth cheesey sauce that comes out perfect every time.

        You can make sodium citrate with lemon juice and baking soda. Lime juice also works. Really any citric acid.

        Anyway, you don’t need much to make cheese melt smoothly.

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      • bruhduh@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        When night munchies comes… You don’t care about quality of ingredients, anyway it’s just a slapstick sandwich and not a pizza, only “crime” they do is calling it pizza and pricing it as such, if it was marketed as cheap slapstick sandwiches on the go, i don’t think anyone would have problems with that

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    • NutWrench@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yup. This is a stoner snack.

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      • bruhduh@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        True that

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  • Tikiporch@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Every person I’ve shared Altoona pizza with ironically has ended up unironically liking it, so I don’t know anymore. I’ve never actually had it myself. Maybe this isn’t any worse than Hawaiian pizza or cauliflower crust pizza?

    At the end of the day though, this is just a regional food - like Cincinnati chili or Chicago hot dog - only after all the good ideas are taken, this was what was left. If they can sell one to everybody passing through Altoona just once, they’ve made a fair amount of money.

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    • s_s@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Cincinnati chili is beloved by Cincinnati, though…

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  • Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    And they say white people have no culture.

    Grand sweeping gesture

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    • wieson@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      No-one ever talks about white on white violence

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  • Mandy@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’m Austrian and I feel betrayed

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    • pewpew@feddit.it ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m italian, my day is ruined.

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  • Syd@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Honestly this doesn’t sound like it would taste all that bad. Thick crust, tomato sauce, green bell pepper, fried salami, and Velveeta cheese? That’s gonna be pretty tasty. Calling it pizza might be the biggest issue, maybe something like open faced pepper sandwich would be better.

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    • Futtyklam@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Stop

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    • Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I bet you also think health insurance CEOs are hard working, upstanding members of the community.

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    • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I mean, you just described a thick crust hot pocket. Which isn’t bad. It ain’t good, but it ain’t bad.

      Pretty much, any combination of bread, cheese, and tomato sauce is edible. The salami is just there for texture

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  • Juice@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I mean to be clear I’m from altoona and I’ve never seen pizza like this.

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  • Anissem@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’d hork down a block of sketchy dicks before I’d let this abomination inside of me.

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    • Linktank@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m not trying to judge, but your bar for that might be slightly too low.

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      • bestagon@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I’d wolf down a barrel of sloppy dicks. Also, I don’t really care for this pizza

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  • biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Are those fucken Kraft singles? That’s deplorable and I am disgusted beyond the spiritual realm.

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  • Thcdenton@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    There better be chilli fries under that cheese

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  • empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’m the one to do gross shit like dip a dill pickle in mayonnaise at 3am, and even this looks objectively horrifying to me

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  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Would you like a stroke?

    Say what?

    Would you like a pizza with a side of stroke hun?

    Nah, but can I get it will a double pounder heart attack? And a side of diarrhea? I’m trying to keep my height to weight ratio.

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  • Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Mayon-egg

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  • possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Heart disease

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    • zarkanian@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I don’t think it’s any less healthy than ordinary pizza. Just tastes like trash.

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      • potustheplant@feddit.nl ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Cheddar has more calories and fat than mozzarella. It’s also more processed and has more additives.

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  • DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The American Cheese with Pizza

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  • pyre@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    that tweet reply is just 👄🤌

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  • where_am_i@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s ok. Our fellow Americans just don’t understand the meaning of the word pizza.

    – yurobro

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  • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    There are appropriate uses of government cheese product. This is absolutely not one of them.

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