sp3tr4l
@sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip
- Comment on After is a new dating app that tries to tackle ghosting 2 days ago:
So, the goal here is to prevent ghosting by making ghosting minutely costly to the ghoster.
They pick from an array of multiple reasons why, and the app formulates an exceptionally kindly worded explanation to send to the ghosted person.
I don’t see this as dangerous to people who are ghosting potentially dangerous people.
Instead of getting nothing, and formulating whatever cockamamie explanation in their own minds (or maybe just going ‘sigh, oh well’), they at least get a facsimile of closure from a canned response.
Obviously this does not magically solve the many problems of dating apps, but I fail to see how this is more dangerous than just ghosting on its own.
The problem is that its minutely time consuming to provide a ghosting explanation.
This ghost explanation requirement requires people to actually explain themselves, and that’s gonna be very cumbersome to people who are not really looking for a serious, long term relationship.
It makes it very annoying to use the app in a scattershot approach for rapid fire hookups, with tons of potentials on deck, as you’ll be forced to consistently ‘tend’ to all of your simultaneous matches, or drop them…
…and for people who think they’re looking for a serious, monogamous relationship, but consistently ghost people, it will basically cause uncomfortable cognitive dissonance when they realize they don’t like having to do a modicum if effort to explain why no one seems to meet their standards or is due their attention, even though they previously thought they were interested.
Basically, the problem I see with this app is that it forces users toward being honest with themselves.
- Comment on Do your mouth tissues absorb more caffeine after a tonsillectomy/other surgery? 2 days ago:
It could be a cool or lukewarm beverage with caffeine, and I have seen people drink and eat stuff their dentists tell them not to after an oral surgery, and tonsilectomies can leave open wounds if the dentist doesn’t fully cauterize them or bandage them properly…
But southsamurai seems confident that the difference between absorption into exposed oral capillaries and just normally through your gums/mouth is negligible.
- Comment on Do your mouth tissues absorb more caffeine after a tonsillectomy/other surgery? 2 days ago:
Could having open wounds in your mouth allow caffeine in a beverage to directly enter your blood stream much more quickly than when it is processed by your digestive system?
- Comment on Lord, I was born a scramblin' maaaaan 2 days ago:
- Comment on Would it be weird if I took something my neighbor put out for trash? 4 days ago:
Assuming you aren’t a hoarder, and you properly clean it… well, yes, its weird by the modern standards of our consumeristic society, but in actuality no, this is recycling.
Landfills are full of things that, had they not been placed in a landfill, could likely have been repurposed and reused by someone, somewhere.
- Comment on Anon remembers first grade 5 days ago:
Are you talking about the whole vegan drama or did something else happen?
- Comment on Would you consider making a sandwich to be "cooking?" 6 days ago:
True, but, turn that into I’m cooking up a sandwich, and now the phrase potentially expands its domain to basically mean any kind of food preparation.
The addition if ‘up’ makes it less literal, more jovial and less bounded.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
Ah trains, my first love, hahah.
Speaking for myself, I do find it pretty funny how the ‘obsessed with trains at/from a young age’ stereotype very often actually is true of Autists, amidst the vast, churning ocean of more common yet wildly inaccurate and offensive stereotypes.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
That’s warfare, in an urban environment, prosecuted (as military observers all agree) with the maximum possible degree of protection for the civilian population
Other than the IPCC and ICJ and basically the entire world and even members of the Biden admin so disgusted by whats going on that they resigned in protest, sure!
We all know the maximally safe thing to do is to carpet bomb the designated safe zone civillians were instructed to flee to.
We all know the best way to get your hostages back is to blow up buildings they might be in with a fucking tank cannon at point blank, because the hannibal doctrine of killing hostages that are too difficult to extract is more expedient.
How could it be the case that Israel is both feeding Palestinians and “genociding” them?
It isn’t. You believe a lie. Everyone other than Israel themselves has been claiming and reporting on Israel is saying they are allowing food in when they actually are not.
Anyway, you’re very obviously an idiot, troll, hasbarah clown, or some combination of those.
It’s been fun, toodles.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
Ok so you don’t seem to know much about psychology.
Sure, in an extremely broad sense, all humans have the capability to act in any way.
When certain groups of people actually do, repeatedly act in certain ways more often than others do, when its so commonplace to them that other people have to point out that they are behaving that way because they do not even realize it, now you have the beginnings of how to classify people psychologically.
If we all have the theoretical, idealized capacity to violently assault and murder random animals with no provocation or explanation… super. Great.
How about the people that actually do that regularly?
You can’t do any kind if psychological screening or differentiation or descriptors whatsoever if your entire theory is ‘well technically anybody can do anything, so everyone is the same’.
This is like 11th grade debate club sophistry you’re pushing here.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
… Hummus is a popular staple of cuisine all over the eastern mediterranean and much of the middle east.
The word ‘hummus’ itself is from Arabic.
Hummus is not particularly unique to Israel.
You’ve apparently heard of hummus but you don’t know much about it.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
Ok since you are either ignorant or quite dense:
The Irish were forced into monocrop agriculture by their Imperial Overlords.
The Famine was greatly exacerbated by capitalist agents of their Imperial Overlords exporting food from Ireland, which could have fed the Irish, but they were paid so little, their buying power could not compete with higher prices offered by exports.
Also, Israel is currently committing a genocide inasmuch as they have militarily invaded an area, bombed it into and its inhabitants into oblivion, killing far, far more civilian casualties than combatant, with multiple instances of designating safe areas for civilians to flee to and then bombing the fuck out of them weeks later.
Oh, and they’re also causing a famine by not allowing food in, even drone striking and shooting up UN food convoys.
Finally, some forms of racism become unacceptable in the current day because attention and scorn are brought by people who make the atrocities of the past known.
You’re probably not gonna be able to get away with polite company hearing you refer to a black person as a n*r or an arab as a sand nr or an asian person as a ching chong, even though you absolutely could not too many decades ago, and the reason that is the case is that social movements brought historical wrongs into present attention.
That it is still acceptable to joke about irish potatoes is something that seems strange and hypocritical to an autistic person who is far more likely to see the arbitrary nature of social norms, is far more likely to try to establish consistent, inviolable rules, than to an allistic person to whom the rules of socialization are basically processed and determined subconsciously, without need for an analytic approach
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
Honest question: Are neurodivergents functionally a protected class from discrimination in the US, the way religion, race, sexuality, gender are?
The only even theorerical backing for that I can think of is the ADA, and I have never once heard of it or any other law being actually used by a neurodivergent against discrimination.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
Please learn about Irish history.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
I don’t doubt they’re autistic.
I also don’t understand why you think they’re an asshole. Allistic people often do act like low tier psychopaths: manipulative, selfish, overconfident and hypocritical.
It’s just that they do this in ways they don’t perceive, such that they don’t recognize it until it crosses a more extreme threshold.
Here’s a … perhaps more palatable version of the same idea:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=cZiR4o6j4HY&pp=ygUyd2hhdCBh…
And if you’d like to know more:
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
Hey, totally serious here:
You got a bit overheated, realized it, and you’re taking a break.
I totally get just becoming so angry at the hypocrisy of it all, and I genuinely just want to commend you for realizing when you got a bit hot headed.
If only our allistic acquaintances had the same ability to admit when their emotions are driving their actions.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
Sorry, I have a knee jerk comedy response to any idea that Autistic people will ever actually be seen as anything other than weird smart people that occasionally freak out for no reason and are hard to talk to.
I mean sure, you can describe allistic people pathologically they way they describe us pathologically, and sure, a few genuinely empathetic people might care, but the rest will not change.
While I do not socialize cynically with ulterior motives, I am quite cynical that the idea of precisely and accurately shaming the vast majority of humans on the planet having any positive social effect.
My whole life has been explaining myself and my basic boundaries to people and maybe 3% of them actually make a conscious effort to not be manipulative hypocrites.
Hence the semi-serious, semi-on-topic, semi-ironic Autist Zion suggestion:
We don’t fit in well anywhere, we’re misunderstood and mistreated quite often, and though I genuinely would love to live in a place with a majority Autist population, actual Zionism itself shows how making a designated safe territory for a people group can be extremely problematic.
Hell, someone else is already replying to me and I think? they are seriously suggesting mass vigilante violence in the name of stamping out bigots…
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
=D
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
… who is ‘you idiots?’
Autistic people? Everyone who’s ever experienced a bigoted insult?
… Can you actually explain your plan here?
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
Well damn, I am genuinely shocked that is working for you, but also very glad to hear that at least its working out well for you!
I had a job like that once.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
I propose we start Zionism for Autists.
I’m sure that’ll go well rofl.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
What I mean by nightmare for autistic people is that autistic people, while often excelling at tasks and activities that have firm, mechanical, logical rules, are also often totally bewildered by social interactions because, on their face, they don’t really seem to follow any black and white rules.
Autists try to logic their way, consciously, through a challenging social interaction as if it were a game of chess, even though the rules are basically calvinball rules.
My point is that this kind of catastrophic social interaction is more likely and more challenging for a neurodiverse than a neurotypical, not that the Israeli’s incitement was justifiable.
literally would have just decked him in the face and stormed out because that’s the only scenario where OP is making it clear that authority does not equal privilege.
Yep and that’s how you ruin your career and possibly go to jail, have fun paying off your student loans at a min wage job the rest of your life after everyone hears about the guy that freaked out over a friendly dinner and broke the funny popular guy’s orbital bone.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
I also stopped playing ‘the game’ long ago and no longer put up with shitty people, but I can only do that because I’m on SSDI and don’t have to interact with people in an employment setting.
Anon here is learning the hard way that basically, to advance in almost any modern, monetarily lucrative career, and most non lucrative ones, welp, you have to play this stupid social jockeying game because that is subconsciously how most others determine your worth as an employee, as a coworker.
You can do the ‘explain why thats funny’ angle, but that just makes … you look like an asshole, a killjoy … to the people whose jobs are their lives, their selves.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
Fuck, I’d actually forgotten that.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
in this case what happened is that the irish potato famine got normalized over time but the genocide in gaza is a current event
Yep, basically this. To most non Irish people or those who haven’t bothered to learn, its just a commonly socially acceptable racist joke.
Third thing is most neurotypicals are pussies, if you spend time with neurodivergent people you realize that a lot of things they say are funny as fuck, even if its a bit raw sometimes.
My experience is that almost all of them are selfish hypocritical bullies, though I do seem to have just had astounding low quality people around me for much of my life. I have had a few genuinely nice neurotypical friends, but they’re a small minority.
(I actually just think David Bowie had the right idea being afraid of Americans. We’re boorish, ignorant cocksure, backstabbing assholes compared to everyone I’ve ever met or know from another country.)
The vast majority of neurotypicals I’ve known who constantly give me shit and often don’t even realize they are doing so?
They either have nervous breakdowns or become physically violent when I dish back 10% of what they’ve thrown at me by simply explaining their own hypocrisy to them.
Doing so is funny to me because to me their hypocrisy is self-evident and thus they are just are absurd but it breaks the brains of people who seem to just say shit with very low self-awareness.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
This is true, (see my last paragraph) but … that is not as widely known.
Most people just think ‘Idk, Irish people like potatoes’.
Most people think it is just in the realm of dietary preferences and cuisine and don’t know why.
Even though there is a fairly direct equivalence if you actually know the history of the stereotype, most people don’t.
Thus you are perceived as overreacting if you jump right to genocide.
To attempt an analogy:
It’s like if a boomer tells a millennial or gen z to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, and they point out that the original meaning of that phrase was meant to encapsulate the literal physical impossibility of doing so as analogous to making a decent living for yourself in an economy where very very few people have the means/opportunity/connections/dumb luck to earn more than basically a subsistence wage.
The boomer just gets offended or bewildered because they didn’t know that, or they don’t believe it, and they’re too arrogant to admit they have no real, useful advice, and that all they have to offer is infantilization.
Their ignorance (and inability to admit their knowledge is flawed) allows them to keep using an offensive phrase and not see this as offensive.
- Comment on Anon applies for a job 1 week ago:
Same experience here.
I’ve learned the basics of 15 different database, coding, web design languages over the course of many different tech jobs … because my job description would just randomly expand into something new within 2 months.
And of course, I had to teach myself all this, with only one exception of an actual competent manager who actually properly trained me.
Nothing is ever documented, or the documentation is wrong.
One job I had as a data analyst for the executive level of a logistics company. The person I was replacing had coded some extremely high level reports wrong and was double counting some categories such that total, global revenue for the company was overestimated by about 30%
I fixed it and explained the fix.
Not a single executive of this world wide logistics company seemed to notice.
- Comment on Anon goes to dinner with coworkers 1 week ago:
Actual autist here: Took me a loooong time to figure out a whole bunch of social concepts when it comes to what neurotypicals basically deem as small talk.
Firstly, you basically just have to accept that for most people, a level of classist, racist, other kinds of stereotypical insults are socially viewed as basically acceptable, even though its usually quite obvious they are, in fact, insults.
Then you have to understand the concept of proportionality in small talk. You have to reply with something that’s very obviously and directly relevant, and of the same magnitude.
(Jumping from an insult about dietary preferences to an insult about war crimes is not the same magnitude)
Encapsulating this entire social interaction is the setting: coworkers of mixed nationality likely and an after work dinner likely implies an expectation of basically corporate social etiquette, ie, back handed compliments to establish a social dominance hierarchy, where the name of the game us getting as close to breaching the invisible ‘wow what an asshole’ line without actually stepping over it.
To avoid looking meek, docile, awkward or antisocial, you have to figure out an appropriate small talk style reply, which actually requires a fairly detailed knowledge of the other persons you are conversing with. Their culture, personal history, personal beliefs, etc.
So ok, if you know a bit about Israelis, you might attempt to insult back along the lines of dietary preferences.
But, its a faux pas to escalate even within this realm of responses: If you retort that you ‘prefer your potatoes with pork’, well, that’s probably going to be viewed as quite rude, as that’s still a higher magnitude, as it references something that is commonly known to be forbidden to most Israelis.
What might be a proportional response would be ‘Sorry, I’d make them (the potatoes) into latkes for you, but I don’t have any eggs’.
But that may still be deemed as overly offensive, depending on the temperament of the Israeli and the level to which the other coworkers feel the need to be defensive toward perceived anti-semitism.
So, as an autistic person, you have to consciously have all this knowledge and think through it all logically in real time, all while your actual emotion is anger because you don’t give a fuck that the potato comment was supposed to be a joke, because it was in actuality a racist insult that actually references a fucking famine and a dietary stereotype that exists largely due to imperialist exploitation of your ancestors.
In summary, yeah small talk is an absolute nightmare for autistic people who are in an aggressive, hostile social environment, which, at least in my experience, is almost all of them.
- Comment on Grand Theft Auto Online Reportedly Broken On Steam Deck 1 week ago:
Thats … amazing.
Reminds me of when someone figured out that a huge part of the reason Halo Infinite takes so long to load and go between various menu screens was something like the game redownloading hundreds or thousands of the same exact image, in very high resolutions… basically instead of just pointing multiple instances of the image being used to a single file and directory, for some reason each distinct usage of this same image had its own unique directory…
Its the kind of oopsie daisy you expect from a first time modder, not some of the most expensive dev teams in the world.
Also along those lines, kind of: BF2042 has had and still does have a fundamental flaw with the engine level code for fucking mouse movement interpolation.
They never fixed it. They admitted it exists in their bug logs, but they never managed to fix one of the most fundamental parts of a shooter game, how aiming itself works.
- Comment on Grand Theft Auto Online Reportedly Broken On Steam Deck 1 week ago:
I do not, could you explain it?
It’s been… about half a decade since I last played GTO.