Considering it’s only 8 seconds this must be the fastest fucking elevator ever so I’m probably screaming
You have 8 seconds.
Submitted 3 weeks ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/892ca055-acc0-4952-910a-286b77a1f850.jpeg
Comments
Fleur_@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Damage@feddit.it 3 weeks ago
The elevator is actually out of order, she likes hanging in there, but you leave as soon as you see it doesn’t work
littlewonder@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Is she a ghost?
Mac@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
I make brief eye contact, purse my lips to form a half-smile, and nod my head downward. Then i move to an open corner of the elevator, i pull my phone out, and i end my turn.
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
The elevator stops at the next floor and a Chadbro™ enters. He does not notice you, and does not press any buttons on the elevator. He sniffs his pits before posting his hand on the wall beside the woman and whispers something in her ear. Her face changes to disgust and she darts a pleading glance in your direction, silently asking for help.
I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 3 weeks ago
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Good_morning@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
I smile casually then turn slightly away from them before sitting down crossed legs facing away, trying to focus on my romantic web comics.
Emi@ani.social 3 weeks ago
Nothing and just awkwardly stare on the floor or wall, like with anyone else.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Second 1: introduce myself Second 2: Andrew Tate pose Second 3: obtain phone number Second 4: go on date Second 5: head home with them Second 6: get touchy Second 7: undress Second 8: get off at my floor because I already came at second 1.
EllenKelly@hexbear.net 3 weeks ago
Youre disgusting.
GiveOver@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
I know, who gets phone numbers these days?
Fleur_@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Yeah my bad for responding to the premise with sexual comedy rather than quirky comedy
Slovene@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Absolutely nothing because people who have elevator conversations are not worth talking to.
butter@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
Hey. Some of my best conversations have taken place in an elevator.
But yeah, I’m not worth talking to
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Well, considering the only elevator I take is to a secure area, I’d ask to see your visitor’s badge and inform you civilians aren’t allowed here unescorted.
Slovene@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
She IS the escort.
rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I got a gift card from the airport for challenging the “secret shopper” once. Apparently had walked past four actual employees before I challenged him. I was on my way to the jobsite.
meliaesc@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
Why do you assume she doesn’t have clearance?
Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
No access badge clearly visible attached between neck and waist.
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
We have 11 people with clearance and I know them all.
Toofpic@feddit.dk 3 weeks ago
Only cleav…ance. Haha!
Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
That’s because you have big jugs.
I mean, I want to squeeze em!
Mamma!
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I was thinking about this exact scene
RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Risky click of the day paid off
TachyonTele@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Damn. Mod removed my comment because it said “boobies”. Surprised yours is still up.
azalty@jlai.lu 3 weeks ago
What the fuck was that x)
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Liar liar. 90s movie where Jim Carey plays a lawyer that gets put under a spell or something n then can’t tell a lie anymore.
psmgx@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Well, Pac-man was originally called Puck-man. They changed it because… Not because Pac-man looks like a hockey puck. “Paku Paku” means “flap your mouth”, and they were worried that people would change, scratch out the P turn it into an F, like…
lischni_tschelowek@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
Were you the Pac-man guy?
Quadhammer@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
No I was the fuck man guy… wait
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I wouldn’t say anything because some women find elevator pickup attempts intimidating.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Tbf women say they find just interacting with men at all intimidating, see: Bears. I just don’t talk to anyone anymore tbh.
I’m gonna die alone with my cats, but at least I won’t be called creepy for asking a woman out for coffee!
Use the apps
No, privacy nightmare.
kilgore_trout@feddit.it 3 weeks ago
Don’t trust what the loud voices say.
Many, if not most, women are normal humans like you, looking for interaction like you.
fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Women won’t let men leave until they’ve squashed a bug that’s 20 feet away from them. The bear thing was always bullshit.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
No that’s not fair, they do not. Don’t be creepy in the elevator, or alone in the woods, or anywhere else where you guys are gonna say “because of the implication”.
hex@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
That’s just wrong and putting a blanket statement for no reason.
isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Way back when I was single, I could pick up a woman without even having to corner her.
Wanderer@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Just follow the good old rules of 1 and 2.
It’s not hard
lemonmelon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Don’t talk about fight club?
DON’T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB?
Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
If you jump at the right moment, you can achieve weightlessness.
Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
Nothing because I’m taking the stairs
Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Omg girl, you look amazing in that dress. I’m so jealous. Be safe girl and remember to cover your drink.
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Literally the only correct answer other than polite silence.
Damage@feddit.it 3 weeks ago
There’s always “hello” and “have a nice day”
callouscomic@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
“I need less time to finish.”
Superfool@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Get in the lift.
Stare while ripping an absolutely rancid fart that strips the enamel off her teeth.
Sharpie my number across her tits and give her “double-guns” on the way out
isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
Superfool@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Illecors@lemmy.cafe 3 weeks ago
Thanks for making me laugh!
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
I don’t understand. What’s a uniform gravitational field and why does it feel like standing in an accelerating elevator?
GrabtharsHammer@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
This is a joke about Einstein’s form of the Equivalence Principle:
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
The weak equivalence principle, also known as the universality of free fall or the Galilean equivalence principle can be stated in many ways.
And
“… in a uniform gravitational field all objects, regardless of their composition, fall with precisely the same acceleration.” “The weak equivalence principle implicitly assumes that the falling objects are bound by non-gravitational forces.”[11]
I’m just beginning to understand. I’m not there yet.
woodenghost@hexbear.net 3 weeks ago
It’s just that normal gravity on earth feels exactly like being in an accelerating escalator in space. So you can’t tell the difference from the inside. Like in the elevator you can ask them, wether your still on earth or accelerating in space. Einstein used this thought experiment to develop the general theory of relativity.
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
Aaah. I understand. :)
Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 3 weeks ago
Nothing. It’s eight seconds and both of us are probably going to be glancing at our phones anyway.
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
This is getting insane. I (somewhat at least) get those “you have 24hs with me” ones but what am i gonna do with you in 8 seconds. Id rather spend 24h with an egirl than 8 seconds with you lol.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
I was expecting this to be a video where her tits bounce in an elevator. Thoroughly disappointed.
problematicPanther@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If a hotdog is a sandwich, is the ocean a soup?
TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
A hotdog is not a sandwich.
If you serve bacon, lettuce, and tomato on a plate, you do not call that a sandwich.
But if you serve a hotdog without a bun, you still call it a hotdog.
QED.
ben_dover@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
In German, that would be a just a sausage
samus12345@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
And using that same reasoning, a hotdog on a bun is a sandwich.
fossilesque@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
It is The Primordial Soup
Agent641@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I would like the primordial salad instead
AllOutOfBubbleGum@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
A hotdog is a taco.
nobleshift@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
[deleted]badcommandorfilename@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
That’s how you can tell if you’re accelerating
socsa@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
For a small moment in time my dick and my brain will have separable frames of reference
GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
“Nice uhh, b-leather we’re having, uh.”
cry, drop my spaghetti and run out
Hikermick@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Going down?
just_an_average_joe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Realistically nothing. You gain very little by saying something then you lose not saying anything. The only time people somewhat appreciate being talked to is when they already recognise you a little…
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
What floor?
A7thStone@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You don’t have the proper PPE for the radiologically controlled area.
TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The modern mind is in complete disarray. Knowledge has stretched itself to the point where neither the world nor our intelligence can find any foot-hold. It is a fact that we are suffering from nihilism.
samus12345@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Nothing, I don’t like small talk with strangers.
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
Tip my fedora and say M’Lady
Hestia@hexbear.net 3 weeks ago
sorry, i have a girlfriend already.
iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Absolutely nothing, because I wouldn’t want a stranger to talk to me in an elevator and I was raised to do unto others.
theneverfox@pawb.social 2 weeks ago
I feel awkward being in public without interaction. It’s like my brain goes into overdrive, trying to predict a sudden interaction incoming like a quick time event
I’d comment on something slightly more relevant than the weather, because the conversation can then fade to comfortable silence (for me at least) knowing no more conversation is likely, or I’d do what I always do when someone engages - everyone has something interesting about them, I’ll throw the conversation in random directions until I find a topic worth speaking about