Considering it’s only 8 seconds this must be the fastest fucking elevator ever so I’m probably screaming
You have 8 seconds.
Submitted 2 years ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/892ca055-acc0-4952-910a-286b77a1f850.jpeg
Comments
Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Damage@feddit.it 2 years ago
The elevator is actually out of order, she likes hanging in there, but you leave as soon as you see it doesn’t work
littlewonder@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Is she a ghost?
Mac@mander.xyz 2 years ago
I make brief eye contact, purse my lips to form a half-smile, and nod my head downward. Then i move to an open corner of the elevator, i pull my phone out, and i end my turn.
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 2 years ago
The elevator stops at the next floor and a Chadbro™ enters. He does not notice you, and does not press any buttons on the elevator. He sniffs his pits before posting his hand on the wall beside the woman and whispers something in her ear. Her face changes to disgust and she darts a pleading glance in your direction, silently asking for help.
I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 2 years ago
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Good_morning@lemmynsfw.com 2 years ago
I smile casually then turn slightly away from them before sitting down crossed legs facing away, trying to focus on my romantic web comics.
Emi@ani.social 2 years ago
Nothing and just awkwardly stare on the floor or wall, like with anyone else.
Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Second 1: introduce myself Second 2: Andrew Tate pose Second 3: obtain phone number Second 4: go on date Second 5: head home with them Second 6: get touchy Second 7: undress Second 8: get off at my floor because I already came at second 1.
EllenKelly@hexbear.net 2 years ago
Youre disgusting.
GiveOver@feddit.uk 2 years ago
I know, who gets phone numbers these days?
Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Yeah my bad for responding to the premise with sexual comedy rather than quirky comedy
Slovene@feddit.nl 2 years ago
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 years ago
Absolutely nothing because people who have elevator conversations are not worth talking to.
butter@midwest.social 2 years ago
Hey. Some of my best conversations have taken place in an elevator.
But yeah, I’m not worth talking to
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Well, considering the only elevator I take is to a secure area, I’d ask to see your visitor’s badge and inform you civilians aren’t allowed here unescorted.
Slovene@feddit.nl 2 years ago
She IS the escort.
rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
I got a gift card from the airport for challenging the “secret shopper” once. Apparently had walked past four actual employees before I challenged him. I was on my way to the jobsite.
meliaesc@lemmynsfw.com 2 years ago
Why do you assume she doesn’t have clearance?
Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 2 years ago
No access badge clearly visible attached between neck and waist.
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 2 years ago
We have 11 people with clearance and I know them all.
Toofpic@feddit.dk 2 years ago
Only cleav…ance. Haha!
Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 years ago
That’s because you have big jugs.
I mean, I want to squeeze em!
Mamma!
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I was thinking about this exact scene
RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Risky click of the day paid off
TachyonTele@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Damn. Mod removed my comment because it said “boobies”. Surprised yours is still up.
azalty@jlai.lu 2 years ago
What the fuck was that x)
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Liar liar. 90s movie where Jim Carey plays a lawyer that gets put under a spell or something n then can’t tell a lie anymore.
psmgx@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Well, Pac-man was originally called Puck-man. They changed it because… Not because Pac-man looks like a hockey puck. “Paku Paku” means “flap your mouth”, and they were worried that people would change, scratch out the P turn it into an F, like…
lischni_tschelowek@discuss.tchncs.de 2 years ago
Were you the Pac-man guy?
Quadhammer@lemmy.world 2 years ago
No I was the fuck man guy… wait
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
I wouldn’t say anything because some women find elevator pickup attempts intimidating.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
Tbf women say they find just interacting with men at all intimidating, see: Bears. I just don’t talk to anyone anymore tbh.
I’m gonna die alone with my cats, but at least I won’t be called creepy for asking a woman out for coffee!
Use the apps
No, privacy nightmare.
kilgore_trout@feddit.it 2 years ago
Don’t trust what the loud voices say.
Many, if not most, women are normal humans like you, looking for interaction like you.
fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Women won’t let men leave until they’ve squashed a bug that’s 20 feet away from them. The bear thing was always bullshit.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
No that’s not fair, they do not. Don’t be creepy in the elevator, or alone in the woods, or anywhere else where you guys are gonna say “because of the implication”.
hex@programming.dev 2 years ago
That’s just wrong and putting a blanket statement for no reason.
isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 2 years ago
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Way back when I was single, I could pick up a woman without even having to corner her.
Wanderer@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Just follow the good old rules of 1 and 2.
It’s not hard
lemonmelon@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Don’t talk about fight club?
DON’T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB?
Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 2 years ago
If you jump at the right moment, you can achieve weightlessness.
Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de 2 years ago
Nothing because I’m taking the stairs
Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 years ago
Omg girl, you look amazing in that dress. I’m so jealous. Be safe girl and remember to cover your drink.
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Literally the only correct answer other than polite silence.
Damage@feddit.it 2 years ago
There’s always “hello” and “have a nice day”
callouscomic@lemm.ee 2 years ago
“I need less time to finish.”
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 2 years ago
I don’t understand. What’s a uniform gravitational field and why does it feel like standing in an accelerating elevator?
GrabtharsHammer@lemmy.world 2 years ago
This is a joke about Einstein’s form of the Equivalence Principle:
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 2 years ago
The weak equivalence principle, also known as the universality of free fall or the Galilean equivalence principle can be stated in many ways.
And
“… in a uniform gravitational field all objects, regardless of their composition, fall with precisely the same acceleration.” “The weak equivalence principle implicitly assumes that the falling objects are bound by non-gravitational forces.”[11]
I’m just beginning to understand. I’m not there yet.
woodenghost@hexbear.net 2 years ago
It’s just that normal gravity on earth feels exactly like being in an accelerating escalator in space. So you can’t tell the difference from the inside. Like in the elevator you can ask them, wether your still on earth or accelerating in space. Einstein used this thought experiment to develop the general theory of relativity.
hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 2 years ago
Aaah. I understand. :)
Superfool@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Get in the lift.
Stare while ripping an absolutely rancid fart that strips the enamel off her teeth.
Sharpie my number across her tits and give her “double-guns” on the way out
isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 2 years ago
Superfool@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Illecors@lemmy.cafe 2 years ago
Thanks for making me laugh!
Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 2 years ago
Nothing. It’s eight seconds and both of us are probably going to be glancing at our phones anyway.
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 2 years ago
This is getting insane. I (somewhat at least) get those “you have 24hs with me” ones but what am i gonna do with you in 8 seconds. Id rather spend 24h with an egirl than 8 seconds with you lol.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 2 years ago
I was expecting this to be a video where her tits bounce in an elevator. Thoroughly disappointed.
problematicPanther@lemmy.world 2 years ago
If a hotdog is a sandwich, is the ocean a soup?
TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 2 years ago
A hotdog is not a sandwich.
If you serve bacon, lettuce, and tomato on a plate, you do not call that a sandwich.
But if you serve a hotdog without a bun, you still call it a hotdog.
QED.
ben_dover@lemmy.ml 2 years ago
In German, that would be a just a sausage
samus12345@lemmy.world 2 years ago
And using that same reasoning, a hotdog on a bun is a sandwich.
fossilesque@mander.xyz 2 years ago
It is The Primordial Soup
Agent641@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I would like the primordial salad instead
AllOutOfBubbleGum@lemmy.world 2 years ago
A hotdog is a taco.
nobleshift@lemmy.world 2 years ago
[deleted]badcommandorfilename@lemmy.world 2 years ago
That’s how you can tell if you’re accelerating
socsa@piefed.social 2 years ago
For a small moment in time my dick and my brain will have separable frames of reference
Hikermick@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Going down?
just_an_average_joe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
Realistically nothing. You gain very little by saying something then you lose not saying anything. The only time people somewhat appreciate being talked to is when they already recognise you a little…
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 2 years ago
What floor?
GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
“Nice uhh, b-leather we’re having, uh.”
cry, drop my spaghetti and run out
A7thStone@lemmy.world 2 years ago
You don’t have the proper PPE for the radiologically controlled area.
TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 2 years ago
The modern mind is in complete disarray. Knowledge has stretched itself to the point where neither the world nor our intelligence can find any foot-hold. It is a fact that we are suffering from nihilism.
samus12345@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Nothing, I don’t like small talk with strangers.
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 2 years ago
Tip my fedora and say M’Lady
Hestia@hexbear.net 2 years ago
sorry, i have a girlfriend already.
iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Absolutely nothing, because I wouldn’t want a stranger to talk to me in an elevator and I was raised to do unto others.
theneverfox@pawb.social 2 years ago
I feel awkward being in public without interaction. It’s like my brain goes into overdrive, trying to predict a sudden interaction incoming like a quick time event
I’d comment on something slightly more relevant than the weather, because the conversation can then fade to comfortable silence (for me at least) knowing no more conversation is likely, or I’d do what I always do when someone engages - everyone has something interesting about them, I’ll throw the conversation in random directions until I find a topic worth speaking about