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Anon plays a guessing game

⁨770⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨greentext@sh.itjust.works⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/e98704e8-ad0d-4559-a831-42bf4508733d.png

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Comments

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  • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Tell her that her nose looks too perfect, problem solved

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    • Goldmage263@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Exactly. They fumbled hard. It has to be your ____, there’s no way it turned out that good naturally.

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  • Thcdenton@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    My autistic ass would be like “Nope no clue sorry, whatever it was, they a good surgeon 👍”

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    • ahornsirup@feddit.org ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Neurotypical here - that’s the correct response.

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      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        ADHD here, it’s one of two. The other is to guess bottom surgery/sex reassignment to teach her what sort of prizes she can expect from playing stupid games. Yeah you’re burning that bridge, but that’s a bridge worth burning

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      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Unsure of neuro-typicalness, but I’d go with this one as well.

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    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      ADHD here, after years of studying behavior from normies in order to emulate/mask, this is easily one of the best answers here.

      Sometimes brutal honesty is the answer.

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  • _lilith@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Your nose is your cutest feature, that’s why I chose it” is the correct response

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    • Klear@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      “Not like those ugly-ass ears. They really screwed those up, huh?”

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      • normanwall@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
        [deleted]
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  • bamfic@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Labia reduction

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    • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      “You seemed like a person who would have a wizard’s sleeve situation down there.”

      “Wtf it was my ears”

      “So is the situation down there not fixed or what do you mean?”

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      • bamfic@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Crying laughing from wizard sleeve situation. Made my night, thanks

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    • balderdash9@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      leanbeefpatty

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      • Senseless@feddit.org ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Context?

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    • M137@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      “How do you know what my labia looks like…?”

      Then get called a creep and shouted at.

      I’m just saying that you’d deserve if that was your answer.

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      • 5in1k@lemm.ee ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Nah, it’s a perfectly fine snappy response to a loaded question.

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  • No_Money_Just_Change@feddit.org ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Do the following:
    First say something along the lines of: “that is very difficult, one the one hand you are so astonishingly beautiful that all features of you could be made by a master craftsmanship, on the other hand, as I am a person of faith, you could also be just God’s most perfect creation.
    Either way, would you excuse me a second while I go to refresh in the bathroom?”

    Then you sneak out of the bathroom window because by the glorious lord Satan himself, you do not want to be in a relationship with someone who insists you do something after you refuse

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    • isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      “that is very difficult, one the one hand you are so astonishingly beautiful that all features of you could be made by a master craftsmanship, on the other hand, as I am a person of faith, you could also be just God’s most perfect creation.
      Either way, would you excuse me a second while I go to refresh in the bathroom?”

      Image

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    • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Better answer: Don’t put up with toxic games

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      • mycodesucks@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Exactly. Nothing wrong with an “Nuh uh. I’m not falling for this. You can tell me if you want me to know.”

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  • borf@lemmynsfw.com ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    smh could have guessed she was born with a tail, missed opportunity

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    • RangerJosie@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      If I was born with a tail and found out my parents had it removed I’d be mad as hell.

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      • thawed_caveman@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Human tails are kind of a thing and doctors do remove them. But it’s not a glorious tiger tail or anything, it’s like a stub, it’s an outgrowth of the coccyx, which is literally a vestigial tail.

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    • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      She was born an otter and had a plastic surgery to look like a human.

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  • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “It looks perfect! That’s why I thought you had work done!”

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  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    she clearly wants you to compliment her natural features, play along citizen.

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    • Ziglin@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      How would anyone be supposed to know that?

      Also isn’t asking for compliments generally a bad thing?

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      • SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Which is why she isn’t directly asking for them.

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      • untorquer@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Ehh for some it’s natural to understand, for some it’s learned, for some it’s off the radar completely.

        Asking for compliments is fine but people are insecure so they do it indirectly.

        “How do you like this dress/these pants/this whatever” would be someone giving an opportunity to compliment them. But they would be uncomfortable with asking, “can you compliment this …”

        You’re right that it’s not <good> communication. It’s super taxing for me as i’m in the learned group edging on off the radar(i naturally interpret teasing as bullying). So i just try to compliment people regularly at least once every time i spend time with them to make up for it. More on dates and in relationships.

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    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I failed this test. It feels like a mind game and i don’t play them.

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  • Rolando@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “They must have clipped off your wings, because you look like an angel.”

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    • JargonWagon@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      vomits

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    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      “Or like some sort of succubus devil thing, I dunno.”

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      • No1@aussie.zone ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Horn removal and chopped off a spiky tail lol

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      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Hey, I’ll take any action I can get.

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      • Rolando@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I was gonna finish with “…an ANGEL OF DEATH!!!” and start to air guitar. If she does the intro scream, she’s a keeper.

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    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Did it hurt, when they clipped your wings and you took 1000d6 falling damage, m’lady?

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    • B312@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Since when was Anakin Skywalker on lemmy?

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  • RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Insist, not to pick something then. You can easily explain that it’s a lose-lose: either something is wrong with a natural body part or they didn’t make a good job. And both of you feel bad afterwards.

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  • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Your boobs”
    “My books?!”
    “Yeah, they look great”

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    • Kongpiler@lemm.ee ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      That has to be what she was fishing for.

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  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Honestly? You look so naturally beautiful I couldn’t begin to guess. But if I had to, I’d say your most captivating thing about you is your eyes. Are they the real deal or someone fashion them from starlight?”

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    • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You should write for Hallmark movies.

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    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      idk i’m just going to pull the “dont know don’t care, card.” lol

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  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Oooh, I don’t know. Maaaaybeee your lips, because I can’t stop looking at them. But if you did, then your doctor is really good.”

    Deliver it light and kind of flirty and she’s not thinking about whatever trap that question is, she’s thinking about how you just told her you want to kiss her.

    If it’s for any other reason - making sure an insecurity is unknown, wanting to springboard into a conversation, wanting to see how you react if she baits you into saying something dumb, or even having her own flirty line to deliver about it - she’ll probably get to it. Assuming you haven’t wooed her into a voracious make out session.

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  • Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Did they do work on your face to make you less cute? Because I think they botched it.”

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  • Bobmighty@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    " Well, I know it isnt all that stuff that clearly needs work"

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  • scutiger@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “The left one?”

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  • paddirn@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’d say something dumb like, “Why would you only have work done on one breast, that’s weird.” Though I guess there’s situations with breast cancer and mastectomies and such, but plastic surgery on boobs would be my immediate first guess, not even considering what else might be done.

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  • PanArab@lemm.ee ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    The correct answer is: “I cant tell you are naturally beautiful”

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    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I’m pretty sure the correct answer is (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻)

      And storm off

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    • III@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      If they had work done, they might not be “naturally” beautiful. Probable better to just say “No, I don’t believe you. You don’t look like you had any work done.”

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    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      My SO doesn’t buy it, but I noticed when I stopped giving those kinds of compliments, they got really mad.

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  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    (I have another response.)
    Lean away, give her a long look, and gaze deep into her eyes. Tilt your head slightly to the side.

    “…. dad?”

    In the stunned silence, because she never expected you to be right, tell her that you never expected to see her again after she disappeared on her way to get cigarettes all those years ago.

    And then put your hand on her thigh and say “I’ve missed you daddy” with wide eyes.

    Gets ‘em every time.

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  • assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “You had a concerning mole removed from your thigh”

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  • brotundspiele@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I don’t care that you used to be a dude, but I must say, the surgeon did an amazing job.

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  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    For anyone scrolling far enough to read this, all of the correct answers for this, follow the same formula. Statement about how you cannot tell leading into a compliment about their looks.

    This can be reversed, complimenting they’re looks, and lead into that it is impossible to tell.

    Unless she looks like the wicked witch of the west, like one girl I knew. She had surgery at some point, and I only knew her after that happened. I am not exaggerating with that reference.

    Bluntly, I couldn’t have cared less. Things didn’t work out for completely unrelated reasons.

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    • Zozano@lemy.lol ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      *their

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      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Auto carrot strikes again

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  • Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Laura Loomer: Can you guess?

    Image

    Jk all of them.

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  • pinkystew@reddthat.com ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I wasn’t going to say anything. but you asked. yeah Jessica. it looks like you got dragged behind a 4 wheeler for a mile and the EMT’s shoved a fucking saddle horn into your skull to stop the bleeding.

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  • nutsack@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I want to get whatever Jeff bezos had done so that my face looks like it’s going to explode when I talk

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  • Mammothmothman@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “You used to have a penis?”

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  • Quexotic@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “I thought you looked beautiful before, I think you look beautiful now, honestly I can’t tell”

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