Bobmighty
@Bobmighty@lemmy.world
- Comment on wrappers 5 weeks ago:
Amazing powers of camouflage and body manipulation are the consequences of sin? I best get sinning like a mother fucker then!
- Comment on Anon gets hit by a car 1 month ago:
Been a decade now.
I doubt I was always aware, but from my memory, I usually was. It was like being trapped in a puppet body, unable to change a single thing. I tried to wrest control over and over. I went crazy fighting to gain any manner of control. Eventually I just tried to get my heart to stop so I could die a true death and escape that way.
My assumption is that what I was feeling was surgeries as anesthesia started to wear off and before they could safely dose me down into dreamless black again. From my perspective, this meant shifting from one nightmare to the next. Sometimes I would get ripped apart over and over. Other times I would drown for hours or die of thirst and hunger on a loop.
I had a few pleasant dreams. The one I remember most was where I was lying on a slab and Robin Williams was singing songs from his movies to comfort me. I had this sense I was about to actually die, and by that time I was very comfortable with that. It was peaceful and I was ready. Turns out my body wasn’t. I got about as close to death as you can get without my heart stopping. Many of my organs shut down, but never my heart.
Lots of imagery from games and movies cobbled together to shape the horrors that assaulted me. The ape things that ripped me apart in some nightmares were more or less a combo between the grey apes from congo and goro from mortal combat with a shovel shaped head. Laughable sounding in the waking world. Terrifying beyond words when I knew what they could do to me.
The main epiphany I came away with is that true death is not as scary as you might think. Fates worse than death are a thing and I have a living will to prevent going through one ever again. My relationship with death is much more cordial these days. I do not rush to embrace it, but when my time comes, I will go at ease because I never forgot the peace I felt during the Robin Williams dream. At the very end, the only thing waiting is rest eternal.
- Comment on Anon gets hit by a car 1 month ago:
I was in an induced coma for a month after my accident. It was a horrific experience that traumatized me severely. Tons of nightmares I could feel. Constantly shifting from one to another without sense or reason. No consistency, no mercy, lucid but unable to make change. No escape. I feared I wasn’t actually in reality when I truly woke up at first. I kept fearing another shift. I died countless horrific deaths and lost my mind in there.
In researching coma dreams and nightmares in others, I see similar themes. Not always terrible, but always shifty ridiculous dream logic. The dreaming mind is not a realm of coherency telling a long story with a super clear thread. It is an ocean of ideas, fears, thoughts and needs that crash and clang together. In a single night you can have a fragment of a dream you remember that kinda sorta makes sense, but stuck in there for extended times? Chaos reigns.
- Comment on Anon plays a guessing game 1 month ago:
" Well, I know it isnt all that stuff that clearly needs work"
- Comment on Anon gives up dating apps 1 month ago:
With a reaction like that I would say yes, you need to pay some attention to yourself. By the way, a lot of that “cool stuff” is very ordinary shit like trivia night at a local sports bar.
- Comment on Anon gives up dating apps 1 month ago:
I’m part of a social activity meetup group that also does a bit of volunteer stuff for folks In need. I’m already with someone but I’ve watched people meet and pair off in that group several times. It happens.
If you smell shit everywhere you go, check your shoes.
- Comment on Eat lead 1 month ago:
Engagement bait.
- Comment on Fields of Mistria is one of the most impressive games I've ever played 2 months ago:
Farmville was a shitty knockoff of harvest moon.
- Comment on Anon is straight 2 months ago:
Lots of fake shit all over Lemmy lately. Clogged with bot gen crap and memes.
- Comment on Anon watches an old concert video 2 months ago:
Do you need me to be ? I’m not. I just didn’t like seeing a bully try to justify bullying as a good thing, so I told my story.
If you want to know the real truth of how I feel, it nothing. I once felt pride when it was fresh. It felt like beating a monster. Then I felt growing fear and shame when the full scope of what I had done became apparent. I spent a good chunk of time feeling regret. After a while, life moved on and I stopped feeling anything about it aside from shadows of emotion when I think about it.
Why? This happened almost 30 years ago.
- Comment on Anon watches an old concert video 2 months ago:
No shit.
- Comment on Anon watches an old concert video 2 months ago:
Nothing fairy tail about it. I had a record and was on years of probation because I did a lot more damage than I thought I did. It was actually a very painful part of my life that had nothing to do with my weight and everything to do with an abusive family on top of dealing with bullies. People who fat shame would find something else to shame people for if no one was overweight. They’re just little bullies who want to justify being shitty people. I took one out, but nearly became one in return.
- Comment on Anon watches an old concert video 2 months ago:
How pathetically attached to fat shaming to make that connection? Grow the fuck up.
- Comment on Anon watches an old concert video 2 months ago:
I beat my primary fat shamer so badly I caused a TBI. Spent a week in jail and some time out of school. Upon my return, no one had a negative thing to say about me, let alone my weight. Since I was no longer stressed worrying about bullies, I started doing more activities, making friends, etc. lost a bunch of weight. No diet change.
Beat the fuck out of bullies.
- Comment on UFO 50 - Launch Trailer 2 months ago:
The insane experiment paid off! This game of games is a pure expression for the joy of gaming. I’ve put some hours in just poking around, and find myself consistently pleased at everything I play. Not everything is my type of game, but they still stand out as well made and even drew me in a couple times. Warp tank was the first to really grab hold of me and I want to beat it first.
People keep saying it’s like alternate reality Nintendo, and it’s clear why just by looking at it. I think it’s more the crystallized memory of how those days felt as a gamer. The magic of sitting in front of an old zenith on a rainy day and playing that weird rental you found. UFO 50 is like the smell that triggers a powerful memory you haven’t had in decades. I can’t wait to jump back in.
- Comment on Seriously, what the f*** is keeping Donald Trump in this presidential race? 3 months ago:
That was from before we knew better. We’ve seen since then that it is indeed racism and hatred that powers the Republican base. That’s why the GOP doesn’t need to have any real policy laid out anymore. They just have to promise to hurt the “right” people this time around. Any sane Republicans that existed then are voting Democrat now.
- Comment on Anon defends Michael Jackson 3 months ago:
Are people still into arguing about what this dead 80s superstar did? I don’t know. I think it’s kinda baity.
- Comment on What are some game series you would like to see revived? And if possible, which entry should the new game follow from? 3 months ago:
That’s why I mentioned insomniac, or another dev of that caliber. It’s a pipe dream, but it’s fun to think about. Doesn’t even have to be Bubsy. Imagine rockstar taking a crack at Glover. What’s your dream team of failed mascot and proven dev?
- Comment on What are some game series you would like to see revived? And if possible, which entry should the new game follow from? 3 months ago:
You know what, fucking Bubsy. Let’s see another one of those fuckers. Let’s give it to a dev like insomniac though. That’s what I want to see. Let’s take something that never quite pulled it together and make that shit shine! Give Bubsy his chance in the sun.
There’s a fair amount of failed mascots that had small followings or good ideas badly executed. Instead of rehashing the already beloved, let’s see some genuine attempts to redeem some of the benchwarmers.
- Comment on What is the safest way for a partially disabled person in the USA to use prison for food and shelter as an alternative to dying homeless in a gutter on a cold rainy night? 4 months ago:
The real answer that anyone can realistically give you is to fight for your life and dont give in to despair. You can have your time to despair of course, but dont let it swallow you. Thats pretty general and beyond that, it’ll be advice to seek out programs that help which is also general and not always helpful.
Your life is your own and flavored with so many variables that internet people can only help so much. I won’t give you advice, but I will tell you who I am and maybe that will help in some small way.
I am a double leg amputee. A hip disarticulation on the left (no leg at all) and an above knee amputation on the right. I was a 35 year old professional driver with a six month old daughter when the accident that took my legs happened to me. I had no fault in it and had no way of seeing it coming. It was something I was forced to deal with. I was in a coma for a month.
I woke up to endless pain, an ended relationship that was rocky anyway and a body so weak I had to start from scratch on even basic things like opening a can of soda. I was told I would have to use a power chair because of how damaged I was. I worked to be stronger than that and I succeeded, despite my endless phantom limb pain sometimes driving me insane. I use a manual chair by choice and I can do many other things I was told I wouldn’t be able to do again. Being legless and poor didn’t even stop me from meeting my wife, who is doing crafts with my daughter next to me.
It’s been a decade since the accident and my life is more solidly grounded now then it ever was when I was able bodied. I faced enormous pain and physical challenges and still do, but I’m glad of it. It was the forging fire that revealed who I am now.
There is a you that is looking back from a decade in the future. Who do they see in you now? The beginning of some maudlin end without even a fight, or the spark that eventually became your fire? If I can get through the shit, so can you.
- Comment on What is the safest way for a partially disabled person in the USA to use prison for food and shelter as an alternative to dying homeless in a gutter on a cold rainy night? 4 months ago:
Sounds like all jails barring a shitty yard to walk in for a bit each day. The food is also often spoiled or otherwise fucked up somehow.
- Comment on I will not be taking questions. 5 months ago:
Nah. I’ll be as cringe as I please. Don’t need your permission.
- Comment on I will not be taking questions. 5 months ago:
Nothing about being an edgelord or cool. Its just not a thing that’s ever been an issue in any relationship, even ones I fucked up. It’s not even a thing I ever once heard talked about anywhere aside from the internet. It’s just a shit post argument that doesn’t matter, regardless of how you do it. Just an empty little thing people like fighting about online for whatever reason. That’s what I spit into the face of.
- Comment on I will not be taking questions. 5 months ago:
I’m happily married. Has never once been an issue.
- Comment on I will not be taking questions. 5 months ago:
I’ve never paid a single bit of attention to which way it goes on. I spit into the face of this entire debate and it’s never done me any harm to do so. I’m a cat owner too. The roll goes on either way, it’s fine, and I’ll never change my mind.
- Comment on Prognosis: back pain and general grouchiness 6 months ago:
I saw Aliens in the theater with my dad when I was 7. I suppose I’m basically a mummy now going by this Dr lol.
- Comment on Big Science 6 months ago:
Companies**. Also, the word they’re looking for is hypothesis, not theory.
- Comment on How would you decorate this room? 7 months ago:
That’s a storage closet, very obviously so. That type of fan being located at that spot makes me also feel like this is a joke.
- Comment on Funny, those guys don't usually agree on that much 7 months ago:
That’s why the bots use templates like that.
- Comment on Last Epoch Official Teaser Trailer | Harbingers of Ruin 7 months ago:
I’m looking forward to what they do with this little gem. I bought it knowing I would at least get a run through the story, but it ended up being my favorite arpg in a while.