Damn it’s sad that this post even exists. I hope things get better for you chief.
What is the safest way for a partially disabled person in the USA to use prison for food and shelter as an alternative to dying homeless in a gutter on a cold rainy night?
Submitted 9 months ago by j4k3@lemmy.world to [deleted]
Comments
Hyrulian@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Trollivier@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
This is the most dystopian thing I’ve read in years.
L0rdMathias@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Low effort high sentence crime like credit card or check fraud. Represent yourself in court and be a complete ass to maximize the jury’s dislike of you, no sob stories reveal zero empathy for what you did. Try to find that sweet spot between minimum security prison, but long sentencing. Make a friend in jail and start a “fight” with them the day before your probation hearing or something to extend the behavior without angering the guards/warden too much?
It’s a pretty high risk low reward strategy, but the risk is mostly because it’s hard to get into a “good prison”. Also make sure you do it in a state with free prison, some states are pay-to-stay prison, though I guess that could open the opportunity for loan fraud and another sentence if you do get out?
Deestan@lemmy.world 9 months ago
pay-to-stay prison
That sounds utterly evil
sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz 9 months ago
npr.org/…/the-vast-majority-of-states-allow-peopl…
I just learned this the other month. It is so fucked up.
avattar@lemmy.sdf.org 9 months ago
I like your idea. Some kind of non-violent high reward fraud. If you don’t get caught, it’s free money. If you do, it’s all part of your plan.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Shoplift food until you get caught and go to jail.
If you get caught without going to jail just keep shoplifting, at least you’ll always have food.
Chip_Rat@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Just make sure to do it from Walmart or Lowblaw or some other government teet sucking price gouging corporation.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Go to Walmart. Eat whatever you want. Sleep there
If they call the cops on you because of theft or trespassing, there ya go.
Bonus points if you find a way to do this without getting caught and live there a while.
Or start a Tiktok account and a go fund me, and tell your story on TT. Sometimes you can reach the right person near you to do something
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 9 months ago
If I had the money, I’d pay to watch this. I watch Extra Cheesy Broccoli on YouTube a bit; Steve Wallis isn’t homeless, but does a lot of stealth camping in unusual places.
Silentiea@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 months ago
If I had the money, I’d pay to watch this.
Okay, never mind. THAT’S the most dystopian thing I’ve read all day.
mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
The myth that you can go to jail and it’s free board and food is exactly that, a myth.
You’ll pay for it one way or another.
It’s peddled by conservatives who think that jail is some kind of walk in the park. Sure there are nicer prisons but it’s still prison. No one really prefers it to being out on the street.
j4k3@lemmy.world 9 months ago
The alternative is worse for me. I can not survive on my own. Debt is irrelevant in death as an alternative.
WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
I’m a little confused. It sounds like your pain and disability issues would be exponentially worse in a prison environment. What little relief you get now would be gone. What little activity you are capable of now would be gone. You would be a vulnerable person locked up with loads of people who are experts at exploiting vulnerability. You aren’t even guaranteed that the elements won’t kill you in there—there are recent cases of prisoners dying from summer heat indoors due to no A/C.
Given your options, I would seriously consider a city that tolerates homelessness over intentionally choosing prison. It will be a hell of a lot easier to dig yourself out of homelessness, if you ever do, than it will be to outrun the reputation that comes from a major conviction.
I think you need to be way more realistic about what your options actually are.
Varyk@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
for less drama, you could “steal” property from someone you know and they could helpfully press charges so you can get arrested.
just a heads up, most prisons in the US are pay to stay, so you’ll accrue debt while inside, and depending on what state you’re in you might have to put up a copay for your medical care.
I’d advise doing a little research and committing your inoffensive bank robbery or the like in the right area.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I saw a video where a guy “robbed” a bank of $1, with a “gun” that was actually a snickers bar. Then sat in the lobby and waited for the cops.
That seems like a good way to rob a bank, which is a federal crime, while not hurting anyone. And the tellers would even be able to figure out whats going on.
xmunk@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
There is no safe way to do this - you should find a shelter - even if it’s shitty and religious.
Anticorp@lemmy.world 9 months ago
There was an old guy a couple decades ago that walked into a bank and handed the teller a note that said “This is a robbery. Give me one dollar!”. Then he went and sat down and waited for the cops. If memory serves, he did it because he needed some dental work and couldn’t afford it.
CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I feel icky responding to this because it highlights how shitty society is at taking care of our less fortunate, but if I was inclined to get myself into jail I would probably start with shoplifting the things I need to survive like food, camping supplies, etc. Very low risk of violence and if I don’t get caught, hey I’m better off.
Eventually I’d get caught. Then I can just keep not showing up for court and shoplifting food. Eventually I’ll get thrown in jail and when released I start all over. After enough times I’d graduate from county jail to prison.
I’m not recommending this course of action, but it’s probably what I’d do if that was my goal. Nobody gets hurt.
Today@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Jail can be incredibly expensive!
harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
Exactly! Make sure it’s a felony otherwise you might be billed for every day you’re in jail. Plus, a good enough felony will get you to prison for a good long time. Basically, anything with “grand” in the front of it.
Today@lemmy.world 9 months ago
You can end up paying room and board, mandatory counseling, classes, drug tests, etc. Plus phone calls are outrageously expensive. It’s a total racket.
bamfic@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Some joker robbed a US post office in my town a year or so ago. Federal felony.
badbytes@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Commit a white collar federal crime. Cushy prison conditions.
UrPartnerInCrime@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Head a story of this one dude who as soon as he got out of jail he would go sit in the middle of the road until he got arrested again.
ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
Carry out targeted attacks on the people and institutions that create the situation that you’re in. If people affected by this banded together, the problem would cease to exist.
Moah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 months ago
I’m not sure prison is ever safe, but I’m sorry you’re at this point in your life. I hope things get better soon
Grimy@lemmy.world 9 months ago
As a form of protest, you could try to trespass into the white house in an obvious way. That would definitely get you jail time and maybe a GoFundMe. I figure if you have a sign, they won’t shoot you.
BobGnarley@lemm.ee 9 months ago
Anything drug related.
If you grow a few mushrooms they can charge you with manufacture and give you like 10 to 20 years.
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 9 months ago
[deleted]bjornsno@lemm.ee 9 months ago
Help I’m destitute, what should I do? Step one: buy Bitcoin.
AnarchoNoAdjective@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
Would it be possible to volunteer some time to an organization like food not bombs I heard they were getting fines and arrested for distributing food. You could possibly secure some food, help the community and still potentially go to prison for not paying the bogus fine.
ThePantser@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Walk into a police station and state you just killed someone. They will lock you up, just be coy about who and where the body is and they will keep you locked up, maybe. If you want out just recant and say you just wanted some shelter. Without a body or a crime scene you will be free to go. IANAL or a cop so I could be 100% wrong in my scheme.
Mango@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Don’t be in New York.
MNByChoice@midwest.social 9 months ago
If you are set on this, then do crimes that, if successful, would improve your life.
Steal billions of dollars from bad corporations. Steal food to live, trespass to be in shelter.
Personally, I would try to go to the cheapest town and get on benefits. Each state has a really cheap place to exist. There are usually no jobs, but often friendly people.
11111one11111@lemmy.world 9 months ago
[deleted]Fleur__@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Remember lads if you see a sketch username saying inflammatory stuff, it’s bait.
sartalon@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Let us know which town. Sounds like it’s already full of trash.
MetaCubed@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Do you mind answering why you feel this way about homeless people? You or I could be among them tomorrow for all we know, I would hope that someone wouldn’t feel that animosity towards me.
tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Oh boo hoo someone fell in the no-empathy soup as a toddler
bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 9 months ago
“Except if it’s me or my family.”
Delphia@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Yeah, rob a bank. If you get away with it, great. If you dont 5 years room and board.
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 9 months ago
I’ve heard of some people robbing a bank. The banks will generally give you the money if you threaten them and the camera will usually make it easy to identity you as a robber. You don’t even need a gun, you just have to threaten people.
j4k3@lemmy.world 9 months ago
There was someone years ago that used a bank/prison to get their cancer treated. I was thinking along these lines. Wear clothing that can not conceal anything, pass the teller a note, place a squirt gun on the counter, pass it to them, and then lie on the ground until police arrive.
Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 months ago
Former bank employee here. You don’t need a squirt gun. Theoretically you can walk into a bank, tell the teller you’re robbing them and demand $1, then sit patiently on a bench and await police. The problem is that the judge at your sentencing will see that you are not truly a danger and give you probation. You will also have to pay fines.
Bear in mind that prison is not free. You are charged every day you are there, and will receive the minimum care to keep you alive.
The best option is to get a bus ticket to a part of the US with fewer homeless folks and good safety nets, then get a social worker. They will require that you don’t have any living family who can help, so bear that in mind.
logicbomb@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I generally disagree with the entire plan, but if you’re going to do anything like this, there is a large difference between getting caught with a weapon and not. Maybe even a squirt gun. You do not need to have a weapon to get convicted of robbing a bank.
bender223@lemmy.today 9 months ago
Sorry about your situation. You bring up a good point. Our economy and gov is so shit about housing, that it actually does make sense to commit a crime to have a place to stay. I’m guessing, it would better to commit some kind of non-violent white collar crime? I don’t know. I’m not a lawyer. This just sucks. Sorry. 😔
RattlerSix@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I think you’d definitely want a federal minimum security camp. Think more along the lines of mail fraud or some other white collar crime.
Valmond@lemmy.world 9 months ago
If you went to sweden and made some enough bad crime, you’d get ss and food and shelter til they figure out how to ship you back.
Ot find a european soulmate to marry!
Anticorp@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Something tells me that someone this desperate doesn’t have money for a passport and a plane ticket.
Valmond@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Take a survival loan, use a credit card, if it’s that urgent.
SonicDeathTaco@lemm.ee 9 months ago
Be white.
Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 months ago
Ideally you want to go to a shelter first, because if a shelter is dangerous or unclean you can just leave (unlike jail). If you can’t find a shelter that has space for you, the next best thing is to sleep somewhere visible but somewhat sheltered and out of the way. Church doorways are ideal since if they find you they will usually offer you help rather than call the cops on you.
If none of those avenues are available to you, hit up your local library. If they don’t outright have a social worker on staff they’ll know how to put you in contact with one and help you with applying for benefits that can at least keep you fed, and will hopefully know how to most effectively get you in line for housing.
j4k3@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’m too physically limited for range of mobility like this. I can’t seem to find anyone that can diagnose what is actually wrong with my spine. It is in a rare region and complex. Nothing major comes up in a radiologist’s MRI report, and neurosurgeons all come with a severe legislatively induced allergy to anything complicated to diagnose or work on. Of 13, only one spent the time to get into the weeds and it was only to make up a legally plausible narrative reason to claim I needed several fusions. They only took the time because they were about to lose their license for malpractice (something I had no clue about at the time). There is no such thing as a House like spinal doctor that will observationally diagnose a person regardless of their ability to treat or the risk involved. If they diagnose the issue they will face subpoenas and lots of time wasted to bureaucratic nonsense. The only options appear to be paying several thousand dollars for a shady lawyer that can bribe their way through the hoops of capitalist privateers or homelessness/suicide. This is Los Angeles where there are 100k homeless within 100 miles of where I lay. There are no available social workers, and every shelter is beyond full. Even the homeless that try to group to help each other are attacked like rabid feral animals by orders of the criminal Newsom. I need a more effective plan.
Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 months ago
I’m sorry you’re going through all that, I’m living in LA and also disabled from spinal issues so I’ve experienced a lot of what you’re talking about as well. I’ve basically resigned myself to ‘smoke weed all the time’ being the extent of medical management of my pain, because doctors can’t/won’t do anything else for me without potentially making other problems worse. Back problems are awful and not having any concrete answers is just about as bad.
What part of LA are you in, roughly, if you’re OK sharing? If you’re able to ride public transit I’d be happy to search around to try to find more resources near you.
In addition to getting arrested being dangerous, sleeping on a jail cot is probably going to be absolutely godawful for your back, at least as bad as sleeping in a doorway. If you’re sleeping on the ground outside you at least have some control over your environment, compared to jail.
michaelmrose@lemmy.world 9 months ago
A shelter is normally dorm style sleeping arrangements with lunatics and meth heads sans food or anywhere to be during the day. Not all places will even offer food or medical even
Bobmighty@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Sounds like all jails barring a shitty yard to walk in for a bit each day. The food is also often spoiled or otherwise fucked up somehow.