Antarctica is generally colder than the Arctic. They would almost certainly be stuck along the coastlines of Antarctica like the penguins are, since the interior averages temperatures that rival the coldest ones ever recorded in the Arctic. They should be fine there, but then that means they have a very limited distribution and that penguins and seals consequently are always forced to share an environment with the polar bears. Because they’re not used to the polar bears, their populations would likely be destroyed, leaving the polar bears to starve. Unlike in the Arctic, too, they would have nowhere to retreat if their food supply ran out. Outward is hundreds of kilometers of ocean, and inward is hundreds of kilometers of unsurvivable desert.
Anon has a plan
Submitted 7 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/aef0a2a3-f7f7-41d6-a4b7-d67582c5a86f.jpeg
Comments
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 7 months ago
they would have nowhere to retreat if their food supply ran out.
Um. Hello? There are scientists there.
Which means scientific papers, then tourists, then garbage and a symbiotic relationship, then the eventual domestication of polar bears.
Not, you know, the international scientific community treating scientists like cats.Warl0k3@lemmy.world 7 months ago
“Return Eenie or we feed another physicist to the bears. We know you fuckers took him.”
SGforce@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
Always wondered what it would have been like had we domesticated these things
These limbs were adapted for efficient long-distance pacing, rather than the explosive acceleration and high speed pursuits
Terrifying
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Idk, I think polar bears would domesticate the scientists before scientists domesticated the polar bears.
Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Etymologists crying and shaking right now at the thought of Antarctica (meaning: without bears) gaining the one animal it’s not supposed to have
SirSamuel@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I read that as entomologist for a second and was really confused
Figured it had something to do with fleas
John_CalebBradberton@lemmy.world 7 months ago
This comment sent me down a rabbit hole. I had no idea the arctic is called that because it was the Greek for ‘of the bear’ because they used Ursa Major to guide them north. And the the arctic is the most northerly point.
Fucking wild. Mind blown.
cevn@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Wdf how are we just learning this?! Can’t they teach it with the continent names??
Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
And it’s a hilarious coincidence that it resulted in the southern most point being Antarctica, as it just happens to be the only continent without bears.
Dragonstaff@leminal.space 7 months ago
I’m not saying this will definitely reverse the Earth’s polarity and doom all life on earth, but do we really want to take that chance?!
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Looks at earth
Well, it probably won’t get much worse, and if it does it’ll at least be interesting to see.
RegalPotoo@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I’d say that if all you want to do is scare the shit out of some scientists in Antarctica you probably only need 1 polar bear
hypnicjerk@lemmy.world 7 months ago
or a dog
echodot@feddit.uk 7 months ago
Nah let’s really confuse them. A lion.
HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 7 months ago
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Yup, and there’s a lot less risk of complete disruption to the normal food chain. One polar bear will eventually die, a dozen will probably take over.
celsiustimeline@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
It would work until the polar bear population collapses in a couple generations due to inbreeding.
fuckingkangaroos@lemm.ee 7 months ago
And once they eat all the penguins and starve
MirthfulAlembic@lemmy.world 7 months ago
St. Matthew Island with polar bears instead of reindeer.
funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
4 million buy a freight boat
I work in supply chain but not a complete expert but the smallest cheapest ship I can find for sale is this one for $6MM, doesn’t include licensing, crew, insurance and the dreyage/accessorial on live polar bears is gonna cost you big
petersr@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Does it really need to be a big container ship?
Didn’t people transport stuff in smaller boats back in the day?
(You still make a valid point though)
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Idk, polar bears are really heavy, and it takes a long time to get from one end of the planet to the other, so you want something secure to store the bears in. That means a bigger ship that can handle angry bears hurling themselves at the walls of their cage, because they will wake up during the journey, and they won’t be happy.
funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
they did specify freight! although getting The Cutty Sark back in working order is probably even more costly.
TotalFat@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I’ve recently learned that bears absolutely love cocaine. I’m sure that’s relevant here somehow.
Wooki@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Thats why polar bears have white coats
felbane@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I thought they had white coats because they take their methamphetamine production lab very seriously.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
They’re actually clear coats with hollow fur, which means they always have a way to consume said cocaine. They’ve basically evolved to be addicts.
Crashumbc@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I saw that documentary! That is boundary pushing science
Ibaudia@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I think the penguins would learn to just swim away, and the bears would starve since they would need to expend a lot of effort for a small bird versus the calorie-dense seals they’re used to.
Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world 7 months ago
blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
That is a king penguin, not even the tallest subspecies (emperors are taller), but what you’re looking at is an optical illusion because the penguin is much closer to the camera than the humans.
TunaCowboy@lemmy.world 7 months ago
desktop_user@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 months ago
plenty of polar bears eat salmon
No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Polar or grizzly bears… not sure salmon roams the north regions without rivers.
figjam@midwest.social 7 months ago
So I’m hearing that we move some seals first…
GBU_28@lemm.ee 7 months ago
They’d need to ambush the flock when they were on land, ensuring they could corner several before the penguins make it to water
WaterSword@discuss.tchncs.de 7 months ago
Would work until the penguin pop. is too small and then they start dying out again
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 7 months ago
So then part of the program needs to be penguin Viagra to keep the numbers up
Plastic_Ramses@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Crude dark matter should do the job.
Penguin spanish fly.
KazuchijouNo@lemy.lol 7 months ago
Listen to this. How about we get a big boat, put the surviving penguins inside and ship them to the Artic!
WaterSword@discuss.tchncs.de 7 months ago
Ahh the good old switcheroo
SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
This reminds me of a friend that once proposed that if we really wanted to mess with Europe we could release a few packs of coyotes
therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
Then you have a penguin population crisis
blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Tbf we already have that due to glacier melt
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Don’t penguins already have to survive orcas?
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Yeah, in the water. Giving them another apex predator on land won’t make them happy, I’m sure.
FiskFisk33@startrek.website 7 months ago
would have to be quite a few bears to avoid heavy inbreeding
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 7 months ago
No, you must keep the bloodline pure.
scutiger@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Okay, McPoyle.
Honytawk@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
Apparently it is 12 creatures, 6 male and 6 female, that is needed for a genetically diverse enough group to repopulate.
superkret@feddit.org 7 months ago
That depends entirely on what creature you’re talking about.
Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
A couple of birth defects wouldn’t matter much if you’re walking around a penguin buffet. They’d be fine.
fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
I was really hoping OP wanted to drop the polar bears on a tropical island. For science.
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 7 months ago
only if you can find some weird magnetic anomaly and plane crash survivors
Dragonstaff@leminal.space 7 months ago
They’d probably just turn back into grizzlies eventually.
Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
It depends on the goal. For example it work if you want to render every penguin species endangered or worse.
feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Neal Stephenson book.
Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 7 months ago
Sounds reasonable.
pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 months ago
people who wanted penguin in Minecraft after not voting in the mob vote:
mcqtom@lemmy.world 7 months ago
You may find you struggle with step 1.
echodot@feddit.uk 7 months ago
I’ve been trying to do step one for years. But my bastard relatives refuse to die, and also refuse to be rich. Selfish I call it.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
And then my siblings also think they’re entitled to some of the non-existent inheritance. So many selfish people in my family…
Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 7 months ago
Zoos tend to struggle with Step 7 and they have far better conditions than a beat up converted freighter
Lev_Astov@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Also step 2. $4MM is not enough to run the kind of vessel needed to go to the poles.