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Anon is out of ideas

⁨579⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨greentext@sh.itjust.works⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/536912f5-4afd-4ba3-b32a-0d1043d1f34a.jpeg

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Comments

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  • wellee@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You could move out of your mother’s basement

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    • THE_ANON@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      He said rich not billionaire rich

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    • steal_your_face@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Wait you can?

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      • metaStatic@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        not in this economy

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    • Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That’s crazy talk!

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  • Zagorath@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Save up, go on a nice holiday overseas.

    Save up, buy a house.

    Take up a new expensive hobby like cycling or photography.

    Donate to charity.

    Donate to worthy political causes.

    Get a dopamine hit from seeing number go up.

    So many options.

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    • Omgarm@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Fund a random Twitch streamer’s life while you stay at home doing nothing.

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    • turtlepower@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Donate to worthy political causes.

      Buy a politician and actually change shit.

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      • Kidplayer_666@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Buying a politician is expensive, here at Bribes.inc we’ve been trying to come up with a solution to achieve your goals for a lower price, and I’m proud to announce our new product, The Middle Ranking Bureaucrat. With it you’ll be able to perform all your goals at a fraction of a cost and a lot less risk. Want to evade taxes? Middle Ranking bureaucrat does that. Commit fraud and identity theft? We got you covered. Change how often a law is actually applied so you can advocate for its expansion or retraction? You bet. Call now 555-555-555 or come and talk to use at any of our agencies

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      • Zagorath@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        That’s a slightly more direct way of phrasing it, yes.

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      • muix@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        So You Want to Bribe a Politician

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    • blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Put money into retirement.

      On average people need over $1,000,000 in it to retire comfortably now.

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    • lurch@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
      [deleted]
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      • CustodialTeapot@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Are you okay?

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    • ed_cock@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Become a patron of the arts and help some students through university.

      Work less.

      Withdraw it in coins to throw at poor people.

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    • idunnololz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Yes. Buy lots and lots of options.

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  • rustyfish@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Start playing Magic. Your money will go POOF in no time.

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    • archon@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      See also: 40k minis, aka plastic crack.

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      • RobertOwnageJunior@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Alternatively DnD minis, they are mostly cheaper, so you can buy even more!

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      • skeeter_dave@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Homeboy needs to start collecting titans, they make the minis look cheap.

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    • IndiBrony@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Ah, a man of culture!

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    • ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Dunno I made 12k selling my cards back in 2019. Played back in the revised/ice age days

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      • beetus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        “time travel to 1994 and play mtg, save the cards for 25 years then sell!” Great advice for anon :)

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  • Neil@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’ve been in this situation.

    Get married to a single mom and you’ll be broke again in less than a year and in debt the next. That’s the quickest way to lose all of your money.

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    • ryathal@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Didn’t go the single mom route, but a wife and kids takes care of the free time and money problem.

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    • DoomBot5@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Single family cruise costs as much as everything OP purchased put together.

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    • arin@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Ugh plz don’t

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  • minibyte@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Max 401k, Roth IRA, and HSA contributions. Buy a fleshlight.

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    • grue@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      There are way too many comments in this thread for it to be okay that yours is the only one mentioning investing for retirement.

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      • Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Just goes to show you how few of your peers are actually saving for retirement

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      • slaacaa@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Right? I’m baffled I had to scroll down this far for a mention of investing, which was my immediate answer, after reading the greentext. And it’s absolutely the thing everybody should be doing with part of their money

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      • sir_pronoun@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I’m just thankful someone finally mentioned buying a fleshlight

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    • Drinvictus@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Don’t forget the kids’ 529

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      • Kimjongtooill@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I don’t think Anon will have to worry about that one…

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    • WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Also, if you are technically self-employed, 401k + self-employed IRA provides a lot of room for more tax benefits. If you manage to fill those, then you can always open a brokerage account to put additional savings.

      Broad market index funds are a popular choice.

      Eventually retire so you have time to play those video games and get sleep.

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  • Faceman2K23@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Could even pay for porn at that point, crazy!

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    • miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’m all for it.

      Support ethical porn sites that meet their actresses and actors with the respect they deserve.

      source
  • Kraivo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Depends on character traits of anon.

    Some invest/gamble

    Some hoard wealth

    Some uses it fight boredom like going to places, travelling, hobbies, etc.

    Some try sharing with others or straight up doing charities

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    • psivchaz@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      This list is missing hookers and cocaine.

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      • Kraivo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        It’s hobbies

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    • theangryseal@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      If all of my money had gone into a charity it would have been, “Junkies Helping Junkies Not Get Dope Sick No More”. :p

      Here at junkies, we split shots. We don’t get high. You found some dope on a gas station floor? Three people won’t get sick today. Or, Brenda will convince you that her tolerance is insane because of a recent stay at the hospital, she’ll get half and we’ll split half. She’ll nod out and she won’t be welcome at Junkies Helping Junkies Not Get Dope Sick No More no more.

      For real though, been sober for at least a decade at this point. It is crazy how much money people burn through with that little hobby. I don’t miss that life and I’m thankful to be away from it, so if I did accidentally become wealthy I’d give some back to the community that helped me get here. I’d drop by some local AA and NA groups and drop a pile of money under the 1s pretty often.

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      • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I’ve never tried it, but I love this comment.

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  • BudgieMania@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    If you are young and there's nothing you really want to do with a significant amount of money, your emergency savings are decently big, and you don't intend to make a significant purchase in the near to mid future, then you find yourself a tax-free retirement account, a world index fund and an S&P 500 index fund and distribute money across them with the priority being reaching whatever is the max in the first one

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  • vsh@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Gambling is a great wallet drainer 👍

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    • Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      But what if they win and just get more money?

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      • RealFknNito@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Keep gambling. The secret is that the house always wins it back eventually.

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    • danielbln@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Also, ladies of the night and nose clams.

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    • Pieresqi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Gacha games are better. At least you get something 👍👍

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      • intensely_human@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Got?

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  • fury@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Save an emergency fund of 6-12 months of expenses. You never know when the rug will get pulled out from under you. Pay off all debts. Save at least 15% of income into retirement accounts (not counting any matches). Give to charity or random internet persons. Buy a house. Pay it off. Max all retirement accounts, invest in some mutual funds, give more.

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    • spujb@lemmy.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      consider also investing in your community. find local organizations or mutual aid networks, help friends out and in general find ways to build other people up so that they can be there for you if you ever fall on hard times.

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  • shani66@ani.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Unironically anon has cracked the big secret of capitalism; the end goal doesn’t matter until someone is trying to steal it from you, and they will try because some people are sick in the head

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    • wrath_of_grunge@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      the big secret is that money is not the end goal. money is merely a tool to let you do other things you want to do. it's not an end, just a means.

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      • shani66@ani.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I was going to disagree based on culture, but my disagreement really just boils down to that being a way bigger secret. So i guess you right.

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    • WhiteHawk@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Not really, there’s plenty of things you can spend your money on if you have goals and hobbies.

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      • shani66@ani.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Anon already did that, good hobbies don’t necessitate a constant flow of cash

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  • RealFknNito@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Invest it until you can quit job. The old people call that retiring.

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    • DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Retiring isn’t real, it’s just an old legend…

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      • Reddfugee42@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Like single income families

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  • DoomBot5@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Vacations, where every trip costs like a mid range gaming pc.

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  • Etterra@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Give some of it to poor people. Being disabled in this country sucks.

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    • franklin@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Use the money to lobby politicans to pass social assistance for the disabled

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      • PunnyName@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Anna give some money to the disabled, since they need it faster than that.

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    • Hjalamanger@feddit.nu ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      What country? There are other countries than the US “the greatest country in the world”

      /s

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    • Rivalarrival@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Much easier to give it to some rich people. They’ve got money disposal services all over the place.

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  • starman2112@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Send me $400 to buy a telescope lmao

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  • jaybone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Buy some more avocado toast?

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  • Blackmist@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Buy a house and stop mooching off your parents?

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  • EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Be like me: so anxious at the prospect of running out of money you just never spend it.

    Need new clothes? Is that really a need?

    Want to try a hobby? If you don’t like it you’ll feel pretty silly having invested in it.

    But a gaming PC? The parts will be obsolete in a year anyways.

    Nice cookware? What’s wrong with ye older stuff, it still works just don’t use the bad side of the spatula or you’ll scratch the pan.

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  • Evotech@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Google house

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  • AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    People when yoh tell them about saving your money

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  • datelmd5sum@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    cocaine

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  • Rosco@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Travel around.

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  • unreasonabro@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Dildo collection

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  • Mongostein@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Well, life keeps kicking me in the balls and I currently need about $5000 to get back on track thanks.

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  • Hjalamanger@feddit.nu ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Donate to Lemmy :)

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  • DaDragon@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Enjoy the fact that there’s more and more money in your bank account? I personally find solace in that fact.

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  • AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Don’t let it sit in your bank account, you’re wasting its value. After you built up an emergency fund, invest the rest.

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  • kworpy@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Hop on Kickstarter, go to the D&T section and back the first thing you see, the greatest way to melt money.

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  • sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    House Car Vacations Retirement

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  • son_named_bort@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    EA has entered the chat.

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