son_named_bort

@son_named_bort@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨You could get anything you wanted and it was FREE⁩ ⁨⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  They even had “Don’t Worry, be Happy” by Bob Marley.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Oh no!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  They were too cheap for the good stuff.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What would this list look like for your generation?⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  What’s Ligma?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Jetpack⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Just as long as her farts stay farts.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Choose one⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I want to be your sledgehammer.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨He has risen⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Mr. Jesus is getting Lemon Pledge.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ok, thanks...⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Marge Simpson in shambles.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's a fun new game⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  0420 0069 1337 8008

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Do you really have to let everyone know⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Where do you even get these bumper stickers? Is there that much demand for them?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Cheers lads⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  No officer, the tree jumped in my way, I swear!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why is there steam coming out of the streets in New York⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Ah, so it was the streets of Utica.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why is there steam coming out of the streets in New York⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I thought that was from the streets of Albany?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨But that it just a theory⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Big if true

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Friendly reminder⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail hopefully my gravestone says something like rest in peace and not something vulgar.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The pilot episode of Futurama 'Space Pilot 3000' premiered 26 years ago today on March 28, 1999.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ll start my own pilot, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the blackjack. Ah, screw the whole thing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Child support⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  You laugh, but my son did something similar. He said “daddy I know you’re going through a hard time right now but I can help you carry your groceries” and I said “son, you’re 38 years old, why the hell haven’t you moved out yet?”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Disappointing coyote attack⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  He shouldn’t have gotten his dentures from Acme.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The consequences (of my actions) have been extreme⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I once had a group chat that got leaked. There’s a possibility that it may have involved some light treason.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Another treasure stolen from us⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The GameCube cases also came with a pizza roll holder but it was a little too small.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ever wonder how the term "pink slip" came about? This is how you were fired. A pink slip on your desk.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Sex: not getting any cause I was fired

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨fetching bleach after this one⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Why was I born with eyes?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨History is funny that way⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I learned about her from Double Dare.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Waking up an hour before you intend to⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  That happened to me this morning. Lousy bladder.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What exactly are they teaching in our schools?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Look, we all can’t get into Yal6, okay.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If everyone goes to baseball games by car and everyone gets wasted like Randy Marsh, how do people get home?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Baseball stadiums usually cut off alcohol sales after the 7th inning, which allows for fans to somewhat sober up before the end of the game.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They got everything covered⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Even Cousin Bob’s funeral?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Times are tough for everyone⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  A soup place I go to started to charge $3 for its once free bread. When I asked about it, they said “no soup for you!” and “come back one year!”. Then they took away my soup. At least I got my money back.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Classical Meme⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  As an American, I had to work out the Roman Numerals the only way I know how: using Super Bowls. So the 1st Super Bowl is Super Bowl I (Packers over Chiefs), the 2nd Super Bowl is Super Bowl II (Packers over Raiders), and the 50th Super Bowl is Super Bowl 50 (Broncos over Panthers). Putting this together I get:

  I II II 50

  I’m at a loss as to what it could mean.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I purposely make my voice mail message as long as the time limit allows to waste the time of people looking to waste my time. Hope they like listening to screamy music.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  But how else am I supposed to find out that my car warranty expired?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Emulating PS2 for my Steam Deck, would love any recommendations!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  The Simpsons Hit and Run is a solid GTA style game and is considered to be one of the best Simpsons games ever. The Simpsons Road Rage is a rip-off of Crazy Taxi but is still a solid game. The Simpsons Game is also a good game that kinda does it’s own thing. Don’t bother with the Simpsons Skateboarding, that one sucks.