son_named_bort

@son_named_bort@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The consequences (of my actions) have been extreme⁩ ⁨⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  I once had a group chat that got leaked. There’s a possibility that it may have involved some light treason.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Another treasure stolen from us⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  The GameCube cases also came with a pizza roll holder but it was a little too small.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ever wonder how the term "pink slip" came about? This is how you were fired. A pink slip on your desk.⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Sex: not getting any cause I was fired

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨fetching bleach after this one⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Why was I born with eyes?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨History is funny that way⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I learned about her from Double Dare.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Waking up an hour before you intend to⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  That happened to me this morning. Lousy bladder.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What exactly are they teaching in our schools?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Look, we all can’t get into Yal6, okay.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If everyone goes to baseball games by car and everyone gets wasted like Randy Marsh, how do people get home?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Baseball stadiums usually cut off alcohol sales after the 7th inning, which allows for fans to somewhat sober up before the end of the game.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They got everything covered⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Even Cousin Bob’s funeral?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Times are tough for everyone⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  A soup place I go to started to charge $3 for its once free bread. When I asked about it, they said “no soup for you!” and “come back one year!”. Then they took away my soup. At least I got my money back.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Classical Meme⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  As an American, I had to work out the Roman Numerals the only way I know how: using Super Bowls. So the 1st Super Bowl is Super Bowl I (Packers over Chiefs), the 2nd Super Bowl is Super Bowl II (Packers over Raiders), and the 50th Super Bowl is Super Bowl 50 (Broncos over Panthers). Putting this together I get:

  I II II 50

  I’m at a loss as to what it could mean.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I purposely make my voice mail message as long as the time limit allows to waste the time of people looking to waste my time. Hope they like listening to screamy music.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  But how else am I supposed to find out that my car warranty expired?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Emulating PS2 for my Steam Deck, would love any recommendations!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The Simpsons Hit and Run is a solid GTA style game and is considered to be one of the best Simpsons games ever. The Simpsons Road Rage is a rip-off of Crazy Taxi but is still a solid game. The Simpsons Game is also a good game that kinda does it’s own thing. Don’t bother with the Simpsons Skateboarding, that one sucks.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨No one can know my shame⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t have to get in the forever box because I’m Homer Simp- Image

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Sad⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Strangers never offer me free candy.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mr. Grey, can I go to the bathroom?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  She could be a hero. Can’t see her being on Grindr though.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Facepalm on multiple levels⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The Venn Diagram between people who actually support this and people who just want to own the libs is a circle.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Member when all it took to lose the confidence of the American People was too much enthusiasm?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Or too little

  Image

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Kryptonite⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m not worried, I have paper!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If you're falling apart at only 27 you're in real trouble⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Brah, you just need to have a rock star attitude about being 27.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨okra stealing whore⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Too bad he couldn’t be stuck in Weird Al’s accordion.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Remember when you thought Ground Hog Day was legit?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  If only Phil could’ve relived the same day over and over again until he was able to patch things up with his wife.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Watch out!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  My parents could tell tails about how I used to run into the hedge. One time I really bloodied my my knuckles.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨When memes interact with each other⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The cat isn’t supposed to talk anyway.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My marxist big pharma shill of a “doctor” keeps trying to tell me i have a “testicular torsion” i told him my balls are red from my carnivore diet and are “swollen” because of my lively high t sperm.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Does it change how his pee is stored?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I like the determinism of Murphy’s Razor⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Bingo!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon fixes Super Mario Bros⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Kids have it too easy. Back in my day we did it the hard way! (using Game Genie)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's impossible to lose⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Peggy Hill disagrees.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Full immersive experience⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  That would explain why there’s lots of banana peels but no bananas.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨bernie on 21⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Hooray Blackjack!