When a lemmy user responds to me with a side effect, I can, by choice, reflect or absorb said side effect
Let's play this game again
Submitted 13 hours ago by LouSlash@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/5938fefa-5cea-4a68-9122-f24ebe841074.jpeg
Comments
REDACTED@infosec.pub 1 hour ago
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 20 minutes ago
But you get no superpowers.
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 1 hour ago
When I’m completely naked I’m invisible.
Dagwood222@lemm.ee 18 minutes ago
Doood, don’t half ass it.
Siegfried@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Uncontrollable farts
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 1 hour ago
I see this as a bonus!
REDACTED@infosec.pub 1 hour ago
How are you planning to ever have sex?
wanderwisley@lemm.ee 53 minutes ago
I will keep my socks on and just when I’m about to bust, socks come off and I scare the girl.
kinther@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
Every time I brush my teeth, they glow in the dark for the next 24 hours
undone@lemm.ee 2 hours ago
With the brightness of 1.000 suns
dangercake@feddit.uk 2 hours ago
But your nipples itch really badly the whole time
Spark@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
I can upvote or downvote as many times as I want
SchwertImStein@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
only you see it
atlien51@lemm.ee 3 hours ago
I GET IMMORTALITY!
SchwertImStein@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
your body still decays
OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Eastwick!
qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website 3 hours ago
You experience the passage of time as ever increasing in speed, and before long the universe has died, leaving you — immortal and sentient — alone in the cold, dead cosmos, for eternity.
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 57 minutes ago
Perhaps the speed-up is such that they still experience a normal lifespan. As time tends to infinity, the experience speed tends to infinity.
Most of eternity, to everyone else’s view, OP is an inanimate but immortal being whose reflexes are infinitely slow and can’t respond to anything.
BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
Every single (non-human) animal is friendly to me.
BigBrainBrett2517@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
They’re all super racist and hate each other.
MintyFresh@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
You just gave me my first out loud laugh of the day. Ty kind internet stranger!
baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 4 hours ago
anime protagonist and his harem
undone@lemm.ee 2 hours ago
So friendly that they constantly hit on you and try to get you to mate with them.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
friendly to me.
In the biblical sense
owl@infosec.pub 12 hours ago
I’m gonna choose the side effect and you choose the power:
“I ___, but only when I’m hard.”OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
am the world’s greatest kindergarten teacher
WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 1 hour ago
You can captivate the attention of any child. You’re a comedian or magician that would absolutely kill it at any children’s birthday party. You would be a fantastic teacher as you can hold the wrapped attention of even the most tiktok-corrupted teen.
Except, there’s just one small problem…
watson387@sopuli.xyz 11 hours ago
save kittens from trees
owl@infosec.pub 9 hours ago
That sounds nice. The newspapers will call me a hard hero.
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 8 hours ago
You can give moving public speeches
OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 11 hours ago
become immensely popular as a male role model
holycrap@lemm.ee 8 hours ago
Can reproduce
laserm@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Will to live
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 27 minutes ago
Who is Will, and why did he die?
This, of all, I wonder why.
When he left I felt the surge
Of pain flow though my heart and I Thought back to all the Wills I’ve known
But none of them would cause such groan
To splinter in my heart like this;
I’d barely find a little moan.
So why at last, when chance is here
Should I cry, “Will should live!” with fear?
I only met him once but now
For all he is I shed a tear.
And so I wait with baited breath
At graveside—but with terror rings
The note of balance, weighing kings
And paupers on the scale; sings
That this one’s life, return’d on wings,
In recompense a great doom brings:
The rest of us will meet our death.kboy101222@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
You get to live in the current world.
chuckleslord@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Insatiable cravings for sweets that no one makes or sells any longer.
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 3 hours ago
The ability to enter and bring objects/people into a space where time flows while it stops in the outside world. For a surface level example, you have a table in front of you and you could just by touching the table for example teleport to this place and proceed to play minecraft for an hour and then teleport back to the real world and continue from the same point. You could also store stuff there.
SchwertImStein@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
it is infested with transdimentional fleas
they are kinda ok, but make everything they touch slowly change colour to magenta
craktok@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Super speed of course!!
frobeniusnorm@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
The super speed only works for you, but not the symbiots in your body, like your gut bacteria. The increased metabolism combined with the still normal speed gut microbiota causes extreme diarrhea, so everytime you use it, you shit your pants violently.
dangercake@feddit.uk 2 hours ago
“And for keeping our city safe, we award you these ultra absorbent kevlar undies”
mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
you gain super speed, but cognition remains the same. your day is a constant struggle to plan out a meticulous series of moves, otherwise you’ll destroy your house trying to walk downstairs. this becomes particularly vexing for those middle-of-the-night strolls to the pisser. perhaps if you survive long enough you can adapt to the situation, but that seems unlikely.
name_NULL111653@pawb.social 2 hours ago
You have to eat enough calories to keep up with it, and while your body is stronger, you’ll still wear out and likely need all your joints replaced within a decade.
SchwertImStein@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
your body is not more resistant to high g-force
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 4 hours ago
Ability to become any fictional character with all their skills and powers while retaining my identity.
kreskin@lemmy.world 45 minutes ago
But all the fictional characters are in the stories as victims. Your name effectively replaces the term “florida man”.
WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 1 hour ago
You become the character. The character becomes you in the real world.
BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
But: the “transformation” takes two weeks, and is extremely painful.
assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
For you
Birch@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
You also instantly end up in /that/ episode where the fictional character is tested the most
Turret3857@infosec.pub 8 hours ago
Neural typical ignoramus is what I choose. I’d like to be able to ignore what’s happening in my country and be happy like a bunch of these dumbassss
Mwa@lemm.ee 8 hours ago
Controlling time to undue mistakes i have done in the past
TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 7 hours ago
infinite money
MTK@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
I can shit at will
saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 12 hours ago
Ability to make cheese at will.
Kidplayer_666@lemm.ee 13 hours ago
Shapeshifting
archonet@lemy.lol 7 hours ago
being happy
I don’t need superpowers, just let me not be depressed while retaining a functioning cock/not feeling numb to the world.
Alright, fun’s over, let the monkey’s paw curl.
Greg@lemmy.ca 12 hours ago
Super strength
genevieve@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 hours ago
I want to be just slightly above average in everything I do without needing training, but I can only achieve that level of slightly above average at whatever I do.
Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 9 hours ago
The ability to get my DnD group to have a sensible, routine schedule.
bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 13 hours ago
Teleportation
FQQD@lemmy.ohaa.xyz 11 hours ago
Have my nose grow every time I lie
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Just gimme photographic memory.
NKBTN@feddit.uk 7 hours ago
The ability to turn lead into gold just by touching it and saying a short incantation.
Resol@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
The ability to find any file I please from anywhere I choose no matter how confidential or copyrighted it is. (It’s… for a Club Penguin archival project, yeah)
sour@feddit.org 12 hours ago
Flying
the_abecedarian@piefed.social 2 hours ago
Telekinesis
rothaine@lemm.ee 12 hours ago
Bullet poops
AeonFelis@lemmy.world 27 minutes ago
The ability to the cat
eldoom@lemmy.ml 10 minutes ago
The cat does the dislikes