Two full raccoons y'all
Submitted 1 day ago by Gork@sopuli.xyz to [deleted]
https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/90966354-c400-4d51-bb93-956bd876b67d.webp
Comments
mechoman444@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
iusemybrain@sh.itjust.works 3 hours ago
with the power of god and anime on my side I could easily fit two racoon’s up my ass.
myyass@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Perfect post for my user name.
rumba@lemmy.zip 1 hour ago
Almost is the operative word
tigermountain@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Now I won’t be so worried.
arotrios@lemmy.world 1 day ago
a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 1 day ago
msage@programming.dev 11 hours ago
It has just the most adorable face
DrStanleyGoodspeed@lemmy.zip 2 hours ago
This is why I’m here
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 1 day ago
A four inch hole has a surface area of 12.57 square inches and one seven inches across has a surface area of 38.48 square inches and this means you can three of them pass through your ass at the same time without risking damage to your sphincter.
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 38 minutes ago
Yeah but I’m sure prep time and speed is a factor.
If a raccoon just suddenly sprinted out your asshole without warning it’s definitely gonna cause some damage
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 34 minutes ago
I’m sure three or four raccoons could sprint out of my ass no problem but it’s not exactly a normal one.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Too much time determining if you could. Not enough time asking if you should.
Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 20 hours ago
Came here for the math.
ILikeStupidMemes@lemmy.zip 12 hours ago
Sly cooper in my pooper
Leather@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
No one ever just shows up at the Olympics and gets a gold…
The untrained human ass can stretch that far without damage, but with a little practice?
ms_lane@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
0x0@lemmy.zip 16 hours ago
Raccoons with boxing gloves.
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 1 day ago
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Almost two racoons so far
cattywampas@lemmy.world 1 day ago
That’s gotta be circumference cause ain’t no way that diameter is correct.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Can’t be. That’d be a diameter of only 2.228 inches. That’s half a raccoon. Way too small.
floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Cherish your innocent eyes, the internet can be a nasty place.
phar@lemmy.world 1 day ago
This is actually a legitimate anatomy question, so here’s the straightforward answer.
The anal canal is quite elastic thanks to its muscular sphincters and surrounding tissue. In terms of practical limits:
Resting vs. maximum opening. At rest, the anus is essentially closed. The two sphincters (internal and external) can voluntarily and involuntarily relax, and the tissue can dilate considerably. During normal defecation, the diameter passing comfortably is typically around 2–3 cm. With gradual, deliberate stretching and lubrication, significantly larger diameters are possible without injury — which is why certain medical procedures work the way they do.
Medical context gives us good benchmarks. Anal exams routinely accommodate an adult finger (~2 cm), and colonoscopes are roughly 1.3 cm in diameter. In surgical and emergency settings, the anus can dilate to accept much larger objects — which is also why accidental foreign-body retention happens, something ER departments deal with regularly.
Practical and safety considerations:
- The internal sphincter is not under voluntary control; forcing things past resistance before it relaxes is what causes tears (fissures), which are painful and slow to heal
- Gradual, patient dilation with lubrication lets the muscles relax naturally
- Anything rigid or sharp poses real perforation risk to the rectum, which has thin walls and a curved anatomy
- Over-aggressive stretching can, in extreme cases, contribute to sphincter weakness or incontinence over time
The rectum itself is angled and connected to the sigmoid colon, so “how far” lengthwise is limited by that curve — objects pushed past it tend to lodge or cause damage, which is why ER retrieval is sometimes needed.
If you have a specific context in mind (medical, curiosity, or practical safety), I can go into more detail on that angle.
theunknownmuncher@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Why are you just posting AI generated output
phar@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
To see what it might actually say about anal stretching and posting it so anyone who was curious doesn’t have to go do it themselves? For science
VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 hours ago
Lol, “in surgical emergency settings”… and your mom’s bedroom. Well, lots of places really. Humans have anal Sex in a lot of settings.
So, like, posting an AI answer that clearly ignores part of the relevant real life data seems even worse to me than posting one that is nominally correct. Did you even read this yourself?
phar@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
I can’t tell if you’re trying to goad me or if you’re an actual idiot. I guess either way kudos for the shitposting
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
This one rectums.
sartalon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I hardly know 'em!
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 22 hours ago
Why, thank you for the raccoon stuffing safety tips!
Off I go to find a raccoon.
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
How many badgers is that? Asking for a friend.
0x0@lemmy.zip 16 hours ago
I knew there was a reason 26.04 is called Rancid Racoon.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Almost
This is where people get into trouble.
PattyMcB@lemmy.world 1 day ago
They also forget to take into account not every raccoon gets along with every other raccoon. Ever had two raccoons fighting each other whole stuck side by side in your anus?! Not a great time
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Don’t define what is or isn’t a great time for me thank you
Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
How the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?
itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world 1 day ago
What you’re telling me is I can comfortably house a raccoon up my ass. Why wouldn’t I? In this housing market? I could be charging rent!
Tiral@lemmy.zip 23 hours ago
They can go steal shit after dark and give you some spoils.
CalypsoGirl@lemmy.today 22 hours ago
If rent is your objective, I’m afraid you’ll have to find a raccoon-sized HUMAN who earns a living wage, and shove HIM up yer arse, because raccoons aren’t biologically subject to capitalist slavery, therefore they’d have no money to give you.
beejboytyson@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
I guarantee that you can sell that hole.
0x0@lemmy.zip 15 hours ago
No raccoons required.
DrBob@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
Almost as unsettling as having 37 open tabs. Like, I’ve been there before, and it’s never turned out well 😆
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 13 hours ago
You mean 438 open tabs?
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 18 hours ago
My tabs counter usually just makes this face :o
0x0@lemmy.zip 15 hours ago
Mine’s constantly showing ∞.
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 13 hours ago
My tab counter addon has no issues displaying numbers like 194
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
The key to doing this is to put the raccoons in serially. You just can’t put them in at the same time.
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 1 day ago
#anythingbutmetric
_stranger_@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
racooneter?
metercoon?
I don’t feel comfortable using wither of those words.
MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
I always thought you can stretch to 12 inches, and the raccoon can squees into 6?
Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 day ago
I have to know what they define as “taking damage” because there’s possibility for tearing even with a fraction of that size.
gastroglizzy@piefed.social 1 day ago
Small numbers begin appearing out of thin air. A red bar drains slowly.
lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
*without training
rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works 19 hours ago
Unrelated question. Can you fit two racoons into a mason jar?
Usernamealreadyinuse@lemmy.world 1 day ago
17.8cm…
Digestive_Biscuit@feddit.uk 16 hours ago
This reminds me of that torture method from the olden days. Hungry rat in a bowl on a person’s skin/abdomen. It’s going to dig into the person.
GrantUsEyes@piefed.zip 1 day ago
"There was talk of gerbils,"
Iykyk
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
A-COCKAROOOOO!
lookitsjustin@lemmy.ca 2 hours ago
Anything but the metric system.