Submitted 3 weeks ago by violet08@lemmy.today to [deleted]
Pretty much my current relationship. (I’m not the one “being used” though.)
Reality isn’t always as sexy though: Your moods won’t always be in sync and your libidos won’t always match. That’s just human. But those times it all matches are just magic.
And for the other times: Open communication, toys and setting and respecting clear boundaries go a long way.
Based and consent pilled
So true. I started taking SSRI (anti depressants) and have very little sex drive now. The only thing that seems to help is weed right now.
I think I would always be down to suck some gock, even if I’m not really in the mood myself. I love making the girlies happy.
Same, girl. Same. 😔
Same dude. Same.
I had this for a couple of years. It’s all it’s cracked up to be. Really wish she hadn’t gone crazy, shaved her head, and moved to Bali.
Classic
It really is, isn’t it?
Same y’all. Same.
The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh. Like I’ve always wanted “sex object” to be a part of my identity. It’s great for non-sexual stuff to be appreciated, but I’d want my partner to just be horny for me at least for a portion of the time.
It’s a problem when it’s all that your partner cares about. Sex is great, but the vast majority of the time you spend with your SO will not involve fucking. That other 90% is important too.
God I wish I could find a relationship that was 10% sex. I would actually try dating again.
I don’t know if it’s puritanical or what, but I think some people misunderstand sexual objectification to be a rejection of all sexual displays entirely. Like as an idiom, even.
On the idiom point, it’s entirely possible to objectify people in other ways, but I never really see anyone talk about them.
Some common ones: worker, consumer, commuter, fan, voter, reader, viewer, subscriber…
Being treated only as a font of knowledge, a hard worker, a reliable friend (when the friendship is otherwise not rewarding), having a lot of tools, etc, is kind of crappy. I at least get pleasure from sex. Honestly, if I had my druthers of how folks reduce me, I wouldn’t hate being valued for being good in bed.
I wonder if the friend with the truck ever feels like that.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but the problem is more about people other than your partner thinking like that.
The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh.
The key word here is object. When people complain about sexual objectification, most often they are complaining about people being treated as if they were sexual objects devoid of agency. There is nothing wrong with sex.
I just never saw it that way. Like there’s object as in inanimate thing, or there’s object as in object of the sentence, which is just the entity that isn’t doing the verb in the sentence, but that doesn’t imply they can’t be the subject of another sentence or that removing their agency is ok. There’s a difference between desiring someone and not caring what they desire.
Just the left one. I’m taking this virginity to my grave and my impressively godlike asexuality cannot be stopped.
But romance is so good.
You: but, what if we were just like REALLY good friends? Put that away please.
Aw yeah now that you put it that way, I actually prefer cuddling, could live without the slimy sweaty painful pounding. We need a third option up there for just romance & spooning with clothes on please.
The pain aspect is something you should address. First with your partner if their technique can be changed, and second with your doctor. And this one is like a layer cake - maybe you’re ace, maybe there is emotional context (that could be entirely unrelated to your current situation) that causes physical discomfort, or possibly there’s a physical component that your doctor might be able to help you with. Or some combination of all of them, because people are complex.
But romantic asexuality is definitely a thing, as is a number of variants within it.
Yeah, based and wholesome stuff pilled
Same, small furry creatures from Alpha Centuri, same
I like being a sentient dildo.
You like being sentient??
Of course it’s @violet08@lemmy.today
OK, by now we get that you’re rampantly horny, but besides that, what’s your damage? Just the standard ADHD/autism, or borderline/dissociative or something extra spicy?
Borderline :3
Lol my wife would very much vibe to this but as i guy i have to say its very hard to switch between these all the time. Mostly if am in comfy wholesome Mode…. dirty talk always feels super awkaward….
“Hey baby, I made your favorite because you’re worth it, you naughty whore…” “Wait, damn!”
Honestly thats not far off the truth…..
Do people really want the whole “be used as a sex toy any time” thing? I do not understand that at all, tbh. I’m not judging y’all or whatever, it’s just a very confusing concept to me. But sex is also a very complicated thing for me because of some shit I went through in my last relationship.
Yes, not at all uncommon in the BDSM community. Neither are 24/7 kink relationships. However, reality is different from fantasy and there is a fair amount of nuance in how this works in the context of a LTR and not a fun weekend.
yeah I’ve known subs with a “I want to wake up in the middle of sex” or “I want to be drugged” fetish.
The more this thread teaches me, the more I realize that me wanting a cute girl to pull my hair isn’t so crazy.
You hardly have to be a sub to want to wake up to a cute companion grinding on you.
Yeah, some people are into that. Terms called free-use. Sometimes its just an overly desire to be available to your significant other but there are many different ways one arrives at such affirmations
Many people like a bit of subordination/domination. As most things, it’s a spectrum and there are some people tending to either edges.
The two big caveats about subordination fetishes are however that firstly, such fantasies can be a response to trauma and/or abuse and secondly, it puts you in a very vulnerable position and leaves you very open to exploitation.
It’s the “comfy wholesome” part which really holds this together and makes it great: You’re putting an immense amount of trust and responsibility on your partner if you submit yourself like that and it can only work if your partner is fully aware of this, up to the task and really cares about you.
Can be wrong, but I suppose that here people mean that they are willing to have intercourse without preparations at any time they can if, of course, nothing prevents it(illness, urgent work, emergency, etc.). No need to have each tome a romantic date or a special occasion.
I must be old. Sometimes I need sleep.
At my age, a good night’s sleep is better than even good sex, and more rare. Sleeping through the night and waking up after dawn is a strange and welcome treat.
It’s certainly the worst part about getting old! I can’t remember the last time I slept a solid seven hours without at least two trips to the bathroom and a good amount of tossing and turning. Then there’s the existential dread.
Ah, Violet’s out posting again 😄
Same, girl. Same.
Godsdammit my violet08 is leaking acid salts again. Accidentally left the batteries in her for a year again.
"A lady in the streets but a freak in the bed"
One of the truest trues that ever trued.
Its freak in the sheets… its supposed to ryme… this broke me today.
“No pain, no increase”
At that point he’s just trolling.
It’s one of my 8 commandments.
Most women want a Kratos in the sheets and a Mimir in the streets
Too forward to put in a dating profile or nah? 🤔
I would be the correct amount of both scared and excited.
Scaroused.
Every new relationship adds new rules, new things to watch out for, and a subsequent limiting of the possible dating pool.
By now I know I am looking for something that statistically does not exist.
So real
Consensual non consent I think they call it? Not sure
i think this is more free use kink.
CNC involves pretending you don’t want it
Fine line for sure lol
Same, homie. Same.
Looks like the definition of love
🎵 I’m an object, 🎵
🎵 She’s an object, 🎵
🎵 He’s an object, 🎵
🎵 We’re all objects, 🎵
🎵 Wouldn’t you like to be an object too? 🎵
Was just talking about something very similar in another community LOL
mommy
yes, plz!
I had a troubled childhood and so did you
einfach_orangensaft@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
knowing who posted this before even checking the username…
lena@gregtech.eu 3 weeks ago
Lemmy stands on the shoulders of like 5 people with some uhhh interesting social media habits
einfach_orangensaft@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
yes but thats kinda why it is so compfy around here
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
if adora and jessica stop posting, blahaj.zone might as well close.
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
Image
BossDj@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
I’m here wondering how it spawned 90+ comments