Submitted 21 hours ago by violet08@lemmy.today to [deleted]
https://lemmy.today/pictrs/image/b26e19cb-f56b-4dc6-8d78-beb72d742809.jpeg
Pretty much my current relationship. (I’m not the one “being used” though.)
Reality isn’t always as sexy though: Your moods won’t always be in sync and your libidos won’t always match. That’s just human. But those times it all matches are just magic.
And for the other times: Open communication, toys and setting and respecting clear boundaries go a long way.
Based and consent pilled
So true. I started taking SSRI (anti depressants) and have very little sex drive now. The only thing that seems to help is weed right now.
I think I would always be down to suck some gock, even if I’m not really in the mood myself. I love making the girlies happy.
I had this for a couple of years. It’s all it’s cracked up to be. Really wish she hadn’t gone crazy, shaved her head, and moved to Bali.
Classic
It really is, isn’t it?
The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh. Like I’ve always wanted “sex object” to be a part of my identity. It’s great for non-sexual stuff to be appreciated, but I’d want my partner to just be horny for me at least for a portion of the time.
It’s a problem when it’s all that your partner cares about. Sex is great, but the vast majority of the time you spend with your SO will not involve fucking. That other 90% is important too.
God I wish I could find a relationship that was 10% sex. I would actually try dating again.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but the problem is more about people other than your partner thinking like that.
I don’t know if it’s puritanical or what, but I think some people misunderstand sexual objectification to be a rejection of all sexual displays entirely. Like as an idiom, even.
On the idiom point, it’s entirely possible to objectify people in other ways, but I never really see anyone talk about them.
Some common ones: worker, consumer, commuter, fan, voter, reader, viewer, subscriber…
Being treated only as a font of knowledge, a hard worker, a reliable friend (when the friendship is otherwise not rewarding), having a lot of tools, etc, is kind of crappy. I at least get pleasure from sex. Honestly, if I had my druthers of how folks reduce me, I wouldn’t hate being valued for being good in bed.
I wonder if the friend with the truck ever feels like that.
The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh.
The key word here is object. When people complain about sexual objectification, most often they are complaining about people being treated as if they were sexual objects devoid of agency. There is nothing wrong with sex.
Same, girl. Same. 😔
Same dude. Same.
OK, by now we get that you’re rampantly horny, but besides that, what’s your damage? Just the standard ADHD/autism, or borderline/dissociative or something extra spicy?
I like being a sentient dildo.
You like being sentient??
Do people really want the whole “be used as a sex toy any time” thing? I do not understand that at all, tbh. I’m not judging y’all or whatever, it’s just a very confusing concept to me. But sex is also a very complicated thing for me because of some shit I went through in my last relationship.
Yes, not at all uncommon in the BDSM community. Neither are 24/7 kink relationships. However, reality is different from fantasy and there is a fair amount of nuance in how this works in the context of a LTR and not a fun weekend.
yeah I’ve known subs with a “I want to wake up in the middle of sex” or “I want to be drugged” fetish.
The more this thread teaches me, the more I realize that me wanting a cute girl to pull my hair isn’t so crazy.
Yeah, some people are into that. Terms called free-use. Sometimes its just an overly desire to be available to your significant other but there are many different ways one arrives at such affirmations
Can be wrong, but I suppose that here people mean that they are willing to have intercourse without preparations at any time they can if, of course, nothing prevents it(illness, urgent work, emergency, etc.). No need to have each tome a romantic date or a special occasion.
Same y’all. Same.
Just the left one. I’m taking this virginity to my grave and my impressively godlike asexuality cannot be stopped.
But romance is so good.
You: but, what if we were just like REALLY good friends? Put that away please.
Aw yeah now that you put it that way, I actually prefer cuddling, could live without the slimy sweaty painful pounding. We need a third option up there for just romance & spooning with clothes on please.
The pain aspect is something you should address. First with your partner if their technique can be changed, and second with your doctor. And this one is like a layer cake - maybe you’re ace, maybe there is emotional context (that could be entirely unrelated to your current situation) that causes physical discomfort, or possibly there’s a physical component that your doctor might be able to help you with. Or some combination of all of them, because people are complex.
But romantic asexuality is definitely a thing, as is a number of variants within it.
Yeah, based and wholesome stuff pilled
Same, small furry creatures from Alpha Centuri, same
So real
"A lady in the streets but a freak in the bed"
One of the truest trues that ever trued.
I must be old. Sometimes I need sleep.
At my age, a good night’s sleep is better than even good sex, and more rare. Sleeping through the night and waking up after dawn is a strange and welcome treat.
It’s certainly the worst part about getting old! I can’t remember the last time I slept a solid seven hours without at least two trips to the bathroom and a good amount of tossing and turning. Then there’s the existential dread.
Of course it’s @violet08@lemmy.today
Lol my wife would very much vibe to this but as i guy i have to say its very hard to switch between these all the time. Mostly if am in comfy wholesome Mode…. dirty talk always feels super awkaward….
Duuuude, someone who understands my exact position. Yes I want to roll in the sheets doing that one thing but we’re in the middle of a Celtics game and you just commented on a sweet 3 pointer, it’s like whiplash
“Hey baby, I made your favorite because you’re worth it, you naughty whore…” “Wait, damn!”
Honestly thats not far off the truth…..
Every new relationship adds new rules, new things to watch out for, and a subsequent limiting of the possible dating pool.
By now I know I am looking for something that statistically does not exist.
Same, girl. Same.
It’s almost warm enough for dresses again 😎
Ah, Violet’s out posting again 😄
Same, homie. Same.
Too forward to put in a dating profile or nah? 🤔
I would be the correct amount of both scared and excited.
Scaroused.
I used to have this before she moved in with me.
How about one partner for each?
Not everyone has that much bandwidth but you go on, wild thing.
I once had three partners and all three were both. It was exhausting. Now I’m back down to two and this is a good level.
Looks like the definition of love
Where love?
What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me
Was just talking about something very similar in another community LOL
mommy
yes, plz!
einfach_orangensaft@sh.itjust.works 19 hours ago
knowing who posted this before even checking the username…
BossDj@piefed.social 51 minutes ago
I’m here wondering how it spawned 90+ comments
lena@gregtech.eu 18 hours ago
Lemmy stands on the shoulders of like 5 people with some uhhh interesting social media habits
einfach_orangensaft@sh.itjust.works 18 hours ago
yes but thats kinda why it is so compfy around here
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 16 hours ago
if adora and jessica stop posting, blahaj.zone might as well close.
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 17 hours ago
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