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Patch this Bish!

⁨1049⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨fossilesque@mander.xyz⁩ to ⁨science_memes@mander.xyz⁩

https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/d0710e9f-452e-4e0f-9f0a-752e4bcf8df2.jpeg

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Comments

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  • Majorllama@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.

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    • SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      You’re just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it’s just going to keep happening.

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      • hinterlufer@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a strap without opening my mouth

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    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      on accident

      Rather than by purpose? #54%

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      • Majorllama@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        I’m a masochist but I have my limits. Lol

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      There’s also the weird decision to put a bunch of easily-bruised bones in your butt which would normally be used for a tail.

      I once had a creationist defend the coccyx as being necessary for keeping muscles together. That was fun.

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  • kersploosh@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    -cartilage in joints can regenerate

    -body can synthesize its own vitamin c

    Other species already do these things smh.

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    • phdepressed@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      We used to do the vitamin c but then were like its too easy to get elsewhere why bother.

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  • Godnroc@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    • Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
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    • scops@reddthat.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Yeah, it’s crazy to me that people believe we were “intelligently designed” when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.

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      • Sonor@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        you mean the slightly more muddy amusment park, that is next to the new, purprose built one, right?

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    • deo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can’t properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.

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    • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Wasn’t this a compromise that allows speech? Babies can drink and breathe at the same time.

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      • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        I remember reading humans can still “breathe” amniotic fluid once they get passed the gag reflex. I remember wondering how someone figured that out…

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    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      “left user note to pause breathing while swallowing to prevent esophageal trespass when backup breathing interface used for food consumption. No change recommended to emergency breathing access. Closing DOC_UPDATE”

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  • Meowstermind@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there’s much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it’s just not it.

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    • caseyweederman@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Just divide at a cellular level, nature has already solved this problem! Upstart life forms these days thinking they can reinvent the wheel.

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    • ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      The engineer solution: back to egg laying, which also fixes menstruation

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    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Agreed, that shits rough on people. Impacts of teeth and post partem. Yet a funny thing there is that we can tell you down to the day you were impregnated by the growth of the fetus.

      Next person. Sir drink this stuff to make you shit your brains out and I’m going to shove my finger in your ass to see if we can get a scope of what your insides are like.

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  • T156@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Humans do bioluminisce, it’s just too weak for human eyes and most detectors.

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    • Zacryon@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      TIL
      Thanks for the link! This is really awesome.

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Thank you, I came here to say the same thing. The problem isn’t that we don’t glow, it’s the fact that our eyes suck.

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      • CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Don’t we have some of the best eyes in the entire animal kingdom except for birds?

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      • cows_are_underrated@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Also you are a flying squid and not a glowing squid, so its no wonder that we/you don’t glow.

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    • Zerush@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      A lot of Bioluminiscence, but Infrared light as almost in any living be, which we can’t see without special devices.

      Structural weakness not only in the lower back, but also in the knees. The human being still has many reminists of an quadruped, as one of the younger species. He still has a way to be optimized as bipedo. Lower back and knees are still not optimized for this, apart of some other static and organic problems. We are still in phase beta.

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      • T156@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        A lot of Bioluminiscence, but Infrared light as almost in any living be, which we can’t see without special devices.

        It’s different from the blackbody radiation that body heat produces.

        Structural weakness not only in the lower back, but also in the knees. The human being still has many reminists of an quadruped, as one of the younger species. He still has a way to be optimized as bipedo. Lower back and knees are still not optimized for this, apart of some other static and organic problems. We are still in phase beta.

        Evolution doesn’t follow the rules of intelligent design anyhow. If they did, we would all be crabs.

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      • T156@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        A lot of Biolumiscence, but infrared light as almost in any living be, which we can’t see without special devices.

        It’s separate from the blackbody radiation that comes from body heat.

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  • cm0002@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    2.0? Bruh, humans are still on pre-v1 beta

    Frankly, I don’t know how anyone can look at the absolute shit show that is the human body and go “yup, this was totally intelligently designed”

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    • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Apparently a lot of males are still in alpha.

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      • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Alpha roll-out for an entire cohort is in-progress.

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    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      ironically we may well have been the only somewhat intelligently designed animal for a long time, since there’s a pretty good argument that we’re self-domesticated.

      so like, we’re not just a prerelease, we’re a fucking fork of a prerelease

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  • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    • Suffocation sensation is now tied to a lack of oxygen instead of an abundance of carbon dioxide.
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    • Hoimo@ani.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Would that fix our carbonmonoxide weakness?

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      • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        It wouldn’t make carbon monoxide less poisonous to us, but depending on how sensitive the sensation of suffocation is made it would help us realize something is wrong and maybe even eliminate the need for carbon monoxide detectors.

        Carbon monoxide isn’t only dangerous because it’s not oxygen, but because it disrupts our blood’s normal process of absorbing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide. My laymen understanding is that it sort of jams the door lol. As opposed to things like nitrogen which merely gets in the way but don’t disrupt the process.

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  • callyral@pawb.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Well, we do glow in infrared…

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    • socsa@piefed.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      And radio waves!

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      • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        And when the static electricity randomly ignites a long fart!

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  • ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Also please reroute the food pipe to not use the air pipe

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  • Furbag@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I want my prehensile tail back, not this vestigial piece of SHIT!

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    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      How do you picture it? Like a spider monkey, a fox, or like on of those hippopotamus’s who helicopters chops their shit everywhere?

      One sounds useful, one sounds cute, one sounds like your asserting dominance of unexpecting persons waiting in queue

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      • Manalith@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        I feel like different races would have different tails based on what’s most useful to their environment.

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  • frezik@midwest.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    If teeth regenerate, do we have to constantly chew on things like rodents?

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    • kopasz7@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      No, you just get a new set growing in the gums.

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    • Prandom_returns@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      You clip them like nails.

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      • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        I did not need this mental image in the morning.

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    • Cenotaph@mander.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Maybe we could get rows like sharks

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    • Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      An ass-needed thing?

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      • YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        You don’t need teeth to eat ass.

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      • I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Hold on, baby, let me regenerate my ass eating teeth

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      • keepcarrot@hexbear.net ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        I can’t believe I need to keep chewing ass to keep my teeth in check!

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  • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Add new receptors to be able to feel wetness.
    This is it cold or wet thing we have going on is just crappy design.

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  • tiny@midwest.social [bot] ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I would have thought eating and breathing from the same hole would have been in this release 😞 guess I’ll just have to wait till 3.0

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    • VitoRobles@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Wait, you can’t eat and breathe through the same hole?

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      • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Trouble is, you can’t not.

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      • I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        They should be dedicated holes for each process

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  • TDCN@feddit.dk ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Can we also fix the depression glitch where happiness points aren’t collected and your brain energy bar depleats completely with no way of regeneration without hacking the brain with 3rd party tool antidepressants.

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    • UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Exercice helps but 3rd party tool are often still needed.

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    • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      They just need to eliminate diminishing returns that they introduced back in the beta.

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  • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Ahem… maybe new players forgot this, but humans have been bioluminescent since the oxygenic respiration patch ages ago.

    sciencealert.com/you-can-t-see-it-but-humans-actu…

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    • reptar@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I want to know at what wavelengths. Did I miss it?

      It bugs me that they say ‘it’s not infrared - it’s photons!’ (paraphrasing).

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      • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Its not clear to me either, but since they said visible, my guesses would be 680 nanometers or 490 nanometers, because, well, hydrogen.

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  • Zwiebel@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Casually forgot about cancer

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    • NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      We’ll start the carcinisation tree in 3.0.

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  • WrenFeathers@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I’d like someone to at least look into the whole ADHD thing. It’s been going on for some time now without any word on why it’s there, or what it’s for- and aside from funny memes, it’s yet to provide any positive results.

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    • mdd@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I’d like to add depression and anxiety to fixing ADHD as an individual can exhibit all three.

      This can be split into several patches if necessary.

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      • WrenFeathers@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Absolutely! I just figured that for many, addressing the one will help the others, but yeah… they are their own bugs unto themselves for a lot of people.

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    • Aqarius@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Or, like, at least a caffeine gland or something.

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  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Mosquitos are not humanity though.

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  • nthavoc@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I’d like to request a bug fix: Eyelashes falling into eyeball. Need to fix the physics so they probably spring away or wash out easier.

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    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Maybe just not fall out. Let’s just add a user creetion set-up like a video game. Choose sex, height, weight, legs arms blah blah blah.

      Some people would spend 3 hours every morning changing their look, others would always look the same. Some people would be swapping mid activities.

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  • executivechimp@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    • add pain snooze button
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  • philpo@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Can we rather make the kernel more stable before we change the design? These instabilities cause the whole process to hang itself up or terminate FAR to often!

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  • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    These are the sort of genetic engineering/eugenists I want to see. None of that “deleting gay gene” or “breeding smart people” pseudo science garbage.

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  • Zacryon@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    • regrow hair cells to mitigate hearing loss
    • (optional) eternal life and youth
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  • Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Saltwater consumption when???

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  • aaa@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    photosynthesis?

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  • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Three Panel Soul.

    Image

    Image

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  • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I’d like to reengineer the mosquito to draw blood samples, identify viruses, then create and spread vaccinations.

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  • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    • remove redundant form of hemoglobin

    Ah yes let’s make the entire system vulnerable so a single attack vector can shutdown every node.

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  • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You say that now but wait till you’re sleeping in a tree (to escape the dinosaurs) and start to fall and there’s nothing to wake you! Then you’ll be sorry you wished away that “glitch!”

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  • TheSlad@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Am I weird in that I actually like the hypnic jerk feeling? It doesnt happen often to me, maybe once every few months. I also like bedspins, used to get them every night as a child/teen. though they rarely happen anymore. It was like my own personal rollercoaster ride!

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