Reyali
@Reyali@lemm.ee
- Comment on Press F to pay respects 3 days ago:
Dang. Thank you for posting this!
- Comment on Damn 3 weeks ago:
I haven’t seen this meme in a couple years but I referenced it to my partner just yesterday but didn’t feel like looking it up. So big surprise when I opened Lemmy and it was the second thing in my feed. Thank you!
- Comment on Is it weird to juggle in the park? 5 weeks ago:
Weird as in unusual? Sure
Weird in a bad way? Definitely not
It makes sense to feel uncomfortable about this because it’s probably something you haven’t seen other people do. But it’s awesome and would bring many people joy to see someone doing it. Go for it!
- Comment on Thanks, YouTube! 5 weeks ago:
Ooooof
- Comment on [deleted] 5 weeks ago:
Adding onto this, there are way more jobs than you likely even realize or will learn about. Figuring out what you enjoy and are good at might help you figure that out, but sometimes you just need to get out there and start trying things. You may still not know just from college.
I had never heard of one of the jobs I ended up getting (Business Analyst) and it introduced me to the career I’m in now: Product Management.
Product Management requires me to communicate with folks of wildly different backgrounds (end users, software developers, designers, business execs, etc.) and I need to both understand their needs plus help them understand the same things as each other. To do so, I need to understand people and context and basically translate information through a those lenses. I also look at data and a wide array of opportunities then evaluate their priority. It’s a job that uses my natural talents and it’s genuinely fun for me.
But I had no idea the role even existed until I was two years out of college and into the workforce, and still had little clue what the role actually did for two years after that.
- Comment on Why do we tolerate it that Luigi Mangione is being held in prison. We know its absolutely the least safe place he can be? 5 weeks ago:
Anecdotal observation I received from a doctor’s office indicates there may be some change in the insurance industry…
Last month I saw a surgeon who does not take insurance, but her office helps people get all the pre-authorizations done to file an out-of-network claim. They told me that of the codes they bill, there’s one that used to have a 50/50 chance of getting approved. But after 12/6/24 they see it come back approved every time.
Without more data to back this up I recognize it’s not enough to say anything for sure, but this does point to insurance companies more broadly approving claims.
- Comment on Do you know the answer? 5 weeks ago:
I used to use em dashes all the time and now I find myself rethinking my writing styles because of people like you and it’s obnoxious.
- Comment on Dreams can come true 5 weeks ago:
Isn’t this more of a lemmypeepost?
- Comment on MOOOOOM! 1 month ago:
Kind of amazing how recognizable that particular bit of concrete at the angle it’s shot from is.
- Comment on Is it normal to be constantly scared about how your friend will react to anything about you? 1 month ago:
In your heart I think you know the answer or you wouldn’t be posting here like this. No, it’s not normal or healthy. That person is not a friend, and he seems dangerous to be around (maybe not for physical reasons but definitely for mental reasons).
Continue to be secretive and distance yourself from him; that’s not asshole behavior, that’s self-preservation. I hope you are able to separate yourself and get free from this person and in time find actual friends who care and support you for who you are.
- Comment on Definitely didn't waste half an hour making this 2 months ago:
My fidgeting while I was in middle school led me to break every kind of mechanical pencil I used, except for 5. I forced myself to only use those in high school and college so I would always have a reliable pencil.
- Comment on People never understand the sacrifices I make for them. 3 months ago:
Scrum.org doesn’t have anything about strategy in the Scrum Master role so no, not by-the-book. By-the-book Scrum, I am a Product Owner of the whole application. But because my app is huge, areas within it are owned by members of my team. I’m working on the long-term business plan and organizational-level barriers, not the day-to-day execution that a Scrum Master would own.
- Comment on People never understand the sacrifices I make for them. 3 months ago:
Ah, I read the italics as sarcasm and was trying to make sense of it in that way. I know what a Scrum Master is; my company doesn’t have them, so their responsibilities are spread across multiple roles. But yeah, my role is higher. I’m not helping the team with processes, I’m working with Directors and VPs on the business side to determine where the product is going. So planning side, not delivery side.
- Comment on People never understand the sacrifices I make for them. 3 months ago:
lol, seems like it. I would hate being an actual Scum Master though! I’m a Lead Product Manager over four dev teams with a team of 3 PMs. I am trying to focus on longer-term strategy and removing barriers for my team, while the PMs who report to me should be the ones making decisions and doing the individual contributor work.
- Comment on People never understand the sacrifices I make for them. 3 months ago:
It’s not uncommon for me to only have one or two 30-minute breaks between 8:30am and 5pm. I’ve gotten to the point that if I have over 2 hours without meetings I often feel like I get nothing done, because I’ve gotten pretty good at getting a few things (emails or messages, not deep work) knocked out in the 5-10 min in between calls. I can only really focus on deeper work at night after everyone else has signed off.
Not really a sustainable way of doing work, I’m also not doing as much hands-on work these days. A lot of my meeting time is 1-on-1s with my team and making sure they have what they need to move forward, make decisions, and get work done or with other people to try to remove barriers to help the team be able to move forward. So in that sense, the meetings ARE the work.
- Comment on We're in the endgame now 3 months ago:
So yeah, exactly like how they use the Bible!
- Comment on Patch this Bish! 4 months ago:
Not great for long-term use in cases of chronic pain though.
- Comment on Why do smokers specifically seem to be disproportionally bad for littering? 4 months ago:
The filters are made of plastic cellulose. Once upon a time I believe they were just cotton which would have been fine, but it’s been a long time since that was true.
- Comment on I liked Star Trek before it got woke. /s 4 months ago:
My partner and I have a theory that MacFarlane pitched The Orville as “Family Guy in space,” and he got to make it because of his success with Family Guy. But the actual goal he had all along was to make Star Trek.
In order to keep the game up and get a second season, he had to sell the pitch at least a bit. So the early episodes are like Star Trek with cringey Family Guy-esque jokes. But as the series goes on, the cringe stops, the jokes slow down, and the plots get deeper.
I can’t stand cringe humor and did not consider myself a fan of MacFarlane, but The Orville changed that.
- Comment on how do I show a coworker that I care about her after her mother died? 5 months ago:
Yeah, and that’s also the time that people who are grieving are likely to feel like they should be moving on, but that’s rarely the case. Having someone else acknowledge that it’s still ok if it’s still a difficult time can be really validating.
I recently reached out to a coworker whose dog died and said, “I’ve been thinking about you and [Dog’s name]. I hope you’re finding moments of comfort and are doing as well as you can. I just wanted you to know you’re in my thoughts.”
I recently lost my cat and know when a couple people reached out with similar comments it meant a lot.
- Comment on is feeling disrespected reason good enough to change jobs? 5 months ago:
Yeah I’m sure I could have gotten more a bit faster and I’m pretty sure I’d make more with my title at many other companies, but environment and quality of life are worth more to me.
The company’s culture is fantastic for many reasons. It’s a well-known brand with ~2k corporate employees and while others are mandating RTO, my CEO has gone on public record multiple times to reinforce that we are a work-from-anywhere company. Also there have been massive layoffs over the past year and our last layoff was in 2021 (and relatively small). Layoffs under our CEO aren’t a fact of life while our prior CEO relished the twice annual layoff and is still doing that at the company he runs now.
Plus I genuinely like the work I do and love the people I work with. Now that I make money well beyond my means, I care way more about culture than chasing another buck.
- Comment on is feeling disrespected reason good enough to change jobs? 5 months ago:
Comments like yours remind me why I’m so damn lucky and grateful for my job…
In February I’ll have been there 10 years, and my salary is almost 150% more than when I started (which was above $50k for context).
I’ve gotten annual ~3% “raises” each year, as well as one role change (+11%), two promotions (+25% and +13%), and a raise I pushed for (+12%). The first promotion, my boss literally called me on a Tuesday and said I had a new title and my raise was effective as of the Saturday before.
I share this to remind people these kinds of companies do exist, even if they’re the exception.
- Comment on The funny progression of getting promotions at work 5 months ago:
My guess is they work across multiple locations (Market) and manage personnel (People Lead). Everything up to that title seems likely to be related to just the one location.
Field offices for my company have team leads oversee 3 locations. Not sure how it would work in fast food, but that’s what I’m drawing my guesses from.
- Comment on how do I become the dullest, most boring coworker so this needy man leaves me alone? 5 months ago:
If I may rephrase what I’m reading: You don’t want to tell him to leave you alone because you would be upset if someone told you that.
Here’s the thing: you don’t know that will upset him. TL;DR of the rest of my post: he probably won’t take it the way you would, and I highly recommend being straightforward with him.
I suggest reading about the difference in Ask Culture vs Guess Culture. Those of us who grew up in a guess culture manage our own actions based on what we think will be acceptable to those around us and won’t even initiate something if it would be deemed inappropriate, so it’s rare we have to be told “no”. Those in ask culture will just ask and be totally fine if told no, because they haven’t already done the pre-work to figure out if their request will be approved.
One of the best lessons I’ve had in the past few years is that other people don’t respond like me. I mean, that should be obvious. But it came up in the context of being a manager at work with an underperformer. I would be devastated if my boss told me I was not doing well at my job, and so I was terrified of telling my direct report that. I communicated the gaps in her specific actions for months, but we finally got to a point where I needed to have the conversation that I didn’t think the role was the right fit for her. It was one of the hardest days in my career. And she thanked me for it!
I was so scared because I was imagining how I’d feel hearing what I was going to say. But she’s not me! And instead of being upset, she felt relief to hear someone else say it.
You’re afraid of being rude, and that shows you have compassion and care for others. But I bet you that this coworker of yours just needs to be told, and not communicating with him is actually less kind.
A quote from a favorite book series of mine is a take on our “golden rule” through an alien culture: “The Iron Rule: Treat others less powerful than you however you like. The Silver Rule: Treat others as you’d like to be treated. The Golden Rule: Treat others as they’d like to be treated.”
- Comment on Simple spelling rule. 5 months ago:
I prefer spelling it with an ‘e’ so I always do that (probably because my name has two common spellings, one with an A and the other with an E, and mine is the latter).
But if forced to identify which is which color-wise, I’d say “grey” has cool undertones while “gray” has warm undertones. Really no reason to think that, but it’s right in my brain.
- Comment on No one showed up to his party 5 months ago:
Requesting one small caveat to your thinking: your friends with chronic health issues (physical and/or mental) may bail more often than others but still love you.
My partner has lost friends over them thinking he uses his migraines as an excuse to not show up to things. They feel hurt because he bailed one too many times for them, and he feels hurt because they diminished his disability and didn’t believe him. It’s hard to see the additional toll it takes on him.
(I also have my own chronic issues but thankfully have been able to suck it up often enough to not have it come in the way of friendships. Sometimes he and I are intentional about making sure at least one of us attends something even if we both feel like shit in order to not alienate people we care about.)
- Comment on When leftists say "landlord are parasites" or similar dislike of landlords, do they also mean the people that own like a couple of houses as an investment, or only the big landlords? 5 months ago:
I appreciate you breaking it down this way. It helps me understand the stance so many hold on landlords.
However, I think you’re missing a lot in your distillation that everything above mortgage + handyman salary is making money for nothing.
Owner also pays property taxes, insurance, all maintenance costs, all upgrades, and possibly utilities or yard care. The benefits for the renters include having a maintenance person on-call all the time, not needing to vet each tradesperson, not needing to get quotes, no expenses when an appliance breaks, no liability in case of a disaster, and more.
If I didn’t have a handy partner and the market was reasonable, I’d love to rent. I don’t want to deal with maintenance and I like having a consistent monthly fee rather than suddenly having to spend $2k on a new water heater like I did last month, or being afraid that our heat might die suddenly this winter because we weren’t ready to spend >$20k this summer to replace the air handler when it went out and needed a new part. Plus my partner took 3 half days off work to get 3 quotes for it. They each told us significantly different things that we needed to do, so we couldn’t decide if we were comfortable doing business with any of them. That shit is stressful! Having the assurance that I can call just one person and someone else will take care of it is worth a good price.
So the cost of owning some units is more than just the mortgage, and the benefits of renting are more than just a maintenance person’s salary. Distilling it to just those two things is an unjust comparison.
Should a person get stupidly rich off of being a landlord? No. That’s exploitative. The cost of renting should match the cost of the property and maintenance (as averaged out over time) plus the cost/savings of the additional benefits of renting. That’s all. But that’s a lot more than just mortgage + handyman salary divided out over however many units the landlord owns.
(Also this assumes the person is actually a good landlord, and we know there are many landlords out there who aren’t.)
- Comment on human anteaters 6 months ago:
This is exactly what I thought about increasing this! I asked my bf what bug it was because I couldn’t remember for sure. If only I’d kept scrolling before asking, lol.
- Comment on flouride 6 months ago:
Small note: the country name is spelled “Colombia,” and spelling it correctly means you don’t need to specify which one!
- Comment on I would personally just treat whatever direction I'm facing at the time as North and go from there. 6 months ago:
At one point in my childhood, my dad made the comment, “Women don’t know compass directions.” I took offense to that and made a point to learn them to prove him wrong.
I felt vindicated in high school when he was coming to pick me up from a friend’s house and said, “I’m at the gas station. Do I go left or right?” I told him there were several gas stations on the way, and asked which direction he was facing to figure out which one he was by. He couldn’t tell me and finally hung up on me in a huff.