AskReddit

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• edgemaster72@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead.

  You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm.

  They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.

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  • ChillPill@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Well, thank you for that. That’s a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn’t mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?

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    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      That’s a quote from the movie

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  • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Classic.

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  • kemsat@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I just rewatched that classic yesterday

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  • BugleFingers@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Though I’d suspect you do want it in the deep freezer for some period of time, it makes the whole “blood and innards” thing much less of an issue to deal with I’d think. At least for chopping and/or bagging

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    • roguetrick@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      So what you do NOT want to do is try to dismantle the torso. You pop the peritoneum and everything will kind of come out like a poorly wrapped burrito and you’ll have a right mess on your hands.

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    • Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I don’t think I want to hang out anymore…

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• Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.

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  • rimmedalpha@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Second best monolog in that movie. The Desert Eagle vs Replica scene is still my favorite.

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    • rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I like the part when Brad Pitt says “aslkdjhgfaledkjfhgawserlfkjhawuigh?”

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    • Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      youtu.be/i93SR5OG058

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  • Lemminary@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Damn, this guy crimes. I’m impressed.

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    • Snowcano@startrek.website ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It’s from the movie Snatch. Banger of a classic!

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  • ben_dover@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    – Snatch

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  • dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Someone else posted the same comment 4 hours before.

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    • Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I’m not sure how I didn’t notice that but thanks.

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  • PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I think getting teeth out of a dead body’s skull would be more difficult and shittier than sifting through the pig shit afterwards.

    Sixteen pigs? Farm animals are expensive and so are farms. I’m sure pigs are a good way to dispose of a body but if you’re that well off, surely there are even more foolproof methods available.

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    • BigPotato@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Someone has never seen Snatch, have they?

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    • teamevil@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Nails…the pigs don’t digest nails

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  • frigidaphelion@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Do you know what “nemesis” means?

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    • ChronosTriggerWarning@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      “A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt; me.”

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    • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      “Horrible star trek movie”?

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  • phoenixz@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    So you call yourself fuxk spez yet you kust copy/paste your comments from older comments in the same thread?

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    • Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I copied and pasted my comment from IMDb and then discovered someone else had already posted it. If I was that lazy I wouldn’t have bothered removing the other person’s line breaks.

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• Spoilt@jlai.lu ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “light mode”

  Well done, you have managed to dazzle the blind.

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  • LodeMike@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    :3

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    • Nomad@infosec.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You make no sense, son of chronos.

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• Cyberbatman@lemmings.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Very obvious…You hide the body at the cemetery

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  • lemmywinksthegerbilking@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    wait I’ve never thought about this

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• mwproductions@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  IIRC from last time, someone on Reddit suggested digging a vertical hole (smaller visual footprint in an aerial search), covering the body with yogurt (to speed up decomp), and then burying a dead animal above the body (to throw off the cadaver dog’s handlers).

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  • mipadaitu@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Cadaver (or HRD) dog handler here. It’ll only confuse the cops, not the dog handler.

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  • teamevil@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Gotta put crushed up glass between the body and what ever dead thing you buried close to the surface to discourage digging

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    • Krzd@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Fuck no, that would only encourage digging because it’s too suspicious.

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• lowleveldata@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I too, want to hide my body. Try wearing some clothes.

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  • FarFarAway@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Right. I dont know why everyone assumes its a dead body.

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• Letstakealook@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Depending on climate and soil type, you will need to dig a 3’wx6’lx3-6d hole. USFS land is great for this. Place nude cadaver in hole and coat with 10-15lbs of lye. Refill hole with excavated soil to approximate level of surrounding area. Disperse excess soil thinly over a wide area. Finally, cover disturbed soil with natural debris from the surrounding area, such as pine needles, leaves, twigs, etc.

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• Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  It would take a couple of weeks but if you go out and vote it could function.

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  • LodeMike@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    What

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    • Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I guessed it was about a certain person who’s in the news a lot right now before the american election… I’m potentially totally wrong.

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• Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Prop him up beside the jukebox. Fill his boots up with sand, put a stiff drink in his hand… Nobody will even suspect he’s dead!

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  • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Consider finding yourself a “pickup man” with a 6-foot bed that never has to be made. Perfect size for your needs.

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• A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  If I answer that, then you’ll find all the other ones.

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• Lemminary@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I love how if this were a serious post people would be up in arms. But since it’s a shitpost everyone’s ok with sharing their expertise. 😂

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  • Zozano@lemy.lol ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    New meta: be as specific as possible so that others think you’re being ironic.

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• ulterno@lemmy.kde.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Depends upon what your are hiding it from.

  If the white male is a human and understands your language, maybe you can convince it to hide - in your closet / behind a tree / under a bed / behind some bushes etc.

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• DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Just tow it outside of the environment

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  • aulin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Into another environment?

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      No, no, no, it was towed beyond the environment. It’s not in the environment.

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• Schmeckinger@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  We do a bit of pension fraud

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• Feelfold@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  The “Weekend at Bernie’s” method seems to be working well enough already.

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  • FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    It worked with Biden for about 3 years before people noticed. (Poor form, I know, but couldn’t resist.)

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• BreadOven@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I’d tell you, but I don’t want to be on another list.

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• finitebanjo@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Mixed feelings because I want to share the correct method but doing so could prevent justice from being served.

  Instead, just go with that pig method, I’m sure butchering a human body wont create piles of evidence on every surface, and truly pigs are magical machines that leave no trace in what goes in for what comes out.

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• Sam_Bass@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Compost bin

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• rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Just tell him “hey, aren’t they serving dinner at the home soon? I heard it’s Jello night!” and he’ll leave.

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• SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Wow, Reddit’s gotten really dark since last time I checked

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• Mio@feddit.nu ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Move it to heaven or hell.

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• Jumpingspiderman@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Feed the body to pigs.

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• Hobo@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Congress?

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